🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻 Profile Banner
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻 Profile
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻

@TheWageClown

461
Followers
813
Following
538
Media
9,252
Statuses

Sure is a nice, normal evening we’re having isn’t it fellas?

He/Him
Joined January 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
Describe yourself using only pictures of your locker at work
Tweet media one
2
2
18
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 months
@roun_sa_ville I had no idea that was the story behind the litter box thing, my coworker’s wife worked at that school and I only heard the insane person version. I always make sure to tell him that everything he tells me from the news is wrong, though.
4
11
5K
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@Arianrh14052591 @JacobDisagrees How the fuck is this man wearing an Abercrombie T-shirt in 1865
9
16
2K
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@f1_headassery @headfallsoff Even better, the food ratings were a scheme to get people to drive more so they’ll buy more tires
8
13
2K
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@stevanzetti My elementary school had one of these that they demolished, piece by piece, over the course of months, DURING RECESS HOURS. We had to play in a dirt field or whatever and watch as construction workers destroyed our playground. I think about this a lot.
9
13
2K
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@lemonade_grrrl Some people work in supermarkets and are subjected to stomp clap hey for several hours a day
8
41
2K
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@FaZe_Arxidi @WilcoWes There is some incredibly foul shit going on in the Baltic and Scandinavian countries
10
3
534
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@l0n9w4yh0m3 @sandyhonig I went to a college with a shitty art program, and I don’t remember a single freshman photographer who was this bad
2
1
494
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@EverydayBastiat This is completely unsustainable, and the world does not and should not exist so that you can wiggle your fingers at treats while millions of people starve.
26
14
449
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
14 days
@ShiaphobiaLB Where can I get a Hezbollah shirt without my name going in a filing cabinet in Virginia, I’ve wanted one for so long
27
7
449
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@Srirachachau I wish I had also taken pictures of the backs of these games because they were all uniquely insane, but this Florida flea market had some truly remarkable titles from another era.
Tweet media one
16
7
358
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 months
@Rizorockski1 @SuspectFed A Twitter ironyposter faceapped himself to look like a girl as a joke, and a legion of morons accused him of being a fed trying to somehow entrap people.
5
0
312
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
7 months
5
1
295
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
10 months
@boss_on_here Strawberries, blueberries, and watermelon on her budget? Mother of the fucking year honestly
0
1
285
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@buttersnappity @Cocadami @ghoulpilled Maybe. Philly Elmo is one of our hometown heroes, but I don’t know how many other cities have their own Elmo.
Tweet media one
3
7
248
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
9 months
@Halalcoholism @polishXcellence I work with conservatives and I’m quite close with them, but there is no escaping the fascism behind their thinking. We can be having a great time on the shop floor, but as soon as race, gender, or cultural issues come up I know I’m about to hit the limits on “mostly ok people”.
3
1
256
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@polishXcellence Throw a sepia filter on this and replace the black dancers with white ones and he’d be crying a single tear and asking what happened to culture
2
5
250
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
19 days
This feels like the first time I saw a spotted lantern fly after reading about how harmful they are
Tweet media one
4
13
245
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@Anvir14 @snuffbby @jimmyoutsold Good point. Turn the pan on high, salt the steak more than you’d expect, and watch 10-15 TikToks. Then throw the steak on and watch 8-14 more. It should be loud when it sizzles. Flip it and watch another 6-12 TikToks. Both sides should be dark brown. Done.
1
6
227
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@BWWings The whole point of boneless wings is so that your hands don’t get messy, if you’re getting sauce all over your fingers for BONELESS wings you’re little more than an animal
1
4
224
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 months
@wisepissmage It signals that you’re white and in your late twenties to early thirties
4
2
221
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
9
1
212
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@TalonPipes @danwaterfield @TFrancooo I really like how they tried to gently pivot by changing to a Y, before coming to their senses and abandoning the bit all together
5
1
199
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 months
@roun_sa_ville As conservatives grow rapidly more deranged, I wonder how much they’ll become isolated from the general consensus and how much they’ll drag normal people with them. Seems pretty bad so far!
2
3
202
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@snuffbby @jimmyoutsold It is very low effort. All it takes is salt and about 10 minutes with minimal supervision. Literally anyone can do it, it’s often the first thing I do when I come home after working for 8 and a half hours.
3
1
180
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@esthermirirose How is it even possible to tell a “Mark Zuckerberg is an alien” story in which he comes off more human than you?
1
1
190
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@polishXcellence This is massively embarrassing for me but I don’t think I could explain it much more specifically than “Germany was fucking with our money too much to let it slide”
2
0
187
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
8 days
@sugarbets_ @BrawlYash @MikeDrucker He had a story about how on menswear forums back in the day somebody made a claim about their shoes being hand-welted or something, and another poster shelled out $400 for a pair only to destroy them and prove they were machined. Most people can’t handle the heat he was forged in
3
1
191
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@AntiAtlanticism My anti-mask, anti-vax coworker is the only human being I’ve met in real life who doesn’t just parrot mainstream news about the conflict. He even mentioned that the US put both governments in power. Astounding shit.
