itsnotreal (0/58,642) @_its_not_real_ Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

I hate being called "dad" or "cat dad" at the vet. Please stop. My cat is a cool dude. He is not my son. I am not his father. He is an animal.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@Duderichy can someone teach these people to be alcoholics or something

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

>make sure your arrive by 9:45 >arrive at 9:40 >still waiting at 10:25 >we don't know when we'll take you back I hate doctors so much it's unbelievable.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

@mornings0da @ChrisExpTheNews The amount of elaborate story telling on display here just to justify using anal beads is sickening.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

Can anyone that wears deodorant with aluminum in it verify

Shannen Michaela

@ShannenPill

4 months

We have been potty training our newborn since he was 10 days old We live in a society that literally teaches children to poo themselves, and then after 2+ years we have to try and break the habit I haven’t had to clean a dirty diaper in weeks, but Big Nappy doesn’t want you to…

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@caesararum Haha hell yeah

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

I've always hated this term but it's an extra gut punch at this point in my life

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

I absolutely must know. That stupid video with the gorrila in the background while the kids throw the ball around, does that replicate? My gut says no.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

8 months

This intern just increased the number of diagnosable schizophrenics in the US by a measurable degree. Q Amon is going to go absolutely nuts.

President Biden

@POTUS

8 months

I'm laser-focused on the recovery and rebuilding efforts on Maui. I’ve directed my team to do everything we can – for as long as it takes – to help Maui, ensuring the community has everything we can offer as it heals, rebuilds, and recovers.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

Dune 2 pre-sales are going absolutely bonkers. It's going to make bank. 3rd movie on lock. It'll ride the hype of 1 and 2, and also make bank. This means we will get a 4th no matter what. People will hate it. Doesn't matter. It's too late.

Kendric Tonn

@kendrictonn

2 years

I would also like to remind everyone that we must turn out massively for this movie, so that we can eventually get a movie where a giant CG worm lectures Jason Momoa on political philosophy for three or four hours 🙏

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

Nick St. Pierre

@nickfloats

6 months

Ok the motion brush is sick

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

This is how stupid zero percent interest rates have made the modern CEO. >CEO of Ford has a YouTube channel with 502 subscribers >does audio only podcasts with Sydney Sweeney >all of his podcasts have absolutely trash tier engagement

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

There is a more interesting meta discussion here with Cuban continually proven wrong in regards how companies are being run. Few people are out here calling current executives and management garbage unless they're a group interested in taking a pound of flesh for their own.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

14 days

@Rationalbot "tell them it is done now or wait until dead line" You could do it at the half way point too. It's more believable, gives you some slack, but also doesn't set expectations too high.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

Wikipedia page on purity spirals.... Hmmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

You will never tweet this good.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

You really do not want to. "So this device has been out in the west Texas heat since 1993. It has no TCP/IP connection, we had to put a serial to ethernet terminal server out there. Suddenly it isn't working and we have 20% of the company's gas flowing through it. Go."

a 啊

@3ameam

2 months

@yacineMTB imagine if there was a way to just join incidents and help out in your spare time. I'd 100% do this lmao

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

There have been a lot of stories like this lately, for all levels of education. My sister has been a public school teacher for about a decade, my mother has been for >2 decades. I haven't asked my mom yet, but my sister:

Garett Jones

@GarettJones

3 months

"Now students are intimidated by anything over 10 pages... "Considerable class time is taken up simply establishing what happened in a story or the basic steps of an argument—skills I used to be able to take for granted."

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

16 days

@Duderichy I tried their free 30 days or whatever (because I'm disciplined enough to cancel before charge) and it was incredibly pointless. It almost took longer because their tech is so bad

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@rudyslowstroke You got it

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

Imagine bringing Caesar back from the dead and telling him he is the mascot for the current world hegemony's 3rd largest pizza chain

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

@seconds_0 Womp Womp

OpenAI

@OpenAI

3 months

We’ll be taking several important safety steps ahead of making Sora available in OpenAI’s products. We are working with red teamers — domain experts in areas like misinformation, hateful content, and bias — who are adversarially testing the model.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@ANightAtRosies @DonnelVillager How does this make you feel:

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@godofbrainrot @ANightAtRosies @DonnelVillager So was this

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

7 months

Because the original tweet is phrased wrong, allow me to restate: Female demand for domination outstrips current supply of men they want to be dominated by.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@plantfriends_ My dad thought I was smart but no way he thought I was cool

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

If your boss doesn't get worked up over two days of work not being done your boss sucks, your job is fake, or both. Your employment will not weather the storm.

