Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی @ShappiKhorsandi Twitter profile

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

My son has been away all week on a school trip. I asked my daughter: ‘do you miss your brother?’ She looked at me puzzled and said ‘isn’t he in his room?’ ALL week.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

Crying for Afghanistan and feeling completely powerless. I speak fluent Farsi, I can translate for refugees if any organisation needs

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

‘Is there racism in the UK?’ Stormzy: ‘yes, 100%’ Yet here’s how this answer (which could be said of any country) is reported. Don’t fall for this ugly, divisive nonsense designed to create unnecessary drama.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

6 years

It’s the second ‘TWAT’ he spits out after we thought he was done, that will stay in my heart for ever.

James Felton

@JimMFelton

6 years

Holy shit the only person left talking sense on Brexit is *squints* Danny fucking Dyer

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Leftie woke culture made it socially unacceptable to call you and I the P-word. Also, we are not your women.

Adam Bienkov

@AdamBienkov

2 years

"I will be incredibly robust in standing up against that lefty woke culture that is trying to cancel our history, our values and indeed our women," says Rishi Sunak.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

@Cobratate @GretaThunberg I'll explain the joke to you...it is not her actual email address. It was just a message to you. Simply writing 'get a life, pencil di*k' wouldn't have been as entertaining. YOUR tweet was pure spite, SHE deployed intelligence and a sense of fun. Because she is smarter than you.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

He went to Eton. I’d expect him to be fluent in French, Gujarati & Arapaho. If bilingual people impress you so much, you should get to know some 1st & 2nd generation immigrants. They’ll blow your mind! They’ll tell you they don’t like being called ‘piccanninies’ in TWO languages!

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

I'm really sorry I assumed the #sendherback people were racists. I now realise that many are actually deeply misogynistic. I should have been more inclusive in my language. Forgive me.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

I totally meant the entire screen of my phone to be included on the canvas. Thankful photo place shared my vision.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

Me: ‘I’m popping to the shops, do you want anything?’ 13 yr old son: ‘oh, erm. Yes. could you possibly get some flowers please? Me: ‘for myself? For mother’s day?’ Boy: ‘erm, yeah. I was going to go later but if you’re going now...’ Me: ‘silly to make two trips’ Boy: ‘yeah’

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Me again. This is strange. Why is a bbc journalist with a million twitter followers, directing her followers to the account of man speaking his mind to the PM. Shall we troll him Laura? What’s happened to journalism? ‘Here! I’ve found him for you!’ Where has common decency gone?

Laura Kuenssberg

@bbclaurak

5 years

This is him here

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

If you think someone as kind, intelligent and gentle as Graham Norton is your enemy, then heaven help you.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 months

My 10 year old daughter disappeared upstairs with the diary I bought her. A while later she asked, 'Mummy can I swear in my diary?' 'Yes' 'REALLY?' 'yes. It's TOTALLY private' She has been writing for ages now. I feel like Irvine Welsh's mother.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

I’ve been away for a few days. In my absence, nearly-12 year old son has discovered Father Ted. He made us tea tonight and will only speak in Mrs Doyle’s voice. This is the reason I had children.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

Back in september, a guy went on trial for sexually assaulting me and was found guilty and sentenced in October. I was grateful CPS had enough evidence to pursue it. I did not waive anonymity nor talk about it publicly as I felt the law had dealt with him and I just wanted to

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

No it didn’t. You just said the same things over and over to shock, with no thought process, and people got over the novelty. A human whoopee cushion. Katie Hopkins: Speaking my mind cost me my career | Money | The Sunday Times

Katie Hopkins: Speaking my mind cost me my career

The controversial views of columnist and broadcaster Katie Hopkins have landed her — and the media outlets she has worked for — in hot water. In 2017 alone, she lost a libel action against poverty...

www.thetimes.co.uk

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

I gave my seat on the tube up for a guy in his forties, just to mess with his head.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

Very much hoping my brother will not write a book about us. In 2007, I threw an avocado at him in a temper.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

If you think someone can't be British if they weren't born here, yet never think Boris Johnson (U.S born) or Eddie Izzard (Born in Yemen) or Joanna Lumley (born in India) are not 'properly' British, then you are a racist person so please don't be offended if I say so.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Have you read the first page of your passport? As a former refugee, I do, I never take for granted my good fortune at being welcomed to make it my home. Her Majesty the Queen symbolised freedom and safety to me as a little girl. I never forgot it.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

I remember when my ex bf worked at the Mirror and called me to say you’d been escorted out. We all have a past. We have all messed up (not as badly as you tbf) doesn’t mean we have to spend the rest of our lives having our right to an opinion torn down because of it.

