molly priddy @mollypriddy Twitter profile

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

11 months

thar she blows

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Last Seen Profiles

@needyhenry

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@_Chugege_

@TaniaGRM

@N81UBPJRI6HK3qj

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@TheRealLosMack

@frieflat

@MicRum

@luvari555

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@9Lana2

@SalamVeterinary

@mi_ch_ito

@HS2ltd

@TheStrokeAssoc

@gracious_wood

@azulaswagmaster

@SniperShake

@Ghulamq66701154

@zesty_liberal

@sovadesign

@winter09336187

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@grogus_dad

@semuhi

@SummitSportsIN

@dailywosito

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@MarkDaviesUK

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@_MorrTex

@TashB2205

@derekkgraz

@JackDifilippo

molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

im sorry my tweet about me didn’t take your entire life’s context into consideration

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

approaching the 7-year anniversary of putting my stem cells in my dad’s bones and growing my bone marrow there thus killing his cancer and giving me years of “he’s a lesbian in his bones” jokes

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

can’t wait to put “fully vaccinated” on my dating profiles like an adoptable dog

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

*am 33 years old, sees my fifth-grade teacher* me: "Oh man, hi Mrs. Smith!" Mrs. Smith: "hi! you know you can call me Anne now, we're both adults!" me: "hahah absolutely not, have a nice summer though, great to see you, Mrs. Smith!"

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

we gave morning people way too much power

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

fellas is it gay to not die

New York Post

@nypost

4 years

Men less likely to wear face masks because they're 'not cool' and 'a sign of weakness'

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

your 30s are for unlearning all the conformity you picked up in your teens and 20s and getting back to the weirdo you were as a kid.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

ironically, i WAS doing well, and then your email found me.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

how my pandemic how my pandemic walks started walks are going

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

1 year

“your whole generation got participation trophies and it shows” we weren’t giving the trophies to ourselves, we were children?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

you know who else didn't do a great job assimilating? anyone flying the confederate flag in the united states of america.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

hahaha just catching up on the "i pay $495 a year for libraries so amazon should just take over" guy and well pal i've been paying half my paycheck to be at war for two decades so we're keeping the libraries, get a life

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

is forced birth going to be free or will it still cost the forced mom tens of thousands of dollars

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

7 years

may your day be as gentle and calm as this tiny crab eating a cherry

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

fleetwood mac should get an emmy and an oscar for how “the chain” makes every scene it’s in so much better

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

hell yeah im WRITING W R I am not writing T I N G

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

father forgive you for this is hilarious

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

hey dude candidates, if your wife is your "better half" why isn't she running instead of you, i don't want to worse half in charge

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

SHE IS NOT A THREAT TO THE PUBLIC

Columbus Zoo

@ColumbusZoo

4 years

A red panda is missing from her habitat at the Zoo. She is not a threat to the public. If anyone near the Zoo sees a small red mammal with a long, fluffy striped tail, please contact the Columbus Zoo immediately at Security Dispatch: 614-582-1844.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

not tipping a server to make a statement about how restaurants should be paying their employees is like punching a fifth-grader because you don't like how public education is funded

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

the pandemic rendered useless a whole level of management whose entire job was to physically monitor the employees and the bosses are MAD

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

when do the house hunters kill the house

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

the exits

Educated Savage 😈

@SaWdAKiNg

5 years

Ladies, what’s the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

oh NOW you use 'lie' in a headline

The Washington Post

@washingtonpost

5 years

The big cow is a lie.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

deleted my dating apps to find love the old-fashioned way (giving up)

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

of course vanessa carlton is bi, no one’s walking a thousand miles for a man

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

don’t worry, the children are still learning the ancient runes

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

BUT ACCESS TO PLANES GOT A LOT HARDER

Media Matters

@mmfa

5 years

Fox Nation hosts slam gun safety laws: We didn’t “get rid of planes” after 9/11

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

let's be real: if making up sex assault got you rich and famous, men would have claimed it for themselves

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

"i made a product that nobody likes, is this fascism?"

