Nish Kumar @MrNishKumar Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Nish Kumar

4 months

My 2024 tour is onsale. The dates are here. The last time I tweeted these pictures the resolution was so poor you couldn't read anything. Fingers crossed it works this time. Buy tickets here:

56

19

208

Last Seen Profiles

@snovalleysports

@JUST

@sharlmusic

@elizabethabenn1

@jaavii_023

@All_In_Prod_

@Dan_ALQ8

@rslfan4life

@ROOTS_SHIBUYA

@Evangoodwin_03

@jobdick05

@PLLAtlas

@d6her

@XCHA520

@BKwilecki22

@Sana2021dec24Dr

@sapphsire

@Justcrepes

@irna_arabic

@Gu1ll3rmoo

@jcclondonon

@TwilaEReid

@harvuk_

@Usama_Badrik07

@scrotalmass

@SJMHA

@ghostbandg94

@JoeDaBozo

@batmanryu

@Tekkii999

@tinywrenlit

@Wotter16

@CNBS_GAME

@DplusKIAEsports

@ncpublicschools

@WikiStrasbourg

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

If the Prime Minister didn't know a birthday party was violating his own fucking lockdown rules maybe it's not a great idea to have him in charge of a country during a fucking war

2K

18K

110K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

A lot of people are asking me for a comment and here it is:

4K

14K

86K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I guess the question we should probably be asking is "why was there a statue of a slave trader there in the first place"

655

8K

63K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

There's no money for people's energy bills but there's always money for racism

2K

10K

53K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

So the lockdown rules weren’t actually rules. It was a clever test to see if people would break the rules to prove they loved their children. Fair play to the government, that is some Willy Wonka shit.

240

7K

52K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

It would be great if we allocated more money for the NHS in Captain Tom’s memory so that in the future 100 year old aren’t having to fundra-oh they’ve announced another clap fantastic forget what I just said everyone

170

6K

44K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

LOOK HER IN THE EYES AND TELL HER YOU DIDN’T SACK THEY GUY WHO WENT TO BARNARD CASTLE TO TEST HIS EYES

216

6K

37K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

For fuck's sake just end Brexit and get back to dealing with climate change, homelessness, prejudice, economic inequality and which season of Buffy was best.

969

6K

35K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Balancing out the fact that I can't stand Javid or Sunak with the fact that I love to see a rich white man brought down by asians

5K

2K

35K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

If you're saying the statues should remain in place to help educate, at school I managed to learn long division without there being a fucking statue of it in the middle of a city

399

4K

34K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

The only crime Dominic Cummings has committed is the crime of doing a crime. And if that’s a crime then lock me up.

152

4K

34K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

Guys I’m starting to think it wasn’t about sovereignty

371

6K

32K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

I’m sorry but it is genuinely funny that Boris Johnson‘s response to everything is “the media has spent too much time reporting on my various crimes”.

251

4K

32K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I just want to check the facts here. It was a leaders debate. Your leader was invited. Instead he sent someone who isn’t the leader and his dad. It was a debate during the election period about the most serious issue facing us & he didn’t bother to turn up. How are my facts?

James Cleverly🇬🇧

@JamesCleverly

4 years

@bendepear @realDonaldTrump @BorisJohnson I just want to check the facts here. We sent someone to represent the @Conservatives but you allowed the other party leaders to veto their inclusion in the debate? During the regulated General Election period?

4K

192

528

489

8K

31K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

For no particular reason I’ve been googling GB News and it turns out they are owned by a company called All Perspectives. It’s a limited company so its full name is All Perspectives Limited. Anyway, I’ve laughed so much I’ve given myself a headache.

205

3K

31K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Famously, Christmas is a time to not offer vulnerable people refuge.

Natalie Elphicke MP

@NatalieElphicke

2 years

This Christmas reinforces to me how vital it is that we bring the treacherous small boats crossings to an end once and for all.

0

44

165

336

3K

29K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

100% agree. But neither is "piccaninnies”, "watermelon smiles", or saying Muslim women "go around looking like letter boxes". Sort your shit out.

Sajid Javid

@sajidjavid

3 years

“Paki” is not banter. Heads should roll at Yorkshire CCC. If @ECB_cricket doesn’t take action it’s not fit for purpose.

996

989

5K

166

4K

29K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

So glad that Farage can continue his protest against the EU by continuing to take a salary from the EU.

381

5K

28K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Can’t wait to get drunk with my friends and then also have a thorough and far reaching public enquiry into the government's handling of the pandemic.

186

3K

28K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I understand I’m trending because someone threw bread at me. Anyway please donate to @chooselove & vote out the bread throwers on December 12th.

