Junior doctor & biomed grad. Muddling through life managing bipolar and severe asthma.
Previously a runner and cyclist before being struck down with long covid
I'm a foundation doctor and have bipolar. I take medication for it but I've still ended up in hospital for it. Before I became so ill I aspired to become a psychiatrist or clinical geneticist. I still have those aspirations now as my mental illness isn't a barrier to to doing so.
I’m an ER doctor. I’ve seen a therapist and have been on antidepressants. Our system considers this a red flag, instead of a positive signal that I’m taking the best care of myself possible. This needs to change.
I have nothing personal against our teams PA.
At times though I can't help but feel bitter that we qualified at the same time yet they've got their own flexi list, their own US biopsy list and will shortly be getting their own clinic whilst I'm writing IDF after IDF on the wards.
@babbymd
This is so incredibly irresponsible and something I'm having to relearn in treatment for anorexia.
No food is inherently "healthy" or "unhealthy", everything in moderation.
I think it's finally close to say it now but it looks like I'm going to have my first Christmas in 3 years with my family instead of being stuck on a psych ward!!
I'm so excited both for having a normal Christmas and being well enough to be present and take part.
@emkburke
And like autism ADHD can present differently in girls. Rather than being 'hyperactive, loud and disruptive' we tend to be more inattentive, daydreamers, distractible and can actually be quite shy.
And this is why I absolutely cannot stand Passmed's psych section. How on earth is this useful or appropriate for educating doctors? Surely they should be doing better than reinforcing harmful stereotypes?
Medics, think about what you're saying before you criticise a group of patients, even in a social setting outside work.
1) It's not ok
2) You don't know who's listening. Being a doctor doesn't make you, or those you care about, immune to ill health
1/2
@uroCESR
"their job plans include what previously would have been done by doctors"
That is exactly my point.
They get trained up to do procedures whilst we get stuck doing admin that does nothing to help our training.
When I became so depressed that I had to take a break from uni I was still so reluctant to seek help as I was worried doing so would mean that I'd be seen as unfit to be a doctor
Can we please get rid of this myth that mental illness is an automatic barrier to some career paths.
I get from a financial point of view it makes sense to train permanent member of staff rather than someone who'll rotate after 4 months but it's still hard that we don't get the same training opportunities.
Bipolar isn't constantly swinging between depressed and manic daily or weekly. Episodes can last weeks to months at a time.
But between episodes we can be stable for long periods of time. If you saw me now, unless I told you, you'd never guess I have bipolar.
#WorldBipolarDay
Again, nothing personal against them, they're a nice enough person to work with and maybe they made a smart decision becoming a PA over doing grad entry medicine.
I felt so horribly awkward last night in a group when a peer criticised a niche group of patients and was judgmental how they believed such patients live, therefore wasn't looking forward to working in that area.
They had no idea that I'm currently one of those patients.
2/2
@emkburke
And back in the day me and some of my peers with ADHD got signed off from CAMHS when we turned 18 as though all our problems were suddenly solved. I've been ok with but when a friend was struggling at uni with work he found it impossible to see anyone in adults or get meds again.
@juliaisobela
There's been so much talk asthma not being one of them. People are ending up with life threatening attacks because they struggle to afford the cost of inhalers and other asthma meds.
@emkburke
It's an actual joke. Oh, and we're also several weeks behind London so haven't even really peaked yet and now we've also got an influx tourists too.. I feel really sorry for my colleagues working at the local hospitals.
@drjanaway
Went for a run on my usual route from the hospital and don't think I've ever passed so many people. Worse still was spotting so many people having picnics and big groups hanging out on the grass.
Could have fooled me that we were in a lockdown.
Went to get dressed this morning and my previously baggy Lucy&Yak dungarees are now tight on me😭 Felt awful about it, wanted to rip them off, find something baggy and hide away. Instead I've stayed put, am trying to ride out those feelings AND I've still eaten a proper lunch💪
Just finished a 2 day online summer school and turns out my ADHD brain loved getting to do other things, like bake, at the same time and I actually think I took in more that way.
Of course there are downsides but remote courses can improve accessibility in so many ways
#NPSS
So this will be my 2nd Christmas in a row stuck on a psych ward as the patient.
It's confusing and difficult to try and get my head around my current situation.
#bipolar
@RRowanOlive
During an admission a young HCA, aspiring clinical psychologist asked to chat to me frequently. Apparently he found me "interesting" and the conversation was always felt for his benefit not mine. Loved knowing that I was just some learning to case for him.
I'm totally sick of seeing "before & after" photos on here especially from people big in MH twitter.
You don't need to have been under services or even had a diagnosis to have suffered.
It's harmful and all you're doing by sharing these is trying to validating yourself.
Back to work after 7 months off sick.
Never imagined that I'd be so ill or for so long and it's really daunting returning. Still it feels like it's finally a step in the right direction.
