Grave Jones @iamgravejones Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Grave Jones

@iamgravejones

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Frontman & Guitarist (Grave Jones - Slutterhouse) // Fiction Writer // Best Smelling Artist // Demotivational speaker // 🌑🐐

Beirut/Paris

https://t.co/rHClj0qCnL

Joined June 2009

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

So we don’t have a new president but we have new music, and a new video. // We asked people from all walks of life to recall a time they were betrayed, deceived, lied to. This is their raw reaction. // a glimpse of my latest single LIES // Full version on YouTube 🌑🐐🖤

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

In 1974, Ramesses II’s mummy was sent to Paris for preservation and maintenance work. Since French law required every person, living or dead, fly with a valid passport, the Egyptian government had to issue a passport to Pharaoh 3000 years after his death. But no Schengen for you

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Grave Jones

3 years

Imagine Italians invading Lebanon and claiming that they’re just returning to their homeland because there are Roman ruins in Baalbek.

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Grave Jones

2 years

عندي وعد واحد: fuck it طلع عن جد يمثّلني 😍

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Grave Jones

3 years

You know what’s funny? Turns out the “mabsoutaaa33333” woman now lives in Canada.

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Grave Jones

4 years

This is the Beirut port right now. The nightmare continues. Open all your windows and stay away from them.

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Grave Jones

7 months

I feel as useless as international law

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Grave Jones

2 years

فكّرتو اشترى جريدة @Annahar

@elonmusk

Elon Musk

2 years

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Grave Jones

4 years

- عسكري: وين واصل؟ - أنا: واصل على بيتي بدي احكي مع بيّي. - عسكري: هذه طريق القصر الجمهوري. - أنا: على أساس صار بيت الشعب؟ - عسكري: عم تتفلسف علي؟ - أنا: شوي. هيك انت بتعمل شغلك و أنا بعمل شغلي. - عسكري: شو بتشتغل حضرتك؟ - أنا: بعلّم فلسفة. #لبنان_ينتفض

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

You want to #TalkAboutLebanon ? Last night my brother and boxing hero Nadim Salloum dominated the ring in his 5th professional fight in Atlanta and lifted our flag victoriously in front of the whole the world. // This is how we talk about Lebanon. Now go do it! ❤️🥊🇱🇧

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Grave Jones

4 years

@TheTweetOfGod You missed the blue eyes 😂

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Grave Jones

4 years

@Seamus_Malek

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Grave Jones

5 years

طيّب هلّأ اذا انت عن جدّ متمسّك بمسيحيّتك و بمار شربل، على شو غيّرت اسمك المسيحي طوني حادشيتي و تخلّيت عن هويّتك كرمال تعمل مال ببلدان الخليج؟ 🤔😂

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Grave Jones

4 years

Screenshot from Fairuz’s phone

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Grave Jones

5 years

@Amy_Siskind Oh no! What’s going to happen to the Black Lives Matter mouvement without your support!! 😂😂

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Grave Jones

1 year

Zaatar w Zeit should change its name to 3ajeen w Mayonnaise because everything there - including the drinks - tastes like 3ajeen and mayonnaise.

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Grave Jones

4 years

Gebran Bassil - a guy whose whole existence in the political landscape is only due to being the son-in-law of a political party leader who then became president of the country - just said: “where is the meritocracy?” on live television. This is the best summary of Lebanon ever.

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Grave Jones

9 months

Spotted: a table of 5 foreigners at a Lebanese restaurant with 5 hummus plates on the table, one for each 😭

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Grave Jones

1 year

Lebanese people want to make zaatar croissants, achta éclairs the size of a baby elephant, overcook their steaks, put ketchup on a pizza, taouk in a fajita, fries in a burger but God forbid some Brit dips their carrot in hummus. Get over yourselves العمى ما اسألكن

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Grave Jones

3 years

When your neighbours endure living underneath your music studio with a sense of humour 😂

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Grave Jones

4 years

Mustapha Adib just arrived to the palace by car. Less than 2 minutes after the official announcement. Was he waiting at McDonald’s Hazmieh this whole time? Is he going to pretend he was surprised by the result? 😂

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

30 years ago at the end of summer of 1991, Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion, Nirvana’s Nevermind, Metallica’s Black album, Pearl Jam’s Ten, Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger, and Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ Blood Sugar Sex Magic were all released within a 6-week period. Mon fuckin’ Dieu.

