Chris Brandenburg @coalitionfunny Twitter profile

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

21 days

CW: I'm Lesbian AF & y'all get to hear about it ALL MONTH! 🫶🏼🧡🤍🩷 #Pride2024

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

The HOA says Gadsden flags are permitted. What do y'all think? #Pride2023

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

6 months

@girlziplocked If I teach young women anything, it's NEVER have a joint bank account. 💜, a GenXer

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@JayHulmePoet @leahmcelrath I've lived in a rural area 4 years & I still haven't found the gay bar, but I know where the church with the rainbow doors is. There's ONE PLACE that's openly denoted safe to the LGBTQ community, and that's vital. Visibility matters. 🙏🏼💜🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@David_Leavitt He's on a headset! He can immediately tell the sound booth what's happening. In the time of that video all sound could've been cut and lights up. I've been crew at places like this. Camera operators ALWAYS have a line to office. They have to so they can hear cues what to film.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@MediocreDave @ErisLovesMovies Righteous kid – 1 Step dad – 0

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@OccupyDemocrats ☝🏼

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry Meanwhile my mom, RIP, told me before I was 16 to "never let a man put his 🍆 in a place he won't put his 👄."

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@David_Leavitt P.S. Any security crew since the 70s that's had more than a 5-minute orientation meeting to get their vests has code words for crowd surge & trample. See: The Who

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

9 months

@ask_aubry Christina Ricci addressed this best:

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@josephmads @PhilipinDC Comedian with a law degree – a highly educated populace always helps.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry Honestly Aubry, if I hadn't been a lesbian before following your account, a week of Nice Guys™️ would've turned me. 💜

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@ask_aubry He's going to be surprised to find out that she's taken this time to inventory the house and has a lawyer.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry I hope her daughter had the courage that I had & finally shouts "I WANT TO WEAR PANTS TO CHURCH SO THE YOUTH PASTOR CAN'T TOUCH MY LEG!"

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@drmistercody My 7th grader had to do a report on a company for social studies; he picked Tesla out of admiration. By the time he finished his research, he was asking his grandfather to change to another solar panel company. He regaled us at dinner with "Did you know..." I was so proud. 🥲

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@drmistercody OMG! He's so panicked about retaining his power that you can see it on his face! His question is really: How do I establish dominance over you without risk to myself? If I'm not confident that I can practice misogyny, I don't know WHO I AM nor where I stand.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 months

@ask_aubry 🚨CW🚨 * * * I had an ex who started demanding daily. So, I lubed up and lay there like I was dead. After 3x I started bringing a book. He lost interest quickly. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@Imposter_Edits 1. The mother had a good endangerment claim. 2. The same thing happened here. Yavapai County Sheriff and Prescott Valley PD killed a suicidal woman ~2 years ago.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 months

@ask_aubry Polyamory only works if everyone feels fairly treated & abides by an ethical set of rules. Note how he speaks only about HIS experience & dating overseas. Did she have other partners? I don't think this was agreed; I think he wanted to get a pass for cheating.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@RachelBitecofer @TrueFactsStated 💯👇🏼

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@duty2warn Do they not have room, in Montana, for 75 more people?

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@Lesdoggg They're are at it again. This is LASD, Lancaster, CA. I've dealt with them personally. They took batons to our voting rights group during the Obama election. @cerisecastle @TizzyEnt @darafaye

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@nhannahjones Can I sue my kid's school for: - Violating his 4th & 5th Amd rights? - Exposing him to COVID-19 daily? - Not teaching him sex ed? - Violating his IEP? - Providing him a substandard education? - Ignoring bullying? cc: @Humboldtunified @JohnPothast

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@ask_aubry 1. That baby hasn't had its first complete round of vaccines yet. INSIST that everyone who enters your home wear an N95. 2. Put the baby on a schedule. REFUSE to vary from it for any reason. These worked to discourage visitors when my spouse became a manchild pp.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@Imposter_Edits 1. Very disciplined cops. Didn't hear a single pop 2. Well trained. They were expecting this 3. Much to unpack from US perspective 4. SO CULTY

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

6 months

@ask_aubry Reading between the lines: Younger brother, teases about age gap, no respect for known sleep disorder, possible crush on bro's gf, NYE substances – Attempted assault

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

7 months

@TizzyEnt My brother works there. Approx ½ the people who rent wheelchairs do so for handicapped line jumping. Drives cast members nuts.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@MittRomney As a gentle who grew up in an LDS city, I trusted that there were lines you WOULD NOT CROSS, Sen. Romney. I still do. Please take the final step and stand with Reps Cheney and Kinzinger *fully* in the Senate. If your honor doesn't compel you, your faith does. ✨️

