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Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women Profile
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women

@MaladyMartti

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443
Following
2,675
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24,382
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I’M WITH HER! Read my nonsense: ATTACK OF THE ROM-COM & LYSSA STRATA + @mcsweeneys @The_Belladonnas @slackjaw @weeklyhumorist @robotbutt | She/Hers

Hell-Aye
Joined March 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 month
I Wrote a Book About Angry Women. On Purpose and Everything.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@guttersniper @_lanabelle May his hair be shiny and his step, free of Legos.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@chel_c_cam @spelumbia That’s so inspiring. I truly hope I can screw a corporation that thoroughly someday.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@solargroovy @RobertKazinsky @Atrios A check mark isn’t a guarantee of goodness. It’s a guarantee that the account owner is who it says it is. Ta da.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
@sheologian A salad. She ate a whole. Salad. A salad. A salad. This shit is why I cannot cry when men wail that they’re lonely.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
This is the most beautiful screen cap I have ever seen.
@notcapnamerica
chris evans
1 year
IM SCREAMING
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Mike_Hixenbaugh Um, well, it’s not self-defense if he texted his white supremacist friends beforehand that his literal intention was to murder a BLM protestor. Gee, what a puzzle.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
8 months
@Brandi_NE Dear God no. If being an amazing seamstress is so easy and worthless, then they can do it themselves.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 months
@DASCOM2022 @naretevduorp Here is the nonsensical whining of someone whose rights will never be given away. Somehow, class treasurer elections never stripped me of control over my own body. You’re a liar.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
10 months
@ask_aubry “But if the sex store is open, me get sex right?! There’s a checklist of everything she’s ever done, and I’m owed everything because she’s a commodity and not a person.”
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@emily_murnane It moves so beautifully, like a parade float made of self-hatred and bad taste 💫
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 months
@_celia_bedelia_ @Hoppinghops I used to be in 7-9 level of pain every single fucking day of my life except for 4-5 days a month. That's it. PMS lasted 12-14 days. TWO. WEEKS. It was an unmitigated nightmare. Any girlie who wants to wail that I'm oBliGatEd to deal with that? I wish that hell upon her.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
11 months
@AngryBlackLady Schrödinger’s fetus: When a woman can be punished, it’s a human being. When men have to pay, it’s not.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@ButNotTheCity Women to These Dudes: Wash your ass. These Dudes: NOOOOooOooOO WHY DO YOU HATE MEN???
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@WardropeJerome @notcapnamerica Jerome, which of the things you listed is a capital offense?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
8 months
50 years ago today, the greatest comedy of all time was released: BLAZING SADDLES! It's a genius work of anti-racism from the brilliant minds of Richard Pryor and Mel Brooks, and I got in trouble for quoting it in grade school. Proudly!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@linluv5 That’s called “designed by a man.” What a terrible “feature.”
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
@AngryBlackLady Yup. These are the same folks who vote to murder women who have ectopic pregnancies. I’m so tired of them shrieking about women’s sports because they care sO MuCh.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
@ask_aubry Oh, wow, I can just “give you head” after I’ve told you to piss off? WOW?! I feel like a Disney princess!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@worldwidesteez @marliejay_ Nope. A lot of people survive plane crashes. And damn right it is because the flight crew risked their lives.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@ask_aubry Help! I can’t read that, there are too many sperms in my eyeballs!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@jemelehill Nick really thought he had a Big Thought there huh.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 years
@notochordate @sgrubermiller I'm 5' tall and have ridiculous short legs. NOBODY should be allowed to play basketball if they're taller than I am! IT'S NOT FAAAAAAIIIIRRRRR.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
8 months
@JessPected I reject the concept of "misandry" on its face. It's as real as "reverse racism" or the Loch Ness Monster.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
11 months
@ask_aubry @Tarde_WaterBear Women who hate themselves to other women: "Just keep hating yourself, that's what I do!"
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@writingoutlook Absolutely not. Creatives, including writers, deserve to get PAID for our art! If my publisher is making money, I should, too. Art is not charity. And artists are not worth nothing.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@ask_aubry Virgin ladies—never, ever be with a man who makes a big deal out of your virginity. He’ll be bad in bed anyway. And in life.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@DetectiveChunks @domsberner @girl_who_balls @TTPDknitter @loveitorleaveus Guess those of us who can’t have kids should just throw ourselves off Mount Misogyny.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
10 months
@ask_aubry "But why are men lonely and being avoided like the plague by women?"
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
I'm a little breathless at how true this is. Imagine if we didn't have to live our lives this way?
