Em @DrEm_79 Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Em

@DrEm_79

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806

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Mental health. Running. | Award winning speaker, writer and advisor on lived experience of mental illness | Day job is elsewhere.

Probably out running

https://t.co/kDzxJf6Fvn

Joined March 2015

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@DrEm_79

Em

5 years

Four years ago today at this time I walked out of court. I had been released on bail after being arrested for being suicidal. I was charged with breach of the peace and wasting police time, even though there was no one else in danger and no disruption to the public.

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@DrEm_79

Em

7 years

When I was caught up in a terrorist incident 4yrs ago, the behaviour of UK media made the trauma much worse. They don't seem to have changed

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Em

7 years

News orgs need to consider their role in creating PTSD. There is evidence on this. Part of the trauma is caused in the aftermath by response

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2 years

Twenty years ago, I was sectioned in hospital on the day my A levels finished. I lost my place at Oxbridge. Today I’m back as an invited guest at the University that withdrew my place, being paid to give specialist lectures. For anyone else who is where I was - it can get better.

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Em

7 years

In the face of terror, people suffer, but are strong. Emergency services and others are incredible. Media could help, rather than traumatise

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7 years

Journalists and editors for news orgs need to better understand trauma, and their potential role in creating PTSD after traumatic events.

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7 years

After a terrorist incident we don't need to see people bleeding and crying to know that they hurt. They need help and support, not intrusion

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7 years

Seen 'journalists' from major news orgs outside hospital waiting to interview people leaving. Asking witnesses for more and more detail.

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7 years

I said I wasn't going to list, but people asked. After being victim of terrorism, news orgs: - Hacked my FB - Turned up on my mum's doorstep

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Em

5 years

PhD thesis ready for submission. Quite a journey. Four years ago I was in the burns unit then intensive care because of severe untreated OCD. Then I was arrested and prosecuted for being suicidal. I lost everything. I even lost my thesis because of OCD. It’s good to be here today

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Em

7 years

None of that is helpful. There's also evidence graphic coverage of terror can create PTSD in people who weren't even there. It helps no one.

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7 years

Editors codes need to include behaviour around responsible reporting of major incidents. Intrusive demands can worsen harm to individuals.

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Em

7 years

I grew up in Manchester. It's strong. People will come together and support. In contrast, behaviour of some media today is deeply concerning

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7 years

They were appalling. It was beyond intrusive. It worsened the trauma and stopped me being able to access support I needed at the time.

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Em

7 years

- Repeatedly called and doorstepped by mum before she knew that I was ok - Repeatedly called the emergency number at hospital where I worked

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Em

7 years

I'm not going to re-list all of the things media did to me and my family and workplaces to try to get a 'story' after the terrorist incident

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7 years

- Turned up at my work, and when receptionist told them I was unable speak to them, printed a story about how I was too traumatised to talk

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7 years

- Turned up at my house, for days - Called my phone so much that I had to switch it off, and couldn't access support from my real friends

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7 years

- called elderly relatives who didn't even know that I was abroad and told them that I had been caught up in a terrorist incident

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7 years

- Repeatedly called a mental health Helpline where I volunteered, on the emergency number - Used personal FB accounts to try to friend me

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7 years

- kept asking me for 'more colour' for the 'story', when all I could see in my mind was a pavement running with blood.

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7 years

- took pictures of me in public places for days after - used coercive techniques to get a story - if you give us an interview we'll stop

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Em

4 years

I passed my PhD viva. When I started a PhD alongside work I wasn’t expecting to spend years in and out of ITU and burns units. Or to be arrested, prosecuted and lose my job for being suicidal because I couldn’t get help for OCD. Relieved to be here. With help, it can get better

@DrEm_79

Em

5 years

PhD thesis ready for submission. Quite a journey. Four years ago I was in the burns unit then intensive care because of severe untreated OCD. Then I was arrested and prosecuted for being suicidal. I lost everything. I even lost my thesis because of OCD. It’s good to be here today

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Em

7 years

Then, after a week, they dropped it, the 'stories' moved on. I was left with memories, intrusion, without having been able to access support

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7 years

They got my phone no from work by pretending to be a friend. At a time when I needed support, and to trust others, they made that impossible

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7 years

It also left me unable to trust what was real. Journalists had called and messaged pretending to be people who they weren't to get info.

