Amy Colleen Profile Banner
Amy Colleen Profile
Amy Colleen

@sewistwrites

10,822
Followers
1,265
Following
3,878
Media
29,808
Statuses

Christian, writer, married @Hubby2SewWrites . Humor, historical fashion, "several niche accts in a trench coat." Will turn anything into a Jane Austen reference.

Somewhere with a long book
Joined April 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 days
Comparing some of the memorable costumes in Gillian Armstrong's 1994 "Little Women" with originals from the 1860s. A thread. 🧵
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
31
111
1K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
Me when I have friends over: Please treat my home as your home. Make yourself comfortable. Allow me to express my love for you through hospitality!!!!!! Me staying with friends: might I perhaps be permitted to drink a glass of water from your faucet if it is not too much bother
115
14K
121K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
It is absolutely bonkers to me that in *2023* a man can, of his own free will, decide to abandon the wife he chose to marry, the kids he chose to have, the family he promised to love & cherish... and it's the woman he runs away with who gets called "the homewrecker"
436
8K
96K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
As spooky season approaches, my very interested toddler has been asking "WHAT HIM NAME?" when we see a skeleton or other ghoulish figure on someone's lawn, and since "I don't know" is unacceptable to people who are almost 3, I have been spitballing names of people I don't like.
228
3K
82K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 year
I was sobbing on the phone to my mom about how my 2yo has eaten nothing but scrambled eggs, fruit, cookies & juice pops for a week and she said, "well [your 6ft tall, experimental chef, firefighter little brother] ate nothing but applesauce & cheerios for a year and he's FINE"
1K
2K
80K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
11 months
"You're going to put up *all* those tiny stars on A's ceiling?" I asked Rob. "When I was a kid I wanted glow-in-the-dark stars & my dad put up 3 or 4 & abandoned the project, like everything else," he said. "I'm going to follow through. A's worth it." He put up 107. And a moon.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
291
3K
75K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
When I was growing up, water was the only approved drink between meals. Yesterday my son asked for milk after playing outside at my parents' and my dad poured his grandson a giant cup of CHOCOLATE milk. 🧐 IT WAS NOT EVEN ANYONE'S BIRTHDAY OR ANYTHING.
347
2K
74K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 year
I saw a Facebook post recently about moms often just wanting peace & quiet, not a big fuss, on Mother's Day-- and I cannot stop thinking about the comment from one woman that said, "I can hardly express how badly I want to be treated like I treat my family for one day."
274
4K
65K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
Girl that's not a cute lil "oh wow we are so different," it's an indicator that you need to have a talk about childcare responsibility and division of labor
Tweet media one
59
3K
61K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
Sorry I didn't text back! I actually saw your text .025 seconds after you sent it but I didn't want to reply immediately and seem like a total loser whose whole life is being glued to her phone so I decided to wait and then darkness took me and I strayed out of thought and time
30
9K
56K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
My 3yo, who has to have everything read aloud to him, opened a fortune cookie tonight that said, "The path to success lies in taking a bath without fussing or throwing water out of the tub and getting out nicely with no crying." what are the ODDS
120
1K
44K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
It's sad when our families don't appreciate all the things we moms do for them. For instance, my husband has not once thanked me today for providing him with up-to-the-minute coverage on the Kensington Palace photo conspiracy.
156
1K
36K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
Both of my sons have somewhat classic, WASP-y first names, and the number of older people who have said to me, "oh how nice, he has a nOrMaL name, and you don't have to wonder if he's a boy or a girl" is rather rich coming from the generation of seven million people named Pat
217
944
35K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
Me to my husband: "Don't worry, he's only 2, he'll forget about wanting ice cream for dinner if we don't bring it up." My 2yo: "Behold, mother, there is the exact space Grandma parked in when she drove me to this playground 3 weeks ago; I was clad in my green Stegosaurus shirt"
89
1K
29K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
People are tweeting about how they wish the Victorian trend of treating burnout with a "rest cure" or being "sent to the seaside to take the air" would come back and I just want to say it never left! It functions exactly as it did in the 19th century! It's called having money!
