Sturg48 @jcsturgeon Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@Oo_MOKaoO

Sturg48

@jcsturgeon

1 year

@AbeGoldfarb He didn’t like Glass Onion because he said the first hour was all misdirection. Misdirection? In a whodunnit???

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@ChipotleTweets @RonBeehive That's not what this is. It says tips can't be a certain limit. If the warning said "Are you sure? We appreciate your generosity, but wanted to double check in case your finger slipped" your explanation would maybe make sense.

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@TonyJCola @barstoolsports *middle class family saves up for a couple luxuries* Weird haters: “Must be nice to be rich!!!!!”

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@LeftAtLondon @stevozone4_ "Fellas, is it gay to enjoy a refreshing beverage?"

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@coledoman If there is an afterlife I'm pretty sure you get absolutely roasted for dying of preventable disease.

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@meghanttucker The unmitigated gall to express anything other than joy at home made lasagna

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Luiseach This reminds me of how my boss frequently says "deez nuts" because she thinks it means like... "these people are nuts" and none of us have the heart to stop her. We're in too deep!

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Rushzilla I like how noodles and spaghetti are different options but "frozen food" is one.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@coledoman Imagine some peasant from the 1300's making fun of you and being like "I'd have KILLED for a vaccine against the black death and you just decided not to get it? Wtf is wrong with you?"

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@JuMosq If a kid smokes a little weed, they’ve got a “discipline problem” if they belong to a far right militia group? That’s fine.

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@Chinchillazllla @ItsPhetz So you're saying about 10% of the tube?

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@TylerIAm I mean, the fact we even have lawns is a massive waste of money, land and resources.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@KeithOlbermann @Reds I don't understand why people say they're ashamed when they get caught. No you're not. No one who just casually throws around homophobic (or racist) slurs thinks there's anything wrong with it.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@GoblinHestia @GTime78 “I’m Batman and I’m going to KILL THIS ALIEN BECAUSE HE’S DANGEROUS!” “...Martha” “Nevermind! New plan!”

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@CrappyFumes Christ, our parents had it so damn easy.

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@TeslaTomMY1 @kommanderkarl @vassfromearth @verified This meme is so funny because it completely exposes pro-Elon fanboys. They think that the way to win an argument is to have a "dank(er) meme"... but this is just nonsense. Paying for twitter is embarrassing, refusing to pay for it is not.

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@TonyJCola @barstoolsports I promise you that a rich kid isn’t sobbing with gratitude over getting a couple nice things

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@GamerTakes “I love video games made by Blizzard more than I hate rape” is truly the worst gamer take

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@AOC I reckon you were even a better student than the guy Trump paid to write his papers for him.

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@steinkobbe @skyw00kie I like the line "Twitter cannot rely solely on advertisers!" when... they used to and... they should.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@SeanRossSapp It’s crazy that WWE would think fans would side with them here. Good for Sasha and Naomi. I stand with them 100%

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@meghanttucker It was tense and uncomfortable but like... they worked it out? It's all good now. Why are people reacting like this was some massive shared traumatic experience? It's so insane.

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@jcsturgeon

6 years

Wow, Ron Paul went full racist.

Racism Watchdog

@RacismDog

6 years

BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@ANDREWTI It takes balls to open a tweet with "I gotta agree with the racists on this". I mean you HAVE to stick the landing or else. And you did.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@socialistdogmom @queenozymandias Sorry, they think you're trying to eat them and any "affection" they show afterwards is just relief that you reconsidered.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@Chinchillazllla @PeteButtigieg I literally cannot understand why anyone would want the "freedom" to choose their own healthcare. No, please put experts in charge. I literally lack the capacity to choose healthcare, especially if I was literally dying. Who are these people who love their insurance?

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@Chinchillazllla "She agrees that there's no way in hell we are going to pay for anything for this guy's tree." Lol, so you're both wrong. The neighbor is being extremely nice by telling OP that he'll expect him to pay for part of it instead of all of it.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@BornAKang Yeah you have to just order a pizza at that point

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@LisamATC @SeanRossSapp You’re not allowed to leave work if you don’t like how you’re treated? Do you need help? Do you need me to call someone for you?

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@ActNormalOrElse @WSJ I treasured my 30-45 minute drive to work, and the $40 a week I paid in gas. It was so restful to be late and have to decide between being hungry all day, or going through a drive through...

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@jcsturgeon

11 months

@IwriteOK America hasn't been misunderstood this badly since Japan thought we wouldn't be able to quickly rebuild our fleet after Pearl Harbor.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@LisamATC @SeanRossSapp Oh my God. This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. You don’t have to settle for this. Capitalist brainwashing is reversible. Help is available

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@ndrew_lawrence "Sir, how do you respond to those who claim this is the dumbest fucking thing they've ever heard? It's me. I'm people"

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@WBFO Absolutely disgusting. They immediately led with "illegal protest".