@poppyoa
EDS & EDS Society seem to have completely swept up and claimed zebra mascot and when it used to represent rare conditions in general. I just worry that with doing so, and with hEDS/HSD not being rare at all, means that those with actual rare types/conditions get drowned out.
My primary school told my parents that I'd struggle to stay in mainstream education and to consider a special school. ADHD wasn't so commonly diagnosed back then and I was seen as some kind of a freak for having it.
I'm now in my 20s and a qualified doctor.
#adhd
It's great and all that more lockdown restrictions are being lifted but please spare a thought for those that are still shielding. Nothing's changed for us, we're still not able to leave our homes at all and we've been told to carry on doing so until the end of June.
#shielding
@Doctor_Erin_
I feel this, I'm 70% but am off the on call rota and am not allowed to do nights at all which brings down my earnings.
I don't have a partner and when I've been off on long term sick leave I've been so embarrassed that I've had to lean on my family for financial support.
@juliaisobela
I find I can post openly on my instagram about being a doctor with an SMI, being under section and experiences from med school etc. (amongst other topics) but not so much on here.
I have way more followers on insta but there's something so public about twitter that scares me off
I'm not bipolar, I'm Sophie.
I have many attributes that make me me and one tiny part of that is that I have bipolar disorder. However having bipolar is not how I define myself and it most certainly is not my identity.
#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek
I'm finally home after what felt like a very long 3 month psych admission.
Right now I'm seriously appreciating access to proper coffee again and can't get over how quiet it is. Sorting out my life admin is currently on hold until I've finished drinking coffee though.
#bipolar
2022 began sectioned in hospital, 2021 also started off in hospital.
This year began after a couple days after discharge from ED day hospital.
I may not be where I want to be just yet however it looks like my mental health is heading in the right direction.
1 in 20 suicide attempts could be attributed to an underlying brain injury.
Interesting talk from
@CzarinaKirk
on working with and recognising brain injury
#NPSS
Back for day 2 of
#NPSS
today,
Looking forward to hearing from
@suzypuss
, her book about has had such an impact on me. I read it whilst I was on break from uni, as I was ill with depression, and it gave me hope that I could still return and work as as dr despite my illness.
@Jenny_Pewsey
This time 2 years ago instead of starting final year I was on a psych ward for the first time instead. I'm gradually getting more open but the fear sometimes stops me especially after an awful encounter with my supervising consultant on placement.
@emkburke
When I was diagnosed with ADHD in primary school my school basically told my parents that I would struggle to stay in mainstream education. Never, ever was a single positive of being neurodivergent said so I grew up despising the label and feeling like I was broken because of it.
For every 1 positive word in the British media press about Muslims there are 21 negatives.
Interesting talk from
@ahmedhankir
about islamophobia.
#NPSS
Recover for the things you used to love.
To be able to run again and love it, not because I "have" to. whilst destroying my body with injury after injury in the process due to being underweight.
Nearly 2 months later and I'm now fully back at work.
As the one who always "bounced back" it was tough underestimating how long the toll of months of isolation, mental illness and associated medications would take.
Who knew?!
#medtwitter
@uroCESR
This also completely misses my point, my point is doctors not getting the same training opportunities.
Good for PAs if they're safe to do said procedures straight out of PA school. I'm not a urologist so can't judge that one though.
@kazADHD
I was punished just for having the label. Teachers, parents, even my own had a much lower threshold for telling me off than other kids, constantly being told I was a bad child. Groaning up with the label was traumatic
💫Qualified as a doctor (finally!)
💫Coped with living in a flat, entirely on my own and not even allowed out for walks for 2 months due to shielding. Most impressively I didn't go cometely insane!
💫Made an online shielding buddy who's turned into a real life close friend 😊
@ec_blueearbooks
@jameelajamil
@thespinsterymc
@sainsburys
It's not just the being present at the birth. It's being able to meet and bond with his baby and be able to support his partner as they adapt to becoming parents together. Someone else can temporarily take over his work, no one can replace his role in their family.
@doctor_chuks
Medical secretaries.
People forget we exist and all that we do behind the scenes to keep things running. In my department we all used to get a huge amount of abuse from patients and relatives over the phone on pretty much a daily basis.
All of that on a low salary.
Honestly devastated for the young people who've ended up with A level results way off predictions.
I'm not a fan of the "I got bad results but things turned out ok for me" brigade. Those poor results were on us, these young people didn't even get that chance to prove themselves.
@laureng5783
And is it not slightly odd that he was looking up pictures in the women's swimwear section of a clothing shop's website in the first place?
@pigletish
Forgiving her.
It meant she no longer had that hold over me anymore.
She had issues which led her to acting in such way and I was just her target of the moment. It'll never be ok what she did nor will ever go away.
By holding a grudge though the person that suffers is me.
@juliaisobela
I found that in general hospital too when I've been in for asthma.
