Scrümbled Eggs 🇵🇸 @scrumble_eggs Twitter profile

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Scrümbled Eggs 🇵🇸

2 years

If you enjoy one of my tweets, you can always feel free to drop a buck or two on me to help support my crippling Diet Coke addiction.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Scrümbled Eggs 🇵🇸

@scrumble_eggs

1 month

Fellas, is it gay to love your wife forever?

Lovers’ Guide 💟

@guideforlovers

1 month

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?

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4 months

This cover goes hard.

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3 months

Back in my day this would be straight to VHS and have the worst Dwayne Johnson soundalike you’ve ever heard in your life.

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3 months

First teaser for ‘MOANA 2’ In theaters this November.

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23 days

This guy would’ve loved Twitter.

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1 year

@contactabrother No cap, Katy.

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26 days

Baby boomers: I would die for my country. Millennials: I would die for my cat. Gen Z: I would die.

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6 months

Another amazing mobile game ad.

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3 months

This is just the plot of Ex Machina (2014)

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2 months

I read that back in the day that some people used to think Alex Trebek was black and it sounded crazy but then I saw a picture of him and holy shit

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2 years

@ProjectAuuman @GalaxyPeaBrain I can’t take British dirty talk seriously. “Take me knickers off and have a look at me undercarriage. I’m gagging for it, luv.” “Phwoaarrr. That’s a growler, innit?”

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1 month

@playbynumbers13 They aged. Yes.

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25 days

Every airport should offer a daily one way ‘mystery flight’ that just goes somewhere.

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5 months

@BirdRespecter Ian Miles Cheong blocked me after I reminded him about that time he swatted someone and the cops shot their dog.

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4 months

This is what the European highway system is like.

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1 month

@al_scarr LOL

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3 months

And all the characters would look like this.

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4 months

Spider-Man: I could never kill another person. That would make me just as bad as them. Also Spider-Man:

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17 days

I got my disassociate’s degree.

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1 year

@jakeshieldsajj @VinnyMMA Remember when Ray Cooper stomped you?

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1 year

@FilmUpdates Meanwhile…

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2 months

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! ☘️

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6 months

Which way, Western man?

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6 months

She just left three of her kids with that guy.

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6 months

Look at the funny little stamps on these Thrift Store forks. I wonder where grandpa got these.

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5 months

Jimmy Carter and George Soros at Henry Kissinger’s funeral

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3 months

THIS IS A LEGITIMATE QUESTION

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1 year

BREAKING NEWS: Legendary performer Dick Van Dyke, aged 97, is doing great.

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3 months

@esjesjesj Even the Flat Earth Society is able to dunk on Ian.

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1 month

@al_scarr It’s funny.

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1 month

@playbynumbers13 Let’s see your pic.

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3 months

I wish my intestines liked the same food as my mouth.

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1 year

I used to see this commercial as a kid and assume this level of wealth was unattainable.

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1 month

@playbynumbers13 I bet you’re also single.

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3 months

Excuse me, we don’t put our feet on the skate park in this household.

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1 year

Hold on, let me put on my limited edition Halo 2 promotional condom.

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4 months

If you think Steven Seagal’s action scenes are lazy, then you haven’t seen his sex scenes.

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3 months

@James_Holzhauer This one?

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1 year

@B3nSh4p1ro @edwardodell Ben, be careful. I hear that’s where women keep their p-word.

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28 days

This BMI chart says I’m starting to get too short, how do I fix this?

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3 months

@TAK121300 Not back in my day, which as you will recall, was the very subject of my original post.

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7 months

@SteakFrankhouse I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure if I had to mentor a war veteran with severe PTSD there would probably be better places to take him than a gun range.

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4 months

@TheWapplehouse Imagine dying for a hardware store.

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8 months

Some landlord in Poland divided a single apartment into 25 “rooms” and rented them all out for $320 a month. There’s a special place in Hell just for this man.

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5 months

@esjesjesj I’d report it but Ian blocked me for mentioning that time he swatted a guy and the cops killed his dog.

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3 months

@Iemonsproda This is my favourite ridiculous television scene.