78
4K
27K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
Teach your kids to clean up after themselves and they 👏 will 👏 be 👏self 👏 sufficient 👏* . . . . *my 3yo spilled his milk so he fetched a washcloth from a drawer all by himself, wiped up the puddle, and then returned the washcloth to the drawer ☺️🙃
122
784
27K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
One of the most glaring differences I have noticed in how dads vs moms are perceived as parents is in taking our 3yo to the park. When my husband steps back and watches Andy play independently, people smile at him for being a laid-back dad letting his kid have fun. But when 1/2
79
693
25K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
I'm never leaving this website
Tweet media one
21
796
24K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
3yo: I want to have a real turkey on Fanksgiving Me: Yes, Grandma will have real turkey when we go to her house. 3yo: And I will pet him! And him will say "gobble gobble." 😬
72
398
20K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
Hope your day is going better than that of my 3yo, who apparently is just now absorbing/processing for the first time that T-rexes are in fact extinct and we will not find them in any zoo. Thoughts & prayers pls.
187
861
20K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
I have done the same, other parents have loudly asked me if my son "needs help" or even brought him over to me when I was sitting on a bench feeding the baby. If we gave moms even half of the assumption-of-best-intentions that we give dads, I think we could do a lot of good. 2/2
27
316
20K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
"I'd catch a grenade for y--" Cool. Would you do the dishes without needing to be asked though
86
2K
19K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
@realgirl_fieri Oh girl you're gonna get crucified for this but you are CORRECT
17
38
18K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
Tell me about a common historical myth that makes your hackles rise. I don't mean actual disinformation like Holocaust denial; I mean stuff like "Napoleon was short!" For me it's probably "corsets were torture devices for the rich" and "romantic love is a very modern concept."
829
801
17K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
Someone was bragging on Facebook last night about managing to get into a store *after* official closing time to finish some Christmas shopping, and called it a "Christmas miracle," and idk what the exact criteria is for getting visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve but
19
483
13K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
"The concept of 'breakfast food' is a social construct," I whisper to myself as my 3yo requests spaghetti and meatballs at 7:30 am for the fourth time this week
230
492
13K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
The men complaining about T Swift do not hate "being distracted" by the simple existence of women at a football game. We do not hear a single moan from them when TV cameras focus on cheerleaders. What they have a problem with is a woman who is not there to perform *for them.*
217
1K
13K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 year
my mom is an elder Gen X and has never used or probably even heard the term "touch grass" but sometimes I need the reminder that comparing my parenting to the perfect ideals on social media is just... Not Healthy 😅
39
104
13K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
On this frigid and snowy day I am thinking about how, on bad-weather days when I was a child, my dad would sometimes take us kids out to a local museum or to walk around a mall, and how back then I would feel bad for my mom who was home all alone without her 5 loud children. 😆
91
223
12K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
Leaving the park with my kids, we discovered a bunch of guys sitting and smoking on the hood of our car, and I'm proud to report I was Stern* and Confrontational** about it *said "dude!" quietly **pushed the lock button on my key fob to beep the horn and slightly startle them
38
157
12K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
When you were a kid, if you received Christmas gifts from parents, how many did you usually receive? I've heard the phrase "something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read" as a guide today but I'm curious: is this more than what used to be typical?
1K
264
11K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
"MOMMY WOOK, SPOOKY GUY! WHAT HIM NAME?" *me, trying to merge into the turn lane* "Uh, Rudy Giuliani, honey."
13
177
11K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
My 3yo fetched himself a large metal spoon and a saucepan and declared, "Mommy, I going make something." "What will you make?" I asked, playing along. "MUSIC," he cackled. I think I need a spot in the baby book for "first time deliberately doing a bit."
