Ben Rosen @ben_rosen Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@TheShweta

@yaemikolovr

@comicsrep

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@aix_1999

@CissyKityo

@NicoClark_

@Luisalb84061780

@goatseazon

@EngdaDia

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@DaveMcCaig

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@PNCArena

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@chase_the_high

@rfl

@Il_Bandini

@storm_duck

@careerhubt

@HUReinaSofia

@DanHoag_

@AmbrusStudio

@PaulDHorvath

@HornetLaPeuf

@maybemielleidk

@ffbbank

Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

listen, there are responsible gun owners who just enjoying hunting and I want to make it clear that I don’t care at all and they can find literally any other hobby

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

6 years

FOUNDING FATHER: we must always have an electoral college and 2 senators per state ME: ok but what if 40 million people live in california FOUNDING FATHER (spits out tea prepared by a slave): there’s HOW many people in WHAT

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

6 years

THE INFINITY STONES WERE HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

i’m not worried about omicron because i got $1400 a year ago

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

got his ass

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

not a joke, my clippers just died

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

YOUNG PEOPLE: heres some slightly different language you can use to be more inclusive OLD PEOPLE: we are going to burn the entire earth to the ground

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

me (angrier than i’ve ever been in my entire life): no worries, all good!

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

"the government has no business making me wear a mask" i say before i buckle my seatbelt, drive the speed limit to a restaurant built to code, eat food made in a state inspected kitchen, receive the heimlich maneuver from a waiter who learned it from a mandatory workplace poster,

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

extremely cool how teachers have to buy their own supplies and all cops get a captain america shield

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

biden after hearing the mario voice

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

me (too lazy to microwave something): i should support a struggling small business during these unprecedented times

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

this is getting out of hand

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

we found the one thing that makes democrats believe in god and republicans believe in science

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

MARCH COMMERCIAL: during these uncertain times, we’re thinking of you and your family AUGUST COMMERCIAL: look you might as well catch it at burger king

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

maybe jk rowling would have more empathy if she read a book about an unhappy boy who discovered who he really was and began to thrive once he entered a world where he could be himself

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

Welcome to 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗧𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 When you receive 𝟰𝟮𝟬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦 you will earn 𝟭 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞. When you earn 𝟲𝟵 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗦 you can say 𝗔 𝗦𝗟𝗨𝗥

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

REPUBLICANS: i need an assault rifle in case the government ever tries to take away my rights *secret military police start kidnapping people in portland* REPUBLICANS: thank you so much!!!! love you guys!!!!!!

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

5 years

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep! we landed a robot on mars! scientists today: for the last time, the earth is *round*

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

heartbreaking

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

UNCLE: I say this every year but- ME: not this again MOM: we’re NOT talking politics this thanksgiving UNCLE: without luigi there is no waluigi, therefore he is responsible for waluigi’s many sins ME: ARE YOU SAYING WALUIGI HAS NO FREE WILL UNCLE: I SAID WHAT I FUCKING SAID

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

hmm should I spend 2 seconds clicking unsubscribe or 1 second deleting an email from this company every single day for the rest of my life

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

whoa

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

gen z doesn’t understand that before the dominos pizza tracker you had literally no way of knowing the status of your dominos pizza

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

6 years

REPUBLICANS: who can be sure about what happened 36 years ago ALSO REPUBLICANS: when the founding fathers put a comma in this sentence they meant we can have assault rifles

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

big day for MLK quotes with weird ellipses in the middle

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

BREAKING: Jared Kushner has reverted to Doll Form

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

REPUBLICANS: we're having the military throw protesters in unmarked vans DEMOCRATS: mark 👏 the 👏 vans 👏

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

YES! IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

if disney wanted to turn me gay they shouldn’t have given mrs incredible a big honkin christmas ham

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

INTERVIEWER: can you explain this gap in your resume ODYSSEUS: ok it’s actually a really long story

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

every race is like The Democrat has a narrow 50.1-49.9 lead over Republican challenger Gunch Hitler who ran on a platform of exploding everyone

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

Jerry is annoyed his girlfriend only washes her hands the length of the Kit Kat jingle George accuses a co-worker with allergies of having “corona cough” Elaine wants to break up with her boyfriend but he’s quarantined Kramer starts making his own hand sanitizer in his bathtub

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

how can they confirm her after this

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

for father’s day they’re letting all the dads show up to the airport as early as they want. this guy next to me isn’t flying until thursday

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

wanna feel old? charlie from "charlie bit my finger" is now the reigning monarch of the united kingdom

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

11 months

I don’t think AI should be used to make content…BUT…if there were a way for the paw patrol to tell my son by name that if he doesn’t go to bed they will arrest him…

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

they have to say human because of scrooge mcduck

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

ELON MUSK: what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about 457k RTs 1.1M Likes TOP COMMENT: how do you continue to absolutely win the internet good sir 🤣

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

JOHNNY CASH: and you can have it all ME: yes holy shit yes JOHNNY CASH: my empire of dirt ME: no what the fuck

