Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV Twitter profile

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Count Dankula

11 months

We will still strive to ensure that people of all backgrounds can attend university, no matter if you are black, latino, asian or normal.

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Last Seen Profiles

@seulqhi

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

A map of railway lines in the USA vs Europe.

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@CountDankulaTV

1 year

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@CountDankulaTV

2 years

It's good to be back.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Unfathomably based. He fucking won too.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

RIP to a real one.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 months

I was really disappointed when I found out Javier Milei was going to the WEF summit. Until I got a few minutes into his speech and he is just telling them that everything they are doing is wrong and fucked up and the "root of all the worlds problems". He's a pulling a Gervais

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

6 months

@shoe0nhead I did the same when my daughters were born. The nurses literally tell you to do this. It's so the baby can get your scent, feel, regulates their heartbeat, it lets the baby know that the father is present and nearby which is a massively comforting thing for them since being born

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

If y'all don't pipe down I'll make women illegal.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

So you robbed a guy?

CBP

@CBP

1 year

CBP officers discovered $33K in unreported currency possessed by an Egypt-bound traveler at Washington Dulles International Airport during a baggage examination on November 8. The traveler verbally reported that he had $20K. More:

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

ELON LET ME CHANGE MY NAME BACK

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that Amou Haji finally had his first bath and then died a few months later.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

My wife sends me pictures of exactly where my dinner is because she knows I will forget because I'm a retard.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

These people votes count just as much as yours.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 months

Checks twitter "Jew Tunnels" Closes twitter

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

This tweet still hits me hard.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

On this day, 18 years ago, a reasonable man had to do unreasonable things.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

5 years

Having to apologize for calling an otter fat is peak 2018.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Please bro, I know we fired people from their jobs and exiled them from society bro, we didn't know bro, I know we arrested old women for feeding pidgeons and trampled people with horses and raided their homes but we were misinformed bro, we were only following orders bro.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

His last act was releasing a bunch of carbon into the atmosphere.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@elonmusk Hello Elon, you seem to have disabled name changes. I was wondering when that would be getting turned back on as I appear to have gotten myself into a bit of a situation.

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@CountDankulaTV

1 year

On this day, 19 years ago, a reasonable man had to do unreasonable things.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 months

Right wing boycott : One of the worlds biggest beer companies loses billions, has to completely restructure its own advertising to beg forgiveness. Left wing boycott :

Hogwarts Legacy

@HogwartsLegacy

3 months

Thank you for making #HogwartsLegacy the #1 best-selling game of 2023 worldwide.

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@CountDankulaTV

2 years

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@POTUS We were careful in our decision Mr President.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

5 years

Man loses engine power while flying his plane and records his final words for his wife and children, absolutely heartbreaking.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

9 days

@tx2official "Punk is when all of my opinions line up with the states" fucking lmao

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

Jesus fucking Christ.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

Elon. It is now the weekend Elon. Why am I still giant penis Elon. You promised Elon.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

This is also weird and you shouldn't do this either.

Freemz

@FreemzTTV

2 years

Don’t take your kids to drag shows.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

11 months

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Imagine my mortgage being 1/5th of your rent.

Damin Toell

@damintoell

2 years

Imagine not living in New York City.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

6 years

Americans, Print out a copy of your constitution, put it in a really nice frame, and kiss it before you go to bed at night. You have no idea how lucky you are.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

When you were about to make a joke but you live in Scotland.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Here is me literally being arrested and dragged out of my house for a joke I made. You fuckers honestly live in your little own world.

Jack Anory #FBPE #ClimateChange 🇺🇦🇬🇧🇪🇺

@Anory12Jack

2 years

@CountDankulaTV @Otto_English @Danny_jack94 @hanns420 @CraigyBaby__ @Yama_vole @kkaufhold @heatsand @BetoORourke no one's been arrested for jokes. Now shut up and sit down.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@elonmusk You going to spill the beans on shadowbanning and information manipulation algorithms?