3
4
157
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
7 months
@NotPotBol Things that annoy people: -holding complicated niche positions -being incredibly passionate about these positions -being unabashedly correct when everyone else is wrong Ergo, we’re the most annoying people on earth
6
4
158
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@MEASURED_HEAD @AntiAtlanticism I am losing my fucking mind
0
1
144
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
Tweet media one
0
0
142
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@dklmarxist If a straight man knows the names of male porn stars and can describe their attributes like nba stats, he has completely lost the way
0
0
138
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
21 days
@Manchu__ @mollyfleck You’re awful at assessing risk and you’re adopting antisocial behaviors because of it
1
0
156
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@MattWatchGundam @b1g_damage “The Fever”, a one-man play. There doesn’t seem to be footage of him performing it, but I can link an audio-only version of someone else performing it. I can’t recommend it strongly enough
3
0
134
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 months
@billybrizzle420 I’m not going to talk shit about someone wearing a Keffiyeh, but does your admin know you can just drive to the store and buy a brush?
1
0
136
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@NativeLandgrab @ztsamudzi So you agree that any honest attempt at progress in Xinjiang should include expanded language programs for the Uyghur language, cultural centers for their traditions, and perhaps even mosques so they can practice their religion. Well I have some good news for you!
3
3
118
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@yalls_nebby @aardvarkwizard The toe boots are an under-appreciated part of the grift, if you try this in sketchers your ass is going to jail
0
2
122
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
5 years
@BolshevikPotato ML: Most successful revolutions utilized vanguard parties and other Leninist ideas Weird ML: I have a 5 year plan to bring Stalin back from the dead and reconstitute purges to weed out anarchists and revisionists
0
7
98
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
11 days
@paleocapital @Ginko_02 You have single-handedly changed my mind. The blockchain is good now
0
0
125
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@zachsilberberg @picardsteacup I feel like the movie would have made much less of a cultural impact if the face of the movie was fundamentally incapable of acting. We wouldn’t be having a cultural conversation because the movie would be forgotten immediately
1
0
112
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@revdefeat I would personally delete this as soon as someone pointed out that it’s a Star Wars thing and not The Black Sun OR the Chaos symbol, but you do you
2
0
101
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@Deadlydogwins @amindfulmanlet @br00t4lism There’s plenty of art that actively rejects the fascism of our culture, and there has been for a very long time. Some of it’s actually pretty good.
5
0
94
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@circum_centrist They dress like this until they’re at least 23, after that they go full libertarian and wear ill-fitting dress clothes
0
0
85
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 months
@yooty Lmao Mexican families are like 4 kids minimum and non-immediate family at the house constantly, family pack has an entirely different meaning to us
0
0
91
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@aBoiCalledTwon @regresssion Damn you got me beat, I didn’t check the comments before I did this
Tweet media one
0
0
88
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
26 days
@on_da_spectrum That was my biggest takeaway, I never hear guys who sound like this anymore and idk if it’s a regional accent or just from another time. To me it sounds like the 1980s-90s
2
0
88
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 months
@buzzfeedjenny Eating fruits and high protein foods isn’t an eating disorder, it’s how humans are supposed to eat
4
0
87
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@billybrizzle420 I am Latino and I would prefer your guy with no hesitation
0
0
88
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@neggdarkamora @Arianrh14052591 @JacobDisagrees Come on man, we’re all having fun online over here
1
0
78
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@jokieliu Lol holy shit, their propaganda is getting better
1
0
67
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@desdemona31 @VICENews This guy fucking owned you
0
1
60
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@eliwizardry @gun_toucher I started doing this as a joke when I was a kid, but now I don’t even think about it until someone makes fun of me for drinking a pint of Guinness with my pinky out
3
2
73
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 months
@polisci4bimbos I don’t know you or your brother but from the way that you present this, he has a better grip on the situation than you do
5
0
73
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@DiabolicalSpuds My takeaway is that we desperately need a literacy campaign for Oklahoma
1
1
74
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@capgunsz @lemonade_grrrl There are even speakers in the meat freezer. I would happily freeze my ass of if it meant that I could escape the shittiest songs from when I was in high school, but that’s not even an option.
0
0
69
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@chillextremist This is Max, for now
Tweet media one
2
0
70
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@laserboat999 Philly Wawa during the 2020 uprising was an even mix of cops, rioters, and regulars all waiting patiently for their coffee and not saying shit to each other
0
3
66
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@AnonMLatTw @UnevenSyntax Did you think this makes you look good and relatable?
2
0
57
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
26 days
@redroIa Love him so much lmao
0
1
70
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
1
0
63
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
1
0
63
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 months
@peac3_by_piece Mine, even though it isn’t a happy one, is the one where he used to correspond with Hamas and he implored them to try non-violence but after the Great March of Return he never reached out again because of how ashamed he was once it failed. I respect him a lot for admitting it.
1
3
64
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@RabbiZvi Remind me, which country militarily supported South Africa’s apartheid regime?
