Sara Pascoe @sarapascoe Twitter profile

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 months

From my fake dad ❤️😭😭😭

Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 months

@sarapascoe ‘Weirdo’ - truly brilliant. Comedians often write thinly disguised drama series with them as the central character, but this is a real novel. Camus would be proud. Feverish and funny. Extraordinary internal monologue. Want to work how you did it and copy it.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

Also I've never been to China which is how I know it's not there.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Book editing is tough today:

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

Hey @VirginActiveUK i tried several times to pause my gym membership when I was six months pregnant in a pandemic! Your staff never replied. What better way to welcome my new baby than to find out you’ve passed my details to a collections agency to get your precious £300?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

FAMILY WHATSAPP GOSSIP, one of my sisters announces she is trying acupuncture to help getting pregnant, other sister replies "gonna need a bigger prick!" Mum immediately follows with "see, comedy isn't hard Sara."

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

This is PERFECT! Being forced to endure unwanted behaviour against your will is the EXACT issue, you’ve nailed this metaphor Piers well done ❤️

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

6 years

ENOUGH! I don't want to hear endless Oscars speeches about #MeToo or #TimesUp , or even #NeverAgain . I want to watch a celebration of great movies & movie stars. My new column:

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Happy Birthday to me. The poor dog is embarrassed.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

When people write to tell me I'm not good at comedy, I reply "Well you're not good at fan mail" then we all laugh &they are proved wrong.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

Accidentally tagged myself on a picture of my ex boyfriends new baby.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

the most relatable thing a politician has ever done:

Diane Abbott MP

@HackneyAbbott

5 years

A photo of me drinking from a can of M&S mojito on the Overground has been circulated. I'm sincerely sorry for drinking on TFL.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

My sister is getting married tmrw, should I start the "oh Jeremy Corbyn" chant during vows or wait for reception?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I don’t reply to people who send me hate mail, I add them to my mailing-list and enjoy their subsequent monthly melt downs. 🦋

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

The best feeling in the world is when you stop to stroke a cat in the street, and the cat starts purring and you think “FINALLY, something I’m good at”

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

I think people tweeting about how their A-levels didn’t define their career are trying to make you feel better, but if you feel disappointed and bereft right now you have every right. It’s not fair. Xx

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

I CAN FINALLY TALK ABOUT MY SITCOM! 🍾

BBC Press Office

@bbcpress

5 years

🆕 @BBCTwo commissions six-part sitcom from @SaraPascoe : #EdTVFest

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

The more I think about these studies that show single women live longer, the more I believe there must be health benefits to not holding farts in.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Interesting fact: PORN is always the driving force in new technology, for instance the abacus was replaced by calculators because you couldn’t write ‘boobies’ on an abacus.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Peter Stringfellow is a great name for a tampon.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

3 years

Beyond excited and very very happy!! 🥳🤠🥳

Sewing Bee

@sewingbee

3 years

We're bursting at the seams with joy that @sarapascoe will be joining Sewing Bee as our new host. Welcome to the family, Sara! #SewingBee

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

Thank you Curtis for my boyfriend’s erection!

Liverpool FC

@LFC

4 years

GOOOAAAALLL! Stunning @curtisjr_10 strike puts us ahead!! Curls the ball into the top corner in brilliant fashion! 🤩 [1-0] #EmiratesFACup

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

My new job!

British Comedy Guide

@BritishComedy

5 years

Sara Pascoe is to front a BBC2 travel series called The Last Woman On Earth. She will investigate the world's most endangered jobs.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

What if I get Stockholm Syndrome for Boris Johnson?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

I’m insanely excited to SHOUT that my sitcom Out of Her Mind is starting on 20th October at TEN PM (because it’s so sexy?!) on @BBCTwo Whoopppeeeeeeeeeeee 🐣

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

3 weeks into lockdown and I’d rather watch my partner on the toilet than playing Fifa.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I have never given up on my dream, which is to birth five sons, who are all sausage dogs.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Update: I’ve been kicked out of the group chat because I “can’t keep a secret”.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

there is a woman in the park skateboarding while eating a whole cucumber and i am in love with her.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

My book is now out of date and I couldn’t be more relieved ❤️

Lucy Wainwright

@Whoozley

6 years

Reading your book @sarapascoe . Thought this bit of timing might please you

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

They say it’s lonely living alone, but everyday I open my eyes to this happy smiling face and know we’re gonna be just fine...

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

My life is exactly what I planned when I was 9 years old: I have a big girls bike, a puppy and am published by @FaberBooks 🍌

Stephen Page

@stephenpub

5 years

A July office table snapshot @FaberBooks

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I want my country back.

