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@meralee727

30,042
Followers
30,231
Following
5,549
Media
112,030
Statuses

I’m a comedy writer and a teacher depending on the outfit and what snacks are involved. My tweets do not reflect the opinions of Punky Brewster.

Joined February 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@meralee727
Meredith
7 months
Joe Jonas broke up with Taylor Swift in an infamous 27 second phone call. Sophie Turner found out Joe Jonas was divorcing her by reading it about online. Maybe the problem is Joe Jonas.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
If you’re more focused on what Jennette McCurdy had to say about Ariana Grande than the fact that she was physically and emotionally abused by both her mother and Dan Schneider….perhaps you’re missing the main point of her book.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Dr. Phil has a doctorate in psychology.He is not a virologist. Dr. Drew is a licensed internist&an addiction medicine specialist.Also, he is not a virologist. Dr. Oz is a licensed cardiothoracic surgeon. He is also not a virologist. Dr. Pepper is a tasty soda& not a virologist
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Ben Affleck and Chris Pratt prove more and more each day that Jennifer Garner and Anna Faris were the true winners in their respective relationships.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Marjorie Taylor Greene wants the media to respect her privacy while she deals with her ending marriage. I hope the media gives her the same amount of respect she gave David Hogg when she filmed herself harassing & stalking him after he’d witnessed the slaughtering of his peers.
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
Chrissy Teigen, Elizabeth Warren, Hillary Clinton, Debra Messing, Kamala Harris, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley&Rashida Tlaib.Huh,if I didn’t know any better, it would seem that Trump seems to have a problem with strong willed women who disagree w/him? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
I really want Barron Trump to grow up to be a peace loving hippie liberal....just ‘cause.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Guys, I don’t wanna alarm anyone but I think Trump is currently having a mental breakdown
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
If you think calling Barron Trump tall is an insult then Amy Carter, Chelsea Clinton, Sasha and Malia Obama would like to have a word.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Okay, guys, I found out what happened. They had to cancel Trump’s inauguration yesterday after learning that Scott Baio couldn’t get out of his shift at Subway
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Forget that he’s the president. Forget that she’s a climate change activist. The bottom line is a 73 year old man took to Twitter to verbally attack and bully a 16 year old girl. This should be disturbing to everyone.
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
So today, Eric Trump learned about what journalism is. Please join us tomorrow when Eric Trump learns how to cut a mango and you don’t want to miss Mondays lesson: hopping.
@EricTrump
Eric Trump
5 years
These are the tactics used by the @WashingtonPost . @JeffBezos - you should be very proud... 🙄
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
So Chrissy Teigen deleted her account. So basically a woman of color who is grieving the loss of a child and simply wanted to share funny thoughts and yummy recipes was bullied to such an extreme that she had to leave in order to protect her mental health. Good job sucky people.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Is it too soon to congratulate Hope Hicks on becoming Trump’s fourth wife?
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Twitter unverified Danny DeVito for supporting strikers but they’re okay with Marjorie Taylor Greene equating vaccination passports to the Holocaust and Lauren Boebert praising the Taliban. Danny was a legend before they were born and he’ll be a legend long after they’re gone.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Anytime Kathy Bates is in a movie, I immediately wonder who she’s going to be terrorizing in this film. I blame Stephen King.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Things #MeghanMarkIe has been criticized for: 1.Politely declining a request to take her flowers 2. Crying 3. Not crying 4. Looking at Kate Middleton 5. Not looking at Kate Middleton 6. Comforting Harry 7. Existing 8. Breathing 9. Standing 10. Sitting 11. Walking 12. Blinking
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
"If my uncle gets indicted, America is going to run out of beer." --Mary Trump And if he finally goes to prison, America is going to run out of champagne.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
We’re currently living in a Stephen King novel
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
I kinda loved listening to Biden. So calm, encouraging...he wasn’t attacking anyone or bullying them. Forgot how much I missed that in a president
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Kanye West is harassing Kim Kardashian, made a video decapitating Pete Davidson and has now seemingly threatened DL Hughley’s life His nonstop attacks are abusive and horrifying. Can Kanye get a conservatorship or is that only reserved for women who are going through a hard time?