2
1
57
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@SMuhrine @garfxist Writing that many posts about scribbling on a flyers is deeply depressing
0
0
59
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
“Don’t use organizing spaces to date people”— Don’t date other communists! That sounds fucking exhausting! Date a normal person who sees a picture of Lenin and asks if it’s Louis CK. Make them a casual communist sympathizer, you will be 1000 times happier and more well-adjusted
1
7
58
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
20 days
@Trust_Lion_ As we get older and college gets farther and farther behind us, our social circles tighten considerably. Making friends as an adult can be difficult and many people are limited to coworkers. It’s nice to get back in touch with old friends, that’s probably all she’s trying to do.
1
0
63
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@afab_acab @radek_ratel @DaveJProbert @ArakinEU This fucking screencap from the movie kills me every time
0
0
60
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
7 months
@billybrizzle420 When I saw the food in the drained sink I audibly gasped
1
0
56
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@timerube “Oh wait she’s literally just mad that her parents made her go to Hitler Youth School. That’s her whole deal”
1
1
53
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@bunnybroiler @paynushaver @laserboat999 Because I’m Mexican and now I can read it and think “hell yeah brother”
0
1
55
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@bidetmarxman Your threads are incredible, thank you so much for putting in the time to research this
2
0
55
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
7 months
@gayest_tone Talk therapy is paying someone $150 for them to show up late to a one hour conversation where 3/4 of it is small talk or telling them what you’ve been up to since the last time you paid them $150. How anyone falls for this is beyond me.
5
3
57
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@PissJugTycoon I like how he double and tripled down on it. “The air smells like sulfur” Applause “The devil was here” Applause “The devil was in this room” Applause “The president of the United States is the devil”
1
1
45
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@DavidHarrisAJC He literally did not do that much to help, and when you weigh his contributions agains his work in India it’s pretty clear that he’s responsible for more harm than good
3
0
47
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@tamphopho Tito, respected by all for being both an Inspiring Revolutionary Communist and an Effective Bulwark Against Communism
1
1
49
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@IbnRukn @dallin_hibdon This was 4 years after a US-backed insurrection that put a bunch of literal fascists in the government
0
0
45
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
1 year
@caval_ierr @SwampCommunist This is one of the least objectionable things I’ve ever read
3
0
53
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@Yuri_The_Wolf @strike_dr It’s in the Balkans, not the Baltic’s, and like everything in the balkans it’s messy. It’s home to Albanians, Serbs, and other folks. Different people who live there have different ideas about what country the land should belong to.
3
0
44
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 months
1
0
52
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@ScienceWasWrong @the_dugster @hoggan @MargBarAmerica @ursulaklesin @joeg3rnaut Where is the “none of our food is full of microplastics and carcinogens” store? I don’t think we have one near me
2
0
49
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@byler_t117 @postingtwink I’m sure there are at least a handful of outliers that just aren’t on the graph, this isn’t a very exhaustive list of cities. You’re absolutely right about the regression line though, this is crazy
1
0
52
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@justinboldaji It’s a reference to an old South Park episode, this is how they depicted Steve Irwin shortly after his death.
Tweet media one
8
0
43
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
5 months
@polishXcellence Will Stancil has such a band understanding of cause and effect that I’m a little surprised he’s not just an open reactionary
5
1
48
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
15 days
@Mondoweiss Oh cool like a whole nation of Dr. Mengeles. That’s probably good
0
1
50
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 months
@billybrizzle420 A few months ago my friend’s girlfriend was on his case about his porn addiction so he deleted reddit and Twitter from his phone, then she complained to me the other day that he redownloaded Reddit “for Star Wars lore” lmao
1
1
49
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@KayBright_ @loofycat @Pretendingsuh 2 minutes of googling was all it took to find this. You can’t say people are hiding the truth when you aren’t looking for it.
0
3
43
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@VottoPlantEmoji I’m honestly feeling more kinship with anarchists than ever. They’re doing a great fuckin job. Working alongside them today, our differences never felt more insignificant.
1
2
42
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@KingDavisss @4TheCulture____ Steve Willis is the best referee in boxing, no doubt about it
1
1
44
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
12 days
@SolisReport Post a picture where you think you look cool smoking a cigar
4
0
48
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@RabbiZvi Until the late 1980s, when Israel stood out as one of the only countries still willing to support the maintenance of apartheid
1
1
41
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 months
@drewfrumuhhhh This is the worst mosh pit I’ve ever seen, but he’s the best one in it
1
0
43
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
0
1
45
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
6 months
@randermm One hundred million Native Americans were killed by European colonization
1
0
44
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@ChlamydiaRises This is actually weirdly beautiful
0
0
38
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
2 years
@attackula @RexKwonDo92 Muslims ran the Ottoman Empire, and people of other faiths had to pay additional taxes. So they converted as a tax dodge, which rocks
1
0
39
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
4 years
@GerardCrane6 @elliotwhu @joebarlow08 Can someone PLEASE tell me what “heavy scran that joe” means
2
1
41
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@imblackonline Never in my life have I seen so many OSHA violations in 10 seconds
2
3
32
@TheWageClown
🔻Tim Allen’s Electric Fuck Machine🔻
3 years
@JamesQPurcell @slythwalker_28 @IronBloodAika I don’t like to wave around my art degree for clout, but just based on things like color and composition this sucks ass
1
0
33