Doo dah @di_da_doh Twitter profile

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8 months

@ejrosetta @50shadegreyskul *proofer’s It’s possessive. Needs an apostrophe.

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3 years

Fortunately, since cancel culture really doesn’t exist at all, this is a terrific own goal and Alexei Sayle’s Desert Island Discs is likely to have higher listener numbers now than any other. I didn’t know he was on. I’ll be tuning in on Sunday. #IStandWithAlexeiSayle

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@learnsicilian I remember going to Poland and being warned that they think sauerkraut goes with everything. This was from British people. I’ve lived my whole life in the UK and even I’m amazed sometimes how much the The British seem to hate food. How determined they are to ruin it.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@art_pleb @OwenBenjamin You’re forgetting that they’re also all in on the existence of America too. America doesn’t exist. It’s just made up for TV and movies. No one has ever been there. You were lied to.

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@AlexanderPayton In America, they have to swipe a little magnetic strip on the card and then sign something to pay for the stuff in the supermarket which will then cost something different to what it says on the sticker.

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@cheer_wine I’ve been to America loads of times and the most flavourful food they have is Reese’s peanut butter cups which most Americans are scared to eat. Most of the food is boiled sausages and meatloaf.

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@ov_ceo @RyanR12895 @miakhalifa @LaurenJauregui They haven’t used the death penalty in Lebanon for over a decade. When did the US last put someone to death?

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@di_da_doh

9 months

@Darsam12_ It’s not “normal”. Just better.

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@mrnutsobalzac @learnsicilian Yes. We all eat local game and the veg of the unique climate of the British isles. We’re definitely not eating overcooked fusilli in Dolmio with sweet corn in.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@acechhh Lot of people here saying they don’t like Sheeran’s music. I mean, I’m a 45 year old man so I sort of reckon I’m not the target audience but my 9yo loves him and when I compare it to the music I liked at 9, he’s definitely way better. Got her interested in playing music too.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@S_Roy84 @Ossian414 I mean, that is how you explain it too. You just say “the Daily Mail intentionally lies to rile people up into a panic. It’s not true.” An 8 year old will get that straight away.

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@avauntguard Man that sucks. I was once in a small off-licence, chatting with the proprietor who recommended a beer called Jacobite Ale. I said I’d tried it before but ended up with a terrible Hannover. They just assumed I’d said hangover a bit weird and carried on. I was gutted.

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@di_da_doh

7 months

@charlesbamford @RichardJMurphy Saying socialism and communism are based on grievance narratives makes the assumption that people’s politics are shaped only by their own self interests which is a pretty uncharitable view of humanity tbh. You could even call it nihilism verging on extremist.

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4 months

@Psythor I’ve read more specific horoscopes.

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@_celia_bedelia_ @maxsparber Still current use in Scotland. At primary school, I remember someone in my class correcting a classmate on it for using ‘bad English’. The teacher intervened “It may be bad English but it’s perfectly good Scots.”

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@learnsicilian The number of times I’ve ordered lasagna and found coleslaw on the plate with it. COLESLAW! FFS.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@WorldWearyWoman @moefromcanada @raerhi Exactly -and that’s partly because they don’t test most of the athletes. Only the ones they don’t like the look of. My guess is that the venn diagram of women with high testosterone and women who become elite athletes has a very large area of overlap. Will they medicate them all?

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@khan_solo24 @cheer_wine Well it seems to be the theme of the conversation from OP down.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@Bolt_451 @EwaSR @briggityboppity @Winskillfull I mean, I’d also throw the ball for an actual junkie if they were being really playful and happy and brought it back every time.

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@di_da_doh

3 months

It’s crazy the way that ‘being made to feel uncomfortable’ - usually by being confronted about one’s own actions - is just casually referred to as ‘being attacked’ or ‘abuse’ now.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@shinyandnew70 That only includes all the real people who watched it, were aware of it, or knew what a funeral was. The real figure could be as high as 10bn if you count all the people who don’t exist watching it too. And if you don’t count them, that’s the same as hating freedom.

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@prettyboy5231 @LibertyHussein @LauraAMoran @emilynussbaum This gets stuck in my head whenever I see “Lock the Taskbar” appear as a r click option in windows.

