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Tony P. Profile
Tony P.

@Tbone7219

43,359
Followers
18,677
Following
1,297
Media
79,738
Statuses

Nashville TN
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@Tbone7219
Tony P.
21 days
How old does someone have to be before you can officially call them a fucking asshole? Please say 6
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
29 days
Sober or not if a cop ask me to recite the alphabet backwards I’ll just put myself in the back seat of their car.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
6 years
Is it fucking Maybelline or not ?
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
21 days
Boss is off today so that means I’ll be driving the forklift to the strip club at lunch
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
My wife just asked me “ Do you notice anything different about me?” Now I’m scared as fuck
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
11 months
My wife wanted Wendy’s…. I did not want Wendy’s …. So we compromised and we’re having Wendy’s.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
I have hit rockbottom, I’m watching a Hallmark movie with my wife.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
I texted my wife “what's wrong" 3 hours ago and she has yet to stop typing.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
23 days
This dude comes and visits me every morning
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
It's pronounced "vase" not "vahz" you snobbish pretentious fuck.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
Hey assholes, it’s not brain surgery….. Return your fucking grocery carts.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
My daughter joined the Navy.... I’m one proud papa
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
*has a panic attack from thinking about having a panic attack*
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 months
Remember before Amazon parents would go to Toys "R" Us and beat each other fucking senseless over the last Barbie doll …. Good Times
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
24 days
I’m sorry I flipped your kitchen table over in a mad rage when you didn’t offer any garlic bread with your lasagna.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
6 months
After 14 years we had to say goodbye to Blacky ….. she was my best friend …. It’s like losing a family member.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
Soooo many questions
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
14 days
What kind of emotional trainwreck prefers dipping their wings in blue cheese rather than ranch?
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
3 months
My wife just accused me of not listening to whatever the fuck she was just talking about.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
3 months
After a nuclear blast, this alarm clock would still be fucking beeping.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
Ex-wife contacted me because she said she needed closure. I told her if her legs had closure we might still be married.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming through out the golf course.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
11 days
My sanctuary behind my home.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
I swallowed my NyQuil with a 5 Hour energy and a latte and now my pet unicorn Steve and I are off to bake cheesecakes.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
6 years
Who in the fuck orders a medium pizza ?
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
I know Tom Hanks fucked that volleyball.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
7 days
A BIG FUCK YOU to microwaveable meals that you have to take out and stir and then put back in.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
Apparently hospitals are not the best place to start unplugging things so you can charge your iPhone.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
3 months
The most fucked up part about being an adult is dropping a shitload of money at the grocery store and still having nothing to eat.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
Went through the 10-items-or-less lane with 12 items and I've never felt so fucking alive.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
25 days
Fuck a Klondike bar .... You haven't seen what I'd do for a McDonald’s Hash Brown
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
Just spotted Clark Griswold.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
8 months
Kids these days will never know how awesome this was ….. only thing missing is the bread and mayo.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 months
Big shout out to my Aunt for the $100 gift card from Panera Bread now I can finally afford that grilled cheese and small soup I always wanted
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
My girlfriend thinks I'm at work. My boss thinks I'm home sick. These ducks think I'm fuckin' awesome because I have the bread.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to a crowded mall and find a great parking spot and sit in my car with the reverse lights on.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
I miss it when we use to argue over which is better Coke or Pepsi
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
11 days
A fucking nuclear blast couldn’t remove dried up Fruity Pebbles from a bowl.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
Elvis Presley made 30 million last year dead and I’m stuck in traffic in a Ford Focus with the gas light on and eating a $1 cheeseburger from McDonald’s
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
How to be a bouncer: 1) be an asshole. 2) stand near a door.
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Tony P.
2 years
Not to brag, but I have the most teeth at this Dollar General store.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
4 years
I'm 47 and still say "Yes Ma'am/Sir and No Ma'am/Sir" to the elderly .... It's called respect.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
19 days
I wish that package of Oreo Double Stuf cookies in the pantry would shut the fuck up.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
4 months
I already hate everyone at work tomorrow.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
7 more cassettes and I'll have finally fulfilled the terms of my Columbia House contract.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
4 months
1965~ Wow Cher looks good 1985 ~ Wow Cher looks good 1995 ~ Wow Cher looks good 2024 ~Wow Cher looks good 3035 ~ Wow Cher looks good
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
If you have never had a green phone that was mounted on the kitchen wall with long cord attached to it, then you’re way to young for us to hangout.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
It’s the annual lightning of the Christmas dicks.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
13 days
My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
4 months
How 2 beers can equal pissing every 5 minutes for the next 8 hours is fucking beyond me.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
3 years
Your microwave popcorn is going to fucking murder you.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
