nine inch niles @tresdessert Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

nine inch niles

4 years

Periodic reminder that when you’re feeling down, you can see all the pictures I’ve ever posted of my cat by clicking the handy link in my profile ➡️

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nine inch niles

@tresdessert

4 years

It’s cool how cops are dead bent on proving everybody 100% correct about them

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@tresdessert

3 years

Greek debit card readers scramble the numbers every time for the PIN and it’s fucking killing me after a few beers

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@tresdessert

2 years

We’re rapidly approaching the point where no living dog remembers 9/11

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@tresdessert

2 months

Fuck it let’s rev up inflation and see how much this dipshit will pay for a cookie

Reza Chowdhury

@RezaC1

2 months

@POTUS I just paid $18.75 for a cookie. It was $17.75 last month and $15.75 in late December. Before you became president, it was $3.75.

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@tresdessert

2 years

I saw a coal-powered fucking machine at a museum, imagine trying to get off while this thing is making cute little ‘chuff chuff’ train noises behind you

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@tresdessert

9 years

NILES THIS IS THE WORST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD

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@tresdessert

4 months

“The onIy thing that’s uniquely, unequivocally mine is my name,” wailed Elizabeth 2

Daily Mail Online

@MailOnline

4 months

Insiders reveal how the Queen was so upset by Harry and Meghan's Lilibet decision that she told aides 'the only thing I own is my name. And now they've taken that': The Royal row that troubled Her Majesty in twilight of her reign

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@tresdessert

2 years

lmao

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@tresdessert

3 years

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen lmao

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@tresdessert

3 years

Found an extremely cursed croc golem, wearing crocs

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@tresdessert

4 years

Mother of god

pointy

@chipspopandabar

4 years

@tresdessert sure

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@tresdessert

3 years

Never been so crushed to see a tweet deleted

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@tresdessert

3 years

@kittynouveau Best reply of 2021 so far

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@tresdessert

3 years

Now someone's spray-painted swastikas on Mitch McConnell's house !! This is out of control

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@tresdessert

2 years

Fucking what

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@tresdessert

11 months

Retweet this to scare an American

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@tresdessert

5 years

This knocked me off my chair

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@tresdessert

3 years

@kittynouveau Did you see the reply to her like “did you think they had a merch table at auschwitz” lmao

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@tresdessert

10 months

This is like one of those insane “what you do in this situation” videos lmao

Las Vegas Locally 🌴

@LasVegasLocally

10 months

Good morning

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@tresdessert

15 days

Incredible header image here

Ragnarok Lobster 🐺

@eclecticbrotha

16 days

Stop calling antisemitic mobs "peaceful protesters." We can fucking see them for ourselves.

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@tresdessert

10 months

Another blue check masterpiece

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@tresdessert

7 years

I've created the World's Worst Board Game™. Play now, online or in real life

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@tresdessert

2 years

He’s the one they’ve got looking for the shooter

Mueller, She Wrote

@MuellerSheWrote

2 years

Powerful photo by @briancassella at the @chicagotribune

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@tresdessert

2 years

Obergruppenführer Claus Pine stands trial accused of war crimes, Nuremberg, July 1946

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@tresdessert

10 months

This guy has gotta be an all-timer for ratio of “deeds committed that will echo through eternity” to “being a huge bungling idiot”

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@tresdessert

6 years

after years of study, i've completed my groundbreaking new thesis on political ideology

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@tresdessert

3 years

@11teadubya @jelly_pack Because she’s a cunt

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@tresdessert

3 months

IBM figured this out in the 70s fellas

Ars Technica

@arstechnica

3 months

Air Canada must honor refund policy invented by airline’s chatbot

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@tresdessert

1 year

@vinn_ayy The classic “I’ll catch up with work on the plane” —> “I don’t want to work on the plane” pipeline

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@tresdessert

2 years

The downer is that this was a medical device, used by doctors of the time to administer therapeutic orgasms that would calm down “hysterical” female patients

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@tresdessert

4 years

Hope Hicks Nobel peace prize nomination

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@tresdessert

4 years

Remembering the last time we genuinely had fun on this web site

CNN

@CNN

5 years

A helicopter rescue turned into a terrifying ordeal for a 74-year-old hiker when her basket started spinning wildly as she dangled in the air. The spin was caused by air turbulence; authorities say she suffered "no ill effect"