995

3K

27K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I can only assume the people saying “Trump could never win in the UK” don’t know who the Prime Minister of the UK is. And man, when they find out, they are gonna be livid.

164

3K

27K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

7 months

Someone tell the cunt who's been in charge for the last 13 years

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

7 months

"It's time for a change, and we are it" PM Rishi Sunak finishes his speech by promising to "give the country what it so sorely needs… so that we can build a brighter future for everyone" Follow live

2K

119

696

104

2K

27K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

we've all had arguments with our parents, but we don't normally try to have them retrospectively deported

The Independent

@Independent

4 years

Home Secretary Priti Patel admits own parents may not have been allowed into UK under her new immigration laws

588

2K

4K

203

4K

26K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I'm sorry I was under the impression that you were the people who employed Nigel Farage but I guess I'm mistaken

LBC

@LBC

4 years

1K

99

458

211

4K

25K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

is dominic cummings bame

LBC

@LBC

4 years

As stricter lockdown rules are announced for parts of northern England, Conservative MP Craig Whittaker told LBC: "It is the BAME communities that are not taking this seriously enough." @ianpaynesport | @CWhittaker_MP

3K

1K

2K

442

3K

24K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

You know if at any point this week you’ve found yourself asking “was that really racist?” or “why was she walking home alone?”, you could just try shutting the fuck up.

244

3K

23K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

By the way, this is a photo of me reacting to the Prime Minister’s father saying women who wear burqas shouldn’t be fighter pilots. Thank you 2019.

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Good morning

175

723

11K

345

3K

23K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Someone’s going to have to explain to her what a cheque is

199

982

23K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

An absolute fountain of hot piss

PoliticsJOE

@PoliticsJOE_UK

2 years

"Downstream your movies." "Tennis pitches." Digital, culture, media, and sport secretary Nadines Dorries proves she has no idea about digital, culture, media, or sport

5K

6K

29K

1K

2K

23K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Imagine thinking antifa is worse than fa

237

3K

22K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Please stop voting for racists

154

3K

22K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

A wealthy man, who became the most powerful person in the country by winning the votes of 140,000 people, will ask a woman in a gold hat to shut down parliament in yet another normal day in British democracy.

288

5K

22K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

1 year

Workers are striking because they can't afford to pay their heating bills. You'll remember heating bills from when you claimed public money to pay them for your horses stables.

Nadhim Zahawi

@nadhimzahawi

1 year

Keir Starmer either cannot or will not stand up to his union mates causing strike chaos across the country. It’s Labour’s nightmare before Christmas delivered with their pal Mick “Grinch” Lynch.

14K

298

2K

222

3K

22K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

January 2020: this will be a great year for Britain October 2020: a footballer has had to set up a network of restaurants to feed poor children because the government decided against giving them food.

100

4K

21K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Every interview with Javid or Sunak should open with this question: "if you've just realised Boris Johnson is unfit to be Prime Minister, clearly you're either a cunt, a moron or both. Which is it?"

264

3K

21K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Instead of tweeting "my A-Levels were shit & I'm still a millionaire" how about you appreciate your experience is of no relevance to a group of people graduating into a global pandemic & a government who decided to have the papers marked down by HAL from 2001 & shut the fuck up.

247

3K

21K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Oh so now the Met is worried about being prejudiced

189

2K

21K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

In the UK it’s starting to feel like America has reneged on our suicide pact the second after we downed our kool-aid.

132

3K

20K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

Jo Brand is great and Nigel Farage is a sack of shit

413

2K

19K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Someone from @BBCFrontRow just contacted me about doing an interview about the “politics of comedians doing corporates” because of what happened last night. Just to be clear, it was an unpaid charity. I had bread thrown at me doing an unpaid charity gig. What a life.

1K

19K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

We’re back baby

Dave

@davechannel

3 years

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨

439

942

9K

659

1K

19K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

For Halloween I dressed up as Jason Mantzoukas and he dressed up as me.

298

1K

19K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

The only explanation for the quality and speed of this is Munya leaked the photos

Munya Chawawa

@munyachawawa

3 years

Matt Hancock - It Was Me (Shaggy Parody). Written / Performed by myself. Edits by @CarlossRicoo . #healthsecretary #matthancock #boris

2K

28K

101K

63

2K

19K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

When most of us heard @MarcusRashford was doing even more to help feed disadvantaged kids we thought “what a nice man”. Apparently when other people heard it they thought “I should contact him to tell him some kids don’t deserve to eat or I should be racist or both”.

97

2K

19K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

What a country

417

3K

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

This whole thing is just leading up to the inevitable: Priti Patel becoming Prime Minister and attempting to deport the coronavirus.

