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Shannon Sanders Profile
Shannon Sanders

@ShandersWrites

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I wrote a book called Company; maybe you’d like to read it?

Maryland, USA
Joined February 2020
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 month
Planning for paperback events! I’ll definitely do something in the DC area plus would love to visit another city or two this fall. If you would come hear me talk about stories and let me sign your book, where do you live? (And do you have a favorite local store?) 🍃🍂🍁
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
3yo tested positive. I know it’s popular to act bewildered and claim to have been nowhere, but in fact we have had some exposure: the amount required to keep our jobs, plus a masked, outdoor family Christmas gathering.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
28 days
Took a 4-hour zoo trip that left the adults feeling like sun-dried tomatoes. Came home for naptime, after which all three children asked, earnestly, “What are we going to do today??” 10/10 no notes
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
PSA: If Terry makes $90k, Taylor makes $60k, and childcare costs $50k, it is NOT “Childcare was going to eat up most of Taylor’s salary anyway,” it IS “Childcare eats up 1/3 of our household income, ugh this sucks” Then proceed from there
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 months
@realgirl_fieri Trying to imagine looking into the eyes of someone I wasn’t married to yet and having the “My mom has always cooked for me every day but now that we’re together YOU must do it, you simply must, or I will starve” conversation
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
But I’m really, truly sorry they want to see your vax card to let you into Bar Louie or whatever the fuck.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 year
There’s a thread where ppl are sharing how their male partners support their writing and the responses range from like “My bf sometimes lets me tell him how my work is going” to “My husb took a second job so I could spend 6 months writing a 3k-word essay.” It’s really something
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
Unless I’m mistaken, caring for little kids while sick is an element of parenting that is utterly hack-proof, meaning there is no hack that makes it any easier, no lesson you can learn that makes it go better the next time. So grim
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
We annoyed everyone in our own families with our carefulness. People told us we were being ridiculous, questioned and second-guessed our protocols. As omicron started popping up everywhere, we had to fight uphill against the attitude that the kids would definitely get infected.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
We are also, again, as for ALL OF 2020, stranded with zero childcare help, this time with 3x the children. There is no stretch of time longer than 4 hours to sleep in. No one over age 3 is ever rested enough to do any form of self care. School is a no-go for now.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 years
I gave birth to two babies today 🍾😓
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
We DID spend 2 years doing absolutely everything feasible to keep him and his baby brothers safe. Traveled nowhere. No indoor gatherings of any sort. Only masked interactions with our own parents.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
The likeliest vector was either a vaccinated relative (whom we didn’t hug or come within 6 feet of outdoors) or the vaccinated sitter (who comes 3 days/week and makes it possible for us to keep our jobs). My anger has no place to settle.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
I didn’t want my kids to catch it. We don’t know how it will affect their development, or how mild this case will be. Two are babies (luckily getting antibodies through breast milk). So I rejected the fatalism that started overtaking everybody.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
Nothing on earth could have prepared me for the reality of weekends spent caring for 3 small children. Not the decade of babysitting I did, not watching my friends who had kids first. Nothing except maybe an automated face-punching machine
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
We just wanted to get them safely to the point of kiddy vaccines. We were willing to pause our lives completely until then. Now I’m feeling guilty for the small risks, listed above, that we did take.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
The guidance is confusing and, we all agree, bullshit. 3yo is fine so far, aside from a runny nose. I am dreading any change to the household symptom profile. The adults here are already fatigued to an unsafe degree.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
How many parts of society run on the apparent assumption that every child has a stay-at-home parent, even in communities where that isn’t even close to being true
@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
What is one parenting thing that caught you completely by surprise? I was prepared for sleeplessness, tantrums, picky eating. But I genuinely didn’t believe until I saw it with my own two eyes just how hard it is to find childcare that fully covers your working hours.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
The numbers might be obfuscating my point for some, so for the record this also applies if Terry and Taylor each make $75k and childcare costs $50k. Money is fungible and the kids are a shared responsibility, so it’s not somehow only costing one person money.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
6 months
@clhubes Omg this is almost exactly like when I called my husband asking him to bring home “vino” and followed it up with this text: “🍷🍷🍷🍷” and he brought home…this
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 year
@clhubes Cheers to you for making your 4 Loko person your forever person, not everyone is so skilled 😭😭😭
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
4 months
Tell me about how you finished your novel manuscript without ever doing a residency or going on a retreat or taking a sabbatical or ever having more than 3 consecutive hours of free time, because I really need to hear about that please
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 months
