Mike @mikenotgay Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Mike

@mikenotgay

4 months

Jokes To Offend Men

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Last Seen Profiles

@AIyaba77311

@KasihLudah

@AIyaba77311

@CloseupPH

@_jinyoung911118

@gfx_ellie1

@christyHilbun

@AIyaba77311

@ZenZeroTTV

@oranmikel

@stw_pdg

@ObiMalambo

@chsoojnls

@TajuaBrookin

@topazangae

@AngeMariaSolis

@OKemerink

@lart_art1

@DTennyson78730

@michelle_esi

@Sostate12346

@ChantersNod

@cshfiles

@lilspiritella

@terr_yeat

@Iris_Camryn432

@scksgrypr

@DaisyFox94706

@clarejdaly

@Hindware_India

@effedhearts

@bailliescheetz

@lsminhphuong

@ExtremeEliteBB

@FEBRABAN

@IMnosaintNICK

Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

Real question why does 5’11” always make the cutoff in these memes? Makes you think about who’s REALLY behind them….

RPG Enjoyer 🐉

@BasedRPG

5 months

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@lydiaatar Gonna do this book at an open mic

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@ThatsMelvin 🧑🏻‍🦽☕️🧑🏻‍🦽👵🏽😡👊👊🧑🏻‍🦽👁️👁️🫵😤🥊🗿👊🗿👊🗿👀👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾🇲🇽😳🏃🏽‍♂️💨 🪣🫥🤔🤨🏃🏽‍♂️💨🙇‍♂️👁️👁️🫵⚠️👊🗿👊👊🗿🥊🗿👀‼️👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾🏃🏽‍♂️💨😳🏃🏽‍♂️💨 🤨🤔🌳🫥👨🏽‍✈️❓👁️👁️🫵🚨👊🗿👊🗿👊🗿🥊🥊🗿👀👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾🏃🏽‍♂️💨😳🏃🏽‍♂️💨🏠👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾👨🏽‍🌾🏃🏽‍♂️💨👀🤨🤔👨🏽‍✈️👵🏽👀👨🏽‍✈️❓👵🏽 👁️👁️📸🫵🤬👊👊👊🗿👊🗿👊👊🗿🗿🗿

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

Resentful little 5’11” dude at his computer making propaganda

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@ShitpostGate

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@okimstillhungry Who buys packs of Gatorade stop being spiritually poor and drink water

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@lydiaatar See you guys soon.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@CheezNG Me. I’m stopping them. 👁️👁️

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@lemons0803 Your shoes, sir.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

3 months

@henrycow420

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@CHAOSTAKEUS No.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@Sir_Squiggleton @cloudeeuhh Holy based

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@thomas_violence @3five9 I really hope cubicle is British for “stall”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@LandsharkRides Landshark: “My good fellow! Feel free to take the reins and prepare this steak as you wish! I give you creative freedom!” The Mexican line cook making $7:

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@JoeDMaistre Fake filler word to describe fake filler people :-(

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@Sir_Squiggleton @cloudeeuhh *gives her handjob [lovingly]*

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@CountDankulaTV Boyo ye better off jus takin this L, I've arlready cum foive times tuhday. Alsuh, yer peepul avn't been conkururs since the Amurikans came in an saaved ya in that world war ye were so terribly strugglin' in. 🇨🇮🇨🇮🇨🇮🇮🇳

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@InsaneRealitys Not saying they had it coming…but I am saying that incubus was playing over their stereo

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@jetneptune_ Praying on this dudes downfall specifically.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@thornebone “aaaaaaagghh my tummy hurtssssss too many juice plus veggie chewies”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@bigcontentguy “As well” ok mark twain

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@Leftwatch2 Sneako 💯

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

@GathererSkull

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@Aristos_Revenge Similarly, knew a kid growing up who was kind of a dirtbag teenager. Got into trouble all the time. Now is tippy-top navy seal. These people aren’t allowed anymore. Whose idea was it to HR nanny world the military??

