&rew wixson @thepostsoffice Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

&rew wixson

2 months

Not now babe, I’m in the middle of my pregame ritual (speed-reading The Atlantic so I can verbally plagiarize their takes in front of my white lib friends)

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@NCCAElementary

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@celltinels

&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

we’re so back

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@itsmariannnna @RunDaltonRun I wouldn’t be so sure, rejection at that age sticks with you lmaooo

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@holy_schnitt “hello. I think I have a disorder, just keep me posted:)”

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@latkedelrey

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

3 months

@gldivittorio When I saw that top text, I really thought Jimmy died for a second and had to check my news notifications to soothe my soul

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@OneFeIISwoop complicated sweaters or narcotics

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@jellykeeper ummm (respectfully) not sure where you’re getting that 9/11 was a “bad thing”

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@_uma_the_puma_ @SMASEY

Bad Newz Kennels - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@carolinebano moral of the story: if you chose to be caroline’s coworker, you were lowkey asking for it

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@contactabrother meanwhile, I’m just out here introducing women to phoebe bridgers

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@Java_jigga

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@p8stie “a cultural stereotype of superficial youngsters who, by the traditional definition of the word, came from an educated, upper-class family” means you’re dripping too hard in public again:/

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@1followernodad literally who is this for lmfao

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@maifrennoworry @DanielB77142562 @IAmDonnieAzoff @SCHIZO_FREQ even better tbh

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

4 months

@okimstillhungry I believe men

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

4 months

@wahoodem @gracejarvisohno The thing is it’s technically true if you never have any expectation of being owed anything by anyone else either, but that’s not how to live a good life imo

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@RichyCraven

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@blainecapatch *logs onto fb for the first time in months*

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@Senn_Spud newman!!!

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@thechosenberg this is bold but i respect the hustle

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@contactabrother i’m clearly being framed so i go full weekend at bernie’s mode

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@latkedelrey that’s a wild amount of friction to cause to even get a blister

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

normalize putting “adderall shortage” in resume gaps

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

@mahaaaay probably “ned flanders”

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

@sexyredinbed Relatable

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@TrevorAugust no, Lenin was straight-up good though

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

me and the bit have commitment issues

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

what’s a goon to a goblin

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@contactabrother workaholics or broad city every time

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@kevinabstract

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

Another month in the books and my unhinged sparkle is still better than ever

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@talliesinyoung

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

just kicked a woman out of my home after she openly claimed that the big short is a bad movie. not sure how it ever got so far as me having her over, but that’s an impossibly terrible take that nobody can or should come back from.

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

woke up today feeling grateful:)

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

6 months

:)

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@fossadeusz @rose_quartz_elf @jellykeeper it’s truly not that deep guys, was purely just an unhinged comment for the sake of being inflammatory lmao. obviously thousands of people dying is a bad thing, good talk though

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@skanks17 @trustfundterry @bigcontentguy he truly has established himself as the poster child of big bazoingas

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

9 months

y’all. I haven’t been this proud of myself in such a long time.

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

4 months

Fuck the patriarchy, tonight we let the Katherine talk

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@holy_schnitt

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@wnbagirlfriend

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

how do i properly explain that i’m the wild card of the group on my resume

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

the social fabric was irredeemably destroyed when professional gaslighters became fluent in therapy speak

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

truly a blessing & an honor to be the most annoying man in america

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@Senn_Spud we’ll get him next time

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

genuinely badass of biden to look the hard right members in the eye and keep on script

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

when I get to the office without my airpods

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

when the beat be hitting different

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

i would sell my soul to this man’s reelection if he were a leftist

George Santos

@MrSantosNY

8 months

Clarifying the post! I don’t care if Obama was allegedly someone’s sloppy bottom. I want to shutdown the Biden crime syndicate, lower inflation, become energy independent, make sure ALL Americans have access to clean water, fix the border and make sure we elect Donald Trump! 🇺🇸

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

vaxxed?

BBC Breaking News

@BBCBreaking

5 months

Former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger dies at his home in Connecticut aged 100

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

i should get pigtails

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@BrotiGupta

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

11 months

what did he mean by this

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@sluttyesque getting married at 12 should be a federal crime @ west virginia

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

3 months

@megsxzum

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

nothing to see here, the apocalypse is definitely NOT occurring

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

1 year

BREAKING: A train has just derailed outside Detroit. At least six cars came off the track, and one was carrying hazardous materials.

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@contactabrother *me pretending eating pussy wasn’t fucking yummy*

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@contactabrother @mrsballs69

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

3 months

I need plastic surgery the way my facial structure seems to communicate to racists and homophobes that this is a safe space for them to really let loose

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

Just learned that Panera announced one (1) week ago that it’s going public and I will be plowing my life savings into that

Panera Bread files to go public again through IPO

JAB Holding took Panera Bread private in 2017 for $7.5 billion.

www.cnbc.com

&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

Imagine surviving into adulthood and being murked by a Panera lemonade, I gots to try one now

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

negative temperatures are a human rights violation

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

10 months

@Cudalla what if i told u i’m the eepiest boi in the whole wide world

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

Me if they made embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from my campaign donors illegal

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

listen to me, butterfly, there's only so much wine that you can drink in one life and it will never be enough to save you from the bottom of your glass

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

3 months

Body dysmorphia’s crazy the way I’ve lost 40 lbs and literally feel like I still look identical

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

people keep having babies and frankly??? not a fan

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@smylkshmn @goth600 i mean this with the upmost solidarity (and even awe) as a fellow neurodivergent person, but i think this is truly one of the most autistic sentences i’ve ever read lmao

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@LexisDeanna checks out with your thing for boston cops lmfao

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

Psalms has some banger verses about praying for your opps’ downfall tbh

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

the energy i’m bringing into this holly jolly christmas

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

mom can you come pick me up, i’m watching the movie signs with mel gibson again

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 month

The most Colorado thing to ever occur

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

11 months

was just discussing the submarine situation with my mother and blurted out, “you just know it smell crazy in there” and couldn’t even get a small chuckle

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

about once a month, I think I’m ready to start dating again and redownload the apps only to remember just how absurdly picky I am about 5 minutes in

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

W

BNO News Live

@BNODesk

1 year

BREAKING: U.S. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell taken to hospital after falling at D.C. hotel

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 month

Ironically this how sobriety feels to me

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

5 months

Imagine surviving into adulthood and being murked by a Panera lemonade, I gots to try one now

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@ajbauer @jenbegakis but tell me, did they miss

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

me if being a total sweetie with no flaws were a crime

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

7 months

@LexisDeanna nooo queen, ur face is perfect just the way it is

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

2 months

@juumelo_ The scene afterwards from our lips being too chapped, me & who

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

what does it mean if this is the first video tiktok served me up after being off for a month

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@bbellaaaa my question is always what these weirdos’ end goal is. like they imagine the conversation will resolve with “thanks random citizen, I will make medical decisions based on your harassment”

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

actually, I’ve never been incorrect about anything and it’s purely a reflection on you that ur so disagreeable

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

men literally be going to therapy now and their only takeaway is “fuck it, we ball”

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

i’m in spain without the p

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

losing your mind so hard you start praying again

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

8 months

@dollarbillbluez idk I can’t speak for the others, but stav isn’t exactly peak male form lmao

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

6 months

@rachellapides they should make jstor more like twitter tbh

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&rew wixson

@thepostsoffice

1 year

@contactabrother workaholics: hulu/paramount; broad city: hulu both are 2015-era comedy central shows that are super formative to my sense of humour that don’t have complex plots so much as just being hilarious, such comfort shows “i think you should leave” (netflix) is also lovely

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