Lots of jokes about the My Pillow guy but ask yourself this: does anyone know who Biden’s pillow guy is? we’re about to have a president who has no advisors from the pillow industry, let that sink in
Republicans gather to proclaim how well the country is doing, in an event held virtually because a containable virus killed almost 180,000 Americans in 6 months
New plan: we set up a fake university and tell Trump we're giving him an honorary medical degree, when he shows up we trap him in a Truman Show style world where we can watch him pretend to be president but he can't actually hurt anyone
If Twitter can slap a warning on Trump's tweets they can turn off the retweet button on them. If you know it's false, why do you continue to allow it to be shared?
Fun fact: The Constitution gives Congress the right to censure the president but when they don’t have the guts to do so, that responsibility will go to... *checks notes* ...Twitter
Amy Coney Barrett watched Mitch McConnell obstruct Obama's Supreme Court justice nomination 8 months before the election but is now fine being confirmed WHILE PEOPLE ARE VOTING. She knows this is wrong and she doesn't care.
#VoteThemAllOut
Sarah Cooper: I like the ability to sort of take off the emperor’s clothes, take away the podium and the people behind him nodding and the suit.. and just have the words there with my facial expressions so people can literally see he has no clue what he’s talking about
I hope we are able to get Trump out of office in 10 days. But I will never get over how bad it had to get for us to even have a chance of getting rid of him
In a tense exchange, bystander Donald Williams pushed back when the Derek Chauvin's attorney asked whether he grew more and more angry with Chauvin during the fatal arrest of George Floyd.
"I stayed in my body. You can't paint me out to be angry."
“No I’m sorry, you go ahead.”
“No please you.”
“No I cut you off.”
“No I cut YOU off!”
“Okay if you insist...”
“I do!”
-Scene from the first presidential debate between two women
If Trump wins in November and Democrats do not gain control of the Senate, it will be the end of American democracy and there will be a Trump in the White House for the next 20-30 years. Happy Monday!
You can’t expect to be successful if you spend all day scrolling Twitter on your phone. At some point you need to get your shit together and scroll Twitter on your laptop
If more testing creates more cases, and Trump gets tested every single day, then… shouldn’t he... ya know... be the most likely person in the world to get it?
If Hillary Clinton was tweeting that she won the election a week after she lost the election she would’ve already been declared persona non grata by her own party
A dating app where you watch a comedy video and you match with people based on which part of the video you laughed at most. This is either brilliant or evidence that I only got 2 hours of sleep last night
Finally, a president who will actually work from early in the morning until late in the evening and make many calls and have many meetings
#InaugurationDay