Whoever is underrepresented in your life will be overrepresented in your imagination.
Instead of people, you'll see monsters. Instead of possibilities, you'll see disasters.
That's the challenge of a polarized world.
Here are 3 q's you can ask to meet it. 🧵
#reclaimcuriosity
Here are 4 steps to curiosity in 2 minutes:
- Mind the (information) gap
- Trawl for baseline knowledge
- Get comfortable with complexity
- Reject easy answers
Wow. This is way more fun in video than text. 🥳
I hoped Eddie Vedder would say more about the homeless neighbor in Seattle who inspired the
@PearlJam
hit “Even Flow” at tonight’s
#TheHomeShows
. And he did. He was a Vietnam vet. He lived under the viaduct. His name was Eddie. ❤️
I'm friends with more Republicans in 2023 than I was in 2022.
I'm not a fascist.
But I know the real concerns, fears, and frustrations that make people wonder.
And I know we can address them. ❤️
If you are a Republican in 2023, you are a fascist.
If you are married to/in a relationship with a Republican in 2023, you are a fascist.
If you are friends with a Republican in 2023, you are a fascist.
At some point, your actions need to match your memes.
It’s a low bar.
'I Never Thought of It That Way' is in reprint! This time with a quote from
@nytimesbooks
on the cover! 🥳
Thanks,
@BenBellaBooks
for believing in this book, and to everyone who's helped spread the word! 🙏
Big news: I’m launching a new podcast!
It’s called
@ABraverWay
, and it’s about how you (yes, YOU!) can disagree about politics without losing heart. ❤️
Sound on for the trailer… (1/3)
If we talk about crossing divides without crossing divides, what are we really talking about?
Excited (and admittedly still a bit nervous!) to share my illuminating and wonderful conversation with
@glennbeck
Been catching up on the debate around
@JonHaidt
’s new book “The Anxious Generation,” which I’ve been eager to read for months.
And I’m surprised how little of the conversation I’ve seen is coming from parents. Or rather, people speaking from the parent role. Or even, the
I don't know how to sum up that talking WITH people we don't understand instead of ABOUT them is the most important thing we can do for our democracy.
So I did a
@TEDx
talk about it. Got nervous as hell.
And meant every word.
"If you can't get curious across divides in a polarized world, you can't see the world at all."
"You won't know what you're missing."
"But you can find out."
My TEDx talk premieres at 5:05 PT at ! Tune in & share! Eeek!
@TEDxSeattle
#reclaimcuriosity
The most frustrating thing that's happened to me since I joined leadership at
@braverangels
:
I now feel compelled to defend both the political views that are mine AND THE ONES THAT AREN'T. 😅
Beyond excited to announce my brand new gig with the one and only
@BraverAngels
! ❤️
Can't tell y'all how pumped I am to work with this brilliant team of innovators to bridge the political divides that keep us from seeing & understanding one another. *Let's go.*💪 (1/5)
Feeling sad about something I want to share for a sec that's obvious but important.
The Seattle city council primary elex were on 8/1, & I've been checking for new news coverage.
There is so little. So damn little compared to when I first came here in 2007. 🧵
I worry that we're all so conditioned to expect bad faith and manipulation everywhere that we don't celebrate where us imperfect humans are actually *trying.*
Considering the circumstances, you did an important and brave thing not only inviting
@coldxman
to TED but also
Turns out there are a few more things I need to say about the storm that’s blown up over Coleman Hughes’ TED Talk. It would mean a lot if you would read this through to the end! 🙏
The first is how unfair it is that Adam Grant got dragged into this. After Coleman gave his talk
“You can't live off of what I've discovered. You have to discover it!”
One of my favorite moments in my conversation with
@glennbeck
came at the end of this clip, when he reflected on his role as a commentator… and its natural limits for his listeners.
If we want to re-unite America, ‘I Never Thought of It That Way’ author
@moniguzman
tells me we must ask HOW people came to their opinions: "Asking where someone's come from is one of the most powerful ways to understand where they are."