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

1 year

is it true that this is the first line of the movie

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

zoom needs a button that plays wrap it up music like at the oscars

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

it’s crazy that the two main weatherman responsibilities are 1) standing in front of a green screen and reading the temperature 2) surviving a category 5 hurricane

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

BIGGEST TWIST ENDINGS 3) fight club 2) the sixth sense 1) the song “row row row your boat”

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

1 year

*sisyphus on the phone with his parents* yeah i’m actually making a ton of progress with the boulder…no there’s not really like promotions…no yeah I can definitely ask

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

5 years

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims to hate capitalism and yet i count three capital letters in her very own name

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

katie porter has done it again

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

(solemnly) yas queen

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

7 years

ok i hacked into mike pence's email

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

my favorite moment from the beatles doc

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 months

it’s funny that there’s a white football player on a midwestern team with an offensive name dating a blonde haired blue eyed country singer and republicans HATE them

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

1 year

me looking at twitter: this feels like the end of toy story 3 when all the toys accepted their deaths as they approached the incinerator my wife: what the fuck are you talking about

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

yeah I love SNL S tevie N icks singing L andslide

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

The Last Dance just keeps getting better

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

STATLER: say miss piggy’s singing isn’t a half bad WALDORF: yeah…it’s all bad! *kermit starts climbing up to the balcony*

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

oh sure now she reads it

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

me when a dutch baby is holding me at gunpoint:

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

fuck

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

REPUBLICANS: *strip basic rights* DEMOCRATS: *send an email with the subject line “uh oh” asking you to donate $15*

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

*loudly so all the women in my screening of the batman could hear* if my parents were brutally murdered in front of me as a child i would actually go to therapy

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

the best part of being a hitman has to be taking a shower where you place your hands on the wall and let the water run down your face while you ponder the moral ambiguity of your actions

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

10 months

this moment really took me out of the movie

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

fox news is right, i received $1400 once and decided to never work again. why? to ruin the economy of course

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

did anyone else notice a theme with biden's jokes

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

the lincoln project as soon as the election is over

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

wife: I want a divorce me: i think what you mean is you want marriage reform

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

powerful

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

9 months

why are we keeping it a secret where i’m supposed to tap my debit card. why am i slowly sliding it around the screen like i am cracking a safe

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

ME: explain the gamestop thing to me like i'm a little kid *10 minutes later* ME: ......littler

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

thank you to the editor who added a little photo of a toilet for clarity

Page Six

@PageSix

3 years

Meghan Trainor, husband Daryl Sabara have 'toilets next to each other'

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

republicans just said the quiet part loud

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

7 months

i asked my wife where she was going, she said “five nights at freddys.” i said have fun at the movie, she said “what movie?”

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

*elton john tiny dancer voice*

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

early pixar: kids love toys, bugs, and monsters later pixar: kids love reminders that they will die

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

thank 👏 you 👏 katie 👏 porter 👏

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

this paw patrol episode is crazy

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

every picture of fetterman looks like he’s overhearing someone say johnny cash wrote “hurt”

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

5 months

my wife brought me a lemonade. i said, let me guess, it's from panera. she said no, i poisoned it myself

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

6 years

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

i did another one

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

i tell ya, it’s not easy dating a minion. i said i love you, she said banana. i said will you marry me, she said banana. i took her to bed, she said shrimp

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 months

inspector at the baby carrot factory: ok first of all these need to be MUCH wetter

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

this is a really important point

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

terrible

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

1 year

i refuse to believe this guy was born in 2000. that is the face and body of a man who has legally smoked on an airplane

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

6 years

Eighth Grade Eighth Grade 2: Ninth Grade Eighth Grad3: Civil War Eighth Four Eighth Grade 5: Ninth Grade 2 Eighth 6rade: Return to Sixth Grade Seventh Grade F8 of the Grade

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

you’re in her DMs? but she died on this very night 20 years ago….

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

1 year

VITAMIN WATER: we’re like water, but with vitamins ME: which ones VITAMIN WATER: well sugar is a vitamin ME: no it’s not VITAMIN WATER: what about blue

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

4 years

ok he makes a fair point

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

10 months

did you hear this? they changed twitters name to X. uh huh, yeah. and it makes sense because the next thing i said was Y?

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

NILES: and he offered me a red pill or a blue pill FRASIER: which did you take? NILES: i was having steak for dinner so i went with the red

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

some good news

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

1 year

why do these women want to date pete davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

10 months

NO PEPPA PIG! THEYVE IGNORED IMPORTANT SAFETY REGULATIONS!

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

3 years

MONDAY: mass shooting TUESDAY: mass shooting WEDNESDAY: mass shooting THURSDAY: mass shooting FRIDAY: mass shooting SATURDAY: mass shooting SUNDAY: mass shooting REPUBLICANS: we gotta do something about trans people playing sports

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

8 months

my wife calls from burning man, she says she's trapped, she's unhappy, she wants out. yeah, then she told me how bad burning man was

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Ben Rosen

@ben_rosen

2 years

hey just a heads up everyone they’ve perfect the jort

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