amanda @diedoflaughter Twitter profile

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

me, now a pro at opening a bottle of wine with a screwdriver: yes quarantine is going fine~~

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@vivianosaurus not mine posting me googling how to spell restaurant 3 times a week

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@okaishawty one time I bought this dude concert tickets for his bday bc he always said he didn’t have money to go out so anyways I told him & he didn’t say thanks & then ghosted me for 2 weeks so when he texted right before the concert so he could still go I ignored him & took another guy 🥳

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@kal2ka @vivianosaurus 😞 yes

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@CommieIrani @thedigitaldash_ they fucking pull u back up faster than gravity had u hitting the ground for real, it’s almost artful to watch.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@glorbis now why is this literally my cat ?

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@Janaeble @okaishawty They were Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets too!!!!! The AUDACITY of him to ghost me!!!!!!!!

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@sweetfoolsss @abbygov he has 3 Netflix specials :)

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@laurenmechling actually i fully stand behind this one sorry

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@malibushelley1 @PageSix yikes that’s a whole lot of misogyny and antisemitism for one tweet!

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@ShiloByrd @kaichoyce @IjeomaOluo

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@schaell3 @Seider95_ @BarstoolHubbs have you considered that perhaps they do not want a million photos of themselves, but they want a handful of really good ones? And that taking a million is exactly how you get a handful of great ones?

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@bigestaban can u do mine next 👀

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@zachsilberberg @Skovular tbh if any 19 year old DIDNT find me cringe in some ways i’d be upset

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@JeanRemyDuboc @MitchellBroadb3 @yunatalks quality exchange. good work u two. gold stars all around. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

10 months

@clhubes @Bawstinn genuinely not trying to be an asshole i just literally don’t get it. why does it matter if other people fawn over and validate your baby? did you not have your baby for you and your spouse? like i’m so confused.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@Coll3enG not to point out the obvious but the problem isn’t that people with children get accommodations made to fit the needs of their life, the problem is that often childless people do not receive the same guilt free treatment for other issues that come up in their life.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@connorhannigan4 I’ve been in college for 6 years and not a single person has ever spoken to me

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@anugov1 ok the other day I had an actual doctor admit to me that doctors are not really very smart just good at memorizing things.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@MysteriousSwor2 @FluxArtbyJake @OwenPope13 @AbbySoMaddy @oneirodynia @nypost @abinbev they’re boycotting bud light over pro lgbt marketing and have caused sales of modelo, partially owned by the same company, and partially owned by a even more pro lgbt company, to skyrocket. it’s hilarious.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@distantcreative @Halliesss @__STALLION___ look i’m 100% sure they are grieving but funerals and dealing with all that comes with them are very expensive so i’m sure money is not the last thing on their minds. these people are burying their children and now have to come up with thousands to do so. while grieving.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@Residentslicee @BMath734 @KartierSzn @TweetXan_ idk if it was a typo or done intentionally but calling him snaps has me dyin 😭 will be doing that forever now

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@kendraaaleighh in my own personal experience, they can be incredibly arrogant and full of themselves, refuse to accept when they are wrong, talk down to others, etc.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@ecogggswell they are also best buds.....it’s so cute it hurts tbh

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@jazz_inmypants I don’t mind because it ensures that I never forget eggs

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@ProfessorCrunk @kahlildozier So you assume that because they informally emailed you, someone they are ultimately paying to teach & keep track of their grades, that they must not know how to formally address an email? That’s a pretty sad assumption from my perspective, esp when you said you said you do it too

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

10 months

@emilykmay @sarahradz_ implies the existence of a fire birth ????? help ????

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@spideycheIIe @_vulpix jk Rowling gave you the weasleys let Ariel be black it’s fine

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@Krista0201 @babysinonn Honestly the audacity to be a racist businesses owner in HOUSTON?! only a matter of time before she gets her shit wrecked lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

10 months

@nicgogh @clhubes @Bawstinn community & randos fawning over babies to me feel like two entirely different things??

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@kendraaaleighh all u need to know is absolutely do NOT date one

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@kstltz @zachsilberberg @Skovular i don’t look at it exactly that way, but gen z is regularly cringey to ME so i fully expect them to find me cringey and it does not hurt my feelings lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@jodieegrace John mulaney

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@wydstepbrOoke @dre4mluvr Are you telling me this is not Rico???