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@tresdessert

2 years

@mind_probiotic

man of bible

@dril

12 years

Louis? gosh, it's been years. it's me, Neal, from Law School. anyway, i got this big juicy onion here, was thinking me and you could fuck it

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@tresdessert

5 years

Aiiggiehelflgjrjeushbbdbbbb

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@tresdessert

2 years

I assume the big purple cock was not the original

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@tresdessert

5 years

Absolutely screaming at this, my god

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@tresdessert

4 years

Got a ton of CSI equipment out trying to figure out what’s going on underneath the table here

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@tresdessert

1 year

It absolutely rules how much big cats are just … big … cats

Maladroithe

@Maladroithe

1 year

Fat little tabby was ready to SQUARE UP

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@tresdessert

2 years

For those asking, this was at the Sex Machines Museum in Prague. Hedvig was correct

nine inch niles

@tresdessert

2 years

What have you done Hedvig !!

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@tresdessert

1 year

Do you think this is how Rowling decided to place her dumbass wizard schools

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@tresdessert

4 years

Just increbidle..... please share..

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@tresdessert

8 years

That's you in the sandwich b*tch

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@tresdessert

11 months

The replies are full of “yes of course we KNOW what a clothes airer is but here are a bunch of dipshit American exceptionalism reasons why they won’t work for us specifically”

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@tresdessert

2 years

@karengeier @daveweigel It turned out his donated starlink terminals attract missiles

Elon Musk Just Realized Starlink Units in Ukraine Are Airstrike Magnets

After trumpeting the delivery of Starlink satellite internet terminals to Ukraine Saturday, Feb. 26, Elon Musk appeared to have a sudden realization Thursday of the dangers that several electronic...

coffeeordie.com

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@tresdessert

6 years

A lot to unpack here

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@tresdessert

9 months

Trying to promote some replacement theory bullshit with a photo of a Swedish kid who moved to Kenya, was taken in by a local team and remains good friends with them today. Racists are absolutely brain dead

Anti White Watch ☀️

@AntiWhiteWatch1

9 months

Does you child benefit in this future? Honest answer.

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@tresdessert

1 year

Just flip him back over

New York Post

@nypost

1 year

Mitch McConnell hospitalized after fall at DC hotel

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@tresdessert

5 months

@Dedric_Mandel @theshaqshow No one asked you hope this helps

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@tresdessert

2 years

What a legacy

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@tresdessert

2 years

This was my personal fav

nine inch niles

@tresdessert

2 years

My favourite exhibit at the Prague Sex Machines Museum was this marvellous prank camera You’d meticulously line up your friends for a group photo, press the shutter button, and out would pop a crude wooden cock. Presumably they’d only fall for this once

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@tresdessert

6 years

Hell timeline where losing both your legs isn’t sufficient justification for paid time off

Karen C. 🌱⏳🇵🇸 🇷🇺 🇸🇾 🇾🇪🇪🇹🇭🇹☮️

@karenmiami305

6 years

@ninaturner In Miami, the principal of South Dade SHS was hit by a drunk driver while at his kid's ballgame. He lost both his legs. Teachers/staff in the county donated sick days for both him AND his wife, who also works as a teacher. That's what we do. We care for each other & our students

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@tresdessert

2 years

Big “mob boss at a barbershop” energy

PIP@小笠原海洋センター公式

@mt_seaturtle

2 years

今年の夏で2歳になった子ガメの亀みがき🐢 2年も海洋センターで暮らしていると、磨かれるのも慣れているのか貫禄すら感じますね☺️

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@tresdessert

2 years

Imagine reading Watchmen and not grasping that the arrogant billionaire who presumes to know the answers to world’s problems is the bad guy

Elon Musk

@elonmusk

2 years

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@tresdessert

11 months

No way this guy is a marine if he can count to 11

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@tresdessert

3 years

How long do you think the hackers spent deciding between “CANSas City” and “KansASS City”

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@tresdessert

4 years

That Baskin Robbins is clearly open, what's your fucking problem Karen

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@tresdessert

8 years

Milo looks like someone left a member of Good Charlotte out of the freezer for too long

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@tresdessert

4 years

Car 352 in case you wanna, you know, do something about it

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@tresdessert

2 years

Next month it’ll be 19 years since a band inexplicably decided to release a radio-friendly hit called “Let’s Get Retarded”