Quite Interesting

@qikipedia

6 years

In 18th-century England, ‘delivering a flying pasty’ was wrapping poo in paper and throwing it over a neighbour’s wall.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Shazam, but for what he’s thinking

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

I do miss going to the theatre, but not as much as I miss having a play angrily described to me by someone who hated it.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I could never leave Facebook, it’s how I stay in touch with banner ads of a dress I bought two years ago.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

People going on about how great it is to have 'loved ones' don't know the joy of listening to true crime podcasts 16 hours a day.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

Thank you so much for your support and sharing your own stories. I’m really sorry to all the other people this kind of thing has happened to. Virgin Active have sorted it out and cancelled the debt collectors now which is a relief. Big love xxx

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

@RomeshRanga “Instead of meat and two veg, why not refer to the male genitals as an asparagus and two falafel?”

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

We all need to hear this! ❤️

BBC Woman's Hour

@BBCWomansHour

5 years

🤔 Are you in need of some advice? Well, you're in luck - Edith Eger is a 91 year old Auschwitz survivor who has a thing or two to tell you about living your best life. Here are her 4 top tips 👌 You can watch more videos 👉 #treatyoself 😃

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

GUYS, I am on a train and I can see someone reading my book. Shall I go sit on her lap? Offer to read it aloud for her? What is protocol?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

worst part of being single is when you're about to take off on a plane and you have no one to text "if I die you can't have my money" to.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Does anyone ‘solicit’ dick pics? Is there a Dick Solicitor? Where did he sit the bar exams? Why that particular specialisation?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

I'm @RonJichardson tonight

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

Phones off, no filming.

@LondonTheatre1 🦄

@LondonTheatre1

4 years

What’s something you can say during sex and at the theatre? #theatrefun

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

*Was

Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Peter Stringfellow is a great name for a tampon.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

Look if someone writes an article saying they think an entire gender is bad at something that isn’t a critique, it’s an admission of sexism. It’s not womens job to be outraged by such admissions- this isn’t up for debate. If audiences don’t want women comics why we all so rich?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

It's so crass to retweet compliments so let me just tell you, humbly, that I get absolutely millions.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

3 years

The happy ending of any film should be the main character getting a dog.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

BBC Press Office

@bbcpress

4 years

Casting announced for #OutOfHerMind - a new 6-part comedy written by & starring @sarapascoe for @BBCTwo Sara's joined by cast members @AdrianEdmondson , Juliet Stevenson, @Scroobiuspipyo & more...

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

In poor Tony Furniture’s defence, men have adjusted to expect abundant praise for repeating a woman’s idea.

Pigeon Fancier

@isabelzawtun

4 years

Tony Furniture’s Frankenstein

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

I respect how dogs look haughtily away while their owner picks up their shit like they’re embarrassed to be seen with them.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

I've decided I WILL have children only so they can make me proud by going on Love Island.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

I haven’t been posting my Wordle results because I’ve guessed it correctly on the first go 100% of the time and don’t want you to know I’m magic.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

I like my men like I like my coffee; making me anxious.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

@oneilllo You will hate it at first, but it is a constant dissection of gender roles and heterosexual expectations. It has fakery and intrigue like a political drama. The people are beautiful and simple, like talking sausages, it is completely illuminating and compulsive.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

11 years

Could have had breakfast in bed this morning if I hadn't had all those abortions.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Hot Take: Children pretend they can’t do things in order to enslave adults. I bet they CAN read and drive and stuff.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

This is today! My show is on BBC 2 TONIGHT at 10pm 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

#LadsLadsLads will be on @bbctwo 10pm Easter Monday 🙏🏽🥚❤️ @ The London Palladium

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I’ve invented Lemsip icecream for people with a fever. Is this feverish delirium or a really great idea?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Whoever is designing jeans these days needs support, counselling and medication.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

The below has been much shared but is really worth reading RE: biological sex. Also trans rights and the rights and needs of cis women is not a zero sum game. ❤️

High Seas Science

@RebeccaRHelm

4 years

Friendly neighborhood biologist here. I see a lot of people are talking about biological sexes and gender right now. Lots of folks make biological sex sex seem really simple. Well, since it’s so simple, let’s find the biological roots, shall we? Let’s talk about sex...[a thread]

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Here’s a petition about making people who sell sex safer. It seems contradictory I know, because if sex work is dangerous then surely it should be criminalised, to protect people? But current laws put workers in more danger. There’s a link to read for more information ❤️

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

Hey @thepope I think I found your girlfriend's bracelet?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

If you want to be swept off your feet, what you’re looking for, is a broom.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

Can’t believe Wordle are giving out prizes to the people who’ve done the best so far. Am really chuffed🥳 #MercedesBenz

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I wish the internet was flat so I could fall off instead of going round and around. 🌎

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

What I shout as I enter a room:

Standard Issue

@StandardIssueUK

5 years

@Godsobey @KingsPlace @sarapascoe @clarebalding It's Sara Pascoe.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

I can't decide whether to go to hot yoga or lie down & hope to die where I am.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

We talk a lot about the negative effects of social media but my legs have never been so clean.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

Hello! Aspiring stand-ups I am doing an instagram live at 7pm about getting into comedy and you can ask me questions (and it will be saved on my page after) love you bye xx 🤡🍄

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

Who do you think we should ask to give a lecture???