My girlfriend needs to start putting her cell phone and keys right next to all the things I've done wrong that she will never forget.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
4 months
Whoever designed my car where everything I drop fits perfectly down that gap between my seat and console expect for my hand is a fucking asshole.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
11 months
Don't tell me about your childhood problems ....my Saturday nights were sitting at home watching Hee Haw with my parents.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
6 months
I still cannot believe I was late for work tomorrow.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
I got drunk and threw up in the front seat of a Pontiac Fiero at a Bon Jovi concert back in 88’ .... There was no Internet, so I'm telling you guys now.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
Nothing says fuck you quite like getting a $5 Starbucks gift card from your boss.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
10 days
Teenagers these days will never know how awesome this cast was from the movie The Outsiders
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
1 month
If you use the phrase “it is what it is” please know that I hate you.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
I need a dozen copies of this to keep in my car.
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Tony P.
1 month
There’s no better feeling than getting into a freshly made bed.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
2 years
That’s the last time I wear a fucking red polo shirt to Target.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
11 months
Anyone who is “overwhelmed by all of the birthday wishes” on Facebook lives a sad, sad life.... in other depressing news I turned 51 today
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
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Tony P.
11 years
For most people when you lose your "khakis" you've lost your pants. When you're from Boston & lose your "khakis" you can't start your car.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
3 months
Went to Aldi’s for a loaf of bread and came home with a 6 piece patio set.
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Tony P.
1 month
My daughter can watch a movie in HD on her iPhone ..... I had to look at shitty pictures of fake dinosaurs on this.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
11 months
I miss this view when I woke up every morning for school.
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Tony P.
5 years
I’m 47 and yes I still get excited if something glows in the dark.
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Tony P.
10 months
An F5 tornado can flatten my house in seconds but my moms ‘70’s floor model tv would be still fucking standing.
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Tony P.
5 years
A BIG FUCK YOU to small cars that look like open parking spaces.
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Tony P.
2 years
It’s official I’m a grandfather….. her name is Atlas Shelby she weighs 7 pounds 9 ounces
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Tony P.
10 months
It saddens me that kids these days will never feel the humiliation of having their family portrait taken at a Sears.
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Tony P.
1 year
What the fuck were we thinking in the 70’s?
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Tony P.
1 month
I can feel the sadness in this photo
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Tony P.
12 days
I don’t trust anyone who bends down to pick up an ice cube rather then just kick that fucker under the fridge.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
4 years
Who the fuck orders a medium pizza?
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Tony P.
12 years
So I met this hooker who said she'd do anything for ten bucks . Guess who got his yard cut?
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
12 years
"My phone's about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call ....
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Tony P.
2 years
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez got married, in other news my cat is licking his balls.
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Tony P.
4 years
I’m 47 and yes I still get excited when I see bubbles .... fuck you.
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Tony P.
3 years
300 fucking grocery carts and I always pick the Ford Pinto model with a flat tire.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
5 years
Fuck 2019 I want to go back to 1985 when the movies and music was good and we did not sit around all day staring at a fucking phone.
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Tony P.
1 year
Wearing a fake teardrop tattoo today so no one will ask me to hold their baby.
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Tony P.
3 months
Just saw a kid outside climbing a tree in his front yard .... so there’s still hope in this world my friends
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Tony P.
11 days
f you're riding a bike in New York City it means you care about your health .... Riding one here in Tennessee it means you got a DUI.
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Tony P.
11 years
My girlfriend just accused me of not listening to whatever the fuck she was just talking about.
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Tony P.
2 years
I did coke off a Ratt cassette case in a porta potty at a Mötley Crüe concert back in 92’ we didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you now.
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@Tbone7219
Tony P.
17 days
The upside of doing cocaine, I found out my neighbors garden gnome is a good listener.
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Tony P.
3 years
My co-worker almost died today. He doesn't know it, but he did.
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Tony P.
3 months
Call me weird but the burnt edges on the Stouffer’s lasagna is the best part about the lasagna.
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Tony P.
2 years
Kids these days will never know the struggle.
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Tony P.
2 years
Remember before Google we would sit around wondering about shit.
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Tony P.
1 month
It saddens me that kids today will never know how awesome this mural really is.
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Tony P.
6 months
Is that you Clark ?
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Tony P.
10 years
What kind of emotional train wreck likes "Hamburger Helper" on Facebook
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Tony P.
11 years
Fuck 2013 .... I want to go back to 1985 when the music and movies was great and I did not stare at a fucking phone for 12 hours a day.
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Tony P.
2 years
My wife said the 2015 movie Point Break is a lot better than the 1991 Point Break ….. I’m packing her bags as we speak.
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Tony P.
24 days
My summertime snack as a kid was honeysuckles that were growing on a fence ….
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