Adrian Edmondson ❎ @AdrianEdmondson Twitter profile

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

6 months

Four weeks to Christmas and you're wondering what to get for the Sad Old Git in your life. Well, look no further! (There are also some Sad Young Gits out there, so fill your fur-trimmed boots)

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

It takes an awful lot of guts to tell someone something like this to their face. You can hear the courage in her voice. But well done you, whoever you are, I think you’re brilliant

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

This obsession with ‘working hard’ and ‘hard working families’ is depressingly Victorian. We live in an age of machines that can do all that stuff for us. People should be having more diverse and more fulfilled lives, not grinding away until they die.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

This Boris bloke applauding his nurses - is he the same one that cheered along with all his chums in the Commons in 2017 when the Conservatives successfully blocked any chance of nurses getting a pay rise?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

It appears you could have held a proper wake with lots of people during lockdown if you’d designated a ‘funeral’ as a ‘leaving do’ (which is sort of technically is?)

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

And also mice? We could train mice to run down into the lungs with a small dustpan and brush? Magnets on a string? Petrol - a small controlled internal fire? These are also interesting to me and should be tested...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

I’ve written Priti Patel’s number out to make it more understandable: 300,000,34,900,74,000

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

1 year

66 today. Officially a pensioner. Have seen no pension money yet. Wondering if Nadhim has ‘carelessly’ transferred it to his own bank account…

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

"It's not your ball, it's everybody's ball."

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

So, I've had the jab: a) No improvement in wifi. b) Bill Gates has not been in touch. c) I have not grown a tail. Very disappointed.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Terry Jones was the only Python who agreed to appear in The Young Ones. It was like affirmation from God himself. This was the man who’d directed what was, and still is, the funniest feature film ever made. We loved him for it, and always will. Sadly, he’s eaten his last mint...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Just trapped myself on a window ledge whilst cleaning the windows. Had to ask passerby to fetch help. Fire Brigade came. Small crowd gathered - thoroughly enjoying themselves. FB very kind and didn’t snigger too much as they rescued me. How’s your Bank Holiday?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

It’s my birthday so you’d all better be ruddy well nice to me!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

9 months

I don’t think enough people have seen this. It’s Kurt Vonnegut talking to his wife about going out to get an envelope (we’re here on earth to fart around):

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

He’s not ‘fighting for his life’ - he’s fighting for pretending to be ‘world king’, for gold wallpaper, and for treehouses in his grace and favour house.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Babs was once in Filthy, Rich & Catflap which was filmed in front of a live audience. There was a tech fault, the lights went off and they couldn’t get them back on. Babs pipes up: “It’s alright my darlings, we’re all stars - we can fucking twinkle”

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

I have booked a window cleaner...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

The weirdest thing about Priti Patel getting the number wrong is that she doesn't stop and correct herself. We all make mistakes, we're all human. But the modern way is simply to deny your mistakes. And it makes you look like an idiot. And inhuman.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 years

Rik didn't text much but we used to send 'anti-birthday' messages along the lines of 'It's your birthday - I hope you die of cancer etc.' Was just checking back through and found his last message to me. He was really bad at technology:

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, now I’m sixty four?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

When we was young the only way to talk down to Robbie was to stand on a rock.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Rees-Mogg’s comments about cancelling paid holidays are making our production of A Christmas Carol at the RSC even more relevant than it already is. Quite staggering.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

I found holding the microphone very tiring in the old days, so I got this other bloke to hold it for me. (Photo: Kevin Cummins)

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Man, orange, mullet, lard, idiot

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 years

Have a very merry Christmas. That's an order!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Just got to find a VHS player…

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Not looking forward to the day Boris says ‘the virus has gone’ because 24hrs later we’ll probably all be dead.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Scanning old photos. Quite like this polaroid. Don't know what it's from.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Today has felt like the worst day so far, but Mrs E just brought me a drink and salted my rim - so I feel a lot better.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

The most joyous one and a half minutes of film I know. They're not even very good at dancing - it just has so much love in it. The genuine laugh on the guitar player's face at the end. Can't think of a modern equivalent. Happy to be proved wrong.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 months

You're gonna need a bigger prime minister.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Last remaining copy of our first poster.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

And lo, it came to pass, that on 22nd Dec on BBC2, television did eat itself.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

There I was, happily minding my own business, wondering which pen to use if the resistance attacked, when a bearded elf appeared at the door...