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Em

4 years

I’m going to say it: Hospital staff: you’re doing an incredible job. We are grateful. PLEASE STOP CLAPPING PEOPLE BEING WHEELED OUT OF INTENSIVE CARE. Everyone else: if you’ve shared a video of this and think it’s just a feel good thing, I understand why, but I’ll explain..

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7 years

Media reporting/techniques made my trauma worse. They made it harder for me to access support and help, and caused pain for those around me.

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@DrEm_79

Em

7 years

There's info @DartCenter on responsible reporting and trauma HT @vaughanbell

Trauma & Journalism: A Practical Guide

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Em

5 years

In a city I was last in 22years ago for a University interview. I was offered a place but lost it because the day I finished A levels I was admitted to ICU with complications from life threatening mental health problems, then got sectioned for a year. This week I’m lecturing here

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Em

4 years

PhD award letter arrived today. No ceremony due to COVID but having a wee celebration with my dog. Started the PhD 9yrs ago alongside work, never expecting ITU, resus, burns units, arrests and prosecution when I was suicidal. Glad to be alive. Thanks to dog and amazing friends 🎉

@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

I passed my PhD viva. When I started a PhD alongside work I wasn’t expecting to spend years in and out of ITU and burns units. Or to be arrested, prosecuted and lose my job for being suicidal because I couldn’t get help for OCD. Relieved to be here. With help, it can get better

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6 years

It’s weird to be writing this. I didn’t expect to be here today. A month ago, I felt I had to end my life. After >30years of mental health problems, I’d lost hope. I hadn’t told anyone. I thought I was too broken to help, and telling people would be burdening them. I was wrong.

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

I don’t know whether this will help anyone, but as a person who has lived through previous pheumonitis and respiratory distress, as well as ICU, ventilation, and at times staff wearing PPE all around me, I wanted to share some things for mental health professionals to consider:

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@DrEm_79

Em

3 years

Mental health professionals: please don’t tell me you find me “brave” or “inspiring” when I tell you what was done to me and how I survived it. Please instead tell me what you’re going to do. And how you’ll make sure what was done to me will never happen to anyone on your watch.

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3 years

All these takes on Nikki’s death telling people with eating disorders that “help is out there” If you’re about to RT one, stop. Which do you think is better for someone feeling desperate with a chronic ED? 1. Being gaslight and told there’s help where there isn’t 2. Listening

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4 years

Having spoken to many people who are suicidal, and having lost many friends. I need to say something really difficult. I hope that the caring people in suicide research and mental health services have the right support and supervision themselves to pause for one minute to listen

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4 years

I’m going to say it. People are being put at risk by the way people with experience of mental health problems and attempted suicide are expected to tell their stories. There is pressure to have a neat ending. For people to be rescued by any help they had. To not need help again.

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3 years

It was all: “it’s ok to not be ok” until I had a serious mental illness, self harmed, and tried to end my life. Then I got arrested, prosecuted, and was told my illness was disgraceful professional conduct. It’s not just stigma. It’s actual discrimination we need to address.

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4 years

Mental health professional jargon translator: “She might be suicidal but she has capacity” = I don’t have skills to help, and I don’t understand capacity “Family/carer is over-involved” = someone actually cares for this patient “It’s behavioural” = I don’t want to help them

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5 years

People: Talk more about your mental health Me: I have OCD People: Come clean my bathroom Me: OCD not cleaning. I’m terrified of contamination. While trying to decontaminate I caused myself life threatening injuries People: Me: People: Not that sort of talking #mentalhealth

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5 years

Four years ago I spent both Christmas and New Year in intensive care after trying to end my life. This year I'm feeling grateful to the strangers who kept me alive that week, and to the friends who stuck with me through tough times, and helped me to find hope again.