But we have to start with ourselves.
So this pilot sits next to me, we chat, and he asks why I’m going to LA.
I tell him about my book, show him the copy I travel with, and he’s been reading it ever since!
“I love the way you write!” he says.
(His name is Kenneth & he’s totally cool with me sharing this pic) 😎
“We know what happens when the people we love don’t think that we really see them; they go find someone who will. Someone who might exploit that basic need we all have to belong, to matter.”
@moniguzman
I dig reading old public-domain books from the 19th/18th centuries.
So I made a little search tool *specifically* for that
You type a query, it finds you one book that matches it -- and presents it for instant reading
Behold the "Weird Old Book Finder":
Wow. I was a sociologist before I was a journalist, and this wonderfully curious article by Columbia prof
@Musa_alGharbi
is reminding me why.
Understanding each other *has to come* before judging each other.
Has to!
Otherwise 😫 we're judging *blind.*
We interrupt your feed with a major proud mom moment. My son is at his first speed cubing competition
@theWCAofficial
. His all time record is 32 seconds. He just got 35 seconds in his first competitive solve.
I love this kid so much WTF. 🥹
“Do you know what you’re looking at? That is a list of the passengers on the Mayflower.”
Our researchers discovered
#AngelaDavis
’s ancestors traveled to the US on the Mayflower and here is her reaction.
#FindingYourRoots
Can we engage *bad* ideas and still consider ourselves *good* people?
Thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with author and social psychologist
@JonHaidt
on the
@braverangels
podcast. Check it out!
Today, I Never Thought of It That Way turns 1! 💛
I've made the greatest memories in the past 12 months, and the most incredible part has been meeting and learning from people all over the country who have different beliefs and different concerns, but share the same craving to
'There's a lot of money to be made in polarizing people.'
Just heard this from a colleague. True and discouraging enough, at least to me.
So here's a philosophical question:
How could the market support DEtoxifying DEpolarization?
Need an end of day pick-me-up?
My daughter and I just made 100 mini chocolate chip cookies for her 100th day of kindergarten on Thursday and THEY ARE CUTE. 🍪
You know what would be amazing?
If we could track how good people are at sparking understanding among people who are nothing like them.
I’d want to give *those folks* the mic way more often.
I can't believe that
@KCLS
named "I Never Thought of It That Way" a Best
#Nonfiction
Book out of ALL the new books out there! 📚 I'm honored.
If you want to read my book,
@LibbyApp
is a fantastic app to borrow digital library books for free. And the audiobook is on there, too!
I went to the gym, I came back, I got a package, I opened it up… and it was this beautiful art sent as a thank you by a book club in Mount Gretna, Pennsylvania after I Zoomed into their meeting earlier this summer. 🙏🏼
Want to book me for a brief book club chat? Reach out at
One of my all-time favorite questions to dig one level deeper in a conversation:
"What’s your most generous interpretation of why they (whoever you disagree with) believe that?”
Thrilled to have spoken at the opening session of
@aspenideas
today. And I almost didn't make it! Flight got diverted to Grand Junction, and the taxi pulled in in the nick of time.
I did NOT plan to wear sneakers and this t-shirt on stage. But it worked out :)
#StayCurious
!
I just got off the phone with two people who are red/blue political opposites, and are married, and are committing themselves to fighting for depolarization against ALL the odds, and am overwhelmed, once again, with the caliber of the people I'm meeting through
@braverangels
❤️
Can't believe it's been a whole year since my chat with
@glennbeck
.
This was such an interesting moment for me -- moving into how rarely we get confronted with *our own opinions* and how tough it is to really own them when we don't...
If we want to better understand people's perspectives, we have to get curious about the path that led them there.
To start, ask yourself about your own journey to your opinions... The answer may (or may not!) surprise you.