Mark Hamill

@MarkHamill

5 years

Me reading #TheLastJedi Call Sheet: (thrilled) "ADRIAN EDMONDSON?!!! I wonder if it's the same @AdrianEdmondson that was in The Young Ones & Bottom?" #DUH 🙄 Seriously Hamill, how many Adrian Edmondsons do you think there are in show-biz? #FanBoyMeetsComicGenius 🤣👍

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

I hope that out of respect for her majesty that speed camera I just went past isn’t working.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

When I was 17 I got myself into trouble trying to withdraw more than I had from the bank. I pretended my mum had sent a cheque. They wrote to her. I intercepted the letter and replied ‘for her’. They replied, I replied... Every lie grew another. I ended up looking like this 👇

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Clearing out cupboards and found a show Rik & I wrote in 1989, but never performed. Good last page!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Just watched two hours of Sean Lock clips. Christ he was funny. This is a belter:

Stephanie Hirst

@StephanieHirst

3 years

Truly saddened at the passing of the brilliant Sean Lock. His brilliance will be sorely missed. The amount of times I’ve almost wet myself laughing at him is countless. Sleep well Sean. I genuinely couldn’t stop laughing for days at this.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

The RNLI is a life saving charity. Please don’t try and politicise them. You’d be surprised when you might need them. Would you like their first question to be; ‘Can you tell me your politics?’

RNLI

@RNLI

3 years

We're proud of the lifesaving work our volunteers do in the Channel – we make no apology for it. Those we rescue are vulnerable people in danger & distress. Each of them is someone’s father, mother, son or daughter - every life is precious. This is why we launch:

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

1) I was being held against my will by the woman with the light sabre, 2) I wasn’t drinking champagne (I was on the hand sanitiser which is within the guide lines), and 3) I am a citizen of Hawaii and demand my freedom.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Dear Aldi, is everything in your shop nicked?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Came across this quite by accident this afternoon - astonishing to think it’s been 20 years. Met him once, told him I was a huge fan. Nervously asked if he’d seen any of our stuff - he said he didn’t watch new comedy because he already knew all the jokes.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

A friend has sent me this. It’s brilliant. Would love to credit the artist. Who is it?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Watching ‘Britain’s Got No Political Talent’… gawd’elp us!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Only 11 days left to catch the virus before it’s compulsory NOT to catch it!

Coronavirus: shoppers in England must wear face masks from 24 July

Fines of up to £100 could be handed out for non-compliance under measures to be announced on Tuesday

www.theguardian.com

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

The last time I was a 'lookalike' in @PrivateEyeNews it was George Carey, the Archbishop of Canterbury. I'm sort of impressed by my own range.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

A hose/brush on a long stick??? Where’s the jeopardy? It’s cheating.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Can’t find this ‘Babes on Tractors’ site anywhere.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Throwing my hat in the ring (everyone else is) - I’m standing on a platform of codswallop, feigned caring and free money for everyone (especially me).

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Is it true that the theatres are going to reopen as long as every actor has a 4 year old child with them?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Hello old friend! It’s been... 4 days.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

I think I’ve misunderstood the ‘dick pic’ thing. I’ve been sending pictures of Laurence Fox...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Still, might be better than 1632. 10 people died of 'Cancer and wolf'.... 'Cancer AND wolf'... heck of a way to go. A close second to the single person who died of 'piles'.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Truman Show moment. Just looked up from the kitchen table to the bird feeder outside and a bird was looking directly at me. It seemed caught out and went back to feeding - but in my opinion it was over-acting. Very suspicious.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

He's reached maximum twat.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Still in my pyjamas. Thinking of cracking open a beer. Oh God.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Is it safe to come out yet? Or is everyone still talking about the weird family?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 months

I asked my legal team and they said I didn't say what I said when I said it. In fact I didn't know what I'd done until someone found out, and then I couldn't remember what I hadn't said I hadn't done anyway. Committing a crime isn't a crime!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Am I alone in thinking it’s just not very British? Surely it should be TWO fingers?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

8 years

25 years since Bottom first went out today. @BBC are celebrating this with... Oh no, hang on, they're not.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

7 years

Even now it's still very tempting...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

This seems familiar...