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4 years

@MelMBab Yes, remind friends to check in Yes, with consent involve family Yes, share helplines But also -Provide emergency mental health care -Prevent crises by access to effective help -Fund wraparound support for social issues Friends and family can’t do it all

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8 years

Suicide and self harm are often misunderstood. People who self harm are at 50-100 times greater risk of suicide

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4 years

Mental health staff saying “it’s behavioural” about a patient in distress indicates: a. They do not like the patient b. They feel it’s acceptable to communicate this c. They blame the patient d. They think they can legitimise this by disguising it in pseudo-clinical-language

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Em

5 years

People say asking for help when you have a mental health problem is the hardest thing. But asking for help and being repeatedly turned away without help because you don’t fit arbitrary mental health services criteria is even harder. *The help needs to be there* #mentalhealth

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@DrEm_79

Em

6 months

Nine years ago I spent Christmas Day in intensive care after trying to end my life. Thank you to all those working in prehospital care, A&E resus and ITU today. I wouldn’t be here without people like you. Spending today volunteering on a crisis line. You gave me time to give back

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3 years

Wore a T-shirt on a train for the first time in many years. I have severe burn scarring and have worn long sleeves for about ten years. A couple on the platform pointed. The man said: “that’s disgusting” I managed to smile and say: “sorry to hear that, it was ok until just now”

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5 years

Seen professionals’ tweets unpleasantly close to shaming people about exercise and mental health “Jog more and you’ll be fixed!” So, for avoidance of doubt. Although I love running and it helps me: I run 2500-5000miles a year I still have mental health problems #mentalhealth

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

Five years ago at this time I was on a ventilator in intensive care after trying to end my life. Tonight I’m working, and tomorrow volunteering for a charity. It can get better. But I needed the right mental health help. We need to make sure the right help is there for everyone

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6 years

A year ago this month my compassionate, creative, brilliant friend died by suicide. She had done everything we tell people to do. She had talked. She had asked for help. We need to do more than tell people to talk. We need to make sure the right help is there, when people ask.

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4 years

Surviving critical illness isn’t complete when you’re wheeled out of intensive care. That’s just the start of a road that can be long, hard, and isolating. Setting people off on that as though victorious sets them up for a horrible crash. It totally misunderstands what it’s like.

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

If the clapping is for staff, to encourage and help them, can we just be honest about that? It’s still an important thing, but why bring patients into it if it might harm them? There are other ways to celebrate good work and good outcomes that don’t cause patient harm.

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Em

5 years

I never got to tell them, but those acts of kindness from him, the forensic psych, the solicitor, ITU doctor and GP probably saved my life. As I started to think about what was happening the more I thought, the more it felt society needed me to die, they were the counter to that.

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@DrEm_79

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4 years

For the people messaging telling me to stop talking about abuse in mental health care because “you’ll stop people asking for help” Abusive practice stops people asking for help. If you care you’ll care what happens to them when they ask I’ll stop talking when it stops happening

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Em

5 years

Thank you to the kind people who have messaged asking if I’m ok tonight. I have amazing friends looking out for me and I’m off to deal with this in the way that I deal with things that I don’t know how to. I’m taking it running.

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4 years

How do you think it is for the families of people who have died in intensive care seeing other patients being clapped out and those videos being shared so many times? What does that say about their loved one? That this is about effort and they didn’t try hard enough? It’s awful.

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6 years

If someone has been unwell or in mental health crisis, one of the hardest times can be when things seem a bit better. They might only then realise how bad things were, see how much there is to rebuild, or have the ability to act on plans. It can be then that people need support.

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Em

4 years

Survivor guilt is common after intensive care too. I saw people around me die when I was in intensive care. People like me. When I left I didn’t know why I had survived and they hadn’t and had enormous guilt as many people do. The last thing I needed was clapping.

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6 years

Concerned at the moment to see people working in mental health, particularly in research and policy, framing ‘resilience’ as being the opposite of mental health problems. e.g. things similar to: ‘Increase young people’s resilience to reduce demand on mental health services’

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3 years

A good friend died a few days ago. They had been unwell with serious mental health problems for so long and had done so much to try to get help. Please can we all do what we can to make mental health care effective and available to everyone for as long as they need it?

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3 years

Today someone reminded me of the time I was at hospital with self harm, unwell with OCD, and a mental health nurse said to me: “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve seen. No man will want you looking like that” Abusive responses to people who self harm are still far too common

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@DrEm_79

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4 years

Why are patients being put in this position? Can you imagine during a time of critical illness and extreme vulnerability, having to tell staff not to clap you out? How hard that is? (and not to record you and upload it somewhere). Who is the clapping actually for?