DO NOT FOLLOW ME

@nogodbutarceus

3 months

Why is this dude getting so worked up over 2 business days?

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

7 months

There are several failure modes for men and they happen at different stages of life that I have observed. These may not be unique to men though. Examples: Ages 18->23: Can't transition into adult Ages 38->50: Culmination of long running problems manifest-midlife crisis/addiction

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

As @RuxandraTeslo pointed out, the conservative vibe is "ick" and cruel. Many replies mocking this woman. Perhaps take a cue from the leftist playbook and denigrate the institutions that led her here, that you already hate, instead of her.

🇺🇸Travis Media Group🇺🇸

@TM1Politics

3 months

2 degrees and she can’t get an entry level minimum wage job in NYC

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@LeeAnnePalascat I was still polite, much unlike you right now. Do you talk to people like this normally, LeeAnne? Are you being polite right now?

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

December 28 - Customer reports they aren't receiving data for a device anymore. After digging through several logs I discover the IP address was changed on Dec 19th, by my boss, without updating all records, "I didn't know it needed updated there."

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

15 days

@webdevMason So the solution is to let some kids drag their balls on another kids face and not have evidence of the crime this time? Alright.* *generally in favor of phone bans in school or whatever but it's a field trip

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

"I wonder if there is anyway I can get out of going to my wife's dumb work Christmas party this year. Just need to convince her."

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

What is your favorite non-standard measure of declining social capital? I think this one is mine.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

idk how they keep getting more racist than anyone I ever met in rural oklahoma, its incredible

Tablo

@TabloLs

3 months

@SwannMarcus89 It gets better

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

"how do you want to handle this?" "termination to be honest" "all you can do at this time is a formal verbal warning. Plus you'd have to handle their work load and train and back fill" "*gesturing at audit log on screen* well I don't think we'd miss their output"

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

aaaaaa I just pulled the logs over the two days: Direct A - Worked 3 hours Direct B - Worked 19 hours (we work 9 hour days, he was on call, had one extra hour thanks to on call) Direct C - Worked 3 hours

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

HR has determined that this is not even worthy of an official verbal warning. lol.

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

"how do you want to handle this?" "termination to be honest" "all you can do at this time is a formal verbal warning. Plus you'd have to handle their work load and train and back fill" "*gesturing at audit log on screen* well I don't think we'd miss their output"

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@arctanno Me or them (or both)

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@GOde364 @godofbrainrot @ANightAtRosies @DonnelVillager idk you seem pretty mad about it lmao it also feels me with the emotion of laughter but what do I know about art, you keep on gate keeping buddy, you're the true art definer

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@Nexuist 2024, I am forgotten.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

I read about this in high school so was "inoculated" against it when they tried to pull this in psych 101 in college so I don't know if I'd have fallen for it otherwise.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@mgm1229_missa @DonnelVillager How does this make you feel

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

7 months

Delphi Murders happened in 2017 in Delphi Indiana. Two girls got killed in the middle of the day while on a hike. The first twist was that they were on snapchat and managed to get their killer briefly in the shot and his voice commanding them to go "down the trail".

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

7 months

The Delphi Murder case just got **really** weird.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

Wait until you see how well other surgical interventions replicate.

Vinay Prasad MD MPH

@VPrasadMDMPH

1 month

It's sad to many in silicon valley seduced by scam treatments like this.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

8 months

This would still only be the second worst thing that happened when I asked a woman out.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@__hand_banana @growing_daniel Ozempic can fix that too!

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

If I were the CEO of Ford and had a podcast with one of the top actresses and it had less than 3k views I'd consider ritual suicide. His salary is 26 million dollars. You can't throw a 100 dollars in ads out there to get it above 10k or something bro?

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

You should run employee directory profile pictures through OpenCV from day 1, repeat once a month. When the average attractiveness of your coworkers climbs 2 whole points on the 1-10 scale, from the starting amount, it is imperative that you begin looking for new employment.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

24 days

Cool, they did it again.