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@HamsterEmoji @emerywainscott Xylitol (an artificial sweetener often used in sugar free gum & other low carb sweets recipes) and ibuprofen are also extremely toxic to dogs!

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@sabrinaaleeyah tf? no, when I’m rich I’m gonna spend my money on cool experiences.....for now I’m gonna sleep til 6pm every Sunday so I only gotta pay for 1 meal

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@gothjackieburk

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@abbygov call maintenance to change a lightbulb in a weird light fixture. I’ve been peeing in the dark for 18 months.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@schaell3 @Seider95_ @BarstoolHubbs 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 A+

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@Rica_Bee hear me out: cocaine

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@TheirMaddesty sorry [gender giggles] in the captions is actually killing me 😂

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@BZoods @winnieplsshutup a mf hits notify anyways once and im blocking them

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@tamagotchimilf i would like to know more tbh

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@ecogggswell My bois

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@barrettnataliie @ecogggswell it’s honestly too much 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@SheaSerrano I know this is impressive but have you seen the rock climbing goats???

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@RaxKingIsDead I didn’t know Abby from NCIS got married.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@ayyuhl have u tried wearing more polka dots?

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

6 years

@goawaynina @gandhi_bluhd @YungToothache Ayyyy y’all i used to work at ChickFilA for $7.75/hr and was in the same financial boat as y’all. Got a job as a server and my income has literally quadrupled! I recommend finding either a popular chain or a more expensive place with decent customer base.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@IlianaR92785910 @jaquezjaquezz iiiiiii am very pro immigrant legal or not but a) there are more than ~250 homeless people out there, and b) have you tried to get a job when you have no clean clothes or running water/toiletries to clean yourself up with? Walk a mile in someone’s shoes first, no?

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

11 months

@MaebyKate @bigskybabs i mean there are definitely different expectations of service in different types of establishments but verbally assaulting the staff anywhere is never an acceptable reaction to sub par service.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@kacijanehansen @brainwxrms 3 pumps of white mocha please

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@ccisntfunny Where’s he live I just wanna talk 😤😤😤😤😤😠😠😠😠

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@lilgrapefruits @girlingbug makes u feel like someone inflated a balloon inside ur skull but not with helium

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@annikahilation @clownnoises @jaboukie that or potentially he was taken out to keep him quiet.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@MattTheBrand once went on a date that I thought was going very well. At the end he told me he couldn’t see me again because he was moving to Argentina. (This was 3 years ago and we both still live in the same city)

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@AliceRHamilton good for u for standing up for yourself! sorry he pulled that shit on u. on an unrelated note i think i own both of these shirts, great taste! lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@bae04823678 @ubesnax i really hate to break it to you, but you can show me any aesthetic and i can find a racist who dresses that way. this is a really strange thing to be upset about. let people wear what they feel comfortable & confident in.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@sarahschauer ok so no lie my mom is a purple person and her best friend is a tie-dye person

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@ginnyhogan_ i’m pretty sure she admitted this one was about harry styles babes

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

10 months

@nicgogh @clhubes @Bawstinn i get different forms of community and i get the need for validation but i don’t get a baby needing validation from community or a mother needing validation for her baby from community ?? idk i’m not a mother and won’t ever be one but i just don’t get this.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@dianaxgatsby i asked my best friend who knows everything about everything for the context here and felt i should share her reply with you all lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@jil_slander @acechhh did you have this adjusted on your drivers license?

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@heyyitsjanea @IAmQuisB ur so real for this

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@annikahilation @clownnoises @jaboukie we think he was potentially one of the insiders who helped the mob

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@Coll3enG like the reason for the accommodation shouldn’t explicitly be that they have kids, it should be because you’re a human dealing with life and life happens to all of us and often at inconvenient times.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@MaXD205 @thedigitaldash_ you’re the problem. moshing is for fun not to see who can survive a fucking concert.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@mrdarkside78 @radfemswiftie not trying to stereotype anyone and maybe me & my friends are less stereotypical than others but in my own personal experience, the guy on the left was not usually ruled out based on appearance alone. it usually came paired with bad hygiene, off putting comments, etc.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@flusteredfairy @greenwitchaqua still use it no shame y’all

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@WerePagesTurned she looks happy to be quickly avoiding the cameras too here. y’all are reaching. they are holding hands. he’s not dragging her lmao

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

10 months

@MystikSpirally @clhubes that’s really not great bc the waitress has other people to tend to & a job to do. you basically just said “i’m going to let you waste this working adults time instead of me having to pay attention to you out in public, great!”