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

@mask_bastard White baby mouse with black spot on forehead

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@SkinnyTuna Political horseshoe theory is real because evangelical churches and gay theater productions play the same music

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@chic_baby99 @lydiaatar ;)

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@theneedledrop “Hey CHUD, listen here! 👿 Yeah you 🫵 the CHRISTIAN! 📸 Guess what?? 🙊 I saw 👀 your latest music video 🤭 Erm… 🤔 your heckin religerino SUCKS?? 🤮🤮🤢”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@y3kfed @ThatsMelvin 🫵😎👍

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

Bro I’m talking about taking a shit the CIA has no chill

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@Ctc_unofficial

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Mike

@mikenotgay

10 months

@0x49fa98 Real programmers are Belarusians in an empty concrete room with a 4” piece of open cell foam mattress, a single lamp, and a thinkpad T460 that needs to stay plugged in at all times because the electrical grid’s instability fried the battery almost immediately.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@DiabolicalSpuds 100% got clapped by this dude

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

Crazy how the whole telling lies for no reason scene has evolved.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@rainylandscapes The way people say egregious instead of really fucking annoying is definitely not aesthetic

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Mike

@mikenotgay

3 months

@stickydacat Brother got deuteranopia :(((

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@PissDaily God works in mysterious ways

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@jetneptune_ The camp: The park ranger:

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@19111941NOM214 That’s even worse. Another 5’11” L :((

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

One summer day I was off-roading in the Jersey pine barrens with my dad. I heard a distinct “HELP! HELP ME!” and darted my head to look over at my dad. He did the same and we exchanged a brief glance. We sat in silence, driving away. Haven’t spoken of it since. @LandsharkRides

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@OneyNG No way

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@persecutedsgin

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@0xAlaric Brotherly love. Civil war generals shaking hands over the hedges type shit. Hugging my bro after boxing type shit. The boys need this kind of bonding. World too brutal. Only the boys could understand that “ah shit nobody else is gonna save me” feeling.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

@EverythingOOC Director’s cut

Youtube poop-haunted house of weegee!

YouTube Poop- The Sky Had A Weegee!

www.youtube.com

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

If any of these guys actually post a video within the next 24 hours doing better I’ll drive into a Jersey barrier going 25 over in my jeep and post it I’m not kidding

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@Chromie001 “We 5’11” guys—”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@tardcraig You love to see it

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@normposter Me (me) next time I see a hero (teacher) in public (public)

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@Feldfrog Rodney Dangerfield never said this.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@JoshLekach @perseus2134 Someone’s never heard of wakanda…

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@Aristos_Revenge Literally bible fanfic. Story makes no sense. Homestar runner is a better portfolio piece.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

8 months

@unormal His civilization of preference was built by people known for their preference of pooping in the street.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@bizlet7

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

🦦

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

You need to be sirmaxxing. You need to be making other men feel good while they’re talking to you. You need to be calling young ladies “miss” and scaring them with your odd use of language.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@CursedModernism Look Tomar, it’s you!

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@deimosmustdie @LandsharkRides Like if a Neanderthal just walked up to a chessboard and started playing. No “theory.” No “openings.” Absolute Will to Chess

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@NEPHEWRXK Gonna say it. Girl poop is 10x worse.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

4 months

Oh guys the big freakish monster is misunderstood ah fuck I’m sorry guys I totally missed the point ah gosh damn it to hell I’m sorry

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@Lotad69 I'd like to dedicate this tribute to a pretty little lady here tonight. @Lotad69 , this one's for you.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@DramaAlert “GAH—WHAT?? What do you MEAN Piss Christ isn’t ART??!?”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@mannhatur Sounds like European cope.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@hasanthehun

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@wolktress Testicle :(

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Mike

@mikenotgay

7 months

@ShitpostGate He’ll naw how they finna test rocket league on da dawg?? 😭💀💀💀💀💀

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@tacticbrah @LandsharkRides Okay and?