15
244
11K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
My husband took the toddler to get some groceries at Walmart (his idea!) while I stay home with the baby and have some peace and quiet. So sweet & thoughtful. 🥺🥰 Anyway we just got off the phone re: clarification of the grocery list for the 5th time
59
268
11K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
Me washing dishes, wearing rubber gloves: Ouchie. :( Why does the water have to get so hot Me in the shower, turning the left tap as far as it will go: Bliss. Magic. I want to be scalded like a Christmas lobster
19
599
11K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
good morning, Internet.
Tweet media one
171
245
10K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
You may not think I am a woman of great strength of character, but I told my 2yo last night that he couldn't have any more cookies, and he looked me in the eye, bent down and LICKED a cookie on the serving plate in an act of claim-staking defilement and I DID NOT LAUGH
111
261
10K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
Look, I'm just never tweeting about my husband again bc the notifications are too wild. When he broke his dad's cycle and put up some stars on our son's ceiling he went viral for being wholesome, & now he's *checks notes* an emotional abuser for asking me which body wash I want.
139
263
10K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
Last weekend I was talking to someone who is flying halfway across the US to spend Thanksgiving with extended family. She just received a spreadsheet with a sign-up list for dinner items. Am I crazy, or is this crazy? People traveling from far away shouldn't have to bring food!
594
131
10K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
Do you ever like a tweet and then see a bunch of quote tweets disagreeing with it and they actually make a lot more sense and present arguments you hadn't thought of, so you go back and unlike the original but then you feel vaguely guilty about it, or is that just me
112
754
9K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
Reasons My Toddler Cried Tonight included: -he wanted me to cut his toast and so I did and then he lost all semblance of composure because I did not realize I was supposed to cut just the TOAST, not the JAM
157
264
9K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
7 months
I will always and forever be staunchly PRO-BREASTFEEDING. Not because formula is inferior or cannot nourish a baby as well (I do not think this) but for the sake of the MOTHER because I believe in the SANCTITY of an AIRTIGHT EXCUSE to duck out of ANY GIVEN SOCIAL SITUATION.
98
417
9K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
30 days
3yos be like, "awww Mommy I see that you are tired and overstimulated and the kitchen is too hot and dinner is taking forever and the baby is screaming but would you like to hear an intensely loud harmonica solo to top off the experience?"
39
192
9K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
I started reading Bridget Jones' Diary bc I've always heard it was really funny and I love women writing comedy! So I'm two pages in and she's already detailing all her weight loss plans and notes that she weighs 129 pounds. A very good opening joke tbh but the 90s were not okay.
133
126
9K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
"Oh you sweet summer child" implies the existence of a salty winter grownup
176
2K
9K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
I often see suggested reels on IG with some variant of "how we make it work for me to stay home with our kids: no takeout, no manicures, no new clothes, I cut my own hair, etc." I haven't ever seen a video from a dad about the things *he* gives up for a single-income lifestyle.
191
470
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 year
(For reference, my child has been sick AND has a brand-new baby brother so some regressive eating habits are to be expected but a fun thing about my brain is that all these facts get turned into YOU ARE A BAD MOM AND ARE FAILING HIM NUTRITIONALLY)
66
40
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
Only six more punches on Trump's indictment card, and then he'll get a free covfefe
62
1K
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
I consider myself reasonably intelligent but I cannot process How to Play Complex Board Games. You all sound like, "and then if you roll a level-up glitter cabbage you get 6.5 ergometric points, which can be used every 4th turn as long as no one has zorped the Cones of Dunshire"
347
603
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
How to get weird guys out of your DMs, a free online course by Lady Catherine de Bourgh. #janeausteninthedms
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
137
850
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
20 days
Get in losers, we're gonna bust some corset myths. A🧵 Myth 1: not necessarily in so many words but visual! In the gif below we see a woman self-cinching a corset with, apparently, no chemise underneath (to protect the corset from sweat and to protect the skin from chafing)...
Tweet media one
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
22 days
Woke up to a lot of notifications on that historical beauty tweet and I'm kinda wondering if I should do a corset mythbusting post later (Maybe starting with what's wrong with this gif?)
