revamped version of the book i have been working on— a year’s worth of struggles with recovery, detailing the journey through at allegorical forest of a woman; jilted bride, witch, phoenix, victim and survivor.
(john william waterhouse’s “nymphs finding the head of orpheus”)
TW / rape
i was 17-18 when kabir singh came out. boys in my class talked about how they wanted to “pick” a girl “up” right in front of her family— it wasn’t fun to go the traditional route. when i argued, they told me women like me needed to be r/ped to set their minds straight.
fuckboys set their eyes on the sweetest girl, eldest daughter in a brown family, only focused on her career and goals w no time for love and decide “wow, i’m going to make her believe i’m the one for her and then slowly ruin her life till she is more avoidant than ever.”
this is what media like kabir singh and animal does. young girls suffer, young boys are told they’ll learn and grow— often at the expense of traumatising women. i can’t stress enough how livid i am watching this. there will be a surge in such sentiments, if there wasn’t already.
it is weirdly misogynistic that men can “experiment” with relationships and heartbreak and settle down w/o questions thrown their way. but for women it’s an inherent problem of “she will always love him” and her entire identity is tied to ONE man. y’all need to stop.
I feel a huge part of dee still loves ranbir, a part of her can never luv someone the way she loved him, the part that’s hidden cause hearing “move on” is easier than actually being able to. She’s prolly happy w another person, but again, you can never completely fall out of love
I was raised by a single mother in England.
I wouldn’t call my mother particularly nice or soft.
In fact - my mother was mean and hard.
I usually saw my dad about once a year when he would visit and I remember one time they had a MASSIVE argument.
was arguing with my mother and goes: "i have to think about everything i say to you now?" and i just snapped: "yes, you do think about the things you say to someone, especially those you love. i would never say anything to hurt you, and apologise if i did." and she just balked.
you’ve got to be fucking kidding me because what level of insensitive do you have to be to say this shit? the transphobia and the classism combo really punched the air out of my lungs.
it’s nice to have someone to come home to at the end of the day and talk and talk and talk about how stupid your day was, finish each others’ sentences and randomly send them a poem that reminds you of them.
hot take. it’s a red flag when a guy unnecessarily hates on artists that young women find solace in. are you criticising them because you think the music is shit or you ENJOY hating on stuff women like? disliking something is one thing but being violent abt that dislike is ??
when i was 13, yes you read that right, THIRTEEN in seventh grade i was harassed by my classmates who thought it was funny to compare me with m!a bcs of my glasses and inappropriately touch me. p0rn affects the psychology of young ppl and is inherently harmful.
He's barely a kid and he already has got his brain rotted in pornography
The scariest part is that who will face the consequences of this are the young girls who'll be in any contact with him. They'll be the ones who face trauma and harm in places which should be safe (ex school)
remembering when i went on a date with a psych major and we were discussing our past relationships, and suddenly he goes “you have an avoidant attachment style.”
girls literally wear this duplicate chikankaari kurti and baggy jeans witha 250 rupay ka jhola and put some chapri earrings and then say oh i love traditionals
personal experience se keh rahee houn ladies it’s better to just never believe in words and rather actions and NOT let any man make you believe that he is your saviour— you’re on your own kid, and you’ll do well.
we have our fair share of differences, but growing up my mother was a professor who worked full time and my father was a stay at home dad— he raised me, taught me how to walk, speak, read, play. this was super taboo in the early 2000s but he didn’t take any criticism from peers.
he smokes cigarettes on the balcony while reading the metamorphoses and mansplains it to her while she politely nods and thinks that he is the epitome of intellect (his personality is just movies and books glued together).
having a dysfunctional family and basically coming to terms with the fact that you can deal with your own baggage, but no one else, friends or lovers, will ever stay long enough to see your ruin. so it’s better to just keep it inside (:
i got a giant bouquet for my aunt’s bday for 800 PKR. the little bunch for my room next to it (yea i get myself flowers) for 250-300 PKR. you just need to learn how to bargain lol.
how many of you would be interested in joining a feminist reading circle if i started one during the winter or summer break? or just conversations around womanhood, patriarchy and gender in a safe space?
looking at my parents, and realising i've been so mad at them but they're here for the first time too. it's okay. they're learning to be better. my mother is my mother for the first time. i love her.
the way men react when you are their first love and keep tabs on you years later, and hit you up and destroy your peace (even when they’re committed) scares me so, SO much lmao. i don’t think i can trust men at all.
also idk if anyone else has experienced this but finding faith in your 20s after spending most of your teens not doing it is overwhelming. doing your own research, reading up on everything and finding a separate path from your family is like. overwhelming sometimes.
it’s so fucking insane being a pakistani woman because men can stay out for till midnight and you have to offer thousands of explanations as to why your advisor or boss held you back till FOUR. like i’m here rotting in an office, trust me i wish i was out there.
i’ve been crying over this for 10 minutes now. this country’s rulers have destroyed us, all of them, every single one of them want power. no one cares for the people of this nation.
fashion take:
is it just me or i really don’t get the entire ghazals and afsanas printed on kurtas and dupattas trend? 😭 like i have never seen any brand do it appropriately, just comes out looking overwhelming or super tacky.
reminder:
before you ask someone “why aren’t you fasting?” please remember they can have a multitude of issues. i struggle with post ostural tachycardia syndrome (comorbidity with my anorexia) and take inderal daily, my doctors barred fasting. health issues exist at any age.
i have things to say:
- why is khushhal khan in this???