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@anon_opin There is! You can buy special ‘cheese graters’ now. Just draw it across the surface of the cheese and hey presto! No more needing to smash it up with your fists or by shouting at it. It’s a modern labour saving miracle.

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@scousepie Wait until this guy finds out what young people used to wear around London in the 80s, and the 70s, and the 60s.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@Advil Ha! I literally did this this morning when the new X logo app icon appeared on my phone. It was just too ‘strip-club’ and I couldn’t bring myself to to keep it on my phone’s homepage.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@davidcinema Some incredible films in this thread but I’ve seen no mention of The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

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@di_da_doh

9 months

@MikeNextWorld @spaceblazed @crudeconcept Agnostic is meaningless. Everyone is agnostic because no one knows. The question is what do you believe. What seems likely. An agnostic about that is just someone who doesn’t know what they think. I respect atheists and theists. At least they have the courage of their convictions

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@MikeGapes So he shouldn’t have won the ballot?

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@di_da_doh

6 years

@MooseAllain Prism: the ideological dogma of pr.

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@di_da_doh

8 months

@fesshole I’m Scottish, living in Ireland. Once a guy from England was visiting the office and asked about Tayto crisps having heard that they were great. ‘Ach they’re just cheese and onion crisps’ I replied, in front of everyone. Could’ve cut the following tension in the room with a knife

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@di_da_doh

3 months

@janm18459 @JakeWSimons That’s an islamophobic genocide to ethnically cleanse a region to make way for resettlement by a theocratic ethnostate. But it’s not antisemitism so Jake’s cool with it.

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@ojedge @mrnickharvey My 5yr old’s names for Santa’s reindeer.

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@esjesjesj @Boi_die I’m a Philosophy graduate who spent a lot of time reading both Marx and Neitzsche and I have no idea what point this meme is trying to make.

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@di_da_doh

9 months

@robdelaney The best bit of Miles Davis’ Tumpet Party is the bit where he shouts ‘Trumpet Party!’ And they all play trumpets including Miles Davis who loves to play trumpets.

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@di_da_doh

4 years

Genuinely amuses me that people think they’ve got Cummings on this driving to Durham thing. They’re forgetting that the watchword of government since the Tories got in is impunity. They are literally allowed to do anything. There are never any repercussions. None.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@quendergeer I flatter myself it’d be ‘inmate’ but in reality I’d probably be involved in some fairly mundane kind of office drudgery not dissimilar to now, but being very very careful about who I spoke to.

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@_celia_bedelia_ My initial response was to feel attacked. ‘But I’ve always called them roasties’. I thought. ‘Sunday lunch: beef, yorkshires, carrots, greens, gravy, and roasties! What’s wrong with that!?’ Then I googled it. Now I feel sad.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

I dunno. You spent 2019 insisting he was absolutely the sensible and competent choice so was this a one-off lapse of judgement or a deliberate strategy?

'Is he fit to lead?': Newspapers across the world are now questioning Boris Johnson's future

The Downing Street party scandal has been topping global news bulletins

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@SuggsTerrel @ArroganTiger @JoametteGil None of the people mentioned in the post are trans.

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@Birch656 @AlexanderPayton Yes. Why isn’t the tax included in the price!? Everywhere else manages it. If the price tag says $10, the amount I would expect to part with at the checkout is $10. Not $10+tax. If it costs $10+tax it should have that amount on the price tag to start with.

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@jrc1921 The timeline doing its thing:

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@Luiseach “..know that your dog’s sick”

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@terrychristian Sean Connery as a Russian Submarine commander. Sean Connery as an Irish police officer. Sean Connery as an Immortal Egyptian/Spanish swordsman. All with a Scottish accent.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@ChimpMega @stephsecretwit

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@di_da_doh

8 months

@FouthTimeLucky @AhoFrank @DavidLammy @UKLabour We already do. Trident can’t (physically can’t) be used without US approval. We pay for it and say it’s ours but it’s American really.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

Eleanor Rugby, surely. #BeatlesRugby

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@sug_knight Oil. Except they call it ‘spice’. And then they make Arabia another planet. Like western news broadcasters do.