16
5
301
65
1K
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
7 months
Not sure why I am thinking tonight about our elderly neighbor when I was 7, who had giant bountiful pear trees on his property. One day he stopped by unexpectedly with a bushel of pears, and after my mom, surprised and delighted, had thanked him, he handed her a bill for them.
97
179
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
It is shocking to me that there exist, on this good green earth, people who purchase chocolate chips and then just keep them in the pantry until a Baking Time is upon them, and do not scarf them out of hand at random intervals like a ravenous hamster. Anthropology is fascinating.
379
493
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
11 months
Happy Father's Day to every dad who didn't have a good example to follow, but who is, like my husband, breaking the cycle and giving his kids what he needed. ❤️
15
277
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
23 days
Corsets & petticoats once shaped a Desired Silhouette; now we expect the body itself to conform to a Desired Silhouette through diet fads & workouts. We had thick statement makeup trends for The Perfect Face and now The Perfect Face must be achieved through expensive skincare. 1/
31
855
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
Of course they need not be public figures. The giant mummy at Costco is named Steve, for reasons best known to myself.
10
39
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
My latest cancellable opinion is that once you add flavor powder to water it becomes a beverage and you can't reasonably call it water anymore
185
487
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
There are the kind of people who are like "aaahhhh :) time to turn off my brain now :) :) and go to sleep :) :) :)" and then there are the people who ask deeply troubling philosophical and existential questions right before getting into bed, and they marry each other
64
511
8K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 month
No I am not saying "throw the whole man out," but if he's never had occasion to need to keep the baby occupied while showering/using the toilet then maybe you are doing more than your share and there's an opportunity to restructure!
11
78
7K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
What are the ethics of Little Free Libraries? Do you have to leave a book right then if you see a book you want? Or can you come back another time with a deliberate replacement? Or do you just drop off books whenever you can, and take what you like, and trust it'll all even out?
545
183
7K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 year
HE ATE A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH FOR DINNER 🙌 and also apple slices, and, uh, vanilla ice cream so clearly the way to vary the diet is to be dramatic on Twitter! Good to know (recovering from his cold probably helped too) Thank you to everyone being kind on this thread. ❤️
Tweet media one
80
30
7K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 years
"My Confederate flag isn't about hate, it's about honoring my Southern heritage!" Nope. It's a hate symbol, hon. I honor my German heritage by eating sauerkraut and potato salad, not flying a swastika from the back of a butt-ugly pickup. Go eat some cornbread and shut up.
104
1K
7K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
@realgirl_fieri Idk if this counts but I do NOT like it when other parents joke about "boyfriends/girlfriends" or "arranged marriages" between our kids. Even when it's a close friend who has a girl baby who likes to play with my boy baby! It's just icky to me no matter how cutely intentioned.
21
119
7K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
You gotta wonder sometimes if dad jokes are actually just mom jokes repeated by a guy in a louder voice
64
336
7K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
How do I file a discrimination report against a small business? My 3yo is running a restaurant in our living room, & whenever I order orange juice I receive orange juice, but when my husband places the same order he is given "trash juice" and the proprietor laughs uproariously 😭
63
194
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
19 days
My baby in the high chair: Get thee hence, mother. This bottle of filtered water from the ewer of Brita displeaseth me. Take it from my presence! My baby in the bathtub: Ah, sweet nectar of the gods, tap water steeped in soapy buttock, cupped in a broken plastic Easter egg! 😚🤌
58
299
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
Took my boys to get some Valentine stuff at Dollar Tree this morning and my 3yo was being a 3yo and whining for a matchbox car (while holdinga balloon!), and an older woman told him very sternly, "if you don't behave you won't have ANY presents." Please. Do not. Do this. 1/
88
166
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
We went to a public swim at a local-ish pool today and I asked another mom-of-a-toddler where she got her cute swimsuit, and she was delighted to tell me all about Shein dot com and how affordable their stuff is. 💀 And I didn't know know what to say so I said nothing! Aaauuuugh
135
121
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
So many people are dunking on the lady who wants an indoor playground at her library & I'm not gonna add to the fire BUT it is legitimately a lot harder to find free, energy-burning activities for kids when the weather is wet or freezing! What do you do in the winter?