Dave

@davechannel

4 years

NEWS! @sarapascoe 's #ComediansGivingLectures is coming back to Dave with 2 brand new series coming SOON, prepare for more lectures than your mind could handle.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

This sexy otter has made me feel better about how short my legs are #bodypositive

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

I’ve loved this show ever since watching the very first one & was over the moon to be teamed with my very favourite James Acaster 🥰

The Big Fat Quiz

@BFQuiz

2 years

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Join @jimmycarr and special guests @GuzKhanOfficial , @SarahMillican75 , #JamesAcaster , @sarapascoe , @1Judilove & @wossy on @Channel4 this Boxing Day at 9pm for The #BigFatQuiz of 2021!

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

All six episodes of #outofhermind are up on @BBCiPlayer if you want a rainy night in 🌧❤️🌧

Stylist Magazine

@StylistMagazine

4 years

So @sarapascoe 's #OutOfHerMind is 100% the @BBCiplayer sitcom you should be streaming right now #tv #bbc #sarapascoe

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

@EdGambleComedy sorry Ed i thought it was you

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Vanessa has devised the solution to David Cameron 👇🏼

Vanessa Hammick

@Ammick

5 years

@AnnekaRice @caitlinmoran We should all get to vote referendum on what he does. Every day. For the rest of his life. Every decision. Like Bandersnatch.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Improve your rush-hour commute by standing at the doors and saying ‘hello’ to everyone who gets on! 🚎

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

8 years

If i ever design a perfume it will be called 'Je Regret Everything' and it will smell like Sambuca and Marlboro Menthol.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

@MrNishKumar DID I DO YOUR GIG SO YOU COULD GO CINEMA?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

You can change ‘Happy Christmas’ to ‘Abi Titmuss’ and all the songs still make sense. 🤶🏻

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

It’s true! And get free tickets to be in the audience here: 🌈🌷

British Comedy Guide

@BritishComedy

5 years

Dave has ordered an 8-part @sarapascoe series, Comedians Giving Lectures.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

@piersmorgan You’re not wrong- there’s nothing wrong with wanting some simple pleasure without the politics. But as a powerful man at a time when other powerful men have been proven to have abused their position, you could have a much more insightful and relevant option than “shut up”. X

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

My stand up show LadsLadsLads is being repeated on BBC2 at 11.25 tonight if you’ve never seen it! 🤠

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

4 years

This is such a good idea for people looking for a practical way to support NHS staff 👇🏼❤️

Meals For The NHS

@MealsForTheNHS

4 years

URGENT: NHS workers can’t work if they’re hungry. There are doctors in your local hospital who will be in the middle of their shift tonight and won't have anything to eat. Buy daily meals for @NHSuk staff, direct from local restaurants, at #FeedTheNHS

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

2 years

There I was, 12 weeks pregnant, talking about not wanting kids again 🥴

Dave

@davechannel

2 years

Tonight on #ComediansGivingLectures : @paulsinha , @kiripritchardmc and @TimRenkowcomedy ! Plus magnificent host @sarapascoe , who has a thing or two to say about parenting... tune in tonight at 10pm!

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

I AM DOING THE PR FOR LOVE ISLAND 🌭

Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

@oneilllo You will hate it at first, but it is a constant dissection of gender roles and heterosexual expectations. It has fakery and intrigue like a political drama. The people are beautiful and simple, like talking sausages, it is completely illuminating and compulsive.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

3 years

9pm on @BBCTwo tonight I’m in Finland for Last Woman on Earth where I get employed as an Elf and even better, covered in puppies.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Never really understood what ‘toxic masculinity’ meant until my dog started cocking his leg to poo.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

I really hope that this year, it's Claudia and Tess that are secretly banging.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

IT’S KATHERINE RYAN DAY!!!!🍾👑💪🏼

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

SHOUT OUT to all those who imagine the meal they’re eating listed as post-mortem stomach contents if they die tonight 🕺🏽

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

@ZoeNicoleDuffy Hey get better soon/ I have followed you, so when I am back in Colchester message me and I will sort you free tickets xxx

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Can someone invent contouring that makes you look flat so I can pretend I am a face drawn on a piece of paper?

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

I just unfriended someone on Facebook because of her stomach muscles.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

My short film about love and sex is up if you fancy watching? 💋

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

5 years

Wooohoooo!🍌🍾

Faber Books

@FaberBooks

5 years

We're so happy to see Sex Power Money on the Sunday Times Bestseller List, congratulations @sarapascoe 🎊

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

6 years

Can’t sleep worrying I have small dick energy.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

3 years

Out of Her Mind (the show I made about myself) continues on @BBCTwo at 10PM tonight. It’s the first ever programme to discuss the *important* issue of 🐭🍆.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe

7 years

All these products claiming to be 'ideal gift for mum' don't know her at all. She only likes SlimFast, cats and rewriting the past.

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Sara Pascoe

@sarapascoe