annie b @annie_ebee Twitter profile

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

humans were never meant to know what this many people think about the weather

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

my boyfriend called cava “people chow” and, side by side with a bowl of farmer’s dog dog food, he is very tragically right

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

@esthercrawford @TwitterBlue what if u just gave some people 2 blue checkmarks. and then if ppl want more checkmarks they can keep paying $8 and get more checkmarks. maybe let people buy as many as 10 or so checkmarks? i think i have solved your problems.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

9 months

i personally did not like schitt’s creek at all and didn’t feel like it was worth it to get to the alleged “good parts”

Trevor Fraley

@illustrevor

9 months

What sitcom opinion will have you like this???

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 years

@lil_morgy look i’ve been on the receiving end of some very bad song lyrics, i would love a git branch named after me, whatever that means

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@crulge he posted an apology letter 💀

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@amil @offbeatorbit "silent reading" is what one of my elementary school teachers called it to differentiate it from reading out loud, which was the only way we, as children, knew how to read up til that point

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

american kestrel hanging out on the ledge outside my office in soho @BirdCentralPark

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 years

@jackies_backie “yes, so i could be the gender who has abortions” is gonna be one of those sentences that i can’t stop thinking about for years i just know it, thank you

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annie b

@annie_ebee

7 months

@ihatejoelkim my dad asked me if i thought trump would win again the other night after i took an edible and i was just like “I CANT TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW” and i won

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 years

jan 2020 may 19 2020

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

@esthercrawford @TwitterBlue i will accept anything upwards of $9 million dollars for this idea, thank you.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

herbs should be free if you only need a little bit. like i just want like 3 basil leaves. that’s not bankrupting anyone.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

a few weeks ago my landlord asked when/what time im moving out so the people moving in can schedule their movers & i told him 9-10 AM on sat. saw one of the girls moving in & she said they scheduled their movers for 9 AM too. girl what do you think is going to happen tomorrow.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@RaxKingIsDead “kenneth, a word?” “balloon!”

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

every weird kind of awkward guy in new york city currently en route to help john wilson push his car out of the ice hole

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

there's no need to defend cava or slop generally; that was my lunch today and it'll be my lunch again in the future.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@coolp1np it’s crazy how so many people don’t seem to know that you can just Not Post

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 years

for everyone lamenting the death of Real New York: today a guy sat next to me on the subway with a not-insignificant amount of blood on his hands that he did NOT clean off but DID proceed to drink a bud light that he had in his backpack

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

@SamAdlerBell also that she considers “looking at my packages”, in an apartment building, to be nosy

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 years

@imjasondiamond kathleen hanna & ad-rock, easy

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 years

@Lubchansky

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@JayElHarris and what's up with the "this is why there's so many broken homes." the divorce rate has been in decline for years. did he just copy all his talking points from like, 90s religious zealotry?

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annie b

@annie_ebee

5 years

summer was invented 20 years ago today

Stereogum

@stereogum

5 years

"Steal My Sunshine" came out 20 years ago today

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annie b

@annie_ebee

7 months

@Seamus_Malek literally got in an argument with someone pro-israel the other day where they told me i can’t trust al jazeera/haaretz/the press generally and when i asked where to get information they said “US government intelligence”

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

@Remember_Sarah my friend’s mom was getting rid of a bunch of cookbooks when we were in high school and i had to take this one. i’ve never made anything out of it but it’s amazing

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annie b

@annie_ebee

5 years

@Nicole_Cliffe i talked to a HS english/theater teacher at my brother's graduation 3 years ago & told her i was working as an office manager and she said "i thought you'd be doing something cooler" and it's like well, my primary mistake was going to a very expensive school without rich parents

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

@willystaley famously oppressed class ballerinas here to say "no more" to cheap imitations of their culture

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 years

@rachelpegram @Nicole_Cliffe ok so we had this book but i never actually read it but until this moment i thought the three people on the cover were named sarah, plain, and tall. not that sarah was both plain & tall.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

AND she said they don’t have to move out tomorrow! but no! schedule your movers on the same day at the same time, that’s gonna be so fun for everyone involved. fucking moron.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@pizzalawyer420 @punished_cait fellas is it gay for a child to have a friend

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

my movers are hotter

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annie b

@annie_ebee

7 years

@Nicole_Cliffe @evilmallelis @DeepOmega i kinda want to know about the 72 tweets between these three but it’s also good as is

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

please be kind to the quirky girls in your life today, they're dealing with a huge loss (fashion brand company)

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@bananafitz and they don’t even have to ever know where you live!

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@KaylaAncrum look the material conditions of the world around us are deteriorating every day; dance on a platform until you physically can’t.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@shivilly people pretending to be newscasters straight-faced saying stuff like "the journalist was believed to have been unalived by military forces" makes me want to put my head through glass

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annie b

@annie_ebee

8 months

@FranziaMom oh god once i went to a show in a public garden and similarly there was no bathroom on site BUT was told there was one across the street. my friend & i assumed in someone’s apartment. turns out it was an unlocked porta potty on a construction site.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

10 months

@theashleyray omg yes this would make the show good if carrie suddenly was like “…..what if you had three great loves…..”