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4 years

-Being ventilated, aware, in pain, terrified and trying to communicate but not being able to is something I’ll never forget. No one in mental health services has ever asked me about traumatic experiences of treatment. We need to consider and anticipate what people may need.

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5 years

Fortunately the kindness from some people continued too. The solicitor, despite having put a lot more hours in that he would often have needed to, hugely undercharged me on his fee. I tried to pay him what the full amount would have been but he wouldn’t accept it.

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4 years

It’s hard to imagine being more vulnerable than in intensive care. How can people only just well enough to step down to another ward give genuine consent to something like clapping and being recorded and it being uploaded on the internet? Can you imagine how hard it is to say no?

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@DrEm_79

Em

5 years

The message here is give people the right help for mental health problems. I almost died and lost so much because I couldn’t get help. All that loss was preventable. With some help life is ok again. People had given up on me. I was just lucky a few people didn’t. #mentalhealth

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@DrEm_79

Em

5 years

Finished. London marathon has the best supporters in the world. #londonmarathon

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

Unfamiliar things in intensive care can make delirium worse. Delirium can be like torture. Why would we do something as weird and disorientating as clapping someone out of an intensive care unit if their wellbeing was actually our first concern?

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

Went to the shop. These were on sale.

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5 years

Please don’t confuse your medical degree with arrogance that obscures the privilege of patients coming to you for help. A degree and training should place you in a good position to listen to patients bringing you a lifetime of experience. Mutual trust doesn’t start like this.

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Em

4 years

If you’ve never been in intensive care I’ll spare you all the horrible details and focus. I’ve been an intensive care patient quite a few times, it’s an incredibly disorientating place. Hallucinations, confusion, delirium and PTSD are all common among intensive care patients.

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@DrEm_79

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3 years

We need to be more honest with people about the reality of asking for mental health help. It isn’t fair or helpful or safe to pretend that things are so different from reality.

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

Has anyone asked people who have experienced psychological, physical and sexual trauma in childhood whether they want to be asked what happened to them over and over and over again in every public service they come across for the rest of their life? #pleasemakeitstop

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3 years

“I’m a bit OCD” = someone doesn’t understand mental health. [TW self harm/OCD] Things that happened because of my OCD: -deleting an entire thesis -attempting self-surgery -full thickness burns Things that did not happen: -a little extra cleaning -orderly arrangement of pencils

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4 years

I’ve only ever written fragments about what happened in the mental health hospitals and eating disorder units I was detained in as a child in the 1990s. I always felt I needed to protect people. This week someone asked me if I had and I’ve been thinking since about why I should.

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4 years

I am aware I do have mental health I have a severe mental health problem too What I don’t have, and what I’ve been waiting for or excluded from for many years, is access to effective, safe, respectful mental health care We need a lot more than awareness #WorldMentalHealthDay

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4 years

Controversial opinion: Sending someone in as the *healthcare* response to someone who has self harmed whose skills start with “have a bath” and finish with “snap an elastic band instead” is like sending someone in to do a central line because they can use a fork. Skills matter

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Em

4 years

I’ve been denied mental health help for being not sick enough And for being too sick Also for being: -unwell in the wrong way -unwell in the wrong postcode -unwell with two conditions -too young -too old -too high risk of dying soon And for not having had the right help before

@adamfare1996

Adam Fare 🖤🤍💜

4 years

Who’s been denied help for their mental health due to not being “sick enough”? We have those in power denying it’s an issue, time for us to tell our truth.

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@DrEm_79

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5 years

Hospital staff, police, ambulance, others: Please do not tweet photos of unwell or vulnerable people for self promotion. Even if the photos have faces obscured, the person’s back turned, mostly feature their pet, whatever. It’s the worst day of their life, not a PR opportunity

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@DrEm_79

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4 years

@EmergMedDr Crying doesn’t mean you aren’t resilient. Resilience (for all its many flaws) isn’t never being affected by stuff, it’s about adaptation and recovery back to a place of functioning after being affected. Anyone with humanity doing your job right now would be affected by this.

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Em

4 years

A basic principle in medical ethics is thinking about benefits and harms to the patient of any intervention we do. For the intervention of clapping, what are the possible health benefits someone might experience from being clapped out and videoed? Do they justify the harm?

