Joyce @yuhsinjc Twitter profile

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@HHMusicOfficial The life circumstances that bring two people to "sit next to each other in class" are strong filters. There's a larger amount of shared context, and higher chances of running into each other again. I haven't used a dating app before, but "IRL chance" filters may be better!

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@clhubes My husband has been using our 3 yo daughter as an external memory bank since she could talk. Finding objects, remembering tasks...

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

7 months

@VividVoid_ @made_in_cosmos Eat delicious food at each other's houses, conceal from each other how much butter goes in it, everyone is happy.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

From experience with my toddler, I can see why setting rules is costly, and parents procrastinate doing it, especially in inconvenient places (like planes). Once you announce a new rule ("don't throw the fork, or I'll take it away"), the "salami slicing" begins!

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

I've been told ambitious people need to be deluded about their chance of success, or they wouldn't have the motivation to start. However, in my personal life, I succeed at doing hard things mostly by being calibrated on how hard they are and bringing the required force to bear.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

The frame "what spaces are acceptable for approaching women" is misleading. Rejecting requests is risky and unpleasant. Knowing this, when crafting a request, you want to minimize the impact to both of you. The gold standard is "both can pretend the request never happened".

goblin costanza, worm moder

@goblinodds

1 year

the actual rule is "dont be creepy. yes, some people think everything is creepy but it isnt, ignore them" i expect this raises a lot of questions-- i'll try to address these downthread

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

7 months

3yo and 1yo were fighting over a toy truck. 1 yo, barely hanging on to the toy, declared "no! BABY's turn!" and placed the toy on the 5 mo baby. Both older children respected this decision, and the baby lay with the truck on her belly for a while. Baby dispute resolution.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

Advice from a mom of 10: Everything you do must be sustainable. If you do it right, the teenage years will be harder than the toddler years; they will come to you with more complicated issues. If it's a choice between your eldest not having kids (through burnout from taking

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@growing_daniel Maybe. While looking up the composer of video game music I like, I found these adorable images (Darren Korb)!

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

@Born2Pee @AdamSinger There were multiple employees living this way at Google, and as long as it was under the radar, i.e. it didn't make the news (like this guy), security seemed to let it slide. But once it's in the news, Google can't have plausible deniability.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

If you didn't set the rule, toddler probably would've moved on. But now that you've drawn attention to the activity, she's not going to stop until the activity is thoroughly explored. Good news is, after consistent enforcement, salami slicing does end, and it's less work after.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Things I haven't made up my mind about: The trade-off of coercion in parenting. From about age 2, my husband has been letting our now 3 yo daughter make soft boiled eggs, pancakes, and on one occasion, drive (steer) a van (on private roads).

Matt Bateman

@mbateman

1 year

If you’re agency-centric enough to install the lock with your child step by step, show her how it works, and align on the rationale—but structure-friendly enough to be willing to install the lock in the first place—you might find yourself in some unusual parenting spots.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@goth600 Erik Demaine, youngest professor in the history of MIT, blows glass with his dad:

Blindfolded Glass-Blowing Demonstration with Erik & Martin Demaine - Creative Pinellas

The artists/mathematicians marry art and science and stuntwork to blend glass and paper to fire up both sides of our brain.... Read More

creativepinellas.org

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Toddler wants to know, does "throw" include nonchalantly knocking the fork off the table, as if by accident? Does dropping the fork one inch count? What about winding up with the fork, but not actually throwing it? Waving it around menacingly? How about throwing other objects?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

Once a month we go camping with families from the local homeschooling co-op. Camping is like living in a walkable neighborhood where the children come out to climb trees and swim with their friends. It's funny to me that we need to go out of our way to have this environment.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@nabeelqu I'm reading a reddit thread about what Austin TX was like 10+ years ago, and people keep reminiscing about how cheap the rent and concerts were, and how fun it was to run around the place as a teenager.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@seconds_0 Gotta hand it to him for buying all his time back. I think owning your own time is a fundamental life skill.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@goth600 Where does research end and hobby begin? He also does pioneering work in origami and teaches classes like "geometric folding algorithms".

