Even if my wife makes me promise to save our unborn child in a complicated delivery situation, I’m definitely saving her. If the baby’s first action when coming to this world is to try to kill my woman, then it’s definitely bad vibes and i don’t want it.
I noticed my dad has been extra happy for a while, I asked him why and he said “For the first time in over 25 years, I don’t have to think of school fees for 4 of you in January. I’ve lived my life for you guys all these years, it’s time to live it for me and your mother.”🥺❤️
Dating someone with emotional intelligence is very important. Imagine struggling with something and meeting your partner and all he/she has to say is “hmmmm it’s well”.
I slept off at my guy’s apartment last night and he didn’t wake me up to go home. I asked him why this morning and he said he grew up in a household that do not wake people up when they’re sleeping unless it’s an emergency. I didn’t know this was a thing.🤣🤣
This woman’s baby almost threw my MacBook on the floor and she’s saying “Zarah if you damage uncle’s laptop he’ll be angry with you”. Angry with who?? Madam, walahi talahi you’ll buy me a new one. Just dey play.
This guy complained to me that his performance in bed dropped and he doesn’t last anymore and he’s really worried. I asked him how long he lasts now when thrusting and he said 20 - 25 minutes. Out of curiosity, I asked how long he normally lasts and he said 1 hour. EXCUSE ME????
These guys are the only cereal company that actually cares about their customers. See how full and compressed it is. You’ll always get your money’s worth with them.❤️
My guy and i went to have lunch and we met my dad eating at the restaurant . I greeted him and i asked the waiter to add his bill to mine. After i was done eating, I asked for my bill and the waiter told me that my dad paid for his food and ours before leaving.🥹❤️
I’ve stayed alone for the past 3.5 years and with utmost certainty I can tell you that living on your own is magic. It teaches you responsibility, discipline, importance of freedom. You sleep in blissful silence. Everything you put in the fridge is still there when you get home,…
Dated this girl that cheated, she cried so much that I forgave her and asked her to cut all contact with him. I found out that she was still talking to him and her excuse was that he’s an interesting guy and she’ll be bored if she cuts contact with him. Women have mad audacity.
Speed darlington posted a video of a girl grinding him in the club and people who know her have identified her. She sent him a dm begging him to take it down before it gets to her family, because she’s supposed to be in school. He said no because “you were with a super star”😭😭
My uncle has been paying his son’s school fees to study medicine in a private uni for 7 good years and he had no idea that he wasn’t in school all these while. The boy rented an apartment in PH and was squandering millions of naira. He just found out and he’s so heartbroken.🤦🏾
I pray you get that:
• Dream Job
• Promotion
• Scholarship
• Healthy relationship
• Weight gain/loss
• Mental wellness
• Apartment
• Car
• Good news
• Big break
you've been praying for.
Me : The drugs will cost you 14,700. Should i print your invoice?
Woman : Okay…hold on let me make a call. Babe I’m with the pharmacist right now, he said the cost of the drugs is 30k. And he said I must start my treatment today. I can give him the phone if you want.
Me :
I ordered for a ride and the bolt driver said “bro shey you know this place you’re going to from your location is very close? It’s very trekkable” i told him i was aware and he said “okay o, rich kid I’m coming”.🤣
The most scary and unfortunate thing about having a cheating partner is that you can literally be minding your business while living your life responsibly and they’ll infect you with an incurable disease. They’ll ruin your life unprovoked.
I know I’ve said this before but first time i saw pa Pete Edochie, it was in 2017. I walked into the reception of G-Towers hotel owerri and was sagging. He was on a call but he still called me and asked why i was sagging, i didn’t know what to say to him. He said “pull it up…
The amount of money I spend on buying ribena in a month is crazy tbh. Funny thing is that I don’t drink any, i use it to bribe kids to take their injection and medications. I gave this kid one so he’ll take his Injection and he asked for 2 more for his brothers.😭😭
Marriage is a beautiful institution and mine won’t be different. I’ll get it right, I’ll grow old with my partner and we’ll raise polite and well mannered children that love God.
I wish this Election was like Nigerian film. Once they want to call manipulated results, thunder will strike. The person will run mad, the other INEC members will be shouting I’m innocent, I’m innocent!!! Then they’ll start shouting I’ll confess, I’ll confess.😪
Patient: Pharm is this Peter Obi’s speech a live broadcast?
Me: yes it is.
Patient: I just heard him asking people to vote, vote for what?
Me: The gubernatorial elections happening on the 11th of this month.
Patient: Oh, he’s contesting to become governor?
Me:
This guy has become a n!ghtmare to skin care brands and i love it. He gave this big brand on instagram 2 hours to put out a statement acknowledging that they don’t have a NAFDAC number and they did. Omo!🤯🤣😂
This why we need financial fair play in the dating pool. This babe looks like it’s her first time of experiencing that kind of pampering and treatment. If she’s in a relationship, how she wan dey look her boyfriend now?😂
Every year, i get to celebrate my birthday with the woman who gave me life. It’s a blessing I’ll always be grateful for. Happy birthday to mother and son.❤️😍
If you have started saving this year, don't put old naira notes inside this. You will forget and think you have money by December. The thing just enter my mind I say make I remind una.
Man: Are you the pharmacist?
Me: Yes i am.
Man: Can we see you privately?
Me: Ofcourse
Man : She just ran a test and found out that she’s pregnant.
Me: Okay, congrats
Woman: No pls, i don’t want to keep it.
Man: That’s why we’re here. What are we going to do about it?
Me:
This is the 3rd time these boys are playing their ball into my compound today. I’m struggling not to be that “wicked uncle” i hated so much growing up.😑😕
Now I really understand why igbo people always like to marry themselves and why it always takes extra pleading, effort and convincing for youths to convince their igbo parents to let them marry people who aren’t igbo. Our parents weren’t ignorant and unwise after all.
This is my problem with using ankara fabrics to sew native. I’m seated in church and this babe comes to seat beside me wearing the same fabric. Now we’re looking like a couple in matching outfit.🥴
Some men are very disgraceful tbh. How can you embarrass someone like this because of 12k??? I feel so sorry for this lady. See the kind of humiliation she went through because she chose to hang out with a useless man. Smh