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@JessicaValenti
Jessica Valenti
2 years
Do women really have more ‘emotional intelligence’ or are we just trying not to get killed?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@notcapnamerica We live next to a park. Even through the huge stone wall and fence, I can hear dads shrieking and cursing at their very small children over sports. It’s absolutely horrifying.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
8 months
@ask_aubry "which made me feel lonely" THIS is the real tragedy, folks. A shitstain was MADE to feel feelings by a wonderful human who died tragically no bigs.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
9 months
@ask_aubry The second time someone tries to enter my room without permission, I'm calling 9-1-1. Let him explain.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@skeatings Ha! She wears it well!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Jezebel How many kids is he down to who still speak to him?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@KatieKlocksin @erinbiba The perfect time for everyone to pretend is doesn’t exist anymore!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Leslieoo7 @iamyesyouareno I’m disturbed I can’t tell who is a daughter and who is a child bride.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 years
@KenTremendous Yup. This law is a domestic abuser's dream. Wonder how many in the TX lege fit that bill?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
10 months
@ask_aubry No, no, see--knowledge of comic books is stored in the testicles, alongside science, maths, and how to take out the garbage after being asked 14 times.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 years
@AngryBlackLady Just gonna give Stacey Abrams my bank login info. Let her take it all and do her good work.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@HazeyDaisey17 @1_john_2_27 How do they think they’re so amazing when they can’t form a cogent argument based in reality?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
6 months
@bandrui0 @ask_aubry “How am I supposed to know that the baby being covered in feces is bad????”
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
10 months
@ask_aubry “She had headphones in; refused to meet my eye; and wore a tee emblazoned with ‘leave me alone, dudes, don’t bother me, I won’t go out with you, no, really.” What the hell does that mean?!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@thejb_stan Even in WWII. I used to make costumes for theatre, and we’d get donations of entire sets of officer clothing and such. They fit me. I’m 5’ tall. The actors they cast as military dudebros were all huge, and none of the real vintage would fit them. Our great-grandpas were wee.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Todd_Spence Good thing he doesn't need writers.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@Maladroithe @jbrown3079 I also bet people will add a bunch of walls again. I’m so glad my galley kitchen still exists—I don’t want to look at it from the living room.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@forcd2tweet @CallMeCDubbs @Imposter_Edits Yup. This pathetic thing is too much of a coward to admit he booked incorrectly and/or that he’s too dim to understand what a pull-out couch is. He legit doesn’t understand. Wow.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@ask_aubry “Heeeey baby. Remember how fat you were last year at the beach? And are now? Look at the athletic physique of that woman. Don’t sabotage me by being a mom-whale!!! I’m a great guy.”
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 months
@IAmNikkiSavoy @scasswriting Well, you wouldn’t want to argue and create acrimony in a loving relationship 😆
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
8 months
@AKBrews Help…meeee…
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 years
@AngryBlackLady * Ghosts * Spanish olives * My cat, Otis
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@kis_isaac @Allieraine_ @TheWapplehouse I just love it when I'm reminded one more time that because I'm not a mother I deserve to die, go to jail. and everything else the worthless women get.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@NMalone8 @notabrokenthing In his world, women needn't agree at all. Just do what we're told.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@AGAndrewBailey It’s vile that you invoke your dearly departed daughter to tell lies as egregious as these. Give me a break. And stop being so evil.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@DC10071123 @slutriarch If they’re so “mutually wrong,” why are you only shrieking about Trans women? God, I wish bigots had brains. But that’s part and parcel to the whole bigot thing, huh.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@1_john_2_27 @HazeyDaisey17 If we’re so “predisposed” to it, why do you have to force it so hard? You’re a ridiculous liar making shit up to gain power. It’s pathetic.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@HarvardFedSoc Such amazing diversity!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
11 months
@notcapnamerica I got a woman last night--not only was my ice cream not soup, but she placed eggs on the bottom of one bag and then bread on top of that. I nearly saw Jesus, I was so happy.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
9 months
@fozmeadows Amazing. She’s mad at Trump’s email list for asking her for money after she had a fire. She’s the Mostest Main Character Who Ever Main Charactered.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
@Mrs_L_Olivier @snide_sally @BonzillaG @Evie4Freedom @Dumfukdetector @pondering_patty @lufcgilly @DarrenJ66 @angrywomanco @PeonyPrincess27 @Louise1228841 "Anxiety" and "insecurity" are basically red flags in men now. Because they tend to not treat these things at ALL, and then they make their issues womens' faults. Which leads to entitlement and violence.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
6 months
@GrrGum @Karnythia But they’re so confident in shrieking what the silent woman is thinking and feeling.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@GenBlessings99 @BLKLiberation84 @Youngm831 @tariqnasheed She attempted to murder these young kids. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing with her “help, help” Carolyn Bryant act.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Bongoon1 @ERnurse86 She didn’t care enough about dying to shut her bigot mouth. How are we supposed to care more than she does? What’s more important to her?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
6 months
@DoomScroling I just posted about the amazing women of South Korea--they are opting out so damn hard. Nobody is suggesting men get less evil, thereby solving the pribem. Nope! It's all to women: give in, eat shit, lose everything, and have 10 babies. NOPE!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@MatthewTriponey @jbouie "I am forcing 10-year-olds to give birth out of spite because I’m such a good and kind Christian!”
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@StolenDans I really do hate these nepo babies. Because they REFUSE to acknowledge that they started on home plate while everyone else is crawling to first base without hands.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Esqueer_ I’m sure the fact that random companies’ ads were being placed next to swastikas has n o t h i n g to do with revenue being down.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 months
@WOlookingitup @ettoimacherie Followed for "Moo bitch."
