Tess Malone @temalone Twitter profile

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Tess Malone

3 months

I probably should have a Taylor burner account, but I'm over having multiple internet personalities so on this account you will get Taylor standom, complaints on Atlanta politics, literary fiction subtweets, and times my cats barfed on something.

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Last Seen Profiles

@SweetDarling_1

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@mamodan_staff

@RafaWuzBR

@osca_hq

@yokoyamaii

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@using32183

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@GabyCaba193

@jeonlwyn

@bokeplokalmalam

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@ounlinn89

@dngonghinh

@WAAD_21137

@bokeplokalmalam

@r8toa

@StayedtheSame1

@Anitta_Mnguni

Tess Malone

@temalone

10 months

She is dressed like the Ikea monkey

The Swift Society

@TheSwiftSociety

10 months

📷| @TaylorSwift13 had dinner with Anya Taylor-Joy

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Mentally I am at March 13, 2020 again, except with way more rage.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

Oh great, a new thing to WebMD at midnight.

The Daily Beast

@thedailybeast

6 years

Scientists may have found a new organ in the human body. Let that sink in for a second. From @tanyabasu :

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@RaxKingIsDead This when you know someone isn’t running your PR

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 months

@offbeatorbit Like no because I don’t Stan politicians anymore

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

@Kristen_Arnett I recently had a couple try to gas light me into believing I really wanted the window seat, not my aisle. I did not budge.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

7 years

This was one of the best in-the-theater viewing experiences I've had in years.

Jordan Peele

@JordanPeele

7 years

Right now I’m just thinking about everyone who bought a ticket and told someone else to. You did this. Thank you. ✊🏾

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

I got basically a B- on my undergrad thesis because it was on Gaiman, and there wasn't any "proven" scholarship on him, so I had to make it up and that wasn't legit apparently.

Neil Gaiman

@neilhimself

5 years

It still rankles that the short story I wrote for my mock O levels was downgraded from an A to a C because "it is too original, which means you have copied it from somewhere".

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

@fisackerly People always missed how Hannah says the voice of a generation thing when she’s high

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

I honestly had a full-on meltdown last night. Turns out I have a ton of unprocessed March 2020 PTSD. Fun!

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@nesplease The extra sunlight and the pressure to do something with it

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

Working with contractors when you move is fun because my phone now has all these contacts named "Danny Mover," "Donnie Carpet," and "Mary Painter." I've finally achieved my dream of living in Richard Scarry's Busytown.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

10 months

@fatstevebuscemi But it kind of does because I will put it off that long

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Tess Malone

@temalone

7 years

"Please welcome Greta Gerwig, whom we didn't nominate for anything because we're part of the problem." #GoldenGlobes

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

I finished #KillingEve last night, and hot damn was that one sexy, suspenseful, truly surprising, and hilarious show. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is one of the best writers on TV today.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

7 years

"Anxiety and depression are liars. Those disorders, those mental health issues, they’re lying to me about who I am and what I’m capable of." This whole @iSmashFizzle interview is inspiring!

Ashley C. Ford's Advice For Freelancers And Finding Happiness

Read up on writer and host of 112BK Ashley C. Ford's thoughts on overcoming fear, going to therapy and the importance of failure

www.timeout.com

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

@AlexEthridge @Kristen_Arnett they also got up to pee twice during a 4-hour flight, I think to rub it in.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

Is it a sign of millennial burnout that I haven't been able to finish the millennial burnout article?

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Wish I could just bite people when I've had enough.

I’ve Pet That Cat

@IvePetThatCat1

3 years

Cat Cat’s hobbies are watching the drain the sink and trying to bite feet in the bath. She has her own bath tub bridge so she can lie above the bath. Cat Cat loves her people, but when she has had enough she’ll tell you with a bite.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

This is like the Stanford Prison Experiment of "if you give Twitter something to fight about, they will."

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

me on this website daily

ཊལབསརངཧ

@David_Rudnick

4 years

a wild boar in Haifa taking a nap after eating all the garbage

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

Remembering when Krog Street Market had free water.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

9 years

"Now go home, and don't kill anyone." Surprisingly difficult advice for #HTGAWM .

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

"Refugees (and it seems strange that I should actually have to say this) should never be used as political currency. " Thanks, @neilhimself .

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Tess Malone

@temalone

9 years

"All grammar is, really, is clarity." Starting off my work week with @neilhimself on the importance of grammar:

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

@lkherman “We clean up nice.”