I was so excited to have children and I love mine to pieces, but can I tell you what I never wonder? Why people my age and younger are not choosing to have kids. Absolutely 0% confusion there. And can’t tell whether everyone else is doing a bit when they act baffled about it.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
@clhubes My other favorite: “I’m gonna cultivate a love of good music and they’ll never ask me to play cartoon crap” (me 5 years ago) 4yo this morning in the car: “Play the Tigger song lots and lots and LOTS of times in a row and nothing else” (it’s 35 f*cking seconds long)
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 months
I will save you some time: 1) She is currently 27 (and her husb is under 40); 2) They’ve been married less than 4 years; 3) They plan to have children but don’t yet Do with that info what you will as you assess the “case”
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
Not to toot my own horn, but you really should see me walk 😌
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
@ambernoelle My child had a wonderful birthday party last weekend that almost drowned me, and then yesterday when his teacher asked what special thing he did over the weekend he told her he found a moth in our house
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
@clhubes I’ve been pretending to be a raptor for two hours, so…yeah
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 year
Now imagine the wife’s day given that kids are mentioned but this guy has nothing to do with them for 22 hrs
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
@sarahradz_ As is the case with almost everything, I suspect it’s having enough control over your schedule that you can decide whether or not to walk places that actually does the trick
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
4 months
@realgirl_fieri “I notice that women face structural barriers that threaten their health and limit their options, but don’t worry I don’t see a problem with that”
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
4 months
@ambernoelle I’m willing a bet $100 that there is a strong inverse correlation between how many carnations we got and how vividly we remember this practice
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 years
GUESS WHAT
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
@blgtylr While producing not a drop of milk himself.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
6 months
@sarahradz_ Have you tried just chilling out and not worrying about everything so much? (My husband’s annual suggestion)
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
13 days
@sewistwrites I don’t know why they, in saying that, always assume we did not communicate directly with our grandmothers about their lives and what they wanted for us
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
9 months
*deep breath* Today is the day! After years of writing and revising, many lovely workshops, a little bit of rewriting, and so much else, I finally get to send Company out into the world. I am so proud of this book and so excited to share it.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
MY BABIES GOT THEIR FIRST SHOTS. 😭😭😭 Have never felt such instant kinship as I did with the other little-kid parents in line, so ecstatically happy. Such palpable relief. Everyone in the group applauded for every kid. Such an amazing thing after 27 months of hell.
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Shannon Sanders
1 month
@blgtylr I so do not get this. Yesterday I was sharing a signing table with a super lovely author when a reader presented him with an old copy of one of his first books and it was such a major delight to us both
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Shannon Sanders
5 months
@realgirl_fieri I try so hard to communicate this to my husband but it sounds like I’m just arbitrarily being like, “Can we please keep this one room tidy for 3 hours just for funsies?” When really it’s that I’m going to lose the will to do anything ever again if the room is destroyed instantly
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
Hey Mama, hope you enjoyed your 2 to 5.5 hours of sleep! It’s Sunday, so all you have to do today are 49 of the usual 50 things plus those other 2,000 things you never have time for during the week plus those three massive, scary things you have looming. Have a restful day!
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
@vanjchan He’s never even tried to publish???? So basically, “It bothers me that my cute friend with benefits is at all talented” wow the smallness of this ⚰️
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 month
Remember that there are people doing this literally ALL AROUND you, and if you care, behave accordingly
@PopBase
Pop Base
1 month
Lady Gaga reveals she performed 5 shows with COVID-19 on her Chromatica Ball tour: “I shared it with everyone on my team […] I just didn’t wanna let all the fans down. [They] were all putting themselves in harm’s way everyday coming to the show.”
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Shannon Sanders
6 months
@sewistwrites I try to stay very far away from those discussions because it’s all false economy but surely those guys also argue that in the many households where the wife is the higher earner, the reverse is true, right? In the interest of fairness?? Right????
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
11 months
One of the 2yos pooped after falling asleep. My husband got in, changed his diaper without waking him OR the twin he shares a room with, and got out, sparing us all what would surely have been a messy 5-person 2:45 am wakeup, and I just want to know if I can re-marry him.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 years
Weekdays too, but there’s something about how wholly it decimates your lifelong association between weekends and rest/free time
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 months
@clhubes One of my friends once complisulted me in our early 20s by being like “I like to eat salads and work out, but I love how you stay skinny by just eating like one unhealthy thing per day and nothing else!” Mortified
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Shannon Sanders
2 months
@averagejoelle Totally, once both partners’ goals and contributions are being treated with respect and importance, then you can decide what to do from a place of equity!!