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@meralee727
Meredith
1 year
You would think that a man who named his child xfgtbjmnddxvhvvsd would be able to handle women like Valerie Bertinelli, Kathy Griffin and Sarah Silverman having fun at his expense
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Yes, it’s so sad the Rob Reiner accomplished nothing after his role on All in the Family. Hey, anyone wanna see a movie? Maybe Princess Bride or Stand By Me? Harry Met Sally? This is Spinal Tap? Or maybe A Few Good Men....though I’m pretty sure you can’t handle the truth.
@marklevinshow
Mark R. Levin
4 years
Millionaire and washed up actor Rob Reiner wants to go to war against us.  We shall take note.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Why do people go to Hobby Lobby when Michael’s exists? Hobby Lobby is the WalMart to Michael’s Target.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Current FLOTUS wore fishnet style tights while the previous FLOTUS wore a coat that literally said “I don’t really care, do u?” when she was on her way to visit refugee children- Unless Dr. Jill’s tights come with actual fish dying in nets, then I think Dr. Jill won this round.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
If you’re spending more time hating on Harry & Meghan for merely existing than hating on Prince Andrew for being a literal pedophile perhaps it’s time to rethink your life choices.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
I miss Robin Williams’ humor. No one could make us laugh harder. I miss Kate Spade’s fashion. Her stuff made me feel so cool. I miss Anthony Bourdain and how he connected us all through food. I will miss Naomi Judd’s music which always made us all smile & dance. I miss you all.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
If you’re blaming Elizabeth ll’s health issues on Prince Harry and Megan Markle- 1. She’s 96. People in their 90’s often have health issues. 2. Her husband of 73 years passed away in April 2021. Long married couples do tend to pass away close together. 3. You suck as a person.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Dude, the reason I work with elementary school kids is because I need to know more math than they do! WTF? 1/100? .01 times? This doesn’t make sense. I want our next President to understand fifth grade math. #TrumpMeltdown
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
For the 1/100th time, the reason we show so many Cases, compared to other countries that haven’t done nearly as well as we have, is that our TESTING is much bigger and better. We have tested 40,000,000 people. If we did 20,000,000 instead, Cases would be half, etc. NOT REPORTED!
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Dan Schneider was clearly the Harvey Weinstein of children’s television.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
@miyanaire_ Given the stories we’re hearing, it wouldn’t shock me if they were purposely pitted against each other so they could drum up publicity for the show. Jennette was young and her jealousy makes sense. Ariana was young too. The grownups needed to be grownups.
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
#ObamaOutdidTrump in taking photos. Seriously, has anyone ever noticed that Obama is incapable of taking a bad photo?
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Sarah Cooper and Randy Rainbow are the only lights in the darkness of 2020. @sarahcpr and @RandyRainbow honestly should be protected at all costs and should be winning all the awards for doing all they can install a bit of levity during these apocalyptic times
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
I like when QANONUTTER MAGAS say they miss the Stephen Colbert from The Colbert Report when he was essentially playing a character making fun of the same people who would eventually turn into QANONUTTER MAGAS.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
#GoHomeMeghanMarkle yet if she had stayed home, people would attacking her for not supporting Prince Harry while he’s mourning the death of his grandmother. This woman can’t win. She has done nothing wrong except be a different skin color. Leave her alone & stop with the hate.
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@meralee727
Meredith
11 months
Remember that time Kirk Cameron got someone fired from Growing Pains because he didn’t like that she had done Playboy, something no one watching would’ve known about had he not thrown a shit fit about it? Turns out he’s been a hateful, homophobic bigot since childhood.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Rick Perry believes Trump was chosen by God. Paula White has compared Trump to Jesus. Matt Gaetz called Trump, “President God.” Trump called himself, “The Chosen One.” As if we needed anymore proof that we are currently living in the worst episode of Black Mirror, ever.