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

@addysbaird I've had like 3 depression bouts during quar, and as someone who runs more anxious, each one has been a bit different and surprising. Usually, I sleep a lot, and now I can't. Been feeling unfocused and bored, like a permanent 😑

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

@ohJuliatweets When I accidentally stepped on his paw, my cat bit my ankle so deeply I needed to get antibiotic shots and medicine and then went to an unnecessary ER visit, but he is still my cute friend.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

One thing that has been distinctly weird about Stacey is she felt far more like a national celebrity than a local one in the last few years, and I don't remember feeling any momentum for this campaign on the ground here.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

“No one here has the power to take your gay card away, and even if they did — honestly, doing unlicensed gay stuff is kind of chic. Very classical. Very Sappho.” Love this, ⁦ @jpbrammer ⁩!

‘I Worry I’m Not ‘Gay Enough’’

I think you should worry less about that and more about doing gay stuff you enjoy.

www.thecut.com

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

@kittenwithawhip when I started my first real job, my boss invited me out for lunch the first day, and I said, "Thanks, can we do another day. I brought lunch!" I think about this like weekly.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@blgtylr this feels like an Inglorious Basterds type question, as in it's probably differently culturally

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 months

Princess Charlotte fan club

New Heights

@newheightshow

3 months

The Kelce family linked up with the Royal Family across the pond

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 months

@DBATCats I really need to get off this side of twitter because it really is starting to feel like qanon

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Tess Malone

@temalone

8 years

The best #GirlsHBO episodes are when it's just about a single girl. They feel like short stories.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Saw Steve Martin and Martin Short last night. They're on top of their game in their 70s and make actually funny jokes that aren't dated, offensive, or at anyone's expense but their own. All those other comics who complain about censorship are just showing their lack of talent.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 months

I appreciate how gold medalists like Simone Biles and Caleb Dressel are bring up front about mental health struggles and therapy.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

Somehow @hankgreen 's A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor is the perfect pandemic book—and it's readable AF, like I kind of wanted to stay in bed all day and binge. Thank you, Hank; I needed this.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

For anyone who has not been to Decatur, the blue columns are already there, and I find it hilarious how much they factor into #Watchmen .

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@MediumSizeMeech They’re Def going off to boarding school so Amanda and Graham can bond, but it’s less sad because British people like boarding school

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

@4evrmalone this was really wild. I have emotional whiplash.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

I love how Portia only realizes Jack is sketch when she can’t find him on Insta. #WhiteLotus

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

“Sometimes overplanning, overworking, and overthinking is simply anxiety masquerading as productivity. Sometimes it’s harder, and better, to simply let go.” @jpbrammer

Time Is Slipping Away

Papi, I don't want things to change. Things are nice.

holapapi.substack.com

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

@notfolu @jackiehluo ugh she is a classic example hate the artist, like the art for me. I've resented her for so long, but some of the recipes pop, even though she did not invent shortbread or curry stew

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Tess Malone

@temalone

8 years

Rewatching OotP and out of all crazy HP things, horses only visible to people who have seen death drawing carriages for kids is effed up.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

@IjeomaOluo Since 2016, I’ve been a patient escort at Planned Parenthood. This summer, I started tutoring refugee kids. Looking for ways to get involved in climate movement. Protesting as much as I can, including tomorrow against this war. Basically finding ways to show up for the cause.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 days

@madilinlovesthg @casualbrina She’s bi and she’s great

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@rachsyme trying to remember his grandkids' names

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

Chill new Google maps feature.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

Why is there still not a wine bar in Atlanta? All the coffee shops-to-wine bars aren’t open late or doing the wine part yet. Restaurants with good lists aren’t chill enough to grab a glass without eating. I would prefer to go somewhere besides Barcelona but I’m out of ideas.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

8 months

Hey, I wrote this!

Atlanta Magazine

@AtlantaMagazine

8 months

True dive bars have become harder to find in our ever-gentrifying city. Thankfully, the Righteous Room has been a reliable dive for more than 25 years:

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

This conversation between @cameronesposito , @GlennonDoyle , and @AbbyWambach is one of the best and most candid conversations on gender, later in life queerness, and Catholicism I’ve ever heard. Thank you for this episode.

96. Cameron Esposito: How to Save Your Damn Self

Episode · We Can Do Hard Things · Glennon and Abby welcome their dear friend Cameron Esposito to discuss: 1. Cameron’s brutiful relationship with her body–and how it feels playing a sexy TV role. 2....

open.spotify.com

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

“There’s so many things as women we are taught to feel guilty for, like the relationships we are in, the clothes we wear, the food we eat. Feel guilty for being mean. Don’t feel guilty for your sex life.” @thebestjasmine #DBF2019

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

Sure senate majority matters, but these “well who gives a damn about Georgia now” takes ignore the fact that these lawmakers still very much affect people on a local level. This is not some national game with the electoral map as a scoreboard; it’s people’s lives.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

We did if, Joe! We snuck a Publix chicken tender sub into Oppenheimer!

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

I would like to announce to 5:45 p.m. Monday Twitter that I think I finished my novel. Well, a first draft.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

There should only be one king, