𝐿🫗 @mayerlingwaltz Twitter profile

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

ok thread of tweets that always make me laugh (I will add to this periodically)🪡

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Last Seen Profiles

@cloudcastlesgg

@qb_zac

@NBAStatGuy_

@sonzaru

@Chilled_Yogi

@SAFRAN

@RedBear3000

@RHBNCalumni

@JayAndreas___

@renaetoyou

@ConferenceTb

@CometMedal

@Bianca_792

@ChloeRussum2024

@PonyHype

@Kyrokana

@DukeFEN

@hijabjilbab1

@DephaseuR

@Bg6V4

@toyritz

@alwaleedalradhi

@myujeonjk

@Athena_benny

@sosoru_gurume

@_dakotalang

@OnlyChimps

@QMULnews

@MansBail

@Reha_the_witch

@apachelasminas

@toyritz

@nicolawealth

@OChirikian

@toyritz

@BehavioralMed

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@thesolarcoffee once I read that “you look like a future pedophile” was a line added by jonah and i💀

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

in light of that daily beast article about shein king’s grift im bringing back this classic

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@sonyashea3 the damage rupi kaur has done to modern poetry …

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@diandrasdiandra all this for 20% on rotten tomatoes

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@mayerlingwaltz

11 months

im gonna get accused of defending her but im not i just think this is in poor taste

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@opinionstwtt

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

Dawg

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@BoneJail

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@marisatomay

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

martin scorsese when he sees joe russo

The A.V. Club

@TheAVClub

1 year

Avengers: Endgame director Joe Russo expects a fully AI movie within two years

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@LazlosGhost He should be allowed to do that

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@itsnotjess123 every time a squishy funnyman gets all jacked and dehydrated for a marvel movie I

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@sxarlights every american versus european slapfight on here is like “hehe it’s chewsday innit” “WELL AT LEAST WE DON’T HAVE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS!”

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

(setting aside that amber’s lawyer was just using it as a prop) what did milani+deppford wives even think they were proving here?? Do they think they invented color correction palettes in 2017 and it’s impossible for her to have used one by another brand and misremembered?

Conducive Coder

@mehtabackupacc

9 months

“I had the rare vantage point of seeing, in real time, how institutions protect men accused of abuse” - Amber Heard

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

I love this video so much

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@micah_erfan South Q’aru Al-Inah

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

everyone watch this clip from Darkman

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

oppenheimer: I feel like I have blood on my hands🙁 truman:

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@TheBraytonCycle @AtticusGF I call him shein king bc i know he name searches and i don’t want him to sic his followers on me lol

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@elizabethbelsky omg I remember that. and they were like “well she didn’t have to include that in the musical. she could’ve changed it” lmfao

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@itsnotjess123 I love lisa. I remember watching an interview where she talked about resisting the urge to get plastic surgery and learning to accept aging and love herself how she is. queen shit.

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@elusivefemme a recent example is that “burn after reading” letter brian landrie’s mother wrote him. made my skin crawl

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@criminalplaza hot chocolate song is a jumpscare

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

troy: *going through annie’s purse* uh, guys? what does a pregnancy test look like? jeff: plastic stick with a thing on the end troy: okay so this is definitely a gun

Forrest Cardamenis

@FCardamenis

1 year

What’s the funniest joke in the history of television? Has to be a single joke/gag don’t come here detailing entire episodes and story arcs. “Dead dove do not eat” type of stuff.

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@itsnotjess123 when she gave a heartbreaking performance as reid’s schizophrenic mother on criminal minds…

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@RhodeToLove my dad said it took him a while to realize banshees was set in the 20s. “it could’ve been the 90s because that’s just what ireland is like” he thought the civil war they referred to = the troubles💀

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

off the top of my head…I think about this all the time

Forrest Cardamenis

@FCardamenis

1 year

What’s the funniest joke in the history of television? Has to be a single joke/gag don’t come here detailing entire episodes and story arcs. “Dead dove do not eat” type of stuff.

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 month

@_glorianas STJ saw Mary Queen of Scots (2018) and said “I can do worse”

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@RevampedCP I’d do it for $2

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@pacinosroy Literally like if I see people hating on a woman for asinine reasons that’s my sister now

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@loversinfilm Literally you can’t compliment a woman’s outfit on here without someone looking for clout saying that

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

if I was one of the “nepo babies” on the cover of ny mag today I would just tweet this and turn off my phone

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@HitFactoryPod do these people think that actors in regular movies/tv are having literal penetrative sex on camera

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

@vanillatary I don’t understand people who are totally anti-adoption. where are those kids supposed to go?

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

nobody understands kathryn newton’s amy march like i do

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@yangcuddygf he’s gonna claim it was a joke but that doesn’t stop it from being an extremely cringe bad joke

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 month

“You won’t ever know the worst that happened to Nicole Brown Simpson in her marriage, because she is dead and cannot tell you. And if she were alive, remember, you wouldn’t believe her.”

In Memory of Nicole Brown Simpson

Evergreen Review

evergreenreview.com

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

martin scorsese’s recently retired dad helped out with the costumes for mean streets because catherine was like “would you PLEASE get your father out of the house”

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@strangeharbors NUANCE? in MY critically acclaimed movie???

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

@loversinfilm I don’t think it would translate well to film but isn’t Lathimos the one signed on?