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@meralee727
Meredith
8 months
With the news that Jimmy Fallon is the problematic twat nozzle we always knew he was, can we at least finally admit that Craig Ferguson truly was one of the true unproblematic kings of late night. I mean, the man’s defense of Britney Spears is, to this day, legendary and iconic.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
My fellow Angelenos, Please be careful! The MAGA Q’s are out in full force today! Have you ever seen Ventura Boulevard this packed?! It’s getting scary out there guys... #MillionMoronMarch
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Once, I was working in a kindergarten class and noticed a pattern. We’ve taught our boys to never hit the girls and they’re listening. But some of the girls are taking that as a license to hit the boys. We have to change the lesson. No hitting period. #JusticeForJohnnyDepp
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
What’s it going to take for there to be a clear separation between church and state and my uterus?
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Breaking News: Biden has now won both Georgia and Pennsylvania for the eight hundredth time. Seriously, can we move on now? #TrumpIsACompleteFailure
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
Wow, judging by Trump’s racist meltdown this morning, Melania is seemingly making great strides in her fight against bullying 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄. #bebest #RacistInChief
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Eva Longoria has a BS in kinesiology from Texas A&M University-Kingsville & a Masters in Chicano Studies from CSUN. Her thesis was titled: “Success STEMS From Diversity: The Value of Latinas in STEM Careers" Trump supporters: Why is the chick from Desperate Housewives speaking?
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Seeing as people are starting to give Olivia Wilde the Amber Heard treatment because she hurt Ted Lasso, if Jason Sudeikis really threw himself under her car to prevent her from leaving than there was abuse going on in that relationship way before she left him for Harry Styles.
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@meralee727
Meredith
1 year
The thing I miss the most about Jack Dorsey owning Twitter was that he just ran Twitter and didn’t spend his time desperately trying to be friends with Stephen King or suspending people who make fun of him
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Dear Trump, Thank you. We have been trying to figure out what the male version of a Karen should be. Maybe Kevin or Chad? Nothing felt right but after reading your tweets, it was right in front of us the whole time. The male version of a Karen is a Donald. #TrumpMeltdown
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
Maybe, just maybe and this is a crazy idea but go with me on this...that the reason @AOC didn’t denounce the #EatTheBabies woman is because she realized this woman was having a mental break and knew that denouncing her might exacerbate the mental break so she listened instead. 🤷🏼‍♀��
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Trump wants to ban Tik Tok because Tik Tok was mean to him. He also wants to ban the sun for making him look like the rejected love child of an armadillo and a dehydrated Fruit Loop
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
It makes sense that Melania would destroy Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden. Jackie Kennedy was Camelot-grace, sophistication & beauty. That was reflected in her garden. Sadly, it completely clashes with apocalyptic, I will kill you all to save myself vibe the Trumps are going for.
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
Anyone wanna go rent a movie with me? #TextLikeThe90s
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Trump is the most innocent, honorable man to ever hold office in the same way that Charles Manson was the most innocent, honorable man to ever run a cult. #TrumpMeltdown
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Does Ben Affleck blame Jennifer Garner for this hideous back tattoo as well?
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
A school shooting at YES prep in Texas….but yes, let’s continue to discuss how masks are what’s traumatizing our children
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
So now I have to carry a vaccine passport?! What’s next? A driving passport that has my age, weight and home address on it and that I have to keep on me to show that I can legally operate a motor vehicle and also prove that I am old enough to purchase alcohol. When will it end!?
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Ben Affleck telling Howard Stern that being married to Jennifer Garner was insufferable and drove him to drink is funny because I feel the same way any time I watch a movie with Ben Affleck.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
How can Betty Crocker be a racial slur? Clearly Betty supports all races and orientations.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
No, NBC didn’t lock up Bill Cosby....the prison system locked up Bill Cosby because that’s what happens when you rape women
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
911? Yes, I’d like to request a 5150 hold? There’s this guy who looks like a bag of used Wet Naps, insulin needles and dryer lint accusing people of murder and thinks he’s being spied on. It’s 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It’s a big White House. You can’t miss it. #TrumpMeltdown
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there who don’t: a)have creepy relationships with their daughter that border on sexual b)Use their sons for their own personal gain c)Name their youngest son after their alias, John Barron d)Don’t fat shame the daughter they don’t find sexy
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Alright guys, I’m headed out to the forests with a rake and a can of soup to fight off the exploding trees.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
We do have actors like Kevin Sorbo, Scott Baio and Randy Quaid here in Los Angeles but we call them waiters.