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 months

@davidgross_man always love the "this person doing something extreme in the name of their strongly-held beliefs actually pushed someone who already held the opposite ideas to be worse" defense.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@amil oh i figured as much. yet another reason to be haunted by her lifestyle.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@JayElHarris seriously!! i was shocked that one of the big complaints was “it’s $100 for ubers round trip” why are you taking ubers before three in the morning or if you’re not late

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annie b

@annie_ebee

5 years

@anxietymachine have you heard how many fundraising drives they have?? they can’t afford a bigger desk!

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annie b

@annie_ebee

9 months

k muting this now lol. solidarity with my fellow people who did not like schitt’s creek. i don’t dislike you if you like it. the shows you like have no bearing on you as a person. we could probably be good friends despite our differences. have a great weekend, stay safe out there

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@_pem_pem do you remember waving??

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

don’t watch baseball but saw a video of someone climbing a telephone pole and knew something good had happened to the city of philadelphia

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 years

@Fr1sbee do they know they can just write fanfiction

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@Boringstein whenever i see the moon during the day i think “you dumb moon! don’t you know it’s day!” so gotta go with buzz aldrin

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 years

@Nicole_Cliffe once when i worked retail i had a very long, jokey interaction with a VERY handsome customer & at the end he asked me "what are you doing tonight?" & i said "oh, i'm closing!" or smthng like that & he left & my coworker immediately turned to me and said "he was asking you out!"

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@mrhamburgerbuns i mean there’s a reason i keep going back (to cava)

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annie b

@annie_ebee

7 years

kinda funny how now gotye is...somebody we used to know

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

for anyone wondering: you are seen. you are heard. you are in my kitchen smashing pots and pans around. you are making a big mess. please stop. get out of my house.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

10 months

@JayElHarris like the public, and her public for sure more than the general public, KNOWS abt IVF/surrogates/etc. cool yr jets, kids

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@jhermann starring, written, and directed by

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

finally new york city has a store entirely devoted to dick shaped waffles.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

7 years

@rachelmillman i'm sorry can we also talk about how he & his wife had THREE CHILDREN while being held hostage

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

looked up who the openers are for this show, expecting maybe it was some little-known toronto band of fuckboys and it seems this tweet is referring to broken social scene

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

had gotten up at 7 today too bc at 9:30 last night one of them texts me “hey i’m gonna be coming by with optimum between 8-11 tomorrow sorry i didn’t text you sooner” i still fuckin live here jesus

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annie b

@annie_ebee

9 months

@pallendromeda same!!! i watched like half the first season and gave up and then everyone was like “no it doesn’t get good until later seasons” and it was just like ok but like i do not like these characters at ALL i can’t do another season

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 years

it’s cool that ash wednesday is also valentine’s day this year. just a casual reminder that no matter what your relationship status, we all eventually turn to dust.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

if i had a dollar for every giant diamond engagement ring i’ve seen on the subway i could buy my own giant diamond engagement ring

naomi

@lachancenaomi27

1 year

This is always funny to me partly because you can still see the diamond

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annie b

@annie_ebee

11 months

@CRVNE_eth @2comaby21 @summerahrens dude the .eth in your profile might as well mean “ethered” at this point. take the L man, there’s no coming back.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

who could’ve predicted that

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@newrulesnewlife right?? like yesterday i had to tell them “please keep the stuff you’re bringing over in the empty bedroom so our stuff doesn’t get mixed up” and they were like ohhhh. not smart!!!!

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annie b

@annie_ebee

10 months

@CartoonsHateHer yeah whenever i see people asking for advice on things like "the guy i'm dating has slept with a lot of women, should i dump him" "he's friends with his ex should i dump him" it's just like i think those answers are up for you alone to decide

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@quesador I mean I'm certainly not (no dog; not made of money) but the option is there for people who need an alternative to just setting cash on fire.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 years

addicted to buying silly little outfits that i may wind up not ever wearing in public oh well twitter is the in public of the internet

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annie b

@annie_ebee

8 months

they were taking up the whole ass sidewalk in those nightmare outfits people are busy

garçon

@boymolish

8 months

It’s sad how people this rude exist 🤦🏾‍♂️

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@lingerie_addict in addition to the 2023 version of finding out the pioneer woman is wealthy where we all found out her husband’s family were bad guys in the osage reign of terror

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

boys chat is talking about hair loss & possible preventative measures. all i have to contribute is that my boyfriend started shaving his head once his hair started thinning & i think he looks great.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

@RaxKingIsDead once i was hanging out with a guy and he put on cool hand luke and was like “i’m not sure why i decided to put on a movie with the most handsome man who ever lived tonight, not doing a lot for myself here”

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

on a date a guy asked me my favorite food & i said ice cream & he goes no not what i meant & goes on to tell me this emotional story abt a specific dish his mom makes & was like "you know, like that" and it was just like oh yeah no i don't feel that way abt food, still ice cream

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@ambernoelle i'm mad this is an advice column letter and not, like, AITA because that ONE detail is going to bother me the entire rest of the day and i will probably never find out why and how this man has been supporting her & her family for years.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 years

@MunaAlshamsi @Crazy_Copt omg this reminded me - a couple years ago i was hanging out w a group. this girl had been on a trip around europe and was telling us that she was so disappointed abt how everything in munich & berlin was built in the 50s. it was like girl do you know what happened in germany???