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Weird how he stopped replying after he googled.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Our time has come.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

5 months

The funniest memory I have of Alex Jones is when he was driving me and Sargon in his big military truck thing and no one had said anything for about 15 minutes, we were just admiring the scenery. Then completely out of nowhere Alex just says "We're gonna beat the fucking

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Good morning. Court is in session. Sluts.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

Happy international womens day.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

9 months

Did you know that if you don't get married your house magically cleans itself?

Grit

@GRITCULT

9 months

this is trending on tik tok pretty crazy how mass adopted the psy ops are

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

You were cheering at me being arrested over a joke.

hasanabi

@hasanthehun

3 years

comedy policing is the dumbest thing it’s not activism- but man dave chappelle is just a boomer now, it’s very sad to see.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

For comparison, Union Carbide only had to pay half of this amount for causing an environmental disaster that killed over 15,000 people.

BNO News

@BNONews

2 years

BREAKING: Alex Jones ordered to pay nearly $1 billion in second Sandy Hook defamation trial

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

11 months

@POTUS We were careful in our decision Mr President.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

Someone made a surprise early appearance. Meet Morag. 6lb 5oz. Sue is doing fine and recovering. She did amazing. Got them both home and they are both resting.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Get you a president that knows what day it is.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

7 years

*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation..

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

So many people owe Alex Jones so many apologies.

New York Post

@nypost

4 years

Jeffrey Epstein hosted Bill Clinton on his private island, documents reveal

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

I'm just gonna say it. COVID is very serious, but we have had outbreaks (SARS etc) with similar symptoms and death rates, and world leaders have never resorted to shutting down the world and the economy. I think there is something about this virus that we are not being told.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Yeah, yours.

congo 🦍

@ENiamoko

2 years

@CountDankulaTV @AOC You don’t gotta worry bout any females getting pregnant around you boss. That’s a face only a mother could love😭😭

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

6 years

Imagine being so much of a bitch boy over losing a video game that you shoot people. His name henceforth is "Bitch Boy" Ignore his real name when it gets released. His name is Bitch Boy.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Must be her time of the month.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

9 months

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

5 years

The people of Hong Kong are fighting against authoritarianism, mass surveillance and totalitarian government control, they are fighting for their freedom and their lives. And some fucking how people have found a way to call them far-right Nazis. I'm done.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

I was the last one working on Jan 5th and forgot to lock the doors. My bad.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Man the left turned on the working class pretty quick after some truckers started tooting their horns.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Been overturning Hoes Vs Mad all day.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

17 years ago today. An entire town found out.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

I'm fine.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@AOC Then don't get pregnant.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Oooooh I'm boutta condemn. I'm CONDEEEMMMNNNING. -Every world leader

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

Boy I was gone for a whole month, I can't wait to check in on my favourite rapper and sneaker salesman.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

11 months

"The mass murderer of children was shot 30 times"

Terror Alarm

@Terror_Alarm

11 months

🚨🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇸 New: #Nashville trans shooter Audrey "Aiden" Hale's autopsy report shows that the transphobic Police officers used nearly 30 bullets to kill 28-year-old trans accused of the mass shooting in a Christian school. #AudreyHale

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

6 years

People are asking me to confirm the rumor going around, that after my sentence was handed down, I turned around to the audience gallery of the courtroom and dabbed. This is true. Not a meme. This happened.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Nothing will be a more wild ride than reading about how pseudo-liberal elites perceive the world.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Lol.

YouTube

@YouTube

2 years

who’s a dog on YouTube that changed your life? 🐶

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

Love it when they move the goalposts and I still score.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@ZaackHunt @elonmusk Zack should get a job.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

My wife quite enjoys my small penis actually.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Given all the death threats I'm getting imagine what the actual justices are going to get.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

8 months

Mine. I've spent the last 7 years growing the Furred Reich.

Lord Bebo

@MyLordBebo

8 months

Who’s cat is this?