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

5 years

Halo Hugh... Britain’s moral standard-bearer. 🙏

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

I don’t think there is a man in the country more loved by complete strangers than he is ❤️ He saw me stare at him at an event once, he was kind and understood what a moment of his time would mean to me. So he gave me it. Utterly beautiful man.

Sky News

@SkyNews

4 years

Sir Billy Connolly says his Parkinson's diagnosis means he is finished on stage, saying it was "lovely being good at it". The comedian's also spoken about politics, calling Boris Johnson "a big, silly toff" - full interview here:

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

No law will stop abortion. No one but the owner of the womb has any fucking rights over that womb. While I'm here (and angrier than I thought tbh) NO reason is owed to ANY fucker as to why you had an abortion. EVER. #MyBodyMyChoice #RoeVWade

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

Spare a thought for those who have been leading a double life and now have to choose which partner to isolate with.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Took my family to the cinema today. The kids asked what my favourite bit was. I lied and said ‘when the dragons fell in love’ but really it was when a dad of two behind us got up and yelled ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP’ at the noisy teens in the back row then sat back down again.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

I love that my daughter plays standing up, rather than disturbing the cat.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

We were made to feel that it was SO serious to break the lockdown rules that if a police officer arrested us as we walked home for 'breaking rules' we would not have doubted he was entitled to. Sorry to go here, but it boils my blood they are trying to make light of this.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

My dad keeps 3 rescue chickens in this garden. Me: ‘are they gonna be alright through the winter?’ My dad: ‘yes. They’ve had their rooster jab’ Of all my father’s staggering body of work, this is my favourite.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

I find myself stanning (did I do that right?) Louis Tomlinson.

Louis Tomlinson

@Louis_Tomlinson

3 years

@GMB @piersmorgan @MattHancock This is disgusting. What a evasive coward! Hold your hands up and take responsibility

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

In other news...watching my 15 year old boy play football for YEARS...only just found out that 'Manon' is not the name of a kid on their team.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

10 months

My heart goes out to the parents talking on radio 4 about private school fees going up and having to consider the local school. Really moving report. (You can't buy self awareness)

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

WHY IS THE CAMERA ANGLED LIKE HE'S TALKING TO A TODDLER?????

Rishi Sunak

@RishiSunak

1 year

I’m so proud of this country and I can’t wait for 2023. Happy New Year! 🇬🇧

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

To avoid being pressured to drink at Xmas parties, my mate and I discussed how we pretend our drinks are alcoholic. She pours just tonic in a gin glass with ice and lime, I sit in the corner, sobbing, maniacally texting my ex then wet myself when I stand up.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

2003…anti-war rally. I was 30, this pic was taken by a lovely man I was engaged to (though never married) … who knew the man photo-bombing my picture with Tony Benn was the love of my life. Took us 18 years to realise but we got there in the end :)

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

Such sadness. Her poor family. We kiss better the tiniest scrape, we cut bruises out of their apples, soothe their woes, make their bath water perfect, tuck them up safe and kiss their noses and we shut out the terror that one day, we may not be there to protect them. Agony.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

I, a child of the 80s, have found myself thinking ‘Thatcher would never have stood for this’ You know it’s bad when you you start a sentence with ‘At least Thatcher…’

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

6 years

Done it. A year being single. Longest since I was 23. No anxiety about an unanswered text, a thoughtless word. No reluctant compromises and best of all...no resentment about time I have to give up which could have been given to kids/work/daydreaming. Happy Anniversary to me :)

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

Me and my brother in our pants holding hands...in 1976 and 2011...we may do it again next week.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

The most glorious and unexpected end to a bonkers year. Merry New year from me and my lot xxx

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Just an ordinary mum, moving heaven and earth for her kid.