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

We started doing Khan Academy Kids with 2.5 yo a month ago. We began with 8 min sessions. I remember people complaining to me (before I had kids) that their kids had no concentration. Now I think kids have concentration; it may be very short, like 8 min for new tasks.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

When I lived in Colorado, I chatted with many financially independent people in the local "FI community". There is much ink spilt about tactics and financial optimization, but what is even more interesting to me is what people learned about themselves post-FI.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

In fact, for people who aspired to write, or make music, or any difficult endeavor they could fail at (in their own eyes), after they attained FI, they realized how much they used "needing to work" (including working hard for FI) as an excuse...

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

@simonsarris Being against McMansions doesn't mean being against new big houses in dense neighborhoods. Here's a 2551 sqft house plan that has light from 2 walls in each bedroom, array of windows for the dining room, finished attic, in a dense neighborhood.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@made_in_cosmos Revealed preferences! In any case I aspire to be a bearable parent and in-law.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@seconds_0 Certainly one can do more with it than play games in a tiny house, but it's comforting to have that as a baseline to fall back onto.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

11 months

@fchollet Incremental experimentation and "brute force" data gathering are generally required before we can distill the information into elegant equations that we can make predictions with. Experimentalists are often on the cutting edge and we only find out why things work afterwards.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Which do you prefer: - more (and earlier) opportunities for agency, but also more structure/boundaries, parents sometimes blocking you - the world *looks* like an open sandbox, childproofed, everything you see you can touch, low conflict with parents, more options hidden from you

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

I attended a women's meeting to discuss promoting engineering. One girl in a leather jacket stood up and said "my friends and I wanted to save the environment. They went into environmental sciences while I went nuclear. If we get them into engineering we can make REAL CHANGE!"

Katie Mummah

@nuclearkatie

2 years

Miss America is a NUCLEAR ENGINEER!!!! @Grace_Stanke is a senior in nuclear engineering at @UWMadisonEP , a former American Nuclear Society student chapter president, and now a national voice for clean energy as Miss America and Miss Wisconsin 2022

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

I have something called "mental crop rotation". It's not leisure, but rotating through fairly different mental activities preserves mental soil fertility.

Reb

@soundrotator

2 years

Something that seems obvious to me now but was lifechanging once was recognizing the importance of leisure that is restorative vs. leisure that is deceptively energy-depleting

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@SteveStuWill Similarly, hunters can wear blaze orange when hunting certain animals.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

... to not face the challenging task of figuring out how to reach their dream. They could have been working on their dream on the side all along, before FI. Kudos to them for pulling the excuse out from under themselves, even if FI wasn't "actually" necessary!

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

11 months

My husband and I treat our kids better than we treat each other or other people. So the lesson for me is flipped -- We could treat each other the way we treat our kids.

Martha

@SharpeMartha

11 months

We changed how we talked to our kids several years ago when we realized we’d never talk to a guest in our home or to each other in that way

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@made_in_cosmos Reddit. If I'm dissatisfied with my Google search results, I find myself adding "reddit" to my query. My favorite public knowledge bases tend to be poorly monetized, relative to their value to me.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

I learned about the history of nuclear nonproliferation in an unexpected place: a relationship book by the Hellmans. Hellman as in Diffie-Hellman key exchange. Martin Hellman announced the book when he accepted the Turing award in 2015. Curious, I decided to read their book.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

A common sentiment among FI people is they over-budgeted for FI. They planned as if they would never make a cent again, while in reality they accidentally make money doing random things they like. They wish they pulled the trigger sooner.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

Update on 3 yo's experience using Khan Academy Kids: - While traveling and moving etc., we had a break from using Khan Kids from April to July. - When we picked it back up again, something had clicked, and 3 yo is decoding more words than before. Words such as "kid", "mint". -

Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

We started doing Khan Academy Kids with 2.5 yo a month ago. We began with 8 min sessions. I remember people complaining to me (before I had kids) that their kids had no concentration. Now I think kids have concentration; it may be very short, like 8 min for new tasks.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Crafting plausibly deniable requests is much harder than identifying "acceptable spaces"! I'm sorry it's such a difficult task. I find it hard myself. It's easier to make requests to strangers, because you can just walk away upon rejection.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

I was feeding 11 mo smashed avocado by handing him loaded spoonfuls. He was getting it all into his mouth. He wanted to hold the bowl. "OK, you try feeding yourself." He smiled radiantly holding the bowl and spoon, and then smushed the bowl into his face like a clown with a pie.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

Long ago, my coworkers once asked me if I prepared for software interviews. "Like grind coding problems", they said. "No, I never studied", I said. Today I realized that even if they spent months grinding, I would technically have more hours because I used to TA a few CS courses.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@moseskagan "Just as houses all over America are full of chairs that are, without the owners even knowing it, nth-degree imitations of chairs designed 250 years ago for French kings, conventional attitudes about [money] are, without the owners even knowing it, nth-degree imitations of...