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

9 months

Javier Milei, a libertarian, is the current favorite to win the presidential election in Argentina. I can see why.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@RoyalFamily A very dark day for the whole family.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Zelensky is a comedian who became president of a country and then handed out free guns to citizens so they could guerilla war against foreign invaders. The man is living my dream.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

11 months

The court rules that you can bake your own fucking cake.

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

11 months

In a 6-3 vote, the Supreme Court has officially ruled that businesses have the right to discriminate against LGBTQ+ Americans.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

I think the reason internet women use the word Incel so much, even towards married men or guys in relationships, is because they go through so many metres of dick a day that compared to them everyone is practically the virgin Mary.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

Velma was so god awfully shit that leftists are claiming it was a right wing psyop to make the left look bad.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

6 months

I love it when governments tell on themselves by proving they could have solved major problems affecting their tax paying citizens this entire time, they just didnt care. Impressing a foreign country that hates America mattered more to the state than literal American citizens.

End Wokeness

@EndWokeness

6 months

San Francisco finally fixed the homeless crisis. All it took was a visit from a world dictator. Before Xi: After:

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

I hereby declare the itty bitty titty committee a terrorist organisation.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

6 months

What's an acceptable number of stabbed and raped children before people are allowed to get really angry and admit that this whole immigration thing might not be in our best interests?

Jamie

@jenties87

6 months

Today there was tragedy which involved the stabbing of children in Dublin City, sick and inexcusable. That doesn’t excuse the scenes coming out of Dublin tonight. Absolute feral animals who don’t give a single fuck about the victims. Just looking for any excuse to loot and burn

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

I am so so sorry for offending everyone with my joke. I will take this opportunity to reflect and grow as a person. I hope this tribute redeems me.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

People of a certain ethnic background literally being loaded onto trains and shipped off to camps but we need to focus on the really important issues like that statue of a slave owner who has been dead for 200 years.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Please say a prayer for dearest Grandmama.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

2 years

@BorisJohnson Your government arrests people for tweets.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 months

I fucking love that you can say retard on Twitter again.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

Rich man perplexed at people having human rights.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

It has almost been an entire month of being stuck as GIANT PENIS on twitter and hearing the exact same jokes every single day @elonmusk please let me change my name.

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@CountDankulaTV

4 months

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@CountDankulaTV

2 years

Unimaginably based.

KnowNothing

@KnowNothingTV

2 years

Here is the audio of the Snake Island encounter between Russian and Ukrainian navy vessels translated to English. May the 13 brave Ukrainian heroes rest in power. 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

3 years

@elonmusk We do not need masks. We have his protection pbuh. The great nation of Afghanistan is free from the west. Inshallah.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

1 year

I completely accept your apology. Thank you.

Peter Hitchens

@ClarkeMicah

1 year

@countdankulatv . I owe you an apology. It is plain that you are not a neo-nazi, and I was wrong to call you one. I am sorry.

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

Let me save you time from watching the Oscars. -climate change bad but I came here in a private jet -we need to help the poor, but not with my millions, those are mine -everything is racist even cornflakes -no borders....apart from the ones in my gated community. -orange man bad

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Count Dankula

@CountDankulaTV

4 years

When #WorldWarIII is about to kick off but the criminal record the state unfairly gave you over a joke makes you ineligible for military service.

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@CountDankulaTV

3 months

Disclose.tv

@disclosetv

3 months

JUST IN - U.S. Supreme Court appears set to strike down Colorado ruling to kick Trump off 2024 ballot — Independent

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@CountDankulaTV

1 year

Funny that isn't it?

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@CountDankulaTV

2 years

I THOUGHT THIS WAS FAKE ITS FUCKING REAL HAHAHAHAHAHA

Diane Abbott MP

@HackneyAbbott

2 years

Teenage boy raped at hotel housing refugees. Terrible case. But it is what happens when you demonise migrants and take NO responsibility for safeguarding migrant children. #SuellaBravermanOut

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@CountDankulaTV

1 month

@POTUS Pussy

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