266

2K

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I’m sorry if you feel that’s an apology but it absolutely fucking isn’t

The Independent

@Independent

4 years

Priti Patel ‘sorry’ if people feel government has failed on coronavirus protection

164

88

203

201

3K

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Anyway he's total cunt and I hope he's having a terrible evening

249

971

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

It’s easier for a white guy to get a gun into the US Capitol than it is for me to get a can of coke onto a plane

79

2K

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

What rock you gonna crawl back under big man

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

3 years

“Shame on you and I hope you’ll crawl back under the rock from which you emerged" UK PM Boris Johnson condemns racism directed at some England players after team lost Euro 2020 final to Italy and says the Three Lions played like “heroes”

819

567

4K

227

2K

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Wonder what’s on page 19

526

690

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

"I'm furious that this thing we voted for is now happening" may as well be the motto of the Tory Party at this point

228

3K

18K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Call me a square but I think it is “not good” when police beat the shit out of people.

Matthew Dresch

@MatthewDresch

3 years

Police assaulted me at the Bristol protest even though I told them I was from the press. I was respectfully observing what was happening and posed no threat to any of the officers. I have muted the latter part of the video to spare you all the pain of hearing my shrill voice.

2K

12K

29K

215

2K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

2016: BREXIT IS NOT RACIST 2019: BREXIT WILL BE RESOLVED BY A GROUP OF WHITE MEN THAT NAMED THEMSELVES AFTER THE KKK

135

4K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

He's such a cunt

352

1K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 months

if i was an unelected Prime Minister I probably wouldn't be going on too much about the will of the people

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

4 months

"It's now time for the Lords to pass this [Rwanda] bill too" PM Rishi Sunak asks "will the opposition in the appointed House of Lords try and frustrate the will of the people... or will they get on board and do the right thing?" Follow live

904

75

224

362

2K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

“Should we increase funding for mental health services?” “Nah just pop some green shit up and crack on”

Theresa May

@theresa_may

5 years

Last night we lit Downing Street in green to mark the start of #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek . We must all work together to make sure that looking after our mental health is as natural and positive as looking after our physical health.

2K

336

2K

107

4K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I have a quick question: are you fucking shitting me with this fucking shit

Sam Coates Sky

@SamCoatesSky

4 years

Exc BAME report delayed amid fears its contents could stoke racial tensions By ⁦ @inzyrashid ⁩

836

6K

9K

181

3K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

No situation has even been improved by a contribution from Liz Truss

783

1K

17K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Suella really put the "tofu" into the phrase "that's how to fuck everything up"

126

1K

16K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

In my defence, it was only one bread roll and it missed me

1K

751

16K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

I'm starting to think that it didn't help out

102

1K

16K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

If farage lost ten grand as well i will pound one out immediately

165

677

16K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Fucking hell even I laughed at this headline. What a world.

The Independent

@Independent

4 years

Comedian Nish Kumar 'pelted with bread' after making Brexit jokes at charity cricket lunch

118

47

332

623

683

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

"I am proud of our achievements, from the active promotion of sex pests, to getting absolutely shitfaced while some old people coughed themselves to death alone"

154

2K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

6 years

THREAD: I saw something yesterday that if I read on this website I would assume was a lie made up by an absolute tool. Watched the England game and then hopped on a train home. A bunch of England fans got on and were singing loudly. Already on the train were a Muslim family.

164

4K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

As they refuse to accept blame for fucking up an excel spreadsheet, the British government has become me at my temp job in 2011.

105

1K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Say what you will about him, but the guy is a total cunt

261

1K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

189

1K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Please put down the bread roll

201

486

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

What an absolute twat

Jacob Rees-Mogg suggests victims who died in Grenfell lacked 'common sense'

The Tory MP told LBC host Nick Ferrari: 'If either of us were in a fire, whatever the fire brigade said, we would leave the burning building. It just seems the common sense thing to do.'

metro.co.uk

495

2K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Looks like Myspace Tom just got his first friend in a decade

127

1K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

He did it. Rashford is a goddam hero.

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

4 years

Boris Johnson relents over Marcus Rashford's campaign with £396m food package

810

4K

20K

84

1K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Let’s be honest here, not accepting Afghan refugees is absolutely “who were are” and who we have been for some time. Some people really went full Memento memory disease on the Windrush scandal.

101

2K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

It’s absurd to call me a Champagne socialist because one can only be champagne socialist is one is from the champagne region of France. A more accurate term would should be an “English Sparkling Wine” socialist.