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

2 yo enjoys playing in the bath with 8 mo. 2 yo: [bath? baby brother?] Us: no, not right now. (Repeat interaction several times, always no.) 2 yo sneaks off to dirty 8 mo. 2 yo gesturing at 8 mo: wash now?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

10 months

@owenbroadcast Years of doing paper crafts make these captchas straightforward.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

11 months

@visakanv I heard "addiction is a hijacked learning process" in neurobiology class. There is something interesting about how an "addiction" can be reinforcing/compelling even if it's not super pleasurable or novel. Wonder if this kind of drive can be repurposed for great work?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

I was surprised to hear how much "living a good life" was a subtle skill to be learned. "I have resources and time now, why don't I feel any different?" turns out to be similar to "I bought a violin, why can't I play beautiful music?"

wild jelly 🪼

@awildjelly

2 years

@yuhsinjc V insightful. Tempted to post this thread in the FIRE subreddit to see the reactions there. Think a lot of that sub is ppl who feel trapped in their jobs and the dream of FIRE is their dramatic escape fantasy

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

We swapped to counting real juggling balls, with a chocolate chip reward if she says the right number; wrong answer means 1 yo brother gets a chip. She got serious. 1 yo now occasionally gathers juggling balls in an attempt to initiate the counting game, hoping to get a chip.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

Think software engineers going into carpentry. People who want to be Renaissance men and explore a little of everything instead of one specialty. People who want to spend time raising their kids. Writing and making music.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@SteveStuWill If you're hunting turkeys or mantis shrimp, you might need a cloak of invisibility.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

I QT'd gobs' thread (instead of the one they are QTing) because I thought the advice was solid. I always found the word "creepy" ill-defined. Here "not creepy" is giving someone easy outs and plausible deniability.

goblin costanza, worm moder

@goblinodds

1 year

how do i avoid being creepy? - try to pay attention to boundary signals; does the person you're talking to look disengaged or like they want to leave? maybe give them some space - dont back people into corners. if they step away *this is not a signal to advance*

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

If I wanted to minimize coercion, I would probably present fewer options. I already let them play with eggs and ingredients (with no expectations) and drive toy cars. But the kids often want to do "real" things, cook real meals with real stove and drive real vehicles.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

In practice, the FI people I've met aren't trying to "not work". They often want to spend more time working on things that pay poorly (relatively).

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

Many of my friends, and now their children, began reading at a young age without explicit instruction. To the extent that I started wondering, would most kids learn to read without being taught?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

I wanted to expand on things people did, after/aside from their main career, that I found interesting:

Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

A common sentiment among FI people is they over-budgeted for FI. They planned as if they would never make a cent again, while in reality they accidentally make money doing random things they like. They wish they pulled the trigger sooner.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@eigenrobot I never liked victim culture, because I thought it did no favors to people who believed in it. However victim culture might largely be a reflection, that we live in a world where we can appeal to a "large, omnipresent state/legal authority".

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@scottsu @paulg What's going on with criminology? It's #2 !

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

11 months

@brianduffytweet @mbateman I've been considering that people live in parallel realities that run like separate veins of ore. I.e. maybe their experience is indeed what they say, filtered through the interactions they choose to have and the places they go. Even if we are neighbors in the same city

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

8 months

@abettertake I hope they're still doing new things they really like doing, and choose to talk about old things because they think it's more relatable.

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@yuhsinjc

2 years

@moseskagan [aristocrats with inherited wealth]". Stole the chair analogy from

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

There's a paradox: when I'm ready to intervene (e.g. "you can keep driving while you stay on the road. If you head towards the river I'm going to take back control") I'm more willing to let the kids try "dangerous" things in the first place.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

If they didn't already have a penchant for working hard, they wouldn't have attained financial independence. Some of them, if they didn't already have a higher paying specialty, would have skipped directly to living the life they wanted to live (even as a starving artist).

