Dairy McQueen @_eric_alexander Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Dairy McQueen

1 month

Imagine being the researcher tasked with observing infinite monkeys on typewriters and just as one of them is about to finish writing The Tempest, on the very last word it types banana

1

7

30

Last Seen Profiles

@_craigowen

@Mashavi007

@ifanewengland

@MalikTidwell

@Arts_Alive

@Andrehsve

@EnduiNoesi

@inupiaqpotato

@feiited

@jandakembangstw

@_I1U_

@CRPrairieHS

@vivirasuto

@jandakembangstw

@Toyark

@qunqun

@NatachaVautard

@EziomaKalu

@yuquitaz

@pencandu_senja

@UKWarAlliance

@SECA_SA

@oly_vlr

@FundJulieta

@vikramsaride143

@AntonSpisak

@TheLandomatic

@taeyongpictures

@howardcartledge

@latechuuni

@orotsukashii

@LaurettaSa12719

@HseyinOlan11093

@fviot

@YukkiMacArt

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@RepDesposito @NYCPBA @sbanypd @NYCPDDEA @lbanypd @NYPDCeremonial @RepGarbarino @NYPDPC @NYPDChiefPatrol @NYPDChiefOfDept Street gang behavior

11

93

8K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@vanillaopinions One guy can go stand in the middle of nowhere and suddenly the 200 square miles around him instantly turns red

3

14

5K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@lethalrejection Took me a whole minute to realize that’s not his finger

20

25

4K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 years

@traybim @RaxKingIsDead This is like how every time in my 20s when I got hired for a customer service job and asked to come in at X o’clock for my first shift, I would ask what time the shift ends and I would get a reply like “a good employee wouldn’t ask that on their first day.” Why is it a secret???

15

17

4K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@Universe__Lover What if I did for 24 years

4

15

4K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@tulpapilled Check the attic for memaws

6

5

3K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@CantEverDie Bros are gonna get mad and then goonergate is gonna be a thing

3

25

2K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@clairecdowns LBJ was the OG catturd

7

15

2K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

15 days

@samcahntent There was a legit wholesome moment when it starts and he looks up at her and says “Okay” that reminded me of the best qualities of my grandpa who is one of the best people I know 🥹

3

11

2K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@cal50 The minion-memes-to-giant-AI-bird-testacles pipeline

5

33

2K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@TokyoDilf Gonna use this for my upcoming telehealth appointment

1

5

2K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@inthesamedevice He could just tell people that’s how it arrived from the factory and they would believe him

0

4

2K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@latkedelrey Philly. Arguably more walkable than NY

55

13

1K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@CantEverDie Astronomy is either the end times or a fraud

6

1

1K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@guardian Welcome to the good life, Anne. The goon life. Potassium will help with the cramping.

3

8

1K

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 months

@CantEverDie Like a broken clock but the kind that’s always wrong and realized it once

1

2

838

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@Scoobydouchebag 12 wings per meal, six meals per weekend. This tracks. Dude’s just trying to make it to Monday

5

2

825

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

14 days

@leoxeloo When she comes flying into frame doing a fill I DIED Like somebody really smacked the soul into her

1

4

739

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@ben2calderon @vanillaopinions ^That's him that's the guy

0

1

724

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@ImBillRay is this from Rick and Morty

5

9

692

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@LowPolly Tucker Carlson talking about how great the grocery stores in Russia are

1

3

700

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

13 days

@jjjjjjjjojohohn I’m the model on the bottom and she’s actually doing a “got your nose” trick to my nipple

10

7

679

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

4 months

@computer_gay If I wasn’t after the first pic I am now

0

650

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

10 days

@keithedwards It’s not the pee tape we wanted but it’s the pee tape we deserve

10

30

664

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@vanillaopinions Everything was going fine til worship pastors were like “hey maybe more people would come if every song sounds like a bad U2 knockoff” and then everyone quit going

11

6

607

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@adamgluck Honestly this and throwing a cheeseburger at the wall are the only times I’ve found him relatable

3

577

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@Tbone7219 As someone who reviews a ton of police bodycam footage for my day job I just wanna say when the cop explains the field sobriety test to you, NEVER SAY “haha I couldn’t even do that sober” STOP SAYING THAT PEOPLE

4

1

576

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@BackwoodsGoku Not only do they have the best bodega sandwiches but it’s so walkable there

2

572

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@GrillPillMax Soda poop

2

5

534

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 years

@NarrXFilms @LILDOUBT1 ugh now I've gotta scroll up and take my like back

2

0

509

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 year

@MNateShyamalan They’re supposed to hate Gen X, not us

28

3

511

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 months

@imDontaye @igwnee @LightfanYuri Alright everyone settle down you’re acting like minors

1

5

496

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 months

@CantEverDie @Boogie2988 When I, a cis white man, used to play Duck Hunt on NES, the dog would laugh at me when I missed too many ducks.