@ACTBrigitte
Brigitte Gabriel
2 years
We need more actors like Kevin Sorbo, Scott Baio, and Randy Quaid.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Oh, Tomi... When people feel they aren’t being heard, they get louder until you can no longer ignore them. Theyre not looting because they suddenly have a desire for a new television or a stereo, TomiKaren. They’re looting because no one is fucking listening.
@TomiLahren
Tomi Lahren
4 years
Destroying stores and taking what you want is not “protest” it’s theft and has NOTHING to do with justice for George. It is despicable to use his wrongful death as an excuse to steal things.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Hey, can the Jews get in on this? #ChristiansAgainstTrump
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Did Trump really ask why people are so mean? The man who attacks anyone who disagrees with him is asking why people are mean? The guy who bragged about sexually assaulting women and made fun of people with disabilities on camera is wondering why people are mean? #TrumpMeltdown
@TG22110
TG ☕️
2 years
See a pattern?
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Giving Harry & Meghan props for their grace & dignity. From being uninvited to Royal events to being ripped to shreds publicly for simply existing and wanting to mourn-the amount of unwarranted hate & vitriol they’ve received is truly disgusting and I am in awe of their strength.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Dear QANONUTTER MAGA antivaxxer maskers, Stop using Ted Danson’s black face in 1993 or Prince Harry wearing a Nazi uniform in 2005 as situations that the Liberals are okay with. No one was okay with those moments, both got a lot of shit for it and you worship a literal predator.
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@meralee727
Meredith
1 year
The Black community came out in full force when Kanye went on his antisemitic tirade.Their support was unmatched so as a Jewish woman, please let me return the favor. Joanna Weiss doesn’t represent the beliefs of the Jewish community. She’s ignorant and wrong. #joannaweissracist
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Dear Maureen Dowd and Dinesh D’Souza, Not sure if you know this but there’s this thing called the internet and on the internet is this site called Google where you can type in stuff like Sarah Palin, Tim Kaine and/or how to pronounce Thailand and find info. So cool. Check it out!
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Trump blames Obama for: 1. The Titanic 2. Pimento loaf 3. Black Plague OG 4. Multisyllabic words 5. Baby Jessica falling in the well 6. Hindenburg disaster 7. Paper cuts 8. My So Called Life getting cancelled 9.Amelia Earhart’s disappearance 10.Nic Cage’s movie role choices
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Post office in Sherman Oaks. After seeing the posts about the post offices in Burbank, I drove by to check mine out...whoa
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Everclear and Monica Lewinsky trending on Twitter is what happens when you keep ignoring Gen X. Smells like Teen Spirit, bitches.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Please normalize not forcing celebrities to have to give social media statements when their celebrity friends die. We already know how John Stamos, Dave Coulier, Lori Loughlin, Candace Cameron, Jodie Sweetin,Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen felt about Bob Saget. Let them mourn privately.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Just got a message from a guy on a dating app who said we must be soulmates because his ex was named Meredith and he has her name tattooed on her ass.....just in case you were wondering what it was like out there.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
With all due respect to Caitlyn Jenner, the last time we had a failed reality television star with bloated sense of self in political office, over 500,000 people died and we couldn’t leave our homes for a year. Also you supported that guy....so no.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
So when should we expect Trump to start attacking Don Lemon on Twitter for asking a very valid question.
@briantylercohen
Brian Tyler Cohen
4 years
Don Lemon with zero fucks left.
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
1. Brian Laundrie murders his girlfriend and the police are somehow unable to find him. He is able to evade capture and commits suicide. 2. Kyle Rittenhouse murders two people and is acquitted. 3. An awful video is released of Zac Stacy beating his ex. Arrested within 24 hours.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
To the victims of Allison Mack and Bill Cosby, I’m so sorry the justice system failed you today.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
1. Does Mother know that her husband is near not just one woman but 4?! She’s not going to be happy! 2. Congrats to Tim Scott on being chosen as Trump’s one black friend. 3. Sadly, Trump thought former pop star Tiffany was speaking until reminded he has a daughter with that name
@atrupar
Aaron Rupar
4 years
Worst Choose Your Fighter screen of all time (via @Acyn )
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Trump drinking Diet Coke while telling his followers to boycott Coke is one of the most MAGA things to happen in the history of MAGA.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
My fellow Gen Xers, May I suggest we call our rebel alliance- The Breakfast Club? No explanations necessary. “Don’t you forget about me....” #genx
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
How does Kirstie Alley manage to be part of the QANONUTTER MAGA cult and the Scientology cult? Did she get like a two for one discount at Cults R Us?