StanceGrounded

@_SJPeace_

5 years

He has Cerebral Palsy and wanted to skate board so his mom created this for him so that he could. MY HEART 😭❤ Mother Of The Year

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

6 years

Fantastic thing about being a single mum is that no one really supervises what surprises the kids prepare for you so you may, as I did, find them trying to make you an espresso martini at 9am 😍😍😍 #mothersday #singlemum

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

On train to Glasgow on 9.46 train from Euston. Guy opposite, like me, bought M&S lunch. He has waited till now, 1pm, the world’s official lunchtime, to start eating it. I ate mine at 9.47am.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Except she isn’t an immigrant. Think it’s you who can’t see past the colour of her skin to be honest.

spiked

@spikedonline

5 years

Why do the woke left and Remainer elite hate Priti Patel so much? It’s because she’s an immigrant with right-wing views. These people loathe non-whites who deviate from what they consider to be correct thinking. It is outright racism, says Brendan O’Neill

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

If they had any sense, compassion, ability to read the bloody room, they’d have done everything they could to deploy female police officers tonight. Big blokes tackling women to the ground was not the way to go with this.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

If you listened to the Mason Greenwood recording and your response is ‘yeah, but we don’t know the CONTEXT’ then lock yourself up you absolute danger.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

I accept the ebb and flow and changes in language, but....If you take time off, stay IN YOUR HOME and plan fun things to do, it’s a ‘staycation’. If you go away to somewhere else in the UK, you are ‘on holiday’. I will fight with anyone who disagrees, with my bucket and spade.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

My 8 year old daughter giggled when I told her about my friend Greg because ‘your friends have such old fashioned names!’ Her best friends are Betty and Mabel.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Big fat non story. Just left my fatherless daughter with her best mate, who is mourning her dad (he died 16 months ago) They are 8. For them and for kids in myriad of other circumstances, teachers have always said ‘Your grown-ups’. Did in my day too. No mutiny at pick up.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

In the very early days of twitter, when I got my first bit of trolling, my dad said ‘these people don’t have the moral high ground, they just have their own life and flaws out of the public eye. For all you know they lock their dog up in a shed all day. Fuck them’

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Says a lot about the state are in when they start security locking baby food

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Danny Danny Danny. Get your dark, vicious views the fuck away from my daughter. I'll fight till my last breath to protect her from ghouls like you.

Mirror Politics

@MirrorPolitics

2 years

Tory MP Danny Kruger says he doesn’t agree that “women have an absolute right to bodily autonomy".

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Hands up if you’re so old that you know what ‘dossing’ means/meant

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Getting dressed, I thought I’d put on 5 stone in the night…stressful few seconds…turns out they were my daughter’s leggings. Panic over. As you were.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

😂

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

I’ve spent my life walking at night to and from gigs. Walked through Brixton at midnight, Clapham in the dark. Wearing trainers so I could run. I held my keys between my fingers, Asked other women ‘shall we walk together?’ Woman shouldn’t fear the dark. This news is shattering.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

‘Parents say they are not homophobic but would like their homophobia respected’

Leona Smart

@smart_leona

5 years

Outside Parkfield Academy in Brum this morning for another protest against the #lgbtschools programme #NoOutsiders . Parents say they’re not homophobic but they want their values about homosexuality respected, and the Head of the school needs to resign

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

my boy is 12 now...at an age when he is starting to explore all the music that’s out there. Tonight he said ‘I can’t stop listening to this song, Tainted Love. Do you know it?’ 😍

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Beautiful ⁦ @kewgardens …Gabriella chatting to her mum on facebook as we explored. Hope next pic I post of her, Nazanin will be out of this little black rectangle and holding her child’s hand in real and actual life! ⁦ @FreeNazanin ⁩ #Nazanin #freenazanin

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

I just saw them take the knee for the first time...is that it??? That sweet, simple, civilised gesture is what so many are frothing about?