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@tresdessert

1 year

Still unbelievable to me that this is what Marc Andreessen actually looks like

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@tresdessert

7 days

We’ve done it. We’ve found the best branding in the entire world

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@tresdessert

3 years

You want wifi ? Fuck you

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@tresdessert

3 years

This plastic prison of theirs won’t hold me forever, Charles

Rob

@thegallowboob

3 years

he escaped

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@tresdessert

7 years

Why does Matt Forney always look like a sniper's bullet was passing through his brain as the picture was taken

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@tresdessert

11 months

@kittynouveau I do this like 3 times a week

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@tresdessert

4 months

lol

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@tresdessert

2 years

[august 2022, WHO has just announced the 17th variant of concern, ‘Psi’] HARRIS: there’s no way anyone saw this coming

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@tresdessert

4 years

Tag yourself I'm Frog Apple

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@tresdessert

4 years

“Wahhh you can’t just dismantle a police department” lol tell that to the Gestapo

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@tresdessert

4 years

Found out tonight that my girlfriend has spent years using “balls deep” in the same way as “waist deep” and I can’t even imagine the horrifying misunderstandings this has caused “I’m glad I’m not balls deep in children” was the phrase used this evening

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@tresdessert

2 years

My favourite exhibit at the Prague Sex Machines Museum was this marvellous prank camera You’d meticulously line up your friends for a group photo, press the shutter button, and out would pop a crude wooden cock. Presumably they’d only fall for this once

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@tresdessert

2 years

What a sequence of events. One for the ages

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@tresdessert

7 years

Selfie vs. tagged photo on Facebook

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@tresdessert

11 months

@exavierpope You’re a freak

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@tresdessert

1 year

The Riddler, except all of the questions are deadly earnest + he’s crying

Dr Jordan B Peterson

@jordanbpeterson

1 year

Twitter suit. The tie is composed of micro @elonmusk heads. As it should be.

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@tresdessert

4 years

Let’s face it: police departments in the US are a decentralized parastatal/paramilitary terror group, bound together by a common ideology of protecting white supremacy and capitalist hegemony

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@tresdessert

1 year

@REVMAXXING How much did you pay for your lobotomy

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@tresdessert

10 months

It’s a massive tragedy that John Candy died before he was able to play this guy in a biopic

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@tresdessert

4 years

lol owned you fuckin nerds

Sky News

@SkyNews

4 years

Harry Potter fans were left disappointed as a commuter train passed through the station at the same time as the steam train which served as the Hogwarts Express 🚂🚄 More here:

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@tresdessert

5 years

If you think a wall will deter migrants from attempting the journey, then Europe would like to talk to you about a literal sea hundreds of miles wide

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

5 years

Any deaths of children or others at the Border are strictly the fault of the Democrats and their pathetic immigration policies that allow people to make the long trek thinking they can enter our country illegally. They can’t. If we had a Wall, they wouldn’t even try! The two.....

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@tresdessert

1 year

@punished_cait There was a call of duty game where there are stray dogs and if you shoot one of them then like 100 more show up and bite you to death

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@tresdessert

8 months

How was this over 7 years ago

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11 months

@somewhat_stinky Do you live outdoors

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@tresdessert

8 years

I'm crying . I can't believe how our shallow media-driven culture is judging my beautiful baby

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@tresdessert

1 year

I could easily avoid all Hershey’s brands simply by not being an 8 year old at a movie theater

Joel Berry

@JoelWBerry

1 year

You want to boycott Hershey? Good luck avoiding all their brands.

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@tresdessert

2 years

@BrandyLJensen Winning the lottery and ending up unhappy is all star bag-fumbling

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@tresdessert

10 months

Check the replies for a selection of the absolute worst graphic design of all time

Elon Musk

@elonmusk

10 months

If a good enough X logo is posted tonight, we’ll make go live worldwide tomorrow

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@tresdessert

1 year

It’s cool how these people demand unconditional respect as the god-kings creating this country’s wealth, but as soon as things turn south they bust out the “uwu we’re smol beans just like you, please be kind” routine. Fuck off with this no one cares

Lindsey Michaelides

@lcmichaelides

1 year

Hi, I’m Lindsey. A bit about me: - Ohio mother of 4 - I employ a team of 15 as a start-up founder & CEO of Strongsuit - drive a used Honda Odessey - husband works in manufacturing - The financial future of my company, team and family are at risk w/ the collapse of SVB (1/23)

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@tresdessert

7 years

In the spirit of Christmas I'm going to repost this picture of the time my cat got stuck in the sofa