@DonovanTurney
I will pay you 250,000 dollars to literally bolt me into a coffin that got built under a sycamore tree in someone’s front yard and I would like you to take me 10,000 feet under the ocean.
-Aristotle
I would have went WILD with a Sears catalog in 1928
Lemme get 2 flush toilets, that house kit, couple of Thompsons, a BAR, 50k of .45, 20k of 06, and a leather aviators helmet
Mini opens lemonade stand
My cost:
3 bags of lemons @ 2.98
5 lbs of sugar 3.14
Foam cups 2 packs @ 2.32
2 bags of ice from sonic @ 3.99
24.70
He has refused to payback his small business loan
Eco-activists in Germany used a concrete and epoxy resin mixture to glue their hands to the asphalt in protest. Tragically, the consequences may require potential amputation of their hands😳
@radicaleb
@StevenTDennis
Seriously? That post is a year old and I only posted it because I had just discovered and was surprised that anyone can by a fucking sniper rifle. But if you want to be a smart ass and talk about the affordability of it that’s fine. But again it’s an old post but you do you
Look. All I am saying is that dude had all the opportunity to boot this guy right in the dome.
You let him set the ladder, climb the ladder, biff you, and then brick your sliding door?
YOU HAD THE HIGH GROUND AND WERE DEFEATED.
Less filming, more application of energy
(I am going straight to hell for this one)
I asked a man why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment”.
Very seriously, I told the him, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
Both of these trucks have the same length bed.
One is illegal to buy new in the US because of 'safety'.
The other is the leading cause of the 59% rise in pedestrian fatalities annually on US roads since 2009.
Feds can ping every cell phone in DC and show up at your door 8 days later and tell you what you had for lunch on March 2nd 1989 but can’t narrow down who left a bag of marching powder in the WH.
Ok bro. Just piss on my boots and tell me it’s raining
Being a dude can be incredibly lonely and sad.
News at 11 I guess.
Wanna make friends with other dudes?
A. Start digging a hole
B. Set something on fire
This is really sad. Trans man realizes how hard it is to be a man when you’re really a woman.
Males and females are different and no matter what you do to your body, you can’t be the opposite sex.
*Phone rings*
PHI how may I direct your call?
-sobbing
PETROLEUM HELICOPTERS HOW MAY I HELP YOU SIR?
- I broke it
what are you talking about
-the 92, I hit a bridge and there’s shit everywhere
JESUS FUCK
*secretary smashes red button, awoogahs go off
CODE FUCK
Yes. You should most definitely use 12g slugs for home defense.
Because fuck everything in that house, the neighbors house, and that orphanage down the street
Yesterday parts of the US south experienced wetbulb temperatures up to 94F (34.5C). At these temperatures, no amount of shade or hydration can save you. Without AC, you die. And this is just the beginning.
🚨🇺🇸 AOC AND MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE FIGHT IN CONGRESS
AOC: “She has to apologize”
MTG: “I’m not apologizing. Why don’t you debate me?”
AOC: “That’s self-evident”
MTG: “Yeah, you don’t have enough intelligence.”
MTG: "Are your feelings hurt? Aww."
AOC: "Oh, girl. Baby girl,
I even bought suits for all the groomsmen and had them tailored.
FREE SUIT DEMP.
And then she decided to have seggs with half of Baldwin County while I was offshore
I see you Jodie.
Everyone hates Jodie
GM Finance Controller of UCADA, Shri Jitendra Kumar Saini, got caught by the tail rotor of an aircraft at Kedarnath helipad. He unwittingly walked into the tail rotor. According to the sources, He went across with the intention of taking a selfie.
RIP🙏, very sad and unfortunate.
My license finally expires this month
15 years
Many fingers and hands that suicided in front of hammers, more than enough diabetic emergencies because people eat like shit and don’t take care of themselves, a few cardiacs, a couple three “oh shit he fell off that”
Good run
1996-2000 was truly the golden age
Music was awesome
The girls all smelled like cucumber melon and wore they draws out they pants
Cigarettes were cheap
Beer was cheap
The parties were lit
It’s that time of year again! If you haven’t yet (I did weeks ago lol), you’ll probably be turning on that AC this week. Tonight on
#KAKENews
, we’ll explain why govt recommends 82 at night, and 85 when you leave 😳🙅🏼♂️ What do YOU set it at?
My grandfather once decided it was an excellent idea to stick the barrel of a shotgun in a yellow jacket nest and pull the trigger “the concussion will kill them”
I watched a 60 year old man run a sub 4 second 40 that day.
No bullshit. If you’re cool and not a fed. And you decide you want to come down to God’s Country? Just lemme know.
You got a place to stay, and we shall drink many cold beers, and enjoy delicious food stuffs.
BREAKING: Activision will add real time in-game voice chat moderation in Call of Duty. AI powered detection will work in-game to listen and report rule breaking issues automatically.
It’s live today in MWII and Warzone in NA and expands worldwide with MW3. Here’s the details:
My hate for woke clergy who just poop all over like 2000 years of clearly established canon is a real thing.
Quit catering to people who don’t give 2 actual shits about God and Jesus.
“But no you see Jesus was…
Ima need you to shut the fuck up. You’re in crusading distance
While cutting the grass I found the following items spread through the yard:
-my axe
-2 hatchets
-a shovel
-a boomerang
-a bb rifle
-1 flashlight
He’s planning something…
You actually think I want to work offshore until I am 60? Lmfaoooo
I legit had a plan. I had enough ducats in the bank to where I could hang up the hardhat and steel toes at 50.
And then you fucking cocksuckers got upset about the flu.
And I watched everything go to shit.
If you think that I would not commit unspeakable acts of violence with a smile upon my face for my little dude?
I will disabuse you of that notion rather quickly.
I hate spending money with a passion. But I am pleased with my purchase. This is dope. Not too big to be a pain in the ass and drop the mileage on my truck to 8 MPG. But got AC, a queen bed, hot shower, and a shitter.
This ain’t too bad fam
Let it be known that while I stole back one patch. He still owns:
-1 helmet
-like 3 LBEs
-My tomahawk
-7 of my lighters
-A plate carrier with plates
-73 of the patches and stickers that you have all sent me
-At least 4 of my knives
-approximately 234 flashlights
KING
Bro my ex wife had a masters, tremendous student debt, you know what her actual job was?
That heifer worked at a Vet clinic for like 9.00 an hour.
(Should have never bought that hoe some tiddies)
1/ *ring ring
Louisville Metro PD, how may I direct your call?
-gimme the fucking chief
Sir…
-this is Mayor Greenberg, put the Chief on the fucking phone
Chief…mayor on line 1
“Fire can’t melt steel beams”
Please look up South Pass 60. A bunch of people died and they put up a fucking plaque with their names on it.
One of my homies listened to the radio calls for help and it fucks him up to this day.
So essentially? Fuck all the way off. Forever.
Drug cartels from Mexico wouldn't be so successful in flooding the US with illegal drugs if they weren't also armed with guns from the US.
More guns come from Texas than any other state due to its weak gun laws.
Never. Ever. Ever in your life get a Dalmatian.
Trust me on this.
They are the special forces of special needs dogs and will just fuck everything completely up.
Oh your lab chews? Neat
*throws beer can in yard, watches spotted dog eat it like it’s a ribeye
Checks statute of limitations*
I also shot a kid off his mongoose BMX bike with a Benjamin air rifle once. Dude would beat me up all the time.
So I made a plan. And hid in the bamboo next to the street. Fully cammied out.