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@jcsturgeon

5 years

@JoeNBC And here is Joe to remind everyone that he was a Republican congressman

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@AOC I was born in Maine. Raised in Maine. And witnessed systemic racism in Maine.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

I'm so sick of the Red Sox and Chaim Bloom bargain hunting!! We need to SPEND like a BIG market team!! No more Kevin Millar, David Ortiz, Bill Mueller, Hideki Okajima, Shane Victorino, Mike Napoli, Koji Uehara, Andrew Miller, Mitch Moreland type signings!!

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@retronouns @EmilyGorcenski I imagine a husband holding it up next to the hole and having their spouse cut the corner off.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@ErinInTheMorn @defnotbeka And when someone in this situation kills themselves the parents will say "I was too late! Trans ideology had already corrupted them! If only I viciously emotionally abused them sooner!"

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@HerdULiek @coledoman

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@Chinchillazllla This is just hilarious. “Hey, hey… look at me. You *ARE* worth ruining a marriage over! Any man would be lucky to lose half their assets for you.”

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@Chinchillazllla @jaboukie Oh my God. I taught at a school in a rural CO town that got a Taco Bell and it was the talk of the town.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Chinchillazllla "Actually she did something really bad! I can't find any evidence or remember any specifics. but that doesn't make it any less true!"

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@jcsturgeon

7 years

@atrupar @Lizzs_Lockeroom If only they’d compromised. Like bumping up black people to 4/5ths instead?

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@Mike_Pence @WhiteHouse @pfizer @realDonaldTrump Why are you giving the federal government credit for the work of a private corporation? That's socialism. Also, where's your mask?

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@RowanKaiser @arthur_affect My wedding ring is tungsten and I’ve been thinking about wearing it on a chain instead because I’m terrified of losing a finger let alone… you know.

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@Jackapedia_ Man were we really so hyped for technological advancement back in the 90's that we believed a telescoping pointer on a retractable dog leash handle could scan a photograph and then find the person like it was a dousing rod?

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@jcsturgeon

9 months

@anylaurie16 This seems like something Conan could have made a segment out of.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Chinchillazllla Imagine being like "They wouldn't let me tell this extremely dumb joke that is both deeply unfunny and in bad taste... it simply would have been too dangerous!"

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@jcsturgeon

11 months

@AlecMacGillis

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@okbillybunny Does genderfluid imply the existence of gendersolid and gendergas? (I know that joke doesn't entirely work because fluids are different than liquids, leave me alone, nerds)

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@staceyabrams Um, no. Maybe this nonsense plays in Georgia so, I guess, but every single cop is overpaid

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@cmclymer I can't even imagine the kind of thought process that would lead to someone being like "I didn't want a shit sandwich, but the shit sandwich sales people are just so nice about it! The people offering ice cream are just so rude! I think the choice is clear!"

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@jcsturgeon

7 years

@BillKristol Barack Obama is more knowledgeable than Donald Trump on every subject. I don’t think that’s an exaggeration. I don’t think there’s a single thing Trump knows more about.

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@Matt_Paprocki Did a Ferengi write this?

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@harryamoros @joshnickerson83 He’s an extreme right wing Christian fundamentalist weirdo

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@JomboyMedia It's so funny to watch Yankees fans try and make this seem cool... he wagged his finger like an elderly substitute teacher scolding a girl for being out of dress code.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@AyyoMattyT @KeithOlbermann @Reds "In the intervening 54 minutes, I've come to understand that these types of homophobic comments are harmful and perpetuate hate against vulnerable communities."

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@jcsturgeon

9 months

@JFrankensteiner @mattcolville He was wrong... by not being negative enough. Millennials, by and large, have a worse standard of living than their parents. It didn't wait until Generation Z.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@mikeyoranje88 @coffeespoonie @wuenopues "If you're disabled, just stay home and die or whatever. How dare you go out in public and utilize services."

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Tallsquall @WallE132 No, the slightest bit of affection between two people means they're boning 😵‍💫

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@socialistdogmom @ZaidJilani It will make you feel as healthy as a horse... who has just shat out his intestines.

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@itsginnydi This is true but man alive, I use DnD Beyond for everything.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Chinchillazllla Okay but who is playing Snow White, because…

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@NRA Leftists are actually buying a lot of these guns. Turns out the NRA is more useless and out of touch than I thought.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@MSNBC He rigged an election and now people expect him to know stuff?

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@jcsturgeon

7 months

@scrumble_eggs @TheWapplehouse The husband seemed pretty useless and awful, but then I saw how she handled that whole log cabin situation.