- some people need to stop writing.
- for heaven’s sake who thinks this is attractive
- why didn’t you guys have a wattpad phase at 16 so this wouldn’t be considered literature
pakistani med schools are often a culmination of the most bigoted, horrendous, misguided individuals with god complexes who view healthcare as transactional and their patients as lab rats.
writing and posting the most heart wrenching based on this salman toor painting titled “a spring night in pakistan” tonight. i hope you all will enjoy.
@loveologian
i like to think as long as i am aware of the fact that none of the choices i actively make exist in a vacuum, and similarly, didn’t for the women before me, i can perhaps be more conscious of the choices i make…? but it still manages to leave me conflicted often.
universities are insane about their attendance (re: my university’s four attendance absence rule a semester, 2 leaves and 4 medical leaves). i shouldn’t be sitting in class when i can barely walk and the professor herself is concerned about me but sure.
you guys want a golden retriever until he starts acting like one. yes they’re crazy and slightly unhinged and cute! and it’s fun when you’re crazier and you see the fear in their eyes for the first time!
since we are having conversations around weight, let’s talk about how nice people were to me when i was at the peak of my anorexia and asking me for weight loss tips while shaming me when i was at a healthy weight. how i’m in recovery but still get stopped to ask how i am—
capitalism has literally destroyed us. kinnaird is right next to SIMS and an old man, worried, came to the restaurant we were eating at. he was obviously distressed about medication bills— the staff started harassing him and pushing him outside till… (1/3)
yk this made me so happy, actually. she’s a happy young bacha enjoying her life and i hope nothing ever dims her life and happiness or makes her feel like she is too much.
it won’t be a situationship if you had boundaries and told the man to fuck off. i’ve seen beautiful, intelligent women settle for nonsensical things because they think the dude will change over time. stop fucking blaming women.
? i want my man to be emotionally vulnerable with me and share his emotions and be as comfortable as possible? relationships are equal i wouldn’t be w someone if he was condescending and didn’t show vulnerability.
hello! this is a mini thread of resources i used for my ielts prep— i actually spent 15 hours studying for it. i used mock tests you get as a part of the computerised test. also a few exercise books— they’re linked in the thread below this tweet.
i look at pakistan and it makes me sad that it’s unsafe for me to travel alone beyond sundown, i can’t take public transport without fearing harassment or worse, i can’t eat out a restaurant at late hours of the night and enjoy myself or walk home alone at night.
id love to know how many pakistani women of any ethnicity can:
- smoke a cigarette w men in the streets of the major metropolitan cities
- be at ease while travelling in rickshaws and taxis
- ride motorbikes long distance w/o harassment
- feel safe in male dominated spaces
She's a pathological liar
There are good & bad people everywhere in the world, you'll find creeps & perverts in every country of the world but to only malign 3 countries shows ur disingenuous
No woman should be traveling alone due to safety concerns anywhere in the world
this is laughable for me. you guys take anyone doing a humanities degree and go generational wealth. no, i spent 5 years in pre med, got into med school, and quit because i was unhappy and wanted to do something fruitful. sorry you didn’t. maybe you’d not be so sour then.
took my mom out to get her hair done and spend the day getting ready. honestly it takes me so much convincing to make her understand that before she is my mom she is also a person and deserves all the time in the world for herself— motherhood is not supposed to be martyrdom.
MOST OF THESE PROTESTORS ARE WOMEN. CHILDREN. ELDERLY.
they are marching for their brothers, fathers, husbands and friends that have been unlawfully abducted. THIS is the state’s hegemony. and they dare question the protestors “tumharey mardd kahan hain?” pathetic.
socha thaa sleeveless kurtey pe kashmiri shawl daal leti houn achi lagoun gee (courtesy of deepika in YJHD). i just looked homeless and three of my professors asked me if i wanted to go home 😭
except barbie did not explicitly tell ken that he has a “big pelvis” to “accommodate healthy kids” followed by “you forgave me for so much bloodshed, forgive me for having sex outside our marriage too.”
the roman empire or the egyptian civilisation? no. my fixation as a child was the indus valley civilisation. i begged my parents to take me to harappa (they never did).
i’m turning really bitter bcs the girl who was doing my henna asked why i’m not getting a design of choice like everyone and i went “kahan umer hai abb inn cheezoun ki, shouk nahee rahaa” and she was like you’re so YOUNG 😭
I LOVE ROMCOMS. i love fantasising about a love i can never experience in an inherently patriarchal society so i delude myself through watching others experience it! i am miserable!