467
165
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
Every time there's an uproar in right-wing Christian circles about ✨️Modesty✨️ I can't help but think of how scandalized some people were in the 1880s and 1890s by the rise of "Mother Hubbard" middle-class fashion (pics below). Want to guess what the Immodesty Objection was?
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
101
563
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
28 days
Me, cackling evilly at new parents saying they're obsessed with their "perfect" infant: oh just you WAIT. In another month you'll love them EVEN MORE. And in a year you'll wonder how you ever loved them as much as THIS. And when they're a TODDLER your love will be EXPONENTIAL and
67
343
6K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
Not dunking on Gilmore Girls specifically (it was the 00s!) but I'm in s1 & Dean just told Rory he likes the fact that she likes to eat; "most girls don't." Ok fine. But he only says this bc Rory is thin! If she were 50 lbs heavier her movie snacks would not be portrayed as cute.
114
117
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
1 year
I really do want to add some pureed veggies. I know this is an option, I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment after just having a baby 😅 (See also: "being dramatic," which someone accused me of in the replies and then promptly blocked me 😂 sorry for the pp hormones SIR)
54
26
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
@TheFoxMatriarch If you as a husband have energy for anything beyond cuddling when you have a baby under 6 weeks old, you aren't helping enough. I said what I said. 💅
23
121
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
Me: what if we snuggled in the rocking chair and I sang you a lullaby and you fell asleep My 7-month-old: what if I kicked you with both my chubby feet in your solar plexus and launched myself backward off the Boppy
15
148
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
Ok, so he'd peel an orange for you. But would he bribe a ne'er-do-well rake into marrying your reckless little sister? Would he ride horseback through thunderstorms to bring your mother to your sickbed?? Would he give up the Avonlea school for you??? Don't settle, ladies
61
437
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
Just saw a back-to-school picture of a friend's kid who is going into 2nd grade, and at the bottom of the little chalkboard prop it said "class of 2034" and I kid you not, my brain thought "oh, so we're just putting made-up nonsense numbers on these things now"
25
176
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
For those asking: Napoleon was 5'7"; average for his time. As for romantic love a) it exists in ancient litetature (the Bible, Greek poetry, etc.) and b) where marriage specifically is concerned I would say there's more nuance to it than a lot of the glib "back then no one...
35
68
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
7 months
Every time I turn on my phone around my 5-month-old, he squeals with glee, & this upset me! Is he ALREADY irresistibly drawn to screens' siren call at this tender age? Am I the Worst Mother? Anyway then I realized my lock screen is a pic of my husband & he's saying hi to Daddy 🥺
15
114
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
How come fast food and coffee have the monopoly on drive-thru shopping? As someone with two little kids in car seats, I think there's an untapped market for fresh produce drive-thrus. I would absolutely pick up strawberries and watermelon during a desperation car nap!
237
198
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
good grief people, this is not weaponized incompetence. WI is doing stuff poorly on purpose so you won't have to do it again. Checking in to make sure you're buying the right things is the opposite of that. I'd much rather talk to the man I love 5 times than get the wrong cheese!
4
146
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
@ozymomdias Ding ding ding It resembled a nightgown too much for some people's taste and was too suggestive of deshabille. Almost every inch of the body was covered and even OBSCURED but MEN MIGHT THINK THOUGHTS!
22
92
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
7 months
Whenever my 3yo says, "Mommy WUVS to have drinks for GROWN-UPS" I feel a mild stab of regret that we chose this term to discourage him from constantly asking to try my seltzer
55
83
5K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
6 months
When my first son was a baby, I fed him only pureed vegetables in his early weeks of table food; no fruit at first, so he wouldn't develop a taste for too much sweet stuff too soon. Anyway my second baby who is 6 months old just licked PopTart crumbs off my now-3yo's fingers.