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Grave Jones

2 years

انا و عمّي لمّا تجوّزنا مدني 😍

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Hiba Zinati

2 years

تعوا ضحكوا😂😂😂

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Grave Jones

2 years

A friend of mine who flew in this morning actually wrote “Wooden Bakery offer” as his reason of visit on the General Security’s landing card 😂

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

8 months

Sad to notice how increasingly difficult it is for fashion designers to make a living out of their passion 💔

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

6 years of marriage, 127 hairstyles, 13 existential crises and a constant stream of love, support and companionship later // 🖤

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Grave Jones

3 years

@CarineMadjarian Hi Carine! How many micrograms are in the LSD tabs you’re taking and where are you getting them from? Please let me know by DM 🙏🏼

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Grave Jones

3 years

You guys do realise that it’s possible to be against Irani meddling with Lebanon AND ALSO AGAINST Israeli violation of our airspace yeah? It’s very simple. No need to turn it into a “EnTa Ma3 AlMaNiA aw BrAzIL BiL WoRlD CuP?” you cheering primates.

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Grave Jones

2 years

يوري مرقدي بس شاف المهبل

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Grave Jones

2 years

“Monsieuuuuuur? Ayya se3a el récréation?”

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Grave Jones

3 years

Whenever I try to explain to foreigners what they’re doing to us here, there’s a voice in my head that says: “they probably think i’m exaggerating or being dramatic.” Because it’s that surreal. And it’s happening. We’re on board of a plane that’s hijacked by murderers. Period.

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Grave Jones

2 years

A random woman on the street started talking to me in Lebanese-French. I answered her in Parisian-French, speaking fast and using slang on purpose. She was very confused. “Sorry bet faddleh e7ke 3arabe yemkin?” I said. “Yiiii? Walaaw?”she gasped, turned around and left. 😂

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Grave Jones

2 years

Confession: for the past 2 years I’ve been spending the end of year holidays on a hospital couch next to one of the most important people in my life. Anything festive about this period has forever vanished from my heart and memories. Cancer is a bitch. Take care of one another 🖤

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Top 10 in Lebanon list on Netflix 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

Can someone ask their life coach if I can fill the tank of my car with positive energy?

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

I just saw a picture of friends at a brunch in Paris and it weirded the hell out of me. That’s how alien any semblance of normalcy feels right now. And I’m not a demanding person. All I wanted was to be left in peace to write books and play rock n’ roll. What a waste of life.

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Grave Jones

2 years

انا كتير مبسوط ان في كم اوادم من المستقلّين عم بيخرقوا ، بس لو فينا نبطّل نهتفلن "نحنا معك حتى الموت" و نهتفلن "نحنا معك طالما بتمثلنا و ما بتكذب و لا بتغلط" بيكون افضل. جرصتونا قدّام الاجانب ولوووه

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

11 months

Erdogan addressing himself to the people of Tripoli

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

When you’re craving falafel but don’t want to feel too “nia2 les pauvres”

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Grave Jones

2 years

Meit Berri >> Beit Merri

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Grave Jones

2 years

هجرة الادمغة lol

@tayyarmontreal

tayyar Montréal

@tayyarmontreal

2 years

#من_الانتشار_صوتي_للتيار @Gebran_Bassil #تيار_وطني_حر

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Grave Jones

2 years

In Lebanon you can walk the dogs and swim at the same time

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Grave Jones

3 years

This is a genocide by the Lebanese state against its own people. This is a genocide by the Lebanese state against its own people. This is a genocide by the Lebanese state against its own people. This is a genocide by the Lebanese state against its own people. This is a genocide b

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Grave Jones

5 years

أنا ما رح قوم من التخت قبل ما أتلقى أوامر من @nadinenjeim تأعرف شو مشروعنا نحنا المشاهير اليوم.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

19 days

Mother turns 62 today. She spent the last 3 years fighting the biggest battle of her life. I don’t know where she finds the unreal strength and determination she embodies everyday, but I still feel like a tiny helpless boy looking at his mother like she’s an otherworldly giant 🖤

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Grave Jones

2 years

So the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard trial is finally over and the winner is Nabih Berri.

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Grave Jones

4 years

Aoun’s own men from the 80s, army officials and soldiers who lost blood and friends and family fighting alongside him under his command, are one by one turning their backs on him. Why is 20 year old dentistry student at USJ Makram still insisting on defending him is beyond me.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

I’m tired of pseudo-intellectuals going: “you’re oversimplifying the situation, Lebanon has more than one problem” whenever you criticise HA. If you have a twisted ankle, a toothache, and indigestion, and a stage 4 cancer, you have many problems. But you address the cancer first.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

Remember when you used to lecture foreigners about the fact that Lebanon is NoT a DeSeRt WiTh No CaRs aNd nO eLeCtRiCiTy? Yeah, call those guys back and apologise. Now.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