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@3YearLetterman @NoContextBrits Americans in 1773: *throwing tea into harbour* ‘WTF we supposed to do with this? The microwave hasn’t even been invented yet!’

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@di_da_doh

7 months

@MattTwoTees @fesshole You can. You’re right it’s not true though. Hooking random kegs to taps isn’t difficult but the reason it isn’t true is Carling tastes like socks and no one would ever order anything else, get Carling and think,‘yes. This is what I wanted’. Liking Carling is a very specific kink

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@LandsknechtGuy @AlexanderPayton America is so backwards. Heating water on the stove or in a microwave, the waiter having to take your card away at the restaurant and swiping little magnetic strips on them in shops. It’s like a permanent 1980s in the US.

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4 months

@zakjm7 @brief_rants You just think it’s impolite to mention it?

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@di_da_doh

6 months

@pres1ton @BrySim88 Or, in this case, Scotland.

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@CowMowTV1 @AlexanderPayton Ah cool. America’s catching up then.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@mistergusano @GuanacoDude1821 @lilldoma @SallyMayweather He was literally arming peasants for a revolution.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@jesse_lifterson @SallyMayweather Also, just made up. PRC didn’t exist until ‘49 for a start. Mao was literally arming people in ‘35.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@Johntheduncan By “identitarian garbage” does she mean ‘solidarity’? Is that what it is she’s “done with”?

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@PaulGoldsmith73 @AaronBastani Baddiel directed a movie about a Muslim man who discovers he’s actually Jewish. Did he cast a Muslim man in that role? No. Did he cast a Jewish man in that role? No. And you think he cares about hypocrisy?

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@silkiestmaria @StudentsforLife An appointment at the defenestration clinic.

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@cheer_wine The peanut butter cups is also their most nutritious food explaining the classic ‘American physique’.

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@di_da_doh

5 years

@mrnutsobalzac @learnsicilian Yes but mostly the roast is made with neither technique nor ingredients. It’s cremated protein with soggy carrots mash and bisto granules. Not because that’s cheaper (though it might be) or less effort (though I’m sure it is) but because that’s what people want. They hate food.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@MForstater How many female athletes have testosterone in the male range? We don’t know because we only test them if people think they don’t look ‘feminine’ enough and complain. It wouldn’t be that surprising if the kind of women who become elite athletes are mostly those with high levels.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@MikeGapes Cool story. Nothing at all to do with the tweet it replied to but I enjoyed it anyway.

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@di_da_doh

6 months

@WorldByWolf @jeremycorbyn What communication are you having directly or indirectly with a therapist? If you are having any, then you are clearly working on yourself and want to get well and be better and I think that’s beautiful. You could face seriously better times.

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3 years

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7 months

@Mr_Considerate Is this about Frasier?

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@Beemarkuss @cheer_wine It’s 100% fact. Bland fatty slop.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@JenniferToy13 @QasimRashid Meth and crack are also inanimate objects but people seem pretty happy to restrict access to those.

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@otoboke @Ankaman616 Three beers and you’re officially drinking. Has to be two beers. If you still need more, you could then have another two beers but not three.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@flying_rodent He just ‘this you?’-ed himself?!

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@di_da_doh

3 years

@jackfaulkner @VFreedoms He’s not right though. Every decade since the 1950s, violent crime has dropped. You’re safer now than you ever have been before.

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@di_da_doh

3 years

Quick reminder to all the “both Scottish” Line of Duty theorists that a Scottish accent isn’t genetic.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@LordIanAustin @mattdooner486 I’ve come to the conclusion that you are not fit to know who is a fit person to be PM. That you thought Boris was more fit to be PM than anybody immediately excludes you from the range of opinions that ought to be taken seriously. You’re not just a Tory, but an extremist.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@DavidWolverton @PicturesFoIder So no bread, rice, potatoes, vegetables, fruit, dairy…?

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@di_da_doh

6 months

@flying_rodent Yeah, I’ve said before, one might have assumed that robots would do all the manual Labour, allowing humans time for creativity. Instead, AI is generating endless crappy ‘art’ while we’re still all working ourselves to death. This is not the future that technology promised.

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@di_da_doh

5 months

@cheer_wine People marvel at Americans driving everywhere but they fail to understand, to Americans, these aren’t cars, they’re 280 horsepower mobility scooters.