@moniguzman
"The people calling for gun control today wouldn’t shed a tear if every child on earth was shot. Just remember that. They want to to hurt you."
An absurd exaggeration like this (direct quote from a real tweet) is the ticket to viral spread.
But only because people want to
Also fun: Meeting this guy - Eric - bartender just across from security at the Grand Rapids, MI airport. He’s been meeting a cross-section of traveling humans every day for 20 years and loves it. ❤️
So, um, anyone know a great podcast editor and/or studio in Seattle?
Ideally someone who'd be jazzed to empower listeners to brave the political divide?
Asking for a friend. 😉
1. Ask *how* not *why.* "How did you come to believe what you believe?"
They walk the path they took to their views and you walk right alongside them.
It's a tour, not a trial.
I read this today over a quiet lunch and loved it. Thank you,
@TianaClarkPoet
@poetrymagazine
. I want more poems that capture what our phone and scroll and tap lives are really like.
As someone who leans liberal, spent her whole career in mainstream U.S. journalism, & is digging into how the hell we see each other across nasty divides, I'm spending more & more time w/ media from the right.
And the most illuminating, honestly, is
@TheBabylonBee
(THREAD)
"Why not report out hope, the same way we report out dread?"
Hope is NOT naive. It's not avoidant. It's a key part of the solution, as
@amandaripley
writes in this
@washingtonpost
column I hope can have an impact. 💪
Let's elevate this!!!
"We never call our opponents 'haters,' 'bigots,' 'homophobes,' 'transphobes,' or 'fascists'... I don't want to lock them into an identity that may not be true that I won't allow them to evolve out of."
I can't stress enough how critical this decision has
How can activists be part of the solution to improving our politics?
@TroyWilliamsUT
and
@EqualityUtah
have set a great example while achieving what once seemed impossible, advancing LGBTQ rights in a heavily republican state.
I get in an Uber to the airport at 4 am. I assume I’m gonna sleep on the ride.
Instead I have the most wonderful conversation with my driver, Carlos.
So many of these rides just fill me up. People are so wonderful and surprising.
Sometimes it’s just wild to me that we would
2. Ask them to share their concerns. And before you jump in with yours (!), ask if they have any others.
Our concerns reveal our values. And conversations about values, if they are honest and curious, will almost certainly find common ground.
Beyond honored that colleges and profs are assigning "I Never Thought of it That Way" to incoming students — and thrilled to be featured in this top books roundup from
@usnews
!
10 Books to Read Before College
Here's 3 quick tips for un-sucky conversations with people who disagree with you, in 2 minutes:
🤔 Acknowledge good points
👟 Tell 'em where there's traction
🛡 DON'T go in shields up!
Thanks, mom, for the inspiration.
We're just getting warmed up. 💪
"OK, now where are our blind spots?"
Would love love LOVE to see more groups ask this question — political and otherwise. If they deserve success, they're more likely to find it.
Humble curiosity isn't just a virtue. It's a strategy.
"Arguments drained of affection can destroy the relationships that mean the most."
Wow. Thank you,
@DavidAFrench
.
Something to carry with us into holiday conversations this year. ❤️
Save debates for days when turkey isn’t on the table. But when disagreement comes, understand that we speak to the heart, not the head, that our own hearts need work, and that arguments drained of affection can destroy the relationships that mean the most.
I spent Election Day with my parents, who voted for Trump.
Last night I told 900 people at a
@braverangels
event why, what we talked about, and the promise I made to my dad about his grandkids.
Here's the clip, which starts at 42:46:
Overwhelmed by the news? Do you read a *lot* of it? Here's a tip this ad didn't share, but I've found life changing.
Read less news.
It doesn't mean you don't care about the world. It means you want to show up strong to it.
Take it from a journalist. It's OK. Really. ❤️
Inspect the other side's case generously and curiously. *Especially* if you are dead set against it.
More of this, please. From ALL sides of ALL political arguments.