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

How I came to use Linux: On my first day at college as a bio major, I bought my first laptop and connected it to the network. It ran Windows and was compromised within minutes. CS majors wiped my machine, installed Linux, and left me with a terminal and the "man" command.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

In the throes of raising 2.4 yo and 10 mo, while being in the first trimester with #3 , it can feel like life is permanently, unrecognizably altered, with no clear end in sight.

🌻bosco🌻

@selentelechia

2 years

@babarganesh @_StevenFan I love seeing older parents getting out and doing stuff makes it easier to adjust to Right Now

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Being deluded about how hard a problem is could work in someone's favor if they are simultaneously massively underestimating how capable they are, such that tricking themselves to embark reveals their capabilities to themselves. This is the plot of many coming-of-age stories.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@eigenrobot Unlike a rocket, you can inspect the intermediate progress while you train and revert back to earlier checkpoints and try something else if things start going off the rails, so failures aren't as spectacular and terminal as "blowing up".

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

People complain that most software interviews for ICs are not representative of what they'll do on the job. I'm not sure it's intentional, but that style of interview will favor CS TAs.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

While 8 min sounds short, 2.5 yo makes it up in volume. She asks for 8+ sessions a day! We implement a "cooldown" between sessions, for the benefit of us parents, using an hourglass; when the hourglass empties out, she can have a new session.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

As a TA, you explain algorithms/data structures many times, to different students, until they demonstrate understanding. You get to see dozens of student implementations for the same problem, some surprisingly beautiful, many buggy in subtle ways. You read a lot of code.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

7 months

In a game of tag, they sometimes tag the baby, who is unable to pursue.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@SirFrancisTowne In a small way I approve of "salami slicing" (mess around and find out). I wouldn't want the kids to blindly follow rules in life, without feeling out reasons and consequences for themselves, and figuring out what they can get away with.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@Rainmaker1973 The cell is more like an intricate mechanical watch than soup.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

1. The kids and adults treasure spending time together. In a world where most kids go to school, these parents signed themselves up for way more time together. Popular culture frames raising kids as a burden, so it's refreshing to be around parents who are really into it.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

In 2016, I run across John McAfee campaigning for presidency in SF. I asked a lady in his party how they met. Iirc "My pimp was hurting me. He jumps out of nowhere and beats the crap out of my pimp, and we've been inseparable ever since."

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Our main involvement is choosing the difficulty. Khan Academy Kids has an algorithm for choosing the next activity, but it frequently suggests things that are too easy or too hard. If the activity is too easy, she gets bored. If the activity is too hard, she brute forces it.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@TylerAlterman And if not little beings, why not intricate floral patterns and geometry?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@AskYatharth I get so annoyed by that sort of thing that I am careful to not inflict it on others. Talking to the baby, instead of saying "I made you eggs because you love eggs!", I say "I made you eggs because you ate a bunch last time. No pressure, if you don't eat it I'll eat it."

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

2. The homeschoolers seem pretty low neuroticism and are relaxing to be around. The kids have free range to run around and stay up after dark.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@EvinBail @clhubes When someone asks me to find/remember something for them and I can't (and subsequently feel bad about it), I think "it's *their* thing and even *they* don't remember!"

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

8 months

@mbateman When my kids want this, I believe they miss one of us specifically and want to feel close. In that case they don't really want a substitute. When this happens to me, e.g. my 1 yo wants Daddy, I sometimes make a show of looking for Daddy with him.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

@simonsarris Context: I'm crawling the replies supporting McMansions and looking up examples of non-McMansions that have those attributes.

pnormal person

@paleonormie

9 months

@BeckyComish @gran1te_mtn @simonsarris @weewoono I’m happy for you but ngl I would choose the attached garage and master suite bathroom

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

10 months

@davidad My favorite notation so far is a "functional mathematical notation" that is close to that used by Spivak in his Calculus on Manifolds. Easy to check if the types and dimensions work out.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@tweetsbenedict @goblinodds High pitched voices: universal mammalian signal of non aggression

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

Good chance she's humoring her parents and giving them the opportunity to show they care about her; of course she knows how to get to work.