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
7 months
Writing can be so embarrassing. Yeah like…just kind of sitting here typing. This thing that no one asked for. 75,000 words of it, yep. Because…I like to? Mostly. Anyway, maybe it’ll be done in 3 years! Or who knows.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
@realgirl_fieri My fave is the mom, who gets one second of screen time and two bars about coconuts but who you just know is holding down so much of that establishment.
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 year
(Both hyperbole but not by much)
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Shannon Sanders
1 month
@clhubes I think that’s the problem exactly, that a lot of us are so overextended that we sometimes can’t do things we want or need to do to be happier. The same way I’d be happier if I woke up at 4 am every day to exercise but I just can’t
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
10 months
I’m in this month’s Writer’s Digest. My dad found me at Barnes and Noble and made a display with my teeny tiny face in the middle of it 😭
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
@ambernoelle Yep, people only seem to get this wrong when Taylor is a mom. When Taylor is a dad, they understand it instinctively
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 months
I’m not saying marrying an older man isn’t great, but if you’re going to argue that one of the benefits is it protects you from losing ground to younger women as you age, you should like…wait long enough to make sure that’s actually true
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
10 months
Thinking of having kids? If you do, be forewarned—occasionally sitting down will constitute “self-care”
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@ScaryMommy
Scary Mommy
10 months
"They’re pushing past the mom guilt and leaning in — or sitting down, as it were."
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Shannon Sanders
11 months
That a person who was able to write their book because someone else was paying their bills is probably not going to say so directly, so you should quickly learn to avoid comparing your productivity and timeline to others’
@chamomeriam
Miriam 🐸 🍉
11 months
alternatively, what’s a hard to swallow pill for writers/authors, in your experience? either about the process or the industry
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Shannon Sanders
1 month
@ambernoelle This is the extension of how no one ever thinks they were part of the in-group in high school
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
@SomersErin But how did you manage this, bc my toddlers start yelling PLEASE COME HERE, SANNA if “Mama” doesn’t work immediately
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Shannon Sanders
2 years
@aubreyhirsch “Thanks to my understanding partner, I’ll still get to have the daily alone time my mental health requires” — abandoned when we went from 👦🏽 -> 👦🏽👶🏽👶🏽
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Shannon Sanders
2 months
@realgirl_fieri I don’t think I’m one of those moms, but I do often feel like people overestimate how much space is leftover outside of motherhood. Like they’ll say “So what else is new with you?” after I describe the busiest week of my life spent trying to balance job and kids
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Shannon Sanders
1 month
Sometimes people say “Ooh twins!! I hope I have twins” when they see me out with my kids. And I think those people may be imagining an experience like parenting a singleton, except with two kids to show for it, and it is…very much not that
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Shannon Sanders
2 years
I did not expect this thread to resonate with so many people 😳 but I’m so grateful for the kind words and feel less lonely now. As an update, I have some unpleasant flulike symptoms that make parenting hard(er), but the rest of the house, for now, is fine. ❤️
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
11 days
Husbands love nothing more than saying “Oh, you don’t have to clean before my family comes”
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
I have no idea why I started getting Quora emails, but people are on the whole so relentlessly horrible to struggling parents that the gentleness of this response made me tear up
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
1 year
A gal and her galley (photo credit: @davidchoy ). COMPANY is infinitely preorderable!
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
3 months
My brother once asked me to name something (aside from $) I wish I never had to worry about again and I spat out the word “weight” so fast his head spun. He was surprised bc I never talk to him about that but it would truly free up 50% of my emotional energy
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
@clhubes Why don’t you just try having no preferences at all about the place where you make your home
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Shannon Sanders
3 months
@clhubes That time couldn’t be more terrible if they tried, wonder how many of the children in question will be front and center on the zoom screens working their magic
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Shannon Sanders
22 days
@emilykmay Firmly believe oversharing is the only way into actual friendship. I’m shy so I get locked into undersharing acquaintanceship with lots of people, it kind of sucks!!
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Shannon Sanders
27 days
…But actual Black people also write about this 😭
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Shannon Sanders
6 months
@clhubes Sick parents/well kids is really the worst of the four scenarios
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Shannon Sanders
11 months
@ambernoelle Ok but in fairness I think my parents went through the same thing with respect to the way Mork from Ork was deeply entrenched in my heart as Mrs. Doubtfire/Genie
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Shannon Sanders
2 years
@DaxAeterna @hombrewrecker Every single time I show off a new shawl people ask why don’t I sell shawls, but then I’d be out many dollars and so much joy
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Shannon Sanders
12 days
@clhubes Loving the implication that a person who feels shame when the occasional irl person calls out their privilege somehow feels no shame in bragging openly about it to strangers
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
Introverts with kids under 5. How do you have friends???? It is such a lonely time BUT your kids consume every iota of your social energy BUT you need to talk about what you’re going through BUT people on social media will drown you with bad-faith judgments. How do you/we do it??
