Madame President @zumamalicious Twitter profile

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@BolivarianoCO

Madame President

@zumamalicious

6 months

Overconsumption of other people's lives.

Philosophy Of Life

@PhilOfLife_

6 months

Why is our generation so unhappy?

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@zumamalicious

4 months

Just saw a woman zip down her pants to unleash her stomach so she can eat comfortably in a public dining room, and I rate that level of unbotheredness. Happy International Women's Day, ladies.

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@zumamalicious

3 years

@KatiHartwig Lol. Sounds like my daughter. "My mum said I should not talk to strangers, so my name is B. What's yours? "

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

My daughter figured out that she is an auditory learner, she reads out her notes into her phone and then listens to it with ear phones. I am glad she figured out what works for her early.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@tiffg802002 @Neyogems Mine got to know her grandma is my mum. She very upset about it. Like 'how dare you have a mum too'

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

To be honest, Lagos is not for anybody. They don't even have trees.

🏄🏾‍♂️ Derrick

@software_artist

4 years

Need to relocate to Abuja. This Lagos is not for me

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@itsbriancuh @safiyyahmodibbo Lol. My kids are the parents in this scenario. Tell me about 'why are you always having deliveries?' I am not broke like you guys please.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@SaidIbragimov2 @kacledits @iamdevinwagner Tweeting from the grave?

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@tundealuko Explaining twitter jokes to non-twitter people is alot of work.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@taemindoII @AvelaFak @agiantpaperclip He seem more attracted to Squidward than Sandy. Sandy is just pure bromance.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@enisullyman @sarsouura_ I am screenshotting and sending this to daddy that you are looking for a father on the internet while he is still alive.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

Went home for a 3weeks leave, came back engaged and got married 3months later. I mean surprise weddings do happen when intentions are not clearly defined. The bf was shocked like we were good. We were good but there is no clear offer here.

UncleFarr

@UncleFarr

2 years

@ScorpioAmplexus She said it was arranged o. Like a surprise wedding 🤣

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

@The_Florentyna That's a women's thing. Men travel light.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@Jollz

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@aujula @Adacampbell The only thing he is doing right

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

And puffpuff money. You just might see hot puffpuff on the way.

Mayowa.

@Wana____

5 years

Note to self: Always carry money for okada when going jogging.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@paigeslibrary We will not be tolerating physics slander here when there is chemistry.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@iChopTweets @Mira_Lambo Sorry babe is very important

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@honeydjoko 😂😂😂😂 I went for open house to complain about my child's loudness and the teacher said he is the calmest in the class, I was perplexed. Had to spend some time in his class to see for myself.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

Marriage as it is practiced in most parts of Nigeria deprives the woman of personal autonomy and leaves room for abuse. It makes it very unattractive, & it is not status or age specific. This conversation about husbands attempting to clip their wife's wings is very triggering.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

There is no manual to human relationships and it scares me. You can have the best intention towards someone and they perceive it differently based on their reality. Sincerity and communication help though.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

29 days

@theashleyray Or the concept of not interested in cooking

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@Kingwole Life is hard, relationships should be soft.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@DeborahToluwase @NaijaFlyingDr Moral of the story: stay true to yourself.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

Welcome to cashless

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@Shomicita @reminola Nobody should be forced to carry a baby.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

Paying 35% of your salary on rent is not wild if it saves you significant cost on transportation and commute time. Budgeting should be holistic and not individual.