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Every single girl here is my hero.

Karim Sadjadpour

@ksadjadpour

2 years

Today in Iran, schoolgirls remove their compulsory hejab and chant “death to the dictator” while stomping on the photos of their rulers

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

There are no words to excuse @RishiSunak and @BorisJohnson . You put yourselves up to lead, then broke rules you set. You are public servants yet it was beneath you to face hardships alongside the people you serve. People died without the touch or goodbyes of loved ones. Just go.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

It’s beginning to look a lot like I can’t remember all the places I hid Christmas presents in.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

I’ll be honest. My mum usually cooks for us, A LOT (always) I am cooking now. Tonight my daughter said ‘I don’t really like the crackling’ I had made Lasagne.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

After treading in poo and getting it on the table, my dog jumped up and ate the ENTIRE tray of schnitzel I made, immediately sicked all of it up in the garden and is now barking maniacally to be let out to eat the sick. It’s Disney moment after Disney moment in my house.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

This is the language, values and manners of a thug. Treating people, any person, like they are your servant is serious moral and class bankruptcy. Fox has my pity.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

I tried to watch, but can't. This is too grim. Be a flawed human being in your private life...we all are...but public service needs to mean something. It shouldn't mean dicking around on reality tv earning £££s when people you serve struggle to pay bills. I'm done. #ImACeleb

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

I JUST GOT ACCEPTED!!!!! I'M GOING BACK TO UNI TO DO MASTERS! I WISH I COULD MAKE THESE LETTERS BIGGER TO CONVEY MY UTTER JOY!!!!!

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

I was meant to be in Turkey, but was warned it wasn't safe for me, so home. Happily, @British_Airways resold seats I cancelled weeks ago. Refusing to refund means they have a windfall of 2k! Of my money! Absolute pleasure guys! Least I can do after years of enjoying your napkins.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

Any chance you could clamp down on law enforcers raping and assaulting women? I'd say that would be more of a ratings winner.

Rishi Sunak

@RishiSunak

1 year

Before Christmas I promised to better support law enforcement to stop disruptive protests. Today, this government has delivered on that promise.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Had dog-poo bags on me so just picked dog poo off the pavement belonging to someone else's dog. It's so early, nobody saw me do it. What is the POINT of doing a good deed if nobody sees me do it??? I'm going to put it back.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

6 years

Because ‘Brit’ has rarely been spray painted on someone front garden just before dog shit is put in their letterbox.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

My girl (8): ‘Mummy I know it’s nice you’re in love and happy, but if you’re going to call him ‘sweetheart’ and darling, can you please do it in another room?’ Like I say, our home is pure Disney.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Sometimes I panic that I haven’t achieved much in my career. At these times I look at my kids and remember it is their fault, not mine so I relax and have ice cream.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

My daughter says ‘math’. So do her friends. ‘I’ve finished my math!’ It shouldn’t want to make me through the tv out of the window, but it does.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Patel was a fantastic matador to lure our attention and outrage away from the Johnson and Sunak. She did it in a blink. It's a cruel sport but it's their culture.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

And they're up. Some call it a lack of attention, I call it ART.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Ha! Just as he is trending, this pic of Acaster and my daughter popped up on my facebook. (My girl spent much of her babyhood being plonked on comedians at festivals so I could rest/drink) Babies know a good soul.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

6 years

Me with my ‘half-English’ kids. Rivers of blood? No babe, just love. #EnochPowell @BBCRadio4

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

‘Why should I pay for the fire service??? I’m not on fire!’ ….I saw @mrmarksteel do this joke in 1856 and it’s delightful to see it has stood the test of time and remains relevant to this day. #savethebbc

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

A very articulate, chatty Irish girl, Amber (aged 'very almost 4) struck up conversation with me on the train from Sheffield to Barnsley. Amber: 'My mummy has a name but I call her 'mummy' Me: 'I called MY Mum 'mummy' too.' Amber was FASCINATED: 'YOU have a MUMMY? Wow' 🤣❤️

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

My account was suspended! I had to delete a tweet from months ago when I called a far right person a naughty word. It was all very exciting. I’m back now 😇

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Has she brought back the death penalty yet? Kids up chimneys? The rack?