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Dear Dr. Trump, I have a stuffy nose and a headache so I swallowed 27 Tide Pods with a glass of antifreeze and I don't feel any better. Please advise.
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@meralee727
Meredith
11 months
I don’t know who needs to hear this but homophobia isn’t an opinion. It’s hate. Kirk Cameron isn’t expressing an opinion, he’s expressing hate
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Dear Goldie Hawn, You’re not a child psychologist because if you were, you might realize that active shooter drills are far more traumatizing to children than masks. Masks have never murdered anyone. Kids don’t have to worry that a mask will bring a gun to school and kill them.
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@meralee727
Meredith
7 months
Well, considering this tweet is getting a lot of notice….anyone wanna give me some ideas for dinner tonight? Currently at Trader Joe’s (my happy place even though someone stopped in the middle of the lot to wait for a spot to open up) and I need to food but not sure what to get
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
@Kern9811 @TheAVClub I’m so sorry...yeah, I’ve been out of work for almost six years, it’s horrible and crippling and I agree with you, a show like this is dangerous
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Yeah…no. You’re asking teachers to put themselves in a position where they might have to shoot another child? You don’t even trust us to pick out books, you want us to walk around with guns? Teachers should not be carrying this burden. #UvaldePoliceCowards
@TamsManke
⚔️🦅🇺🇸Tams 🇺🇸🦅⚔️
2 years
Let teachers be trained and carry. The best defense against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. #SecureTheSchools #UvaldePoliceCowards
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
I’m really going to need David Hogg to film himself stalking and harassing Majorie Taylor Greene about her husband divorcing her
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Cought? You know that red line that appears under words sometimes? Yeah, it’s there for a reason. Are you that narcissistic that you won’t even let autocorrect tell you you’re wrong?
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
I got the Dolly Parton vaccine and I’m starting to experience some very weird side effects. Like I just started talking in a slow Southern drawl and demanded that the cashier at Trader Joe’s call me Jolene.
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@meralee727
Meredith
5 years
@lasagnabby Why do I suddenly have a craving mayonnaise sandwiches on Wonder Bread with a glass of milk?
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
“I have a breathing problem!” “You know who else had a breathing problem, North Hollywood Trader Joe’s lady? George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Rayshard Brooks, Breonna Taylor, Elijah McClain but their breathing problems were more severe-it also caused them to stop living and stuff.”
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@meralee727
Meredith
1 year
If you’re upset by Dr. Jill Biden presenting an award at the Grammys but okay with the fact that Melania Trump is a racist birther who hates Christmas & wore a jacket that said “I don’t really care, do u?” to visit refugee children…perhaps you need to rethink your life choices.
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
I feel like we’re not talking enough about the dude who died from tasing his own balls.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Okay, who had Kobe dying, a deadly virus that forces us all into isolation, a nationwide obsession with redneck tiger breeders and murder hornets on their vision boards for 2020?
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@meralee727
Meredith
3 years
Trump would text a “congratulations” to Tiffany Trump on her engagement but he doesn’t have her phone number.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
I don’t know who needs to hear this but people who send well wishes to sexual predators are not brave. #geraldo
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@meralee727
Meredith
2 years
Ted Knight (1986). Estelle Getty (2008). Bea Arthur (2009). Rue McClanahan (2010). Mary Tyler Moore (2017). Georgia Engel (2019). Valerie Harper (2019). Cloris Leachman (2021). Gavin MacLeod (2021). Ed Asner (2021). Betty White They’re all gone now.
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@meralee727
Meredith
4 years
Trump supporters yelling at Native Americans and telling them to go back to where they came from is the most MAGA thing to ever happen in the history of MAGA #TrumpRally
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