6 months

“We will do to Beirut the same thing we are doing to Gaza.” Wait a minute what do you mean! Haven’t you been saying for over a month that you’re just “defending yourself” in Gaza? 😂

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

The main problem I have with anti-vaxxers is not health related, it’s that they won’t shut up about it. Motherfuckers turned out to be worse than the vegan, crossfit and yoga people combined.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

Day 3 // Still no resignation, no apology, no explanation, no initiatives to fix anything. Only the army beating and arresting angry protesters. If someone had pitched this as a scenario for a movie, it would’ve been deemed poor for not being credible enough.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

@franakviacorka And in 1937 they probably said: “This feels like 1881 not 1937.” This unfounded belief in a linear progress of human ethics is a naïveté of the enlightenment. It’s endearing but we need to get over it.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

In Lebanese TV series even the starving farmer’s daughter from the Ottoman empire era has her eyebrows and makeup done at Krystel Beauty Parlour.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Her past 14 months were made of hospital beds, ICU stays, brain surgery, lung surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, targeted therapy, covid and all sorts of scans and procedures, and she still apologises every time I go see her if she isn’t fit enough to make food. 🖤

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Grave Jones

1 year

You know what the most tragic part is? It’s that in spite of all the jokes about having 2 time zones, we’re going to make it work. We’re actually going to spend a month adapting to 2 time zones. They’ll call us ReSiLiEnT and resourceful and “ya allah ma fi metel el lebnenyyé!” 🤢

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Grave Jones

3 years

Nothing enrages me more than the thought that as a human being, my everyday life, my well-being and the well-being of my loved ones are actually dependent on decisions made by a bunch of dumb, incompetent, dishonest people I want nothing to do with. Like leave me the fuck alone.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

We the people of Achrafieh welcome the French variant with open arms 😍

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Elon Musk should’ve bought Lebanon too since it can’t get any worse anyway

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

6 years

Lebanese politicians can’t solve the garbage crisis because they are the garbage crisis.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

9 years

#ADifferentStory tonight. http://t.co/CCDSiW8e4o

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

درست تسع سنين في الجامعة و صرلي ستّ سنين بعلّم في الجامعة بس رابعة “TV host” قرّرت انّي جاهل و عاق و غير حضاري لأن بستعمل كلمات مش عربية بس احكي 😭🤡

@rabiazayyat

Rabia Zayyat

2 years

سلامات ..الأرض بتتكلّم عربي

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Grave Jones

2 years

Wife 🖤

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Grave Jones

3 years

Take me back to when our biggest outrage was the Abdelaziz sisters trying to be the Lebanese Kardashians.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

You know what’s surreal? Listening to a podcast about crypto, NFTs, Blockchain and the world of the future while living in a country with Gebran Bassil and no electricity or fuel.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

Anticipating a second blast during the minutes that followed the explosion, when no one knew what was happening, whether there were airstrikes or many bombs around the city, unaware of when or where it was going to hit will forever remain the most terrifying moment of our lives.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Ballachna. Those lecturing about not going out to party on august 4, others preaching about what to post and what not to post, others telling us what’s insensitive and what’s permissible. Take it easy on each other, people. We’re lucky to be alive. Take care of one another. 🖤

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

My mom’s reaction to Charbel Khalil’s tweet about the LGBT 😂 ردّة فعل الوالدة على تغريدة شربل خليل عن الLGBTQ 😂 #الاستقلال_الحقيقي

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

So I guess we’re doomed to feel that we’re seconds away from dying every time we hear a loud sound, is that the deal? كسخت هالبلد

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

اليوم اكتشفت ان “anyway” بالعربي هي "حاصلو"

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

- Me to the dog: “leave it!” - Achrafieh tante: “yii elle s’appelle Yvette?”

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

5 years

خطاب ربيع سلّوم مباشرةً من الأشرفية My own LIVE revolution speech #لبنان_ينتفص

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Having tequila shots while shouting “wooo” at Bar du Port is not a crime, Jessica. So unless you and your bestie Alain actually murder a family of five in cold blood with a chainsaw in broad daylight, stop calling yourselves “PaRtNeRs iN CrImE” thank you.

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Grave Jones

4 years

سؤال قانون: ازالة صورة رئيس جمهورية جرم ضد القانون و الدستور بس تدمير و تمزيق العلم اللبناني شيء كثير عادي و مسموح؟ 🤔 #لبنان_ينتفض

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

Phone calls and SMS. A dream come true 😍

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

You’re wasting time with your 2 cents about a potential Israeli hit. The real question is: what were 2700 tons of dangerous chemicals and/or explosives doing in the middle of our city with the knowledge of government officials and directors and militia? Clean your house first.