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3 months

@jmilam71591 I think Mulan 2 got the original cast back, or at least most of them. It was terrible though.

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1 year

@cuthbert357 @SLCLunk “Sir, a second a beer can has been thrown.”

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3 months

I post pictures like this occasionally to weed out weak followers.

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3 months

I got the secret ending in Resident Evil 4.

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1 year

@kennedytcooper This is pretty impressive since most chuds struggle to make a proper swastika.

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1 month

@playbynumbers13 Who cares how other people choose to live

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6 months

@wittyrwebhandle The dad is the one playing the game.

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9 months

@avoidthehanoid I remember when TikTok had cool stuff like how to make napalm.

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4 months

@ohshidt You don’t have to lay down your life for Lowe’s.

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3 months

You don’t hear YOLO very much anymore because all the people who used to say it are dead now.

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1 month

@playbynumbers13 Why is that wrong

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1 year

How I would look hanging out with my Twitter followers

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29 days

This goes pretty hard.

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1 month

I’m an idiot (self-diagnosed)

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6 months

@erinthornemusic You live in Ireland

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4 months

Me acting like I’m not currently peeing in the pool.

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3 months

@muddaub Hopefully this one has Willem Dafoe’s freakishly large penis.

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1 month

@playbynumbers13 And you care?

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2 years

@mickvit @AtsukoComedy Even as a kid I knew this scene was something dirty.

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3 months

There’s always one hot dog at 7/11 that’s been rolling there for 13 hours and looks like this now

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3 months

@james32112345 @esjesjesj

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28 days

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

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21 days

Dutch is the funniest language in the world.

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9 months

In memory of Johnny Hardwick, allow me to show you a piece of King of The Hill media you probably haven’t seen.

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2 months

@satanicpos He just had a tan in the 70s.

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3 months

@james32112345 @esjesjesj Stop being a pedophile.

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2 years

@cleoofffilm @TwoNiceTwoLearn VFX artist thinking about how he has to come in on the weekend to touch up the twerk scene:

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6 months

@TheWapplehouse This is actually pretty tame compared to most of them.

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3 months

Going through puberty in the 00s starter pack.

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3 months

Why does everybody on Twitter just assume you’re an American? There’s at least a dozen other countries, you know.

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4 months

Sorry, but all we have is the French Canadian dub of King of The Hill.

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10 months

@ben_rosen *credits* DR. OPPENHEIMER WILL RETURN

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6 months

@TheWapplehouse I always get chills when I see this scene.

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1 year

@ohgeorgeishere @captrawrpants You need to brush up on your Chuck E. Cheese lore. He’s an orphan which a tragic backstory.

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9 months

@MNateShyamalan @benedictsred Which way, western man?

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1 month

“Where’s the money, Lebowski?!”

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3 months

@Bluegatito11 He’s Samoan and Black.

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2 years

A true warrior is always ready.

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2 years

@cardy_ac Put some of that nutkum on my jussipussi.

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5 months

@CampArlington @broadwatertmb Millennials are 30-40 years old now, grandpa.

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6 months

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6 months

@SAMOYEDCORE @Eve_Barlow @rihanna I took a sacred pilgrimage to this tweet.

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1 year

@BigNik Jesus hearing this garbage:

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4 months

Thinking about that time my third cousin asked me if I was DTF.

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6 months

Taylor Swift fans when Jon Voight shows up and tells them to vote Republican.

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2 years

@zorabikangaga @Shinikage221 Every time I think of Grease I think of the one guy who asks John Travolta if she ‘put up a fight’.

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1 month

@docno1r I counter with Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman script.

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1 month

@OnlyAWorldAway “I have seen boobs.”

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1 month

I was not prepared for the end of this video.

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1 year

@MNateShyamalan

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9 months

@AssBoss80085

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2 years

One day before JFK was assassinated:

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4 months

This used to be a free country.

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2 months

@ElijahSchaffer How’s mommy doing

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4 months

@stacycay This lives rent free in my head.

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1 year

Today I was reminded of that time Chris D’Elia found out that people could save Snapchat conversations and you can see him realize just how fucked he is.

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