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Once again I've had to let go of her lead as we left park so she could run away from an off-lead massive unfriendly dog who went for her. She's only just healing from the last time!! If your dog has crap recall, or goes for dogs on leads...keep them on a blinking lead! 😩

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

THIS IS INCREDIBLE. Brave brave people. They know what they are risking. They can't arrest everyone, they can't kill everyone. Power to the strikers! #IranRevolution

Omid Djalili

@omid9

1 year

Oil workers in Iran walk out. Hugely brave. Unbelievably significant. #IranRevolution #Mahsa_Amini #IranProtests2022 #OpIran ‌‌ #NationalStrikes

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

My cute kitty

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

1 year

But the thought of him thinking what he did was 'normal' and 'just a laugh' became debilitating. I may write about it once its all over but to see up close just how sure they have to be to get a conviction before they prosecute, how it comes done to funding, well it's maddening.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

My daughter begged me tonight ‘mummy MAKE UP A STORY!’ So, I invented a little gang; Julian, Dick (‘you can’t say THAT mummy!’)Anne and George and Timmy the dog. I made up a glorious summer adventure where they picnicked and solved crimes. She fell asleep thinking I am a genius.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

Heat's off James Cordon for a bit

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

Oh I hope he knows we are all holding him in that moment. All the love. He’s got a beautiful, glorious life ahead of him. They all have.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

This evening I put two mattresses on our stairs, covering top to bottom. Kids and I spent a brilliant hour sliding down them. How much do you want a bet they’ll forget this but WILL remember the time I had a meltdown in Waitrose and threatened to leave them and move to Honolulu?

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

I’m jealous of football. I wish theatre got as much attention.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

Black dolls aren’t just for black kids. Kids don’t bat an eyelash if Prince Charming at panto is a black guy. Or if Cinderella is black. Everything is normal to kids unless their parents indicate otherwise #BlackLivesMatter

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

2 years

I honestly never thought the menopause would happen to ME because I've got good cheekbones, but here I am with zero sleep for two nights in a row, endlessly on bonkers period and crying because Lizzo is just so adorable.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

4 years

My dad came to visit yesterday. I told him my boy had said he wants to be a surgeon. My dad looked sad. Really sad. Me: ‘what’s the matter?’ Dad: *heavy sigh* ‘I just wish one of my grandchildren wanted to become a magician.’

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

Had sudden loss of a dear friend on the 7th...the man I spent my 20s deeply in love with. I got to see him in the chapel of rest to say goodbye. I’ve inherited his trademark leather jacket, his paintings and his hammer. I really needed this day of drinking with beloved friends.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

When Stephen Fry steps in, you know all of our work is done.

Stephen Fry

@stephenfry

3 years

@Digbylj You are everything linguists and true lovers of language despise. Also, since we’re being picky, you are not “Lord Digby Jones”, you are Digby, Lord Jones. There’s a world of difference. But however you’re titled, you disgrace the upper house with your misplaced snobbery

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

My point is, (I’m listening to @mrjamesob in this cab discussing #shamimabegum )The decision has told people like me that no matter how British we feel, how much we love our home, our belonging to it is conditional in a way it is not for others.

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

3 years

People have had sex with chocolate since advertising began. In my childhood it was a woman alone on a boat sucking off a flake. It did not confuse me. I did not grow up thinking I had to marry a boat.

Phil Hall

@PhilipH21343285

3 years

I am not Homophobic but I just think the New Cadbury Egg advert to be shown on ITV is totally unnecessary. Showing two men passionately enjoying a Cream egg that Children love to eat will only confuse children as such a young age. Why??

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Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی

@ShappiKhorsandi

5 years

Yes. This is true. I came out as Iranian 46 years ago. But what anyone who has ever looked past the end of their own nose can tell you, culture is a moving iceberg. Just as I have two parents, I also have two countries and cultures. Both are mine. I am lucky. You are a melon.

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