CHECK MY PINNED TWEET

@m_adesuwa

1 year

Earning N450,000 monthly and paying N1,900,000 for annual rent is wild.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

When you care about someone, state your intentions clearly and make a clear offer so you can both know what you are working towards. The mere fact that we wear matching asoebi does not mean we are building long-term.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@Ziziian @idomagirl Rape is always about power and abuse.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@pokahunnit @stayflo_ @Xian_Bell But because they are used to the special treatment, it hurts them like hell and they can't deal.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@WhoIsAsking8 @KatiHartwig Lol. They always introduce themselves so they can stop being strangers.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@Mo_aba Why you should marry your type, not the one that man will want to use school fees to buy shawarma and woman will be doing let's use it to buy car instead or pay for course.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@ZeppelinCoop @TheUnscripted_ My 10y.o offered to give me a massage for N100 since the masseuse is unavailable, I said OK, 5 mins in, he said "you are bigger than I thought, I will like to engage B (his 8y.o sister) as an assistant but you will have to pay us N50 more" Man legit filed for variation.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@Sbona_S @Sean_Cooldad I don't pay them jack but I make them pay for cable TV with their money and they get to decide the bouquet they want, it's part of their financial literacy training.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

Parenting multiple kids is understanding that you have to switch your style depending on the child you are relating with. I get better result with my son when I appeal to him emotionally (he doesn't like me upset), my daughter on the other hand is threats.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

25 days

@_MsLinda I find the fact that you think 12.5% of my rent will take me beyond my village amusing.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@Marty_Parrish @MarkOnorato66 @whatchidid And if you don't have a toddler around ask yourself "what would a toddler do"

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

7 months

@zegbua Men are easy people. Just be yourself.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@JesseAlordiah This is victim blaming.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@SPQRBatman @jelenawoehr Sustainable and thrive is the way

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@Iesha040425531 @babyrae676 @camilebrooks3 @OBEYbrae_ How dare he fertilise two eggs at different spots

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@uchjnn I need at least 6 red flags and a red curtain.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@Supergirl414 @AriannaModels @Ragculture Absolutely

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

6 years

@T_Jaxn @MidwestMally Even the dishes I dirtied, don't count on it. I am a guest.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

11 months

@8bit_bb @MarianKlatt @cyclartist @RMCunliffe I am Melissa

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@DerinAdebayo @Caramel_Lima I think this also reflects how employee centred the organisation is. If the employee is not well treated, he wouldnt be motivated to do the detailed handover. Love it for you

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@itsebukafr @funshora All the songs from 50 shades of grey.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

8 years ago, my ovaries snapped and made this one and ever since she has dragged me from edge to edge.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

6 months

One of the hardest things about being single is not having someone to give hot gists to and share random daily happenings.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 months

@helennbrownn Lol. One of the guys I used to play tennis with comes with a full gun-wielding security entourage in one of the safest cities and safest neighborhoods in the country. I find it amusing.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@AlisonStine Kids are cute. One of them saw my call card and was like 'hmmm, you are a consultant? I thought you are an accountant? Me - you can be more than one thing baby

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

@imoteda Wait, is that what all those foggy drinks are made with?

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

"Everything can not be a ladder to you" learn to enjoy people just because.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@Ayabonga_M @DeesseDee There are always other inconsiderate events. That was just the last straw

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@StxcxyxPgrunt @meganmuircoyle After explaining child birth to my 10years, he said "Thank God, I don't ever have to do that", turned to the sister "I am sorry you have to do that, but you can choose not to, I don't think I will want my wife to do that"

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@robishungry @adrianbliss That's the villain. The ones that come due to failed contraceptives

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@Munachimsoooo 😂😂😂 this is so funny. Is it that you don't know how to act like a seductres or you find the entire idea repulsive

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

@Munachimsoooo 😂😂😂 I wouldn't have gotten back to you too. Employee not dependant.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@pyjama_ceo Lol. This sincerity is respected.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@SuliaJenifa @Adakuuuuu Lol. Me at most high level meetings. Like 'how did you achieve so much with this level of smartness' but then getting a seat at the table is more about opportunity, grace and semblance of smartness.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@yesSteriio We are rooting for you Villain.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@_kad3n @Marty_Parrish @MarkOnorato66 @whatchidid Cushioned floor, with small toddler energy.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 months

@kneeyockartee @ImRegelion1 Your choice C, may be you should try mooing some time.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@womenpostingws

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

6 years

@T_Jaxn @MidwestMally Why I wouldn't come the fourth time.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

Lagos people, stop fighting over trees. Just plant one- oh sorry, I forgot, everywhere is concrete.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

I have always wanted to write professionally for a long while but then procrastination and may be fear has been getting in the way. Anyways I signed an influencer agreement with @OperaNewsHub yesterday. Come join me create, share and learn!