1

6

484

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@RiotGrlErin I’ve never had a teacher walk in and take a dump two feet from me when I’m eating in the car

1

0

481

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@waltermasterson Why does the prostate look like it's listening to Enya

17

8

472

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@Olivianuzzi I hope MAGA starts saying this

8

463

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@ipodmacbook Are you guys going to the same bodega

Johnny Oats

@johnny_oats

2 months

How much do you spend on soda daily? Trying to understand if $250/day is abnormal?

117

10

201

0

2

457

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@midnightstrack2 @PasteMagazine Finally a “do better” tweet from someone who chose the vastly more immoral of two positions

1

444

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@limitlessjest Opussing Mr. Holland

3

0

421

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

8 years

When I was a kid I was jealous of grownups because they got to do whatever they want and now I'm jealous of kids for the same reason.

3

396

382

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 years

@SCHIZO_FREQ How is this the only time I’ve opened a lifting thread and not seen a single person critique the technique

3

1

344

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 year

@JUNlPER I’m confused because this feels like the kind of meme a leftist would make to mock the type of right winger that would make something like this to mock leftists, but that when right wingers spot it in the wild, they don’t know they’re the ones being mocked Satire is dead.

3

7

370

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

27 days

@ruffleseed “Get used to me being absent while I’m here, so it won’t make a difference when I’m gone”

1

2

375

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

13 days

@danghentschel Depending on where it’s located you might be able to

2

1

377

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

4 months

@PIGEONFANCIERS @Cutefuzzyweasel @ACABylonBee Seconding this because I like how it feels

1

0

342

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

26 days

@BenShh1 Weird Al releasing a non-parody under the name Al

1

9

338

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@HentschelDelete @danghentschel Is this your alt

0

329

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@SoxyBill @DrewSav @VergenceS If he’s gonna act like he’s bought and paid for, he might as well dress like it 🤷‍♂️

1

0

317

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@SoxyBill @DrewSav @VergenceS Lot of us who voted for him are pretty unhappy with him actually!

John Fetterman faces rebellion from Democratic voters

Some progressive Democrats have expressed concerns over a noticeable shift in Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman's policies

www.newsweek.com

4

0

307

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

10 days

@DrPhil @MrAndyNgo The shark has officially been jumped

3

1

319

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@mnolangray Florida 2: The Floriding

2

0

294

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@UsingCigarettes standing like that is better for smel

1

0

295

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@zdroberts reenactment please @NationalGuard

3

2

293

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@bestofdyingtwit “I can’t fix it so now you have to pay for it” - world’s richest man

0

7

277

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 years

@VoidAtoms @kpkboogie99 Not necessarily. The subgenre of cosmic horror, for example, exists because some people find the literal, vast, indifferent, unknowable abyss to inspire plenty of horror on its own.

9

1

265

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 years

It’s important to carefully inspect the packaging to make sure you’re getting a genuine @steak_umm product and not the knockoff brands Steak-hmmm, Steak-uhhhhwhat or Steak-…oh

25

7

265

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@wobblymami That’s where I hang my selfie stick 🥺

1

2

263

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@missshrey_ I thought I had a soul until I completely disappeared from reality while having my wisdom teeth out. Now I’m just meat and slightly less bones than before

3

4

250

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@CantEverDie I think the difference is Trump regularly did things he “can’t do” (e.g. disappearing protesters in Portland) whereas Biden regularly won’t do things he can

13

8

253

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@mediocrebale Where do we get a label maker? I need to weigh some croissants over by the spare ribs

0

245

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@Iemonsproda She walked in and asked for the 😬 emoji