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@acteduweininger Dude, just admit you can't find it.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@ask_aubry This is why they don't hire men at morgues.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry He's right about one point: my grandmother & mom sat me down right after HS graduation and told me that they'd fallen for "men earn, women serve," and if I did that shit, they'd kick my ass. I really miss those women. 💜💪🏼

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@patriottakes It's not as crazy as it first appears. It's a map of how to disseminate the BL, relative platform strengths, and groupings of types of media personalities & functions. There's QAnon crap mixed in, but it's a propaganda/soc media blitz marketing campaign backed up by Bible BS.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@cryborg @Acyn I'm gonna wear this out today:

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

10 months

@ask_aubry I was once made the other woman without my consent. Once I found out, I made sure the wife did, too. I'm nobody's side piece.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry Naturally, Daniel's stops and considers every woman with a 23-point list.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

5 months

@ask_aubry She was only a LADY lawyer, so all those emotions would take over and she'd to what she was told.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

5 months

@IanFortey I can't actually watch, but this is where my white privilege comes to the fore, mixed with a heaping helping of 50+ woman scolding. NO ONE stops a screeching white lady. Use THE KAREN for good.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@DCDoc33 @leahmcelrath Good for her. I'm immunocompromised and live in a 3-generation household within a < 50% vaccinated community. Not everyone is so entitled.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

7 months

@BettyBowers In telling ya, if I were in congress, she'd have a xerox of Sherman on her door every morning. I'm that #petty .

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@ImSpeaking13 ATTN: Whoever "borrowed" the Epstein rolodex must return it by start of the meeting. We need it for the quarterly fundraising mailers. Management

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@lindyli 1. Who broke the spies list? I don't trust Maggie. 2. WTF was in the coffin of the cremated Ivana? 3. Have GOP worshipers been muling docs from Mar-A-Lago since 1/21?

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

7 months

@ImSpeaking13 Helmets are now MANDATORY for soup can softball. Take your "nanny state" complaints to the legal department. Congratulations to Deborah, who will be fact finding on the "Dangers of Alliterative Names" in Canada. Support your local taqueria.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@MysterySolvent Felony child endangerment.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@mtgreenee A freshman "warns" her new boss? What an arrogant bitch.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@antifaoperative Do they have a factory?

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@JustinC54495022 @CraigNJ66 @CBSSacramento @brooklynmarie Don't forget photo alt info for the visually impaired.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@atrupar Like 🌈 are the problem ...

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

5 months

@ask_aubry The hypocrisy astounds me.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@AriBerman @leahmcelrath Like the AZ proposal of one polling place per reservation, no drop boxes. One? In the Navajo, Pueblo, or Apache nation? Those are larger than some states. 🤬

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@patriottakes I'm making sure we all wear masks because he's elderly and has exacerbating conditions for COVID-19. I'm not gonna be the one to kill Santa!

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

5 years

@KateFlood @drmistercody It's that damned "American Dream" and the myth of a classless society that are the culprits here. Many of The Base™©® truly believe that ANYONE can become a billionaire if they work hard enough & are far right-winged enough, refusing to believe that nepotism or fake bios exist.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@TheOnion It's even better on the inside.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@lindyli Amd. Yovanovich and Dr. Fiona Hill ...

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry 🤢

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@brionneeley I wish. I've been fined two years in a row for pride flags displayed during June. I am still appealing under a "holiday decoration clause" for one violation. The background still might ding me.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@Questergirl @ask_aubry I've seen men on those. They can't make it past 7 on the dial without tapping out. In one I saw, men were writhing in agony with cramps, then the facilitator said, "Okay, now get to work" and had them perform office tasks. They could barely walk!

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@johnpavlovitz "Daniel" – Elton John

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@patriottakes Historical fact check: GenX young women did NOT do this during the AIDS crisis for some odd reason. We did, however, pray for a vaccine.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@TheLiberalPoet Creeper on the Reaper?

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

11 months

@thedailybeast If that name isn't irony...

