Johnny Biscuits™️ @JohnWThurston Twitter profile

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 days

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

Some of these recipes would be a lot easier if I wasn’t terrified of my mandoline slicer.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Dear Number of Servings Per Container, Go f*ck yourself.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

If you would, please join me in wishing this one a happy sixteenth birthday.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

How is cilantro controversial? It is amazing.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

I enjoyed #StarWars as a young lad. Apparently. Still get this look whenever @HamillHimself likes one of my tweets. Nice hat kid.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Slice of cheddar cheese on your apple pie. Yes or no?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

My 11 year old just looked at me and said “You wanna go, bro?” He could use your thoughts and prayers.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Biscuits are ready folks.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Only about a million followers shy of a million. So close I can smell it.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

11 months

@MichaelWarbur17 @morgfair

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

6 years

@Nick_Offerman This applies to twitter AND carpentry.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

1 year

Daniel has it figured out.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Oh my god.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

5 months

@theliamnissan How do these people operate doorknobs?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear cool hats. You were a beacon in this stormy world @TG22110 .

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@RexChapman @tonyserrata This will be replayed at every suppression hearing where she has to defend her stop of a car or person. Bye bye credibility.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@JohnFugelsang The only way to get republicans behind gun control is when they get frightened.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

I won’t speak for any deity, but this is probably correct.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Once again, oh my god.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Do you talk about your profession on Twitter?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Don’t follow me just for the follow back. Follow me because of food pics and I’m funny as heck.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

I had a solid day, but this badass lawyer lady beside me created 28 Americans today. She helped those well-deserving souls fulfill their dreams of becoming American citizens. She’s my hero. #ImmigrationMatters

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@TG22110 This actually happened to me in Central Park.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@ememess @kayleighmcenany Once again...

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@TheRickWilson The truth hurts.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

1 year

When the worlds of @TG22110 and @Julius_Kim collide.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

Incompetence cannot recognize itself.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

I am starting to suspect the dog lady sold me a parrot.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Well this little bugger (old pic-she’s 16 now) decided emergency surgery would be fun this weekend. We’ll take some positive vibes if you’ve any to spare.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

A toast to our amazing friend @TG22110 . #ThankYouTG

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

This is freaking me out.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

To be generous with one’s time and knowledge, essentially to a stranger, with no expectation of reward is a rare thing in this world. Thankfully it is not lost. Thank you @TG22110 .

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@pattonoswalt Besides...

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Boy did this one trigger the trolls.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Froot Loops breakfast pizza. Yes or no?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

6 years

@SarahKSilverman I dropped my powdered donut, Judgy McJudgeface.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

5 months

For your reference.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@pattonoswalt @DollyParton @billboard Dolly accidentally followed me for like 4 seconds once. That’s going on my tombstone.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

I geek out on this stuff.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

I need 101 of these.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Do you have a favorite painting? This is mine.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

6 years

@HamillHimself I’ll see your touching video and raise you this:

Simran Jeet Singh

@simran

6 years

These black brothers saw a woman paying for gas with pennies and gave her money from their pockets. They had no idea that her husband had just died and she was struggling. This is what loving your neighbor looks like. More of this please!✌🏾❤️

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 months

@notcapnamerica I used to do some divorce work. Had plenty of dads fight for custody just so they didn’t have to pay child support OR just to use it as leverage over mom. Never saw a mom do that.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Boy would @TG22110 have enjoyed today. For millions of reasons. #ThankYouTG

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@fsjenner I will 100% look into this. People helping people. See folks, this is why @algore invented the internet.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

I know it’s late, but the burnt ends are done y’all.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

@TG22110 Some of us are less creative.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

As a former defense attorney, I cannot tell you how much I love this tweet.

mariana Z

@mariana057

4 months

It’s only a murder of crows if there’s probable caws.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Today I’m sad. But I will always smile when I think of you, because you brought joy to me and many others. We all know this is what you want as your legacy. #ThankYouTG

TG ☕️

@TG22110

4 months

@nikki_nova I just want to tweet when I’m here, which has been a bit less lately because….life. The kind people on this platform have given me a voice I didn’t look for, nor deserved, but I’ve been trying to make the best of it, and hopefully, I’m doing this SM thing right.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Candied bacon is ready.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@TG22110 And a legit sense of humor.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

Once bought a used car at an estate sale. It wasn’t titled correctly. It took a couple of weeks, several gov’t forms, countless signatures, bunch of trips to the DMV, but we eventually got it licensed and legal. I can buy a gun in about 20 minutes.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@patriottakes

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@HamillHimself I love this pic.