Via Bret Stephens in his latest
@nytopinion
column.
When I was 7 I was playing at Chuck E. Cheese when I saw my mom crying. I asked her what was wrong.
“A war started today,” she said. “A lot of people are going to die.”
I remember hugging her. I remember thinking of them.
It was The Gulf War. It was any war. It was this war.
Got my first vaccine dooooooooose!
Thank you Brock, thank you Sundome, thank you scientists and doctors and essential workers and everyone who’s helping us crush COVID-19 once and for all!
3. Ask what they care about that you're not seeing, that you might be missing.
Why? Because we *do* share our values. We just stack them in a different order for different issues.
Instead of: "Why don't you care about X?" Get curious and ask: "What do you care about more?"
Fascinating project launching at
@seattletimes
today, beginning with a reckoning around the 80th anniversary of the beginning of Japanese internment.
They say journalism is the 1st draft of history.
Can it also be its perpetual editor?
Whoa. 🤯
“If the rest of the United States had kept pace with Seattle, the nation could have avoided more than 300,000 coronavirus deaths.”
From
@ByMikeBaker
Instead of responding to anger with anger across disagreement, try asking yourself, "What are they trying to protect?"
This absolutely GORGEOUS illustration is by María Mendoza (thank you!) and ran with this interview by
@jessnordell
, author of The End
I unboxed my book today! Held it in my hands! Proved its existence!
It's real, people! IT'S REEEEAL! 😆😆😆
And I got to share the moment with the person in my life who's been the proudest.
Love you, kiddo. ❤️
Want better, braver politics? Share the heck out of this video. Then ask *your* elected officials what *they're* doing to save our family dinners... & the whole American experiment.
Thanks
@GovCox
&
@GovofCO
for stepping the f UP! 🇺🇸
At the airport for the first time in 16 months, I see a dad in front of me on the down escalator hug his son and smile big with his eyes.
I teared up. I missed seeing loads of strangers being human so much.
Fact checking has been so well intentioned and so well resourced the last few years.
But I’m concerned it skips right over the giant gap in trust too often. As if persuasion, and our collective search for truth, is possible without building trust across difference. It isn’t!
The number of voices is down. The overall depth and quality of coverage is down.
And this is Seattle! Imagine what new news deserts are drying up common understanding of local life all over the country!
No one's writing about how no one's writing about things. 💔
Isn’t being curious about the other side a betrayal of yourself & your values?
Isn’t it unrealistic? And naive?
I get asked this question *a lot.*
Here, in 2.5 minutes, is one of my more passionately felt answers. 💪
YES.
This movement is young and old and Red and Blue and native born and immigrant and urban and rural and middle class and working class and all the colors and all the persuasions and we are done with the toxicity so get ready. 🚀
@ManuMeel_
@braverangels
@BridgeUSA_
1. Someone says something political over the holidays you really don’t like.
2. You tense up. Your pulse quickens. More physically than mentally, you REACT.
3. Now you want to fight, flee, freeze, or worse — all before you can really THINK.
Want to break free of this
He was flying out and I was flying in, but with a little time left to boarding, there was no way I’d miss catching up with my
@braverangels
partner in crime. 😊
Safe travels,
@JohnRWoodJr
!
And see you tomorrow,
@BridgeUSA_
!
Oh HELL yes! "I Never Thought of It That Way" is a number
#1
new release! 😆
A couple folks sent me this screenshot earlier and I missed it WTF!
I'm with it now, folks. All is well. 😎
You never have to agree, but you can always understand. And that illuminates everything. 💡
Thank you to
@UALR
and for inviting me to campus, and to Dr. Melvin Beavers and the wonderful Christine Jones for the welcome and conversation!
#Empathy
#Kindness
How many studies do we need before we're *done with this madness*?
"The research found that both major parties believe in the democratic process and values. But dysfunction arises when voters on one side believe their opponents are hostile to those values."
"People most willing