Hannah Berrelli

@HannahBerrelli

9 months

There is something seriously wrong with this generation. Infantilised and proud of it.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

3. The unschoolers have an even stronger "the kids are alright" vibe. They seem to think "I live an interesting and meaningful life without imposed structure, why wouldn't my kids be the same."

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

10 months

Similarly, insurance companies resist payment unless you demonstrate ability and financial resources to enforce your rights. Story: We were sitting as the last car in a traffic jam when we were rear-ended by a driver. Our vehicle was declared salvaged (not worth repairing).

Sarah Constantin

@s_r_constantin

10 months

"I will bet you that, in practice, [debt collectors] simply avoid collecting against anyone who demonstrates ability and financial resources to enforce their rights."

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@JamesSurowiecki I listened to the "This Week in Virology" podcast during the pandemic, and iirc one reason people mistakenly thought children were less susceptible was the swab tests worked less well on them. It would often show positive for only ~2 days, and rectal tests worked better.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

Her passion and enthusiasm made an impression on me. It was like the birth of a Bond villain.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

9 months

3 yo coming to me with ice (H2O kind), after I dissuaded her from eating dry ice (CO2): "The smoke in the ice will not come out? It will not burn me?" It's like talking to an Ancient Greek.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

I suspect people have better intuitions for finding startup co-founders than they have for dating+marriage. No one is going on an app to meet random strangers to found a startup with.

Hannah Hoffman Music

@HHMusicOfficial

2 years

Literally BAFFLED as to how people found love before dating sites and social media. Was settling the norm? Or did everyone just happen to be romantically compatible with the person sitting nearest to them in class?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

We made some videos of this for the grandparents, and as I was watching the videos, I felt self-conscious about how many instructions we were issuing. "What would my non-coercive/unschooling parenting friends think?"

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

4. The homeschoolers seem independent-minded. I suppose I should've expected this, considering they're doing something that's not mainstream. The variance on viewpoints is high.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

10 months

@Empty_America Having someone who is frequently in your house doing things is more like adding another member to your household than having a self-loading dishwasher. I wonder how many people want that kind of relationship?

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

@Empty_America Story of Angus Barbieri, a man who fasted for 382 days, going from 456 lb to 180 lb.

The True Story of a Man Who Survived Without Any Food For 382 Days

He'd forgotten what food tastes like.

www.sciencealert.com

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

1 year

What's going on? Maybe, by this frame, being calibrated means I'm automatically ruling out ambitious things and sandbagging at life? Then again I'm confused how someone can succeed at hard things without being intimately in touch with reality.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

7 months

3 yo got a costume for playing doctor that came with a basic but functional stethoscope. She suddenly became acutely aware that there are moving components *inside her body*. "Why does the blood flowing in me not hurt?"

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

10 months

@visakanv I spend a lot of time wondering what makes certain online groups helpful/positive, though I don't have answers. The ratio of people who are doing what they want and enjoying themselves? I come to Twitter to read parent posts.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

There's something good about being able to look at something terrible and say "that's gross, I love it", instead of throwing your hands up in disgust. For things like debugging software, financial systems, machine politics, this attitude may determine if you last long in a field.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@moseskagan This is really what all those "would you rather have $1M or 50% chance of $50M" polls are elucidating. Most people risk less than what something like Kelly criterion would advise; they aren't being irrational, because they need a buffer to maintain their lifestyle.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

As we waited at a high cliff for the wind cycle, I said: "Bill, your form looked *good*." He replied: "I used to hang glide... 18 years ago. Then I became a father. Now my son is grown." He ran, smooth and straight, and launched off the cliff. The wind lifted him into the sky.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@allgarbled If people think this is true, they might keep voting, but change all their votes to socially acceptable answers.

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

@PstafarianPrice I've spoken to Chris Olah at parties (when he was doing 20 under 20) and at work (Google) a few times across many years, and am *shocked* that he is not married with children yet. I think very highly of him. Someone go snap him up quick! This is insane!

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

11 months

@garrytan I was completely scheduled within an inch of my life (6am to 10pm) in middle school (boarding school) in Taiwan. When I moved to the US, my high school let out at 2pm. I loved the free time!

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Joyce

@yuhsinjc

2 years

Each class is a semester. Suppose you teach 2 sessions, run office hours, grade problem sets once a week, grade exams and projects. That's easily 10-15 hours per week.

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