The high doses of pred plus the chaotic ward environment means that I barely sleep more than few hours (if at all) which is such a risk in bipolar. Yet still not allowed zopiclone.
"I can only give psilocybin as part of a research study. It's difficult watching someone who responded well to it in the trial relapse and being unable to give them the drug that helped them before as it's banned by the government" -
@ProfDavidNutt
#NPSS
Just seen
#EveryMindMatters
advert again.
Every mind matters, except for when you need to get treatment, therapy and support, in which case you're put on a waiting list of 6-12 months.
Been looking forward to the Ethics of Eating Disorders talk from
@DrJacintaTan
. Clinical ethics and law ended up being a surprisre favourite topic for me at medical school!
#NPSS
@aoifarecovers
Wow, that's so unprofessional. How do they not realise how utterly inappropriate this is?? Does it not cross their minds that patients can see all of this and what we may think??
#WorldBipolarDay
This was something I shared last year on Instagram after a recent hospital discharge.
I'm thankfully stable and in a much better place this year but feel that the sentiment is still valid.
Just a reminder that sharing before and after photos of just your face can still be as damaging as showing body photos.
You may be trying to claim to show how recovery made how happier but this can still perpetuate the stereotype that EDs = thin.
#EatingDisorderAwarenessWeek
Abusive relationships don't have to be romantic or familial ones.
Abusive relationships can be 'friendships' too. For all of those reasons I never saw myself as a victim and the abusive cycle continued.
If you’re in an abusive relationship or you’ve just got out of one, I promise you that it’s not you. It’s not your behaviour. It’s not your dynamic. It’s them.
I let my abuser convince me I deserved it and it stuck until I learned there were other victims.
It was never you.
@drphiliplee1
@CaraLisette
What's made me really angry is the public stockpiling medical supplies (or worse, stolen them from hospitals) whilst knowing my colleagues are treating suspected COVID cases without proper PPI because there's none available for them to use
@thegradmedic
I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked "do you really want to do medicine as a career?" when I've been unwell.
I have a few mental illnesses and surprisingly I'm not myself when seriously unwell and I change when I get well and back to my normal self.
Temporarily privatising my account and may potentially log out for a few days, trying to minimise the chances of tweeting under the influence of steroids 😅 I just don't want to alarm anyone by suddenly disappearing! X
'Healthy' people who are happily travelling to Bournemouth for day, because COVID is unlikely to affect them, don't realise how selfish it is. Our population age is one of the highest in the country, you may be fine but some locals, that you unknowingly spread it to, may not be.
@emkburke
@commaficionado
@matthaig1
I wish I knew the answer! I've also been getting a lot hate too tonight, which is a twitter first for me, and it's left me feeling so hideously anxious. Guess they're mainly people they don't see the severity of situation, hate the restrictions and are looking for an argument.
@katiessanctuary
You can't see them in the first picture but I love these little sets of cards from
@BlurtAlerts
so much I thought they deserved to be seen too!
@juliaisobela
Having had to do that twice I remember just how horrendous it felt at the time and how I desperately wished that it hadn't come to that.
A few years down the line and that time out of med school doesn't feel significant in the slightest, even as grad entry student. x
@DrJacintaTan
@AlkaSashin
@rcpsych
I hate, hate, hate the terms "service user" and "client". Please call me a patient, the same as other medical specialties do
@SonjaCowling
If someone sustained severe, life altering physical injuries following assault they still a physical disability, regardless of what caused it.
Whether we pathologise it or not it seems there's a psychological "survivor syndrome" associated following trauma (ie."eupd"/"cPTSD")
Feeling proud that I've been completely off antidepressants for a few weeks now and am feeling fine.
Starting off on the max doses of venlafaxine & mirtazapine it was daunting, esp after only hearing withdrawal horror stories. Can't say it was fun but was definitely manageable
@CaraLisette
I'm a doctor under multiple specialties, some of which I've worked in. I'd like to hope that none of them and especially not my GP think that I'd know how to fix myself.
We can all still need help from others trained to do the same job that we do.
@roisinamcc
I get it the other way round, if I tell a consultant that I want to go into their specialty I worry that they'll turn around and say, "please don't"
Got my first tezepelumab injection today 🎉 After waiting for a few years for a biological drug for my asthma that I qualified for it's exciting that one has finally come along. Let's hope it helps!
#asthma
#SevereAsthama
@RoseAnnieFlo
I think too many clinicians are oblivious that breaking confidentiality isn't just revealing the patient's name. If someone can identify themselves from what's been said confidentiality has been broken, wherever used.
I wish more people realised this, especially students.
@PhilipBagLowe
@emkburke
@RespectIsVital
Is that Alnwick? If so the populations a lot less dense up there and it's a little more out of the way. Whereas Bournemouth is the nearest sandy beach and easily accessible from places in London, Hampshire and other big towns in the home counties.