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

Somebody is cutting onions because I feel like I haven't even done anything for this lady.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@enbyonce @_cyyndaquil Not banks. A candy store may be.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

Eid Mubarak to you all and Happy World Zumah's Day!

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@HutchManselll @cremechic11 Because how can you say you love me and not be consistently squeezing 2k into my hand.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

8 months

@asemota Other people's husbands' work rate >>> At a point, you would start wondering why your dear single and unattached man is not emulating their efforts.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@soibomari So, open marriage? We need to start minding our business more.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

There are two bunk beds in the same room, a toddler bed and a 4*6 in another room for them but my children still decide to sleep on a single bunk bed. Children are what?

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@seyedele Unrealistic expectations, poor communication and insincerity. Nobody will meet you where you are, you will meet one another halfway.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

1 year

Our obsession with productive friendships sometimes takes the joy out of building meaningful just-because connections, not every interaction needs to have a KPI. Sometimes rest and indulge.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

11 months

Sometimes you forget how loved you are because you have chosen to isolate yourself from your loved ones. When in doubt, always go home.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@YemiHollar @BLE5SING Because anybody can show up at any time to claim he left everything for them too.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@fueksy @WunmiWonka Because the money would have settled very well by then.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 months

@Mochievous We are not an excellence-pursuing nation. We are okay with the bare minimum.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@anafricandiva @Richard3d7 Baby conceived during the fuel subsidy protest.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@BemLeNoir This is why I set patience limit for myself when it is undefined. I refuse to do long suffering. It is paralysing.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@darknbold1 Lol. A friend discovered she was pregnant a few weeks after her divorce was final. The entire process took less than 2months. You guys finished gbenshing and went to court the following day or how did the pregnancy happen sef.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

5 years

@_Kerimah_ One of my former tailor's husband, rides Okada. He drops her off in the morning, pick her up in the evening, brings her lunch regularly and snacks sometimes when he is passing by. Had to ask how long they have been together, 5 years and they have two kids. It is so sweet to watch

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@mkees1 @the_chrishall @Fikkert Loool. Mine randomly ask "who will get all your shiny nice stuff when you die" and I always respond with "not you" to avoid giving him ideas.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@AudreyNashville @amanpour No, she did not side with the protesters. She refused to be bullied, the headscarf is not part of the expected women's dress code in the US.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@enisullyman 😂😂😂 First of all, you are the one that decided to follow man and move to his house, so you can't even complain about him not bringing you food. Secondly, you can block us but you can't block our burner.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@jaanuhthn Like, what if we have to do this forever. That's scary

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@iKillCuriosity 😂😂😂 can't see the problem, ain't we all wfh

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

3 years

@AdaUbakala It is. But there is nothing wrong with unpaid labour. Family is about service, nobody is getting paid for whatever they contribute to the family. The angst is not about the labour but the entitlement. Women are getting killed for not cooking and that stems from entitlement.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@baddanadanabad And it's so difficult to take them seriously. Okay now, you are big and shit but I still process you as that human in oversized school sandals.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

4 years

@Richard3d7 From someone with a subsidy baby I can totally relate.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@Rubiks6 @YarKafanchan Not sure they understand that the essence of a relationship is making one another's life easier and more enjoyable. Everybody is focused on what they will be depriving their partners.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious

2 years

@hartng @cremechic11 That's how people end up with the life other people desire for them and not the life they desire for themselves.

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Madame President

@zumamalicious