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
@ask_aubry I guess I'm an old Gen-X, but I literally cannot imagine random men speaking to me this way. The fact that it is so normalized now for men to speak to all women like we're in a giant, worldwide porn IS unnerving.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 years
@menwritewomen Like 75% of the posts on r/menwritingwomen are from King. His depiction of women & underage girls is disgusting. This opinion is not shocking.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@Esqueer_ Suddenly, young women, a segment of whom asked for it, are dealing with whether or not the guy they're dating is worth dying over vis a vis pregnancy. And the answer, much of the time, is hell no. Die for some schmuck who shrieks when asked to unload a dishwasher?
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@KentonAntiques @Brandenemiller I can smell that picture.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@MarkThevenot @aguirreryan Trump was a grifter. He stiffed the actual builders.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
11 months
@myronjclifton "Yeah, she probably ran away. Without her phone. Or purse. And she hasn't spent a dime in a month. And she recorded videos saying 'if I die, he did it.' But she probably left the meds she needs to live and not die at home for funsies."
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
6 months
@voguemagazine @Zendaya Can y'all not afford to sent Leibovitz to a class called "Black Women Deserve Lighting, Too?"
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@emilynussbaum Yes, abuse victims should stay isolated and never reveal their lying abuser’s real nature. Great stuff. Super feminism.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@HafeezaAnchrum @Phil_Lewis_ Someone who can’t consent did NOTHING whatsoever.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@Brian_Sauve @Animal5pirits Yes, it does. Because the first blames women for male weakness. Sad you can’t see the difference.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@AngryBlackLady Everyone knows that Real WomenTM spray blood, bile, feces, urine, and the contents of our ink sacs all over every public toilet. That's how we prove we're cis!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@NBedera So cops, who self-report at least a 40% DV rate, twist everything everywhere to make sure rapists go free. I’m shocked.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
3 months
@JessPected In my books, I only use feminized insults to refer to male characters. Women don't get "hysterical," men do. They also shriek, wail, and are shrill. Probably nobody notices, but it makes me happy.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
2 years
@coffee_anytime So sad that you totally don't understand them.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@theashleyray Twitter is paying bigots.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
5 months
@JessPected @ask_aubry I think it’s even more and worse—Kayla cheats on everyone. That’s the only reason he isn’t with her. The only one.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 months
@Halfempty621 The secret boils down to “respect women.” Unfortunately, that seems to be a difficult hurdle many men refuse to even try to jump.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@ask_aubry Yeah, when I’m sad I always get out my Holly Hobbie underoos and matching mug to pose seductively.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
10 months
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@StorySorcery And the Black character's hair is squirrel-tail-like, while the white one's is golden and perfect.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@worldwidesteez @marliejay_ Nope. A lot but not always. Learn some things Here's just one. They got that plane on the ground without the roof.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@_celia_bedelia_ I’m finding abusers love be the term “boundaries” because wrongly they use it as a cudgel, but it sounds like it’s reasonable goodness.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@_celia_bedelia_ "None of you pretended I said the thing *I* pretended I said, you just looked at my actual words. How very dare you?!"
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@PissedOffMandaP @CaelanConrad Panda, it's amazing that you think bathrooms are impenetrable fortresses that men cannot enter. Tell me, where do they get the magic signs that keep any and all of them out of a restroom if the cartoon outside is wearing a skirt? Also, you're a bigot clown.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
4 years
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@jasminpigemoji Once ended up at a group dinner with him. Was a super nice guy. Good to see one of them isn't trash.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@WhatsTheT @iamchrispaezjr @PopBase Wow. Guess I can backhand every man who ever comes up to me wanting my attention, huh. Good to know. Ladies, it’s on!
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
7 months
@notcapnamerica Did she really ask them if they wanted the cops?! She’s nicer than I am. “Hello 9-1-1? Yeah, I’ve got a couple of license plates and a video to send ya. Yeah, they took out my damn porch and didn’t even offer me a beer smdh.”
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
6 months
@_nomadic_soul Based on what I’ve seen, I also believe that some closeted gay men deliberately go after naive Christian women because they won’t have sex until marriage. After marriage? She’s trapped by her religion. And he gets some kids out of her.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
@ambernoelle Men are taught that the only acceptible emotion is anger. And then they're taught it's not an emotion at all. So they think forever-rage is normal life, and that everyone needs to just eat the shit they dish out. It takes huge self-reflection to defeat this. Many never try.
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@MaladyMartti
Martti Nelson | Funny Books for Misbehaving Women
1 year
I truly think one problem so many bigots share is absolutely no sense of humor or fun whatsoever. They think being cruel = fun. They think mockery = humor. It’s one of the reasons why they’re so quick to hate. Hate is unintelligent and easy.
@joss_prior
Joss Prior❤️🌈 😘 Pleasant to a fault! 😘🌈❤️
1 year
" sinister " 😂😂😂
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