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@di_da_doh

4 months

@clbozz @SenWarren No there wasn’t.

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@di_da_doh

6 years

@higgswboson @davidschneider It wasn’t an EU border then. RoI also joined in ‘73. We joined at the same time. We’re not leaving at the same time. This is a new scenario.

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@di_da_doh

8 months

@mathaiaus It stands for Petty French Kanadians.

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@3YearLetterman @NoContextBrits What do you mean “yet”? It’s not like it’s not been invented here. It is available but who’s paying to have that put in to use 1 week a year? And if we did all use it, would that be good? Just burning up power, making the world hotter to make the house colder?

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@wildethingy Good point. I’m going to start counting. I saw 2 on the way here so that’s the current tally. I’ll let you know if there’s any increase.

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@di_da_doh

6 months

@HermanMarilyn @Jackiew80333500 @KarenPollock100 How do you know there’s no intent? Is it because they say there’s no intent? Is that the proof?

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@RealBrysonGray Yeah she doesn’t work for you. Literally: you’re not the boss of her.

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@di_da_doh

4 years

@KitSproson @AaronBastani @CCHQPress @SkyNews CCHQ were FactCheckUK in the 2019 General Election.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@shaunasforestbb @Advil If you’ve an iPhone, open the app called shortcuts. Make a new shortcut called Twitter that opens X. Add it to your Home Screen. Select a screenshot of the old Twitter logo for the new shortcut’s icon. Ta-da!

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6 months

@vova__la @jeremycorbyn The more bombing that takes place, the more Hamas there will be. You want to eradicate Hamas? Try Palestinian liberation.

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@di_da_doh

3 months

@flying_rodent It’s just the Hitchhiker’s Guide Lizard Democracy now isn’t it?

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@di_da_doh

6 months

@fidelisanumole @rusukr22 @Intelligencefnt I dunno. They were tested in Vietnam. Lost. They were tested in Afghanistan where the Taliban are still in charge. They went all in to democratise a country In a region where they still say ‘Israel is the only democracy’. They’ve been tested. The results are in. They’re rubbish.

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@di_da_doh

10 months

@largacty1 The frankly insane price-tag and packaging apparently by Kath Kidston aside, why is it in a paper loaf-tin liner!?

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@di_da_doh

9 months

@109mph @bryanblears @fesshole Where did that ‘k’ come from? Why can’t Brits use the alphabet properly like Irish people do?

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@trotterstlushie @MccarthyFintan It’s about winning power. The second bit? not so much.

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@di_da_doh

11 months

@ShappiKhorsandi If it’s happening in your right thumb, you might be about to join Level 42.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@metaldeersolid_ Reminds me of a Rob Newman bit about his American neighbour: Neighbour:“I swear sometimes I think the rest of the world is just gonna form one big country and declare war on us” RN:“we already have. We even have a flag” N:“what’s it look like?” RN:“same as yours but on fire”

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@di_da_doh

3 months

@lolatRUbots @abierkhatib @Alan1160815 We all know when they say Hamas, they mean Muslims. It’s a classic racist trope.

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@di_da_doh

4 years

VLOOKUP is for chumps. INDEX(_,MATCH(“”,_),)

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@gifs_bot No. It’s a country. It kept existing after Americans left.

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@di_da_doh

2 years

@jrc1921 Yes, but who loses? No one. The British public would never vote for that. Someone has to be made miserable or they won’t go for it.

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@di_da_doh

7 months

@flying_rodent Such an odd admission. ‘I don’t understand one of the most prominent fault lines in the culture and politics of two of the four nations of the union. UK politics beyond England is actually unfathomable to me’ is quite take from a UK political pundit.

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@di_da_doh

3 months

@bat020 @flying_rodent

Jam - Thick People

"We specialise in providing thick people for jobs that they're particularly good at."A sketch from Chris Morris' surreal, dark comedy 'Jam'.It's supposed to ...

www.youtube.com

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@di_da_doh

7 months

@simulxxx @ninaturner @jeremycorbyn You can’t cede what isn’t yours.

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@di_da_doh

1 year

@chheplo Ok. You watched Black Mirror but this tweet is almost the exact premise for a Mary Shelly novel.

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