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

@real_lord_miles So handsome, good job Miles! Very proud! XOXO

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

@PaulLomax @elonmusk @anothercohen Journalist Your wife sleeps as far away from you as possible on the other side of the bed with her back turned to you. Your children will never respect you. Imagine being someone’s father and trying to “own” celebrities on Twitter. Rough.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

Atheists be like “Okay Google, play Livin’ on a Peer Reviewed Journal by Bon Jovi on Spotify”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

4 months

@LandsharkRides Kierkegaardian. Freudian. Mentzerian. Mikian.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@Chunky_Buttons Siri de-project this shadow. Shrink. Generate projection of average groyper cock using AI. Ohhhh yeah. Now we’re talkin. Project the whole thing back onto a cylinder. Export to blender file. Yep. I’m thinking it’s over.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

4 months

Female neighbor just watched me scarf down forkfull after forkfull of kalamata olives (from the store bought container mind you) through our adjacent balcony windows. Powerful.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@wolktress You know who’s gonna make you happy? A woman. A woman with Asperger’s.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

It’s crazy how the liberals put vents in all the bathrooms so red-blooded Americans like myself have to live in fear of the shit gnomes. I heard one running in the ducts once, luckily I was quick to shut the vent. Stay active/in shape…one day it might just save your life.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

No such thing as “unskilled labor”

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@holeliker @tweet_victim

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@BeNice2MeProd Girl funny is just gay guy funny :/

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

If it’s only women gassing you up, you’re losing and probably smelly.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@ugroyp WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HISTORY OF WWII?!?

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Mike

@mikenotgay

3 months

This 97-year-old cock still makes piss the old fashioned way.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

Last known picture of Eliot Rodger before his killing spree and suicide. Absolutely spine-chilling.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@ElectionLegal New wojak dropped

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Mike

@mikenotgay

5 months

@19111941NOM214 Sorry.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

🚨 YOU NEED TO BE OTTERMAXXING YOU NEED TO BE GOING TO YOU NEED TO BE SHIRTPILLED AND ON YOUR LIMITED TIME ONLY GRIND NO CHOICE. NOVEMBER 16th.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

Coldest killa in da physhtank not even close @DamielBernaldo

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

Justin Roiland when the soup of quarks (judge) generates sound waves (sentences him) to pass an arbitrary amount of "time" (3 years) inside a bunch of atoms (prison) on a speck of dust in space for making his fists' atoms touch his girl's body's at a high velocity (beating her)

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@0liviajulianna Looks like you’ve been sitting at the table for long enough. Please put the fork down.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@JoshLekach These acronyms are some Kabbalah style “tell them what you’re doing and there’s no karmic consequence” shit. D.I.E. for HR diversity hell metric-keeping. D.I.N.K. for people who terminate their own bloodlines… Excited for the next one

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

Alright Elon…I get it now…respect.

💚

@INCENDIOOOOOO

1 year

grimes celebrating christmas:

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@Evanz111 @OrdinaryGamers Incorrect

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@SOMETHINGISMIS3 WHERE IS SHE?

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@AlastairGrayson @AllanRicharz @OrwellNGoode Bubbas stay mad

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@therealsupes What if I shit my pants and it stunk real bad but nobody wanted to be rude so nobody said anything even though the whole room reeked like poop and shit?😳😭

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@alpharivelino Well done 🥂

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Mike

@mikenotgay

6 months

@RealDianeYap Diane you are so beautiful could you possibley idk wire me $2k please??? I plan on using it to get my mango cart up and running so I can support you and our kids someday.

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Mike

@mikenotgay

2 years

@ntidepressants @a_thing_to_do >e4 >d4 I see you have discovered the rare super-pawn

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Mike

@mikenotgay

1 year

@ayadotnet Me making potions with moms expensive shampoo

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