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Grave Jones

4 years

Before making fun of the people asking for France to take control, contemplate the depth of the despair a population must reach before they’d rather be occupied by a foreign power than be “independently” ruled by their own people. That’s a more interesting question.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

It’s kind of funny that Karen Wazen released a video a few days ago telling us to EmBrAcE OuR FLaWs because EvEryOne iS BeAuTiFul and now she’s a judge on #MissLebanon2022 basically ranking girls based on which one is prettier lol

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Lebanese sweets are such a scam. They don’t taste like anything unless you drown them in that sugar syrup “ater” thing, and once you do that, they all start tasting exactly the same: like sugar syrup!

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Grave Jones

3 years

Another (rare) beautiful night for Lebanon! My brother and boxing hero Nadim Salloum raises our flag high after a brilliant performance and 2nd round knockout in Atlanta! The massive support was heartwarming. This is how we want to talk about Lebanon. Always. I’m so proud! 🖤🇱🇧🥊

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Grave Jones

1 year

I love how this Dutch earthquake guy has to keep explaining to Arabs that he’s not a prophet 😂

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

1 year

Tab here’s an idea, since everyone is too scared to stay home, why don’t we use this as an excuse to head to Martyrs Square and start a thawra again?

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

In "felt cute, might delete later," what does the "might deleter later" imply exactly? Is it a threat? An invitation for whoever cares to save the photo while they can? A display of relatable vulnerability and insecurity underneath a seemingly overconfident vanity? I'm confused.

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Grave Jones

2 years

My attempt to spend 3 days in a row in Batroun failed

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

I’m hanging out in front of the voting centre waving a Costa Rica flag and it’s confusing everyone 😂

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

كتير cute كيف الجيش اللبناني بيختفي كل ما يبيّن قمصان سود و عصا و هيك 😍 #عرس_ديموقراطي

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Grave Jones

2 years

You’d think the currency exchange guys are the only crooks playing that old vs new dollar bill scam but no, even hospitals are now demanding “new” dollars bills only. This country needs to be burned to the ground with every existing life form on it down to the smallest amoeba.

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Grave Jones

3 years

Psychologists need to start diagnosing a form a burnout unrelated to work. Burnout from Lebanon.

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Grave Jones

1 year

Guys meche el 7al RIKKYZ is on our side ✊🏼😂

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

يا ريت كان موجود هذا النقيب لمّا حضرتك كنت تبعت هول الدرك نفسن على تجمعات "عبّادين شيطان و مثليين و مدمنين على المخدرات." مش كلنا نسينا، و مش بس بعض الأحزاب هي التي تحاول ركوب موجة الثورة. في كثير "صحافيين" كمان. #لبنان_ينتفض

@joemaalouftv

joemaalouf جو معلوف

4 years

نقيب المحامين و محامي المنتفضين من أمام ثكنة الحلو لمساعدة جميع من تم توقيفهم #لبنان_ينتفض

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

I have a thing for hotel, mall and restaurant employees when they lose their mandatory smile and hang out outside the back door smoking a cigarette and bitching about their day.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

That Nirvana baby even recreated the image himself as an adult. Twice. He now says he’s upset about being “famous for nothing.” What fame? Who recognises a baby 30 years later? 😂 Okay dude’s broke and wants easy money, just give it to him already and put this bullshit to rest.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

10 months

Rest in peace, Chef Ramzi 💔 Remembering his passion, talent, humour, patience, kindness and playfulness. We lost a wonderful human being and a rare, genuine class act in Lebanese popular culture. I wish his family and friends all the strength in the world going through grief.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

What did I tell you yesterday? On the 15th at night we get the actual results, on the 16th we get the final modified results 😍

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

Avec madame 🖤

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

طيب ازا برلين صارت الشياح ليش ما بتاخدوا الاستيذ لهونيك ؟

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

3 years

When you study and work in humanities you find it impossible to blame people for who they are; because you know they’re just the product of their environment and they’re not responsible for any of it. Still, I sometimes like to make exceptions so: ايري بالحوش

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

4 years

I feel uneasy about the gradual return to normalcy, because it seems like it’s based on nothing other than people getting antsy. There’s still no cure, no vaccine, our healthcare system didn’t magically turn into Denmark’s. I’m worried about that 2nd wave. And I hope I’m wrong.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

1 year

@AcidBurn_TD Please please let me know if Carlos answers 😂😂😭😭😂😂😭😭

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

2 years

Always address your Druze friend with the pronoun “They.” Not because they’re non-binary, but because they’re the living reincarnation of a bunch of other people at once.

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@iamgravejones

Grave Jones

5 years

*Orders Uber* *Ali is known for great conversation* *Cancels Uber*

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