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3 years

Relative who has lived with severe and enduring mental illness for decades has been sectioned. The ward confiscated their phone: “it’s policy” On calling the ward phone, the nurse states that my relative is “not allowed phone calls” Why are mental health wards still like this?

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2 years

I’m watching #panorama . Some of the abuse, particularly the violence and degradation, is like a ward I was on in Scotland. If this has been done to you, I believe you. It shouldn’t take those of us who have survived it to work for change, but while I can, I will. @BBCPanorama

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4 years

I can guess why we don’t talk about it. There are a lot of reasons why. The risk factor is the effect of the person of having been told they need to ask for help, and help will be there, followed by the experience of asking for help and help not being there.

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5 years

The psychiatrist had spent two days reading my notes. The fee for all this for the report would have been around £5K. I was prepared to get a loan to pay but after reading my notes and the court reports he told my solicitor he was going to act pro bono for me.

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5 years

The prosecution was over, but the harm from it all wasn’t. That’s still there today as I’m typing this and crying.

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4 years

My amazing friend has just spent a week in intensive care with COVID. On leaving to go to a ward they had to tell staff they could not clap them out. They had been through hell but were left “feeling like they had kicked a puppy” when they declined (have their permission to post)

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4 years

It’s not easy to say this. The longer I spend witnessing the way people who self harm or attempt suicide are treated by mental health services the more I think that the attitude and behaviour of some healthcare staff is one of the most urgent problems in mental health care.

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6 years

The hardest and slowest marathon I’ve ever done, but very grateful to people who believed I could do it, because up until a couple of hours ago I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t run a mile three weeks ago. It’s very good to be back #londonmarathon

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4 years

-SARS-CoV-2 isn’t just going to impact mental health through population anxiety, distancing, and quarantine. Though those are important, people who are unwell with COVID-19 and hospitalised will need help too. -Being in the ICU has a huge effect on mental health if you survive it

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3 years

Some people have been asking about why I’ve been away from here for a while. I wasn’t sure if I was going to speak about why, but I’ve realised some things are better exposed to the light.

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4 years

-This effect that ICU has on mental health is not matched by the support available after ICU. Often there is no psychological support available after ICU. -Being ventilated in ICU, and multiple failed attempts to wean as seems may be the case with COVID-19 can be very frightening

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5 years

But it wasn’t me making the calls. It was mental health services, the crisis house, the hospital, and health agencies. They were ‘concern for welfare’ calls because I didn’t have the right mental healthcare and treatment and rather than fix that, it was getting shifted to police.

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4 years

-Damage to my lungs changed my life but I’ve never received any rehab and there’s a strong sense if I try to talk that I should just be grateful to be alive. Adjustment to life after illness and changes to identity are not easy. Psychological support can be preparing now.

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5 years

I have a mental illness. This isn’t because I ignore ‘looking after mental health’ advice. In fact, I: -Volunteer -Run (~13miles/day) -Meditate -Call friends -Eat vegan -Learn about MH (to PhD) -Take baths -Drink water -Work *Some* help. None fixed or prevented my illness.

@AshCurryOcd

Ash

5 years

For some , looking after ones “mental health” doesn’t necessarily prevent a mental illness from happening.

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

-People who have lived with severe OCD with fear of disaster and contamination and harm, or with severe anxiety, know how these can contribute to loss of hope, fear of future, and suicidality. We need to be aware that many more people may be suicidal because of what is happening.

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Em

3 years

Why does it feel like a special occasion if someone in mental health services believes you?

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@DrEm_79

Em

6 years

If you know someone who is struggling, they may need help they can’t ask for. Letting them know they aren’t a burden, being there, listening, and not giving up, might make enough difference to help them find a way through.

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@DrEm_79

Em

4 years

The individual impact of asking for help and help not being there when suicidal can be profound. It can lead to a catastrophic loss of hope at a time when hope is depleted. It can lead to profound shame. It can alter future behaviour around help seeking. It leaves people trapped.

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@DrEm_79

Em

5 years

I know someone else from my city who this happened to. They were remanded to prison because the court felt they were at such high risk of suicide and mental health services had declined to help. She spent two weeks in prison, and killed herself not long after.

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