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

I am desperately trying to find any rational reason for my entire team ignoring a direct message from my boss to them while I was on PTO, for 1.5 business days, until I logged in while on PTO and asked if they were going to respond.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

I have been told I look like Matt Damon, so I decided to test it. Four years ago he visited a steak house that I also ate at with some frequency (was related to his film, Stillwater). I took the picture and sent it to my mom. She said I looked like I gained some weight.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

Direct A and C just didn't work for two days. I am absolving myself of bad management practices as the source of the problem. I am probably just going to absolve them of employment.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

My boss has decided the solution to our problem is to have consistency between two separate databases

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

27 days

Have you read Theft of Fire?

Cristine Rice

@PstafarianPrice

27 days

Do men realize the psychic damage they've unleashed. Every woman on Twitter is over-analyzing these, trying to figure out if they pattern match this woman, stressing over whether that's good or bad

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

Sitting here and receive a call from an unknown number. Have to answer because of work, "hello this is special agent redacted. Is this Mr.redacted" "yes" "I'm calling because one of your former directs is trying to get security clearance and we'd like to do an interview"

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

aaaaaa I just pulled the logs over the two days: Direct A - Worked 3 hours Direct B - Worked 19 hours (we work 9 hour days, he was on call, had one extra hour thanks to on call) Direct C - Worked 3 hours

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

I am desperately trying to find any rational reason for my entire team ignoring a direct message from my boss to them while I was on PTO, for 1.5 business days, until I logged in while on PTO and asked if they were going to respond.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@kobedryman You run the risk of a cantankerous doctor actually being on time and then refusing to see you. I paid 2900 dollars for this appointment a month ago, I was not interested in rolling the dice and testing my luck.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

I am desperately trying to find any rational reason for my entire team ignoring a direct message from my boss to them while I was on PTO, for 1.5 business days, until I logged in while on PTO and asked if they were going to respond.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@acidshill Because management is retarded and also funding dried up as investment shifted to green energy/tech sector/ESG/etc.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@squirrelspcsuit One of my directs is a big "dog dad" and his dog and his gf's dog fight all time and it's a huge source of contention in their relationship that I know about it without ever hanging outside of work.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@calibercastle @DonnelVillager sorry for harming you with cognitive dissonance

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

Yc backed senior position for 100-160? Yikes. The market really is bad.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

Based.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@___frye There is a book by Orson Scott Card about some people going back in time to give native Americans the tech to fly and defeat Christopher Columbus

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

16 days

It doesn't matter what you get on the eye test as long as you get this one right

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

While it is fun, funny, and perhaps even morally good to dunk on Charlotte Cowles, finance columnist, for losing 50k to a phone scam I would like to steelman what happened to her and give it a name: The Popup Shop Protection Racket

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

The stories my elderly grandfather is telling me about the nonstop telemarketers and scammers targeting him are going to make me wage jihad.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@calibercastle @DonnelVillager Ok then

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

Bay Area residents, ghost kitchens are not actually staffed by the undead.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

@Duderichy I like your optimism in the idea of a literate electorate.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

@dumbreepicheep Ignoring all the other completely valid reasons that you're against this that I agree with, these people forget the precedent this would set on top of it all. Because the next thing is, "why are we waiting until they're dead? They don't need X at the age of 80."

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

This isn't normal, this is insane. I'm going to immigration poast this weekend. I've been pro to neutral on immigration since I've had political opinions, even when I was otherwise use parroting the neocon views of my father as a young boy.

Eric Abbenante

@EricAbbenante

3 months

Kelly Wong is the first noncitizen to be appointed to San Fransisco's Elections Commission Here is her victory speech:

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

Fuck off. He still texted me the business card. It's just a card. Anyone could fake it. Chill dude.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

Additionally, very curious what the fuck it says about me. Nothing good for sure.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

Still calling the agent verification hot line though

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

Guessing direct B was slammed by working completely alone and missed the message because of that. He should have still called me to tell me that things were going sideways and I'd have canceled my PTO, but completely forgivable.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@reynoldsrd @Haunt_Fox CAPITALISM IS THE CHAMPION OF THE POOR

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

I did some actual checking. IQ for down syndrome is usually between 20-69 with mosaic down syndrome adding 10-35 points. That being said there are documented instances of people with down syndrome who have tested at 120 and have no mental impairment.