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@sock_dem average french couple

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@shootingaflower don’t forget Him (mr gary veep)

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

I would literally wear this today it’s called drip

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@Krishan_A_Patel you’re one of few men on here i’ve seen stick up for amber so thank you (: she’s so unfairly hated

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@ImNotOwned colbert called newsom “matthew mcconaughey playing mitt romney in a biopic” and I can’t stop thinking about it

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

@TheDouggernaut written by this guy

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@pfaffphobic I like how he always looks like he rubbed tomato sauce all over his face…italian king

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@IvanaE so proud of her

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@marisatomay there’s a particular kind of mcu fan (usually male) who will consume any slop marvel puts out but when it’s something with a female lead they suddenly develop standards. “the cgi looks weird and the dialogue is bad” damn dude you just noticed??

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

how dare you put mia goth next to sailor tradcath

misha꙳

@schizarella

10 months

what do we call this genre of woman?

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

thought this was james cameron

Ben 🏳️‍🌈🍀🎬

@The_GM_is_God

10 months

Ken if his job was Beach that makes you old

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@manicpixiehack won’t someone PLEASE think of the fundie slave state? 😢

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

apologize to amber

Milani Cosmetics

@milanicosmetics

9 months

Shout out to all the inspirational, powerful women in our lives! Happy Women’s Equality Day today, and everyday✊💁‍♀️💖 #milani #milanicosmetics #crueltyfree #beauty #WomensEqualityDay

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

meeti

@meetimeeti

1 year

how do you serve cunt but in a bald way?

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@MatthewDownhour won’t someone PLEASE think of the poor taliban fighters?

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@_sn_n happy pride to him

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@_sn_n why does he look like wallace with hair

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@PerfectGameLex piers morgan after larry king died…

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@agraybee I will be the guy who paints pride flags on the drones

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@mayerlingwaltz

8 months

doja cat’s pr team every week

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@vanillaopinions

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@thesolarcoffee if you’re making a movie about something bad that happened to you it must include a title card that says “OTHER PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE BTW”

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@mayerlingwaltz

11 months

anne of cleves’s father was one of SIXTY FOUR children??

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@parispoetics he was worse than jfk and clinton combined half the conflict on that show came from him not being able to keep it in his pants…someone put him on SSRIs

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

whenever I see a post about like buccal fat removal or something:

cowboy postbop (Dan Lehner)

@danlehnermusic

1 year

What's a tweet that's so canonical in your mind you make shorthand reference to it, even if people might not know what you're talking about? (I sometimes just say "uh oh y'all it's gettin' kinda hazy" expecting people to get it)

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

Ladies who was your favorite

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

op turned off reblogs but facts

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@reelandroll he looks mummified

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@mayerlingwaltz

11 months

what does this job title even mean

Kim

@TheKimbino

11 months

They only invited people with zero critical thinking, eating this propaganda up!

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 month

a lot of you after hearing the OJ news:

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

i genuinely thought this was a meme and not a real scene from a movie

yuuko from nichijou

@headfallsoff

1 year

what is the needle drop from a movie that most knocked you out in a how the fuck am i hearing this right now way. mine is when wolf of wall street started playing me first and the gimme gimmes out of nowhere

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@fiImgal why did they have a child together post-divorce…free her!!!

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

makeup culture has such a hold on this generation that any woman who lightly criticizes it gets called a pick me/antifeminist/bitch I hate it here

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

anya taylor-joy behind the scenes of EMMA. (2020) photographed by autumn de wilde

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@fiImgal They r just having fun

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@FilmUpdates

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

@iramadisonthree 15 year old me after pirating this

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

how is this a real movie

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

imagine the podcast they could host together…

aiman

@dumbsoftheart

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1 year

@strangeharbors

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

he would run deuxmoi like the navy

John McCafferty

@jdmccafferty

9 months

1 Sept 1529: Eustache Chapuys arrives in #London as Imperial ambassador #otd Without his letters we’d know far less, & we’d have less #Tudor court gossip

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@mayerlingwaltz

9 months

it’s awesome how barbenheimer got ppl who exclusively watch stuff for babies to go see an r rated biopic with a couple of tame sex scenes and they’re reacting like it’s Salò

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

@wheeinsido yes and when she got called out for it she was like “uwu im only 24 and 3 years out of college i make mistakes🥺”

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@mayerlingwaltz

11 months

ana mardoll Lockheed Martin gate was my favorite day on here, and his defenders made it even better

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@MiddleEastTakes love watching people online slowly figure out race isn’t a science

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@DavidDTSS *clears throat and taps mic* Shein King

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@mayerlingwaltz

2 years

im still not over how cringe this was. asking scorsese to make a marvel movie is elder abuse

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

2 years

“You can ask Scorsese ‘Would you want to make a Marvel movie?’ But he doesn’t know what it’s like because he’s never made one. I’ve made Marvel movies & movies that have been in conversation for Oscars & the only difference is one is much more expensive than other” – Tom Holland

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@mayerlingwaltz

3 years

@TheSneerReview I just had to explain the syrian civil war to my 14y/o sister bc of this im going to lose my Mind

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@mayerlingwaltz

10 months

it wouldn’t even make logistical sense to test it in another country! you’d have to move all those people and all that equipment abroad! and without anyone tipping off the germans!

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@mayerlingwaltz

1 year

@fiImgal I knew kathryn would be the one who paid the price for qu*ntumania being bad but i didn’t think it would pick up so quick😕

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@mayerlingwaltz