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
@RVoronaCote “I, unlike everyone around me, contain multitudes. So why don’t any of these frumps want to be my friend?”
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Shannon Sanders
1 month
@realgirl_fieri Because of that beautiful fiction that says good mothers love their children in a way where caring for them isn’t work and they really don’t *need* breaks from it, which would be such wonderful news for everyone if it were true
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
@clhubes My husband and I talk every single week about how badly it would have gone if we’d met even 2.5 years earlier, it’s soooo case-by-case
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Shannon Sanders
10 months
@CartoonsHateHer The current parenting culture is literally exactly the one you would design if you wanted to directly discourage people from becoming parents, so all the hand wringing about the birth rate cracks me up
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
@roywoodjr I’ve seen this one before. If you start helping even lightly, there’s a 90% chance the other dad puts his phone away and instantly becomes coach of the year. Win/win
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Shannon Sanders
2 months
@clhubes Yes the suggestion that none of the women in the first photo will ever be wed or give birth is so asinine when actually they will all probably spend 5 straight summers attending two of their friends’ weddings each month
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
@lucysky It’s meant as a common trad virtue signal, but it also tells us that least one of the children he’s fantasizing about ignoring all day is probably very young
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Shannon Sanders
1 month
@realgirl_fieri Wonderwall is a stop-everything song in our house
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Shannon Sanders
2 months
@BonsoirAnna I think if a family feels that a mother should not leave her child in the care of a third party, that is a completely different discussion than the salary one
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Shannon Sanders
3 months
Last thing. If you are planning to give birth, I cannot stress enough how important it is that your partner’s love is not staked to your youthful hotness
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
Novel writing is wild. You have nothing to show for it for literally years. Like in what other area of life would this be remotely tolerable 😭
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Shannon Sanders
2 months
@dingle_kerry Ok wait actually this is a hack!
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
I was explaining to 4yo why—for the third Monday in a row—there is yet again no school today, and he gave me a look that clearly said “Hey if school doesn’t exist anymore, you know you can just tell me”
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Shannon Sanders
4 months
@clhubes Having another baby five minutes after my previous baby rather than wising up and stopping between babies (they’re twins)
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Shannon Sanders
3 years
This feels like the perfect time to mention that I found my way to both my agent and editor through my debut short story publication, for which I did not get paid! Which is to say, I think you should publish wherever you want to.
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Shannon Sanders
10 months
@JayElHarris You must have missed that she’s a petite blonde, aka universally and unreservedly desired
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Shannon Sanders
1 year
I don’t know how many adults are needed to maintain a household including 2 FT jobs and 3 kids under age 5 in such a way that there is always at least one available adult with enough energy, but I do know the number is greater than two
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Shannon Sanders
9 months
The first little bit of pub day magic: THE ⁦ @levarburton ⁩ is reading my story “Dragonflies” on today’s episode of his podcast!!!! I mean—what?? 🤯 After my parents, Reading Rainbow was my first intro to the wonder of books. I’m ecstatic.
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Shannon Sanders
8 months
@clhubes There are a few things that are about as hard as I expected, many things that are harder than I would guessed, and then this one that is like 25x even what I anticipated
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
11 months
Company got a starred review from @PublishersWkly !! They called the book “masterly” and “a winner,” and I try not to worry about reviews but 🌟🤩⭐️🤩🌟
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
7 months
Company made @PublishersWkly ’s Best of 2023 list!
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
2 months
Company won its category at the @latimesfob !
@latimesfob
LA Times Festival of Books
2 months
And now we have @RobertsEmma and @Karahpriess of @belletristbooks here to present The Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction #bookprizes #bookfest 📕🏆️ And the prize goes to…. @shanderswrites for Company!
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Shannon Sanders
4 months
@clhubes The article takes pains to be like “The non-identical one looks like his mum and his brother!” Lol
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Shannon Sanders
2 months
Someone approached me in the @latimesfob signing line and told me he had two things for me to sign…I thought he must be getting me confused with someone else (I only have one book) but he had my issue of @onestorymag 😭
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@ShandersWrites
Shannon Sanders
9 months
1. A couple days ago I saw a writer mention that they've had dozens of stories in journals and litmags and it hasn't gotten them closer to their goal of publishing a book. I see that sentiment often and I sympathize. The journey is frustrating and incremental and slow. But...
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