Daniel

@growing_daniel

4 months

Okay what is Down syndrome because the kid I knew growing up was nice but he would be functionally incapable of handling this job I think this woman is faking it

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

New race science just dropped (Egyptian BTW)

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

10 months

And then I don't know. He sucks so much but I've tried, yet again, to form some sort of bond with him. He is in therapy, supposedly, which he doesn't need. I mean he needs occupational therapy for whatever flavor of neurodivergent he is, but he doesn't need CBT or

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

Considering how successful I'd be at firing all of my directs and starting over.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@stanfordNYC I would simply not lie

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

17 days

Democracy outside of the US and France has been around for like, ~150 years max? What if it just doesn't work. Not like doesn't work to my preferences or idealogy, but what if it just doesn't work after 200-300 years. It breaks.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@GOde364 @godofbrainrot @ANightAtRosies @DonnelVillager

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

@seconds_0 @Duderichy I can tell you that at minimum I'd be too embarrassed to whine about it if I didn't.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@brian_armstrong It was Marxist from the start man.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

"Well he did x, y, and z and you both worked at A. Could you tell me about detail B?" "no, not until I talk to him" "even though I just gave you personal details about him? You still aren't willing?" "no, there are too many scams" Called former direct, it was legit. But like

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

My grandpa at 89 years old after 69 years of marriage losing my grandmother is the worst thing I've experienced in my entire life.

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

At my most antinatalist when I'm holding the hand of my emaciated 81 year old grandmother hooked up to a ventilator. Born to die. A million tubes and monitors screaming along, stalling the inevitable. Not even cognizant enough to appreciate the legacy and life left behind.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

9 months

LITTLE CAESAR'S ASKING ME TO TIP ON A TO GO ORDER. YOU DON'T EVEN TALK TO ANYONE. YOU TYPE A CODE INTO THE PIZZA PORTAL.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

COVID lock downs still in effect in hospitals apparently. Grandfather in for five days. It's Christmas. His wife just died. No visitors. What the fuck.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

I refuse to believe this is a real working product at any reasonable cost trade off. Obviously in my interest but no, just no way.

Terraform Industries

@TerraformIndies

1 month

Announcing first end-to-end production of pipeline grade natural gas from sunlight and air.

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itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

3 months

All resume advice is fake because all of the hiring managers are insane people with no shared characteristics about what a good resume is.

New York Post

@nypost

3 months

I’m a hiring manager — here’s how to get your job application noticed

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33

12

8

156

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

5 months

We know that ChatGPT responds well to being tipped, saying people will die, and being fired. But have we tried the most motivating force known to man? Pretending to be a woman in distress. I bet the hotter you tell it is the harder it works.

5

3

149

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

1 month

Oil and gas is hiring programmers still, but you won't like it.

andi (e/alb)

@Nexuist

1 month

@liminal_warmth I appreciate you and @orthonormalist ’s transparency on this btw. This is a hiring market I don’t think anyone has ever been exposed to

2

0

126

14

3

152

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@EricKivell14 @calibercastle @DonnelVillager Ableist

1

0

136

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

@bwbbx none

0

144

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

7 months

Finding out what decolonization means today. Do we get to find out decarbonization really means next week?

11

6

145

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

4 months

>work out 9 times all year >gain 20 pounds of fat >eat the worst fast food almost every single day in excessive quantities Total cholesterol down 24 points HDL cholesterol up 4 points LDL cholesterol down 3 points Non HDL Cholesterol down 28 points CHOL/HDLC 5.1 -> 4.2 Explain.

26

2

145

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

6 months

"Alright, let me call him to verify he is actually trying to do that. Too many scams out there." Dude gets irritated with me, "well I can text you my business card" "you're more than welcome to but I'm still calling him before answering any questions"

1

0

143

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

2 months

You know I keep that mf Thang on me

Dr. Dad, PhD 🔄🔼◀️🔽▶️

@GarrettPetersen

2 months

Can someone explain the mechanics of this? Why couldn't she open/break a door or window and swim to the surface? It doesn't sound like a super deep pond.

32

2

136

7

2

145

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

10 months

@ctjlewis Criminology from a community college. It isn't normally useless. There is additional context here I am too lazy to provide but imagine if you got a CS degree but lived in Afghanistan without internet and refused to move.

4

0

140

itsnotreal (0/58,642)

@_its_not_real_

7 months

They keep a database of your medical history much like your credit score. I don't remember the largest company. You can request a copy of your report for free. I did to see what showed up for my personally. Some Googling and you can figure it out I'm sure. However,

joon

@abettertake

7 months

to be fair I tried to get it when I was 27, but at some point I told a doctor I smoked weed a couple times per year and somehow the insurance company found out

5

1

40

5

6

138