3

0

243

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@tinylittlehomie @lethalrejection I’ll have to try that *scribbles in notepad “lick her throat”*

1

0

232

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

26 days

@audiohymn Convert it to a live music venue

5

0

239

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@lukeoneil47 That’s a 7-Eleven apple pie, not smokes

8

3

234

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@PeachyKneeSocks Pretty Hate Machine could absolutely be the title of a Taylor Swift album

2

4

226

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

8 months

@E_Da_Ward @TheWapplehouse Nobody who says “do you have billions of dollars at your disposal” has been to a party let alone been fun at one

0

217

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

6 days

@audragabrielle_ Skyrim version

5

41

445

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@JGirlwil @juliethardt Makes me feel like I’m trying to take a shit on the literal floor

3

0

213

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@laurenposting We all got a little funny by month two of the pandemic

1

0

210

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@hamilcarenina @latkedelrey I lived all over NYC. In Philly I can accomplish within one small block of my apartment what took me sometimes 3-4 much longer blocks in NYC. Center City Philadelphia is much more population dense than pretty much all of NYC outside of midtown and lower Manhattan.

5

2

212

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 years

@bugsmaytrix Jeff Goldblum voice: My Chemical, uh Romance

3

4

211

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 months

@TeddyK59558411 @unbecome111 Because dudes rock duh

0

212

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@pyrameadhead

0

4

207

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

26 days

@kahtrinuh Therapist: *barely listening while doodling in notepad* Sounds like everyone did the right thing

3

9

203

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

4 months

@onlineryn Ah yes the californias

0

194

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@punished_stu He thinks the L stands for loaf

3

195

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 months

@liverking @AwakenWithJP Bet your farts are wild af

4

0

187

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

7 years

@dsmrekar26 I'm guessing you also posted an Obama one of these on your GOP friends walls during the last 8 years as well? Or nah?

5

3

170

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

13 days

@pt_wade @kenklippenstein Here a bad faith there a bad faith everywhere a bad faith

1

187

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

15 days

@MarkBigornia4 @mo0nonokay This post is such an effective warning for what a lack of education looks like

1

0

186

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@KnipLs @armygir36701799 This is what happens to the brain when you hold your breath when tweeting and type really slowly

0

1

183

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

8 days

@StolenDans He was a radio host. Around that same time, Howard Dean sunk his shot at the presidency because he yelled “yeah” too loud.

5

6

216

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

11 months

@ARTofCOOP @LizRummy Critics are quick to point out that Elon’s never actually built anything, but this looks like it might have actually been built by him

1

4

170

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 years

@wcbuecker @RonFilipkowski That’s a lot better than how they would’ve treated her in the reeeally old days

3

11

161

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@fox4cid @Tbone7219 ACAB

1

0

160

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@lillybilly299 I was on a date and this is how she was eating her burrito. Rest assured I got the entire ick

7

0

157

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

3 months

@shelleddiva @BarryPierce But do you know about David Hasselhoff eating a cheeseburger off the floor while drunk

5

0

152

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@stevanzetti sniper games have gone woke

1

147

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@Shampain_Larry @thehill ¿Qué? The liberal conspiracy is.

0

148

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

12 days

If “get some Russian people to argue about your nipple” was on a scavenger hunt I’d be winning

9

8

147

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@CantEverDie I actually know Rescott Jace 78 Turnraston (we were in honors pog league together in grade school). It's his real name and he gets mad if people don't say it all when addressing him, so at least he's consistent

2

1

142

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@coffinsneeze I imploded with laughter

1

2

146

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@TheUrMillennial Therapists aren’t there to tell you what to do.

9

0

144

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@PanderShirts Take care of yourself. If you ever need anything, my pussy is in my bio.

2

134

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@NYCMayor They had to talk you out of calling it the Israel of America huh

3

0

128

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@crustelf *ties spaghetti in a knot with my tongue*

5

2

130

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@AyyStudd @leemahbo Nope my bodyguards are commission only which is why they’re always trying to start fights

4

1

126

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

2 months

@RevDocBobSac First they brought back Creed and now this

5

0

127

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@ChristnNitemare Why dump it right out when I can waste two gallons of water

0

123

Dairy McQueen

@_eric_alexander

1 month

@SomeTweeter420 See ya in about 14 hours 🫡

0

116