69
80
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
2 months
Talked to a lovely older lady today who told me how she used a cloth diaper service for her kids: soiled diapers were picked up & returned, clean, to her house. I'd never heard of this! Maybe other people are making things succeed where you can't bc they have support you don't.
416
198
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
3 months
You just know that lady who crocheted the adorable Very Hungry Caterpillar stuffie that went viral is now having to deal with comments about how TVHC glorifies binge eating disorders and she's problematic for perpetuating that
63
152
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
Mutuals, be not freaked out if I like 10-12 of your tweets in a row! I am not a stalker! The algorithm hides my friends from me so I am forced to seek them out in a personally haunting manner like the spirit of a heartbroken Victorian maiden who died of consumption & grief
28
2K
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
What's an online behavior that does no real harm but sets your teeth on edge? Mine is when people answer a question without reading the parameters (like "what are the best indoor activities for toddlers?" "Just let them play in the yard!"), which is making me rethink this tweet.
236
121
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
Tell me why my 3yo sat down at the science museum craft table and said, "Hello, neighbor. Today we are making a art project. Watch me cut carefully with mine scissors. If you get fusstated, take a step back and ask for help!" 🥺
62
103
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
9 months
Far be it from me to toss out marriage advice with the audacity of a podcasting 20yo, but I will say: anticipating the Sunday night mubble-fubbles & setting a recurring 8 pm alarm that says "Rob hasn't done anything wrong; you are just sad" has spared us a LOT of stupid fights.
44
144
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
Seems like budget advice often focuses on ditching feminine-coded, small luxuries like Starbucks (yes men drink it too), but doesn't usually recommend cutting costly cable sports access (which is *largely* for men). Women's treats are disposable while men's hobbies are necessary.
63
320
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
(I consume almost no celebrity relationship content on purpose but I regret to inform you that Twitter has made me painfully aware of the SpongeBob + Ariana Grande debacle)
16
44
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
Love all the suggestions for names and v amused that so many people associate the name Bob with skeletons but my husband's name is Robert so I won't be doing that 🤣
4
9
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
I'm rereading/listening to some of the American Girl books on Libby and man, Valerie Tripp did not mess around. We're like 5 pages into Meet Felicity and already I've learned about how general stores functioned in the 13 colonies, the purpose of a sampler, and what alcoholism is.
40
176
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
17 days
Funny how I've never heard a woman say, "When my son was born I finally realized that men are people! Every man alive is someone's SON, maybe a BROTHER or NEPHEW! I knew I'd do anything to keep my boy safe and that violence against men is NOT OKAY! Ladies can I get an awomen 🙏"
16
398
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
@clhubes My fave kids nutrition acct on IG did a thing about phasing water into juice and SPECIFICALLY said "this video may not be relevant for everyone! If it's not for you, just scroll by!" and 75% of the comments were "weeeeeee just never gave our kids juice iN tHe fIRst pLaCe"
3
35
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
10 months
Thank you for all the helpful quote tweets and replies, I have taken the commentary to heart and will be divorcing my soul mate since he communicates with me too much and our toddler & newborn are too needy. So grateful for all the strangers who told me how to feel about this! /s
6
149
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
4 months
It's not an indictment of women to say that many would rather be alone, happy, and self-fulfilled than to waste time with the men who populate many of the dating apps these days; it's an indictment of men for not making the effort to literally be better than nothing.
86
352
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
...married for love" statements. Across history and varying cultures there have pretty much always been *both* people who married for convenience/money/alliance/arrangement, *and* people who married who they wanted. Today we still see both around the world, too!
11
45
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
8 months
I mean it is definitely true that every person named Bob HAS a skeleton, so even if not all skeletons are Bobs, all Bobs...
9
23
4K
@sewistwrites
Amy Colleen
5 months
Husband: Wait, aren't those the 3yo's KitKats? The potty chart treats? Me, with my mouth full: Last time I checked, I went potty today, WITHOUT PROMPTING and no one had to help me. I have EARNED THESE
16
54
4K