Dave Callan

@davecallantwit

4 years

Well someone had to

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

In an effort to cheer people up: here is John Noakes with his coat hangers, covered in tinsle, hanging off a plank.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

At last Hollywood have picked up the option for the Bottom biopic!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Overlooked for the BAFTAs again, naturally, but can’t believe I’ve been overlooked for a peerage - just how much of a feckless idiot do I have to be???

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Happy birthday to MEE! Happy birthday to MEEE! Happy birthday to MEEEEEE-EEEEEE! Happy Birthday to MEEEE! You’re all LATE and my birthday is completely ruined! SAD.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

No - I’M running for president.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Lovely pic of my grandson sitting on a wall.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Neil Innes - the most-talented-but-least-ambitious man I ever met, a real gent with a beautiful soul. I never had anything but the best of times with him. Gorilla rescued me as a teen and he let me join the band as a middle-aged man. God I loved him. So sad.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

To die at 67. Had he got his pension sorted? That was a waste of time, wasn’t it? We need an expiry date. Not a best before. A date when we know we’ll expire. Then we can organise. And piss it up the wall.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Teenagers on the news complaining about not being able to get to school and take exams. Teenage me would have been happy to blow the place up and never go back.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

I am now a double-jabbed, over-privileged, boomer.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

It has rained all day. All day. Again. This is like living in Bladerunner.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 years

Currently playing Mr May in new dystopian sitcom...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

“What do you think a fucking 5G chip is, fucknuts? You think it floats around in your body going on Instagram and telling the government you went to the store? No one fucking cares where you go, you absolute fucking fuck-barf.” (Please get vaccinated)

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

I shall mostly be being a bit of a bastard from tonight (opening night) until 1st Jan at @TheRSC in 'A Christmas Carol'

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

Only another 12 hours of fatherliness to go, then I can get back to being a cruel, heartless bastard.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Got my rebate! Think I'll go out and celebrate with... half a pint of mild.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

1 year

In real life everyone coughs. In drama no one coughs unless they are about to die a couple of episodes later.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Have decided to fall off the wagon at weekends otherwise I can’t tell the difference between the days.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Why don’t we get the people who built this tomato sorter to sort everything else out?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

If you’ve never found #DerryGirls give it a go, it is absolutely fucking hilarious.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

1 year

And to think I was once on the cover of Smash Hits. Where did it all go wrong?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

I’ve got a woodpecker on me nuts!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Three years ago today (since he died, not the photo, but near enough). He looks so happy. We all looked happier three years ago.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

It’s as if they can’t organise a report on a piss-up in a brewery.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

My favourite new thing is to ‘mute’ rather than ‘block’ the haters - that way they still have to listen to everything I say, but I have no idea what they’re saying in reply!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 years

It's true I have crossed over to the Dark Side, but if your uniform was that tight, you'd be pretty bloody cross too!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

I’ve had a fantastic birthday, thank you very much x

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

7 years

I hope you're all enjoying my scouse accent. Don't know if you can tell but I'm just making it all up as I go. I'm talking absolute bollocks

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

For the record; my brother-in-law was wearing a suit at the table today, so the whole shebang counts as a work meeting.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

I’m afraid I lost my sense of alertness for a moment just then - I hope the virus didn’t spot it.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

40 years ago tonight!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

2 years

There we are, that’s it for another year, you can all stand down. For the record there was no party, and I wasn’t invited, and I wasn’t there anyway.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

6 years

Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me-eee, Happy birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Throwing out old paperwork and came across this from 1983.... Well it all went downhill from there really, didn't it?

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Hello, I’m a TV in a film. As soon as you turn me on I will immediately tell you exactly the news you need to hear and nothing else. No ads. No jingles. No other news. Just what you need and then I practically turn myself off. Like this.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Sometimes wonder if we ought to sue the Taliban for breach of copyright

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

5 years

Hello, I’m an Englishman in an American film. My teeth are wonky, I wear tweed in July, and every day at five o’clock I stop everything for ‘tea hour’. This makes me basically evil/disposable. I will be eaten by a passing dinosaur and everyone will laugh.

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

4 years

Seems like we were ahead of the game with our 'see how much custard you can hold in your underpants competition'...

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Adrian Edmondson ❎

@AdrianEdmondson

3 years

Just watched ‘In Bruges’. Something about the trailer put me off when it came out however many years ago, but it’s brilliant - like ‘Waiting for Godot’, except this time Godot turns up, and he’s got a gun.

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