The Hollywood Reporter

@THR

6 years

#Insatiable Backlash Borders on Censorship, Creator Says

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

4yo neighbor is thrilled to learn i walk the same dog every day “this looks like this same dog from last time!” “it is!” “DAD ITS THE SAME DOG AS LAST TIME”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

now THIS is a lede.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 months

@nbcwashington how are you still blaming this on us

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

my sister saw a neat cat near her yard

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

imagine if grocery shopping was like health care and you went home with a loaf of bread and gallon of milk that had no price tags and the grocery store then sends you a bill a few months later for $279

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

i didn’t know sweatpants would play such a big role in our dystopia. i assumed there would be some sweatpants in the apocalypse, of course. but not this much.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred thin mints

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

“she didn’t WANT the power, it was THRUST UPON her. but she also DIDNT HAVE any power, she was TRAPPED! but she was also a GIRL BOSS who NEVER WANTED this so she kept the role for 70 years!!”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

it will forever be incomprehensible to me how society convinced anyone that women over 30 are no longer attractive because oh my god women over 30 are every.thing.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

if you put "if you don't like it, make your own art" in the oven at 375 for about 25 minutes, it becomes "why is all the art about queer people"

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

straight cis dudes at my table at the brewery re: a gay couple dude 1, monotone: that couple with their puppy, they’re cute dude 2, takes a sip, monotone: super cute both: *take drink*

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

white guys don't like to be called "white guys" because their identities have never been used as a pejorative before unlike literally everyone else

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

wait wait wait i got one it’s super gross

BuzzFeed News

@BuzzFeedNews

3 years

What is the most disgusting thing your rich pals have done during the pandemic? We want to hear about surprising displays of wealth that you’ve personally seen that have made you lose the last remaining scraps of your pandemic patience 👇

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

✨✨maybe she’s born with it — maybe it’s a learned trauma response that helped her survive at one point but she has trouble turning it off now that she is safe✨✨

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

a black mirror episode where everything goes right and the viewers get increasingly paranoid and upset but nothing is actually wrong and the credits roll on a lovely day

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

1 year

“we gave you participation trophies, aren’t you embarrassed?????” what?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

“you know you’re a lesbian in your bones now dad” “well good thing your mother is a woman”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

pullout method rebrand

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

them not being functional after 8:30 pm is ok but me not being functional before 8:30 am is not, somehow.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

it's wild that people treat congresspeople like they're untouchable celebrities, not our employees who should be terrified of our collective rage

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

1 year

“we’re defensive because you were raised with a sense of self-worth that we didn’t get, and it makes us feel like you think you’re better than us, even though all you’re doing is trying to survive our mistakes and economic gluttony” there we go.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

imagine thinking "i cannot be trusted to be alone in a room with a woman because i'm a man, but i can be trusted with an entire state because i'm a man" is a cogent argument

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

TASK AVOIDED FOR WEEKS COMPLETED IN 6 MINUTES Woman, initially thrilled, realizes how much time she wasted fretting about it, stares into space

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

i hate that yet another woman has to talk about how her body was violated by a powerful man just so everyone can harrumph and debate her humanity and then nothing else happens. i hate hate hate hate hate it. i hate it.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

only thing i have to say about hot priests is when i was a kid our church got a new young priest and the moms called him Father Whatawaste

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

Moby: Dick

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

it’s neat that you like to be up at 5 am every day and drink your coffee and have me time in the quiet before the world wakes up but that doesn’t make you anymore virtuous than those of us who do that at night.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

one of the funniest things tv and movies do in flashbacks is give the child version of an adult character the same haircut that the adult character currently has

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

super disappointed in @TheCut . where are the thousands of articles focusing on each high school girl who’s had her life ruined because her names ended up on a list made by boys?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

lol we all know "religious liberty" means "don't be mean to christians while they're being mean to you"

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

@CSPDPIO “we gassed people and now they’re wearing gas masks” wow you have the whole detective department help you with that one?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

it’s weird that people can’t seem to understand that the brain is part of the body, and mental health is part of overall healthcare; it’s like they think feelings exist…outside of our bodies?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

which came first, the ponytail or the poly married guy? trick question: his lovers, because he’s a feminist

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

@AgnesCallard why let them collect it all in the first place, then?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

lol they expect one movie to capture all of the asian experience when we have at least three movies describing the "disaffected white guy falling in love with a robot's disembodied female voice" experience

The Washington Post

@washingtonpost

6 years

"Crazy Rich Asians" has drawn praise for its all-Asian cast and universal themes, but some say the movie fails to capture the diversity of the Asian experience

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

walgreens cashier bill: “my soulmate had your name.” me: “oh yeah?” bill, wistfully: “yeah she was a german shepherd”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

oh weird so people burning things they had *already purchased* didn't affect nike's bottom line like they said it would?