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@JohnWThurston

3 years

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@JohnWThurston

6 years

@HamillHimself

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

5 months

@KeneAkers When will these folks learn that life doesn’t come with an eraser?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

5 months

@SIfill_ @sadgirlcassi Everyone in Texas needs to remember that this Supreme Court is elected. Grab them by the ballot box.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Mornin folks.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

One of my daughters saw a photo of me as a kid and asked how I managed to “land mom”. How was your weekend?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

1 year

Incoming boop.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@pattonoswalt @DollyParton @billboard BTW if anyone here hasn’t watched Best Little Whorehouse in Texas you’re doing yourself a massive disservice. Ms. Parton singing I Will Always Love You is achingly beautiful.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

@DanRather Can we add in this PSA?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

Now more than ever folks. #ThankYouTG

TG ☕️

@TG22110

5 months

It doesn’t matter how old we get…. It doesn’t matter how miserable the world around us may seem…. Everybody just wants to find a reason to still smile, to laugh for even just moment. Laughter will always be the best medicine for the soul.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

I love it when MAGA gets triggered too.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

I’ve had drinks with Tucker’s security detail from his Iraq trip in 2004. He is a massive, massive coward.

Kate 🪬🤍🇺🇸

@ImSpeaking13

3 years

I’d pay to see Tucker Carlson try to fight any female military member.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

I worry, and I worry, and I worry. Then I hear the words of @TheAmandaGorman and I know we’re gonna be ok.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

My eldest (19) has asthma and now Covid. Symptoms are thankfully mild as we didn’t raise a knucklehead so she’s vaccinated and boosted. #VaccinesWork

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 months

Throwback to the time my brother in law and I ordered this at Sarge’s Deli in New York City. And a Diet Coke.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

My kiddo is at her first prom.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Anyone else wonder what the last year would have been like if the nice lady with the emails had been in charge?

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Oh yeah, did a trifle for dessert.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 months

If MAGA hates it, it’s probably good for humanity.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

@Logically_JC This is a good one too.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 months

When you see it, retweet it.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 months

God I’d love to sit on that jury. Aaron Rodgers is clearly freebasing ivermectin now. What a clown.

Jimmy Kimmel

@jimmykimmel

4 months

Dear Aasshole: for the record, I’ve not met, flown with, visited, or had any contact whatsoever with Epstein, nor will you find my name on any “list” other than the clearly-phony nonsense that soft-brained wackos like yourself can’t seem to distinguish from reality. Your reckless…

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

4 years

@curlycomedy @MrJonCryer

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@JohnWThurston

3 years

Dinner is served.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Good morning everyone, especially @TankSchottle . Hope you all have an amazing day.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Beauty is only skin deep, but funny is to the bone.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

We have bigger problems than a “border crisis”.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, I will not rest until @mtgreenee is out of office.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@BioAnnie2 @HamillHimself Yes she did.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

Time to send in the team that knows how to handle the Ruskies.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the Bacon Cheddar Sage #TwitterBiscuits .

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Dig the mural downtown. #RBG

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Holy cow. I owe some follow backs. Welcome to the circus folks.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Yes this is a real thing people.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

5 years

@mollypriddy @AndyRichter It took me two hours and stops at three different government desks the other day, just to register my new car. I could buy a gun in about ten minutes. We’ve got our priorities messed up.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

My 11 year old just ran in the house, frantically grabbed his sister’s car keys, and sprinted out the door. I should probably run after him, but I’m kind of curious to see where this goes.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Senator Al Franken resigned over much less. I doubt Crüz is considering this option at all. Decency seems to always fall on one side of the aisle, doesn’t it?

Scott Dworkin

@funder

3 years

Ted Cruz 1. Fled while state in crisis 2. During a pandemic 3. To Mexico 4. For a vacation 5. At the Ritz Carlton 6. Lied about itinerary 7. Blamed his daughters Must resign.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 months

If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth. #freeliamnissan

Rick Lenzie

@RickLenzie

3 months

Elon is just mad that Liam Nissan sold more cars than him. #freeliamnissan

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

3 years

Old Fashioned with a view

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

Join me, if you’d be so kind, in wishing my amazing wife a Happy Birthday.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

@IAmJohnAles The organization I work for helps foster kiddos in a handful of states. Thousands of children in this country that need love and a family are ignored by conservatives. It isn’t about the children, it’s about control.

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Johnny Biscuits™️

@JohnWThurston

2 years

Guess who made pickles today? Hint: rhymes with Lonny Triscuits.