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@ProZD How people actually react to celebrity voices in animated films: 😬

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@jcsturgeon

6 months

@TheWapplehouse @stillgray @elonmusk @KettlebellLife Just imagining Elon playing GTA V and anxiously robbing the bank in the opening. The cops show up and he’s like “Ah, good… I can turn myself in.” But then his co conspirators open fire??? This can’t be right! He sets the controller down as a single tear rolls down his cheek

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Dangerkenny @MKupperman

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@RightWingWatch Seems like things are going super well for him! Not at all like he keeps sinking lower and lower

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@drmistercody Every day we stray further from god's light etc etc

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@fuckyouiquit My parents worked tirelessly at their jobs and still didn't have an extra 140k to show for it. Maybe they're just lazy?

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@fIetcherpeters @PodSaveAmerica Michael: Get rid of The Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@2Cl0udee @coffeespoonie She literally murdered a man in cold blood while he was asleep and the fact that she was released from prison early is one of the grossest miscarriages of justice in recent memory so I really don’t care if some grifters are making money off her (horrible) story 🤷🏻‍♂️

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@socialistdogmom *Milo creepily wielding a razor* "I'm sorry, my dear... I need to become a virgin again. I'm sure you understand!"

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@RebeccaAlan2 @BuzzFeed Not a baby, a zygote. A cluster of cells. A parasite before the point of viability.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@arsheffey @VP @FaceTheNation “Students” aren’t feeling this pressure, they don’t have to pay back loans yet. Working professionals and literal senior citizens are being burdened by these predatory loans decades after payments started. Cancel student loan debt!!

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@jcsturgeon

5 years

@GreekGodOfHops If a coach tells your kid to focus on one sport, that coach has their own interests at heart and not the kids.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@AOC Also, Joe Biden is absolutely not a progressive. Democrats largely ran on a return to the status quo with milquetoast policies from the 80's and lost seats. They'll blame anyone but themselves.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@PFF I don't understand how someone could be a massive star when being utilized a certain way... and they just want to change how they're used. RGIII did this to and I don't understand it.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@BootsRiley I don't think people realize the Pentagon owns trademarks on ALL military symbols, uniforms, patches etc etc... and they can and do refuse to let these symbols be used if they don't like how the military is being portrayed.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@LisamATC @SeanRossSapp If it saved you job a nickel they’d just fire you and they sure wouldn’t give you two weeks to find another job. If you’re treated poorly at work, you should stand up for yourself and throw your weight around a little

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@barrybongss2 Maybe it's the white supremacy that's turning women away...

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@jcsturgeon

1 year

@jordanzakarin @AndyRichter I'm not a big Leno fan. I hate what he did to Conan. There's a chance that this is just a photo op... But is it at all possible he realized the error of his ways and now genuinely supports the strike when he didn't in 2007?

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@DanaSchwartzzz But Dana, he graciously allowed a woman to do something that had nothing to do with him and that he had no say in! What gallantry!

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@cons_owned It's scary to think how people concoct these elaborate fantasies instead of dealing with the truth.

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@LASportsRadio @LoveThePuck "This LA driver?" That's Mark Curry, dammit! Such disrespect.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@vornietom No. Every "positive" interaction with cops has always been "Whew, they were much less of a dick then they are legally allowed to be. Thank goodness!"

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@drmistercody @benshapiro Ben's career is just a constant series of saying completely insane and hateful nonsense and then acting surprised when people act on it.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@CNN Biden is going to get destroyed by Trump. He'll turn all the younger voters away, Trump will buy off independents with a temporary stimulus and that will be that. Unbelievable mismanagement by the Democratic Party.

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@jcsturgeon

5 years

@mashable This is perfect for those times you'd like to wake up dozens of miles from your car.

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@jcsturgeon

5 years

@tedcruz @Bencjacobs @HoustonRockets @dmorey @NBA Urgh, stop making me agree with Ted Cruz, dammit

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@itsginnydi Man I started writing a reply and then I was like "No, I'm probably wrong, I'm the one who needs to improve, not them. I'm an imposter. Why do they even play with me?"

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@drmistercody Cody, they're always encouraging Brandon, an objectively kind thing to do

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@Blurbzzzzzz @JeffSchultzATL @minakimes @AlbertBreer @ProFootballTalk It's so sad that people seem to think any form of quality control is censorship.

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@jcsturgeon

4 years

@CarolLeonnig @CindyBoren The president literally expects people to believe that the chief executive in the country not only inspects their own fucking bomb shelter, but that this was one of the many routine inspections he performs. Total coincidence.

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@jcsturgeon

3 years

@AlexBerenson @chick_in_kiev Imagine attacking someone for being candid about their mental health, writing about it in an effort to help other people and then still thinking you’re the good guy. Nope.

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@jcsturgeon

7 years

@JRockCLE @SI_PeterKing Athletes have ALWAYS been politically active. We just have more access to information now. Politics should be ubiquitous anyway. There should be no escape from it, because self government is the most important part of life.

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@jcsturgeon

2 years

@Ballaban Love a guy who played Doom and the only lesson they took from it was "Being a marine on Mars would be cool"

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