MarketWatch

@MarketWatch

6 years

Nike’s online sales jumped 31% after the company unveiled its Kaepernick campaign

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

dang, ursula le guin was Fed Up with all your war metaphors

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

the butch urge to say “it’s not heavy it’s just awkward”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

1 year

@PopBase but what about his bugattis he has bugattis

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

ah yes, the state's rights guys from alabama would like to *squints* nullify the votes from democrats in minnesota

Alabama Republicans approve resolution calling for Omar to be expelled from Congress

Alabama’s Republican Party is urging the state’s congressional delegation to begin the process of expelling freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) from Congress.The state GOP supported a resolution cal…

thehill.com

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

how do you think the guys who feel tricked by women wearing makeup are gonna feel when they find out the joker doesn’t naturally look like that

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

i've been afraid of christians since i was young, and people are always like, "well those aren't real christians" and it's like, yeah they are! you have to accept that your religion is used thusly!

ACLU

@ACLU

5 years

BREAKING: The Department of Labor just proposed a rule that aims to let government contractors fire workers who are LGBTQ, or who are pregnant and unmarried, based on the employers’ religious views. This is taxpayer-funded discrimination in the name of religion. Period.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

7 days

stop shoving your lifestyle down our throats

The College Fix

@CollegeFix

9 days

Harrison Butker chokes up while discussing his wife, encouraging Benedictine College female grads to embrace motherhood.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

some of you don’t spend 30 percent of your life fantasizing about leaving it all to become a shepherd in the south of france and it really shows

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

waiter: yes? me: id like to return this *hands him 2018* waiter: but ma’am there’s barely any left here me: i didn’t like it

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

if your lawn furniture were steak

Geology Tweets

@GeologyTime

3 years

What a cool Rose quartz dining table area! Could you imagine this in your own backyard?! 💕💕💕 . . Photo Credit Rockmystic #minerals #minerals #backyardgoals

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

learning that we call it horseradish bc in german it was meerrettich (sea radish bc they grew by the sea) and the english mispronounced it as “mareradish” and then we gender-neutraled it to horseradish; i assumed it just meant “wow that’s a big kinda radish, big as a horse”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

also i like that my tweet implies i did this myself like some body farmer but i did not, thank you doctors and science

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

good man: hasn't raped anyone good woman: hasn't had sex with TOO many guys, is pretty but in that wholesome way you'd want to meet your mom, wants to bear your children but not for a years slow down, is independently wealthy but doesn't work, has a PhD but isn't braggy

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

1 year

@CarverEmily call me old fashioned, but if your kid is a whole different person away from you then you actually don’t know your child nor do they feel comfortable being themselves with you bye

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

wild to me that it took 3.5 years for a journalist to ask trump follow-up questions on tv

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

whatever you think about the merits of a sex strike should pale in comparison to the joy of all these men informing the internet they are bad at sex

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

good afternoon only to the walgreens cashier who looked at my name and said, “molly. my nemesis is named molly.” without a smile or an explanation.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

making the same expressions as my dog when we are stopped at stoplights: a monday

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

no no no, see, these are my work sweatpants. i changed out of my sleeping sweatspants, and will put on my going-out sweats later for a grocery run.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

@asymmetricinfo @NYCdisinterest @JillFilipovic “only” jesus christ

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

it's wild to me that so many men think they are emotionless and rational

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

so much of love is finding someone who can calm you down without pissing you off further

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

and if they can’t pay? do they go to debtor’s prison? do they have the “opportunity” to work off their sin at a farm or laundry, perhaps?

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

and fuck off i beat you, cancer.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

finally time to move to that sleepy seaside town where i help private investigations when i’m not running a donut shop

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

5 years

“are you a man or a woman i can’t tell” idk bud whichever one you are not sexually attracted to

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

i need a lesbian greeting card that says “saw the moon, thought of you.” it’s romantic or not, that’s up to you and the lesbian you’re sending it to. and think of all the other applicable audiences: witches. werewolves. moon scientists. crystals.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

week two at my job and i’ve already accidentally disconnected my wireless headphones and had a coworker ask “was that party in the usa”

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

who is she

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

4 years

“i won’t wear a mask proven to be effective during a pandemic because it makes me feel like less of a man” is a good example of what we mean when we say toxic masculinity is bad for everyone, including men

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

2 years

experiencing a roomba for the first time and its unassuming adorableness is softening my opinion on robots. just a lil guy doin a lil job with some lil brushes.

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

6 years

i'll never get over michael bublé (NOT the purveyor of fine seltzer, no) changing the pronouns and words of 'santa baby' to 'santa buddy' SING THE ORIGINAL OR DON'T COVER IT, YOU COWARD

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molly priddy

@mollypriddy

3 years

🧠: i’m sad and tired and anxious is it all my fault ❤️: i mean! the pandemic, the coup, the violence, you’re socially and physically isolated, haven’t seen your fam in a year, you have depression and anxiety issues... 🧠: yep my fault, i am bad and alone in this suffering

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