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

please enjoy this dramatic central park snow clip of Moey 🥺❤️❄️

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@hansoliesgf all this time I thought I “had” depression, but maybe I’m just super into depression?????! 🙃

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@LazySwimCoach @sreekyshooter @HPbasketball ur so right. born in 95 in san antonio i was simply not built to suffer thru basketball hard times. 2 seasons was ENOUGH

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

6 years

@goawaynina @gandhi_bluhd @YungToothache Doesn’t need to be the busiest place on earth if the tabs are high and customer base is well off, but if that’s not an option, major chains are usually pretty solid. Tipping is a shit system but if you do it right you come out on top. Good luck!! 🍀

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@shutupaida to be fair green is a very nice color

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@JonOfOakland @TracyCamp10 @peligrietzer u can also just put them in an ice bath when they’re done and then shake them around in a container and the shells just slide off

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@oliviajacks7 @ccisntfunny we can carpool

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@playnikes bartender here, in a whiskey sour the whiskey matters less than using real sugar/simple syrup and real juices (lemon&lime) instead of sour mix. But if all you gots sour mix, Makers makes does a good job.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@communistbabe I know you have 7600 followers but I just moved here do u wanna be pals I found a great pasta bar near me

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@NikaTheSunGod @cmoreno237 @ty_brass @tmlewis Greenwood is on the northern half of tulsa and historically was made up of a large concentration of African-American businesses known as “Black Wall Street”. otherwise, tulsa is 62% white.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@sarahschauer don’t like how universal of an experience this was!!!! but i hope u feel better soon!!

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

6 years

@goawaynina @gandhi_bluhd @YungToothache also once you get the job find an appetizer, cocktail and dessert on the menu that you really like/can sell and suggest them to every table. Always try to bump those tabs up!

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@fenieist when i was a kid i was prone to ear infections and one day i was just kinda in a bad mood and said my ear kinda hurt so my mom took me to the doctor that day, the dr looked in my ear and asked her why she waited so long to bring me in as my ear drum was about to rupture lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

5 years

@kaiteasley a guy ended a date with me by saying we couldn’t have a 2nd date because he was about to move to Argentina. 3 weeks later he texted to tell me that he hadn’t moved yet and then next day his Facebook changed to “in a relationship” with some girl and he never moved to Argentina lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@MysteriousSwor2 @FluxArtbyJake @OwenPope13 @AbbySoMaddy @oneirodynia @nypost @abinbev again, my point is that it’s funny. i’m not bein a weirdo lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@kellymtanguay @ShaneCarrow @RaxKingIsDead @monicaheisey This movie knew I was a pothead before I knew I was a pothead

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@Crippletron6 @OkTouchingGrass @madddeline_ look the people in the back pushed forward, and the people in the front pushed back because they were being crushed into railings. performers stop shows and tell people to back up and chill out all the time. this is on travis.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

6 years

I’m still not on a beach in Italy drinking way too much wine in case u were wondering how absolute shit my life is

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@seeitinmymind @emilykthen i was thinking it was more to protect her hair and makeup??? i know her make up didn’t move even in the rain but lord knows i’ve put on a white shirt after doing a full face of make up 😭😭

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@sarahschauer moey 🥰

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

4 years

@tamagotchimilf sent this to my bff this saturday from broadway bagel, WAS IT YOU????

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@DranaeC_ @invaderti_ so how u gonna know if u have it ? lol

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

2 years

@Josh810 @spurs @AirAlamo think this needs a becky quote tbh

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

6 years

@jaboukie had to google the word subversive but after googling I agree 100% and also have learned a new word today—yeehaw

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

1 year

@irlolive i worked a mile from the stadium in houston for the reputation tour and they are correct for doing this.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

10 months

@latkedelrey ya they were having a town hall meeting that day and the asteroid got ‘em all😢 very tragic story

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@thatautumnchill @ginnyhogan_ respectfully, please take several seats.

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amanda

@diedoflaughter

3 years

@MaXD205 @thedigitaldash_ it wasn’t designed for that many people tho. he encouraged people to break down the barriers and sneak it once it was sold out. and still, no it’s not the nature of the beast. it’s supposed to be a lil wild and fun not deadly. this is a trash take.

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