1K

741

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

6 years

U shouldn't have eaten his ass bro

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

6 years

The BBC thinks this is OK to broadcast. But if it depicted high profile women, there would be outrage. Why the double standard?

11K

7K

25K

110

3K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

This is absolutely what it looks like when you're too rich for money

Lucy

@LMAsaysno

2 years

chancellor of the exchequer doesn’t know how to use contactless my head’s gone

634

6K

38K

144

2K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

7 months

what the fuck have I just watched

Saul Staniforth

@SaulStaniforth

7 months

Richard Madeley asks British Palestinian MP Layla Moran if she or her family knew about Hamas's attack before it happened #GMB

3K

9K

599

1K

15K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Extremely right wing politician appoints extremely right wing cabinet

2K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

The ending of isolation for people with a positive test just Johnson trying to save his skin. He's about a week away from legalising murder "but only on a tuesday" to distract from the inevitable photo of him, sack deep in a Colin the Caterpillar.

216

2K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

That pilot got turned down so quickly I must have been hosting it.

73

624

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I hope this gets the same level of blanket coverage and media conversation as me having one roll thrown at me.

Joe Pike

@joepike

4 years

Tried to show @BorisJohnson the picture of Jack Williment-Barr. The 4-year-old with suspected pneumonia forced to lie on a pile of coats on the floor of a Leeds hospital. The PM grabbed my phone and put it in his pocket: @itvcalendar | #GE19

9K

45K

69K

256

3K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

I’m a hot piece of ass

362

300

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

8 months

Because the BBC cancelled the Mash Report I am sorry to say that I have now joined the KKK

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

8 months

"Money drives this sort of extremism" "If Laurence Fox were appearing in Macbeth in the National Theatre, he wouldn't be on GB News... he's doing it because he's been driven out of the mainstream," The Daily Telegraph's Tim Stanley tells #PoliticsLive

994

141

1K

142

845

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Got a banging hangover from last night's work meeting

91

611

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Boris Johnson is giving his lecture on “a father’s instinct” as part of the same series as I am giving a lecture on “being white”.

125

1K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

Let’s all just calm down. Brendon O’Neill just went on tv and said people should riot. It’s not like he said anything awful like “racism is bad”.

101

3K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

I see we’ve reached the point where people statt replying to this to tell me to “stop banging on about race”. I swear to God I will change my name to Racey McRaceface if it upsets those twats.

BBC Newsnight

@BBCNewsnight

5 years

"Racism to me is like gravity. You know, there is a position that is correct and there is a position that is incorrect" Comedian Nish Kumar on the BBC's decision to partly uphold a complaint against Breakfast presenter Naga Munchetty @MrNishKumar | #Newsnight

154

2K

7K

319

2K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

3 years

Boris Johnson: What is the PM's relationship with the truth?

2K

267

794

54

2K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

I don't understand why protests can't be less disruptive, affect nothing and not be noticed. That would really get the message across.

169

2K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

2 years

Stop putting comedians on politics shows and leave it to serious people like Liz Truss whose plan for resolving the energy crisis is advise households to generate heat by huddling together and jacking it to pictures of Thatcher.

382

1K

14K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

I see people are debating if abortion should be legal. Good to know I fell asleep and woke up in 1950. Can’t wait to see Elvis.

107

2K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

Go vote.

114

3K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

Shut, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck up.

Islander

@PropertySpot

5 years

Cameron claims that "mission-creep" by European courts had "essentially opened freedom of movement to the world" because of "sham marriages".

41

20

38

161

1K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

5 years

“Well he’s never been racist to me” - White proverb

86

2K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

Great now, let’s do the government

90

2K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

6 years

I was on Question Time and Brexit finally broke me.

BBC Question Time

@bbcquestiontime

6 years

"The leaders of Brexit have fled the scene... We are trapped in hell. For the love of god get me out of here now" @MrNishKumar does not believe the Brexit process is going well. #bbcqt

435

4K

11K

321

3K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

3 years

See you on Dave brother

Andrew Neil resigns as lead presenter and chairman of GB News

Ex-BBC host was unhappy with technical mistakes, loss of key staff and the channel’s political direction

www.theguardian.com

227

679

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

by "tone" does he mean skin tone?

Dr Rosena Allin-Khan

@DrRosena

4 years

I will respectfully challenge the Government - I want our country to succeed. However, I will not 'watch my tone' when dozens of NHS and care staff are dying unnecessarily. A clip of my Q to the Health Sec today.

8K

24K

105K

2K

13K

Nish Kumar

@MrNishKumar

4 years

My beloved south asian community, we can either stand in support of the Black Lives Matter movement or we can be the foot soldiers of white supremacy. I know where I stand.

133

1K

13K