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

there’s an italian greyhound on the train i’m on and eeeeeveryone is making little faces at it like it’s a baby but i know the truth. that’s the ghost of a dead horse.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

accepted a job offer & negotiated up my salary & equity for the first time and also took an additional week off beyond their proposed start date (1/3) to have more fuck around time without the whole “hey bitch u need a job” aura hanging over me 🥳 MERRY CHRISTMAS 2 ME

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

every ten years an irish band/musician gets big in the US w songs about irish problems 2020s - fontaines dc (economy; corruption) 10s - hozier (church) 00s - enya (fairies) 90s - cranberries (the troubles) 80s - u2 (the troubles) 70s - thin lizzy (the boys being back in town)

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annie b

@annie_ebee

5 years

@rachsyme my grandma was a good catholic and never took the lord's name in vain so when she got exasperated she'd say "oh my godfrey"

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annie b

@annie_ebee

8 months

@marara_one @kirawontmiss have you ever had bed bugs

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

had given them the OK to move some stuff over early but by 7 told them that was it for the night & one of therm’s like “ummmm…can we bring over a bit more?” and it was like no you hired movers that’s what you’re paying them for.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 years

mad and eating soup.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

i haven’t pronounced the word marshmallow the same since

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annie b

@annie_ebee

9 months

@ambernoelle

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@clhubes oh man, once i sold an old ikea rocking chair for $10 (that a roommate & i had bought for $30 a few years earlier) and IMMEDIATELY the person i sold it to re-listed it for $50. used my photos & everything.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

7 years

6:15 am this dude's just watching men in black at full volume

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 years

listening to a lot of U2, hoping bono takes the stage soon and opens his jacket to reveal a flag and end coronavirus, just as he did nearly 20 years ago, thus ending 9/11. bono pls.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

9 months

@annieroooney literally always an instant pass if they make a point to talk about how ~progressive~ they are

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annie b

@annie_ebee

3 years

the staff at hart’s woke up and decided to incite “a hotdog is a sandwich” discourse today

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 years

@Nicole_Cliffe i order an app and he gets his big meal, takes like two bites, then says “i’m full. i don’t really eat a lot.” when the time comes to pay his card gets declined so i pay for everything. on the way out, he leaves his leftovers on the curb.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 months

@richard_normal nothing better than getting the boys together and sitting in silence

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annie b

@annie_ebee

10 months

people from state fair states love to dunk on the northeast for our lack of state fairs, but look at this. your state fair god - a false idol. a ruse. not worth beholding with any sort of reverence or esteem.

217Problems

@217Problems

10 months

RIP the 2023 butter cow 🧈🐄

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annie b

@annie_ebee

5 years

@BrandyLJensen was deeply disappointed to discover that expensive shampoo makes a noticeable, more beautiful, difference

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annie b

@annie_ebee

4 months

@thetolerantweft i always lock eyes with people who clearly thought they were gonna be able to just roll through the stop sign. not today bitch! i will slow down until you come to a full stop!!!

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annie b

@annie_ebee

10 months

and people who work from office scroll all day & do 2-3 hours of tasks

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annie b

@annie_ebee

6 months

@offbeatorbit no way she's getting through all that without most of it going bad

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annie b

@annie_ebee

9 months

@22amb22 @pallendromeda Are you on their payroll or something? I didn't even say the show was irredeemably bad, just that I didn't like it. My disliking it has no bearing on anyone else's enjoyment of it, nor do I care how they feel about it - I have plenty of friends who love it. It just wasn't for me.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

alright so in the past i’ve been quite the hater around the concept of “having a boyfriend.” but i get it now. it’s nice to have a guy who’ll eat sandwiches with you and help carry bags. good stuff. sorry to anyone who i may have offended in the past for my previous stance.

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annie b

@annie_ebee

2 years

more women in tech so that someone in this office will acknowledge that i got a haircut and it looks nice

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@punished_cait god the entitlement people feel to use others as their content is so scary. i saw a video where someone made a video making fun of people asking not to be filmed & one person dared to say not everyone likes it & ALL the replies were “WHY DO YOU HATE FUN”

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annie b

@annie_ebee

1 year

@Wifesucker lol when she was complaining about the permanently dusty corners my thought was “well then just don’t look at them”

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annie b

@annie_ebee

11 months

@RaxKingIsDead this is why 22 year olds think being in your 30s is like having one foot in the grave

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