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@TizzyEnt That was an OG skin & carried himself as such. @LCRWnews can you pass this to PNW? This guy had to have come up against someone with a good memory. 💜

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

5 years

@SouthPoint1000 @MalcolmNance Of course they're fully aware; Mueller only said he couldn't find enough evidence to conclude "beyond a reasonable doubt" that 45* conspired, NOT that there wasn't ANY evidence.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@lindyli My family if BBB passes: ‐ Insulin savings will pay our yearly property tax - CTC pays for my #ActuallyAutistic son's clothing, toys, music lessons, extra therapy - Child care will allow me to attend the single year of comm coll I need to re-career to support my family.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 month

@ask_aubry Getting divorced while pregnant is illegal in Missouri, too. It's almost like there's a plan. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@az_rww This is PHX PD folx – always aggressive, never a warning, always overreact. They aren't done, either.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@MartyTa94849826 Has anyone gotten comments from @DollyParton or @taylorswift13 yet? Protest tourist destinations. Shut the TN summer economy DOWN.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

11 months

@ask_aubry He can stop looking at her thighs and apply the #RockRule for all workplace encounters with women. Rock Rule: Don't treat women any differed than you'd treat The Rock. Would you slap his 🍑? Tell him to get you ☕️? Take credit for his work?

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

Duh, this is the link

Don't Tread on Me (Gadsden) Rainbow Flag 3x5ft

Boldly show off your pride with a Don't Tread on Me (Gadsden) Rainbow flag today! This 3x5ft Don't Tread on Me Gadsden Rainbow flag features the traditional Gadsden flag design of a coiled snake with...

radpride.com

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@dunshee_susan @l_melo_h That's cops. With DV rates at 40% higher than the national average, we can't expect them to help us. What if our abuser is another cop? 🤬

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@davenewworld_2 👇🏼

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry So, by this logic, a 🌟 lesbian is the most sane variety of woman, no?

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@patriottakes The A.I. would like to thank y'all for putting your faces in the forever machine. Have a nice day! 🙂

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 month

@ask_aubry My elementary school kept this on the "boys" shelf with games like Stratego and RISK. I ended that sh¡t with the classroom uprising of 1975. ✊🏼

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@thegoodgodabove Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Swollen Balls

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

7 months

FYI: #Klonopin is a low half-life benzodiazapine, or mild tranquilizer, that's used for anxiety & considered generally safe.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@BettyBowers @superloafcat I almost didn't qualify because (I thought wisely) used my last cash in the world when I knew homelessness was inevitable to pay off my car. Yikes! I own a < than 2 year old car outright! 😱 But nothing else. I was eating every other day so my kid didn't miss meals. Diet plan!👍🏼

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

4 months

@worsematt Meanwhile, actual sticker on a light pole in my rural area:

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

5 years

@atDavidHoffman @Jaime4ou @ChooCaboose @MSNBC @maddow The fundamental difference is simple: liberals care about people they've never met & will never meet. I have no patience with people whose compassion ends at their nose (or their family's). Can't live in a way that deliberately mitigates as much harm to others as possible? GTFO

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@RetroCrone @PHXIndivisible Yes! I didn't think of it but 💯 Boys, too! Some sex pest on you, come on up, call me mom. I got you.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

6 years

@nypost "They arrested Trump?"

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry Law enforcement. America cares more about policing others than privacy.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@emrazz My dad's always doing this to me, wondering why I get harassed and he doesn't. "Because upper body strength & 6'2" & you look like a cop!" What an amazingly sort of entitled way to go through the world.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

7 months

@ask_aubry Sean Connery makes the People cover @ 70+ – "Ooh, he's so distinguished!" Margot Robbie @ 35 – "HAG!"

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@Lexialex @leahmcelrath

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@ask_aubry

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@LindseyGrahamSC @TGowdySC @FoxNews Face a real reporter, then maybe.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

6 months

@patriottakes She's not even original...

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@Out5p0ken @WHCOS Yass! "Guess what your kid did?" So him. Never forgets everyone's a person with family.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@PoliticalSister Because I live in AZ.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

3 years

@Annatar34381343 @theoregonnanny Politics, Forbes 500, etc.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@daveweigel "Back to Bryant" messaging. They did this in the 70s, going so far as to try to get LGBTQ teachers outlawed in CA. Harvey Milk helped spearhead opposition. It's lowest common denominator trolling.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 years

@sfpelosi @TheDemCoalition Where do they get off saying Camp David = vacation? That's disingenuous on its face; it's the WH with trees & bike trails. POTUS has yet to take a non-working vacation of any kind. #GOPLiesAboutEverything

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

2 months

@antifaoperative Viagra & Plan B? What a psychological and legal shovel. Not only proves complete premeditation, but intent to conceal evidence of his crime after the fact. Wow.

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny

1 year

@patriottakes Send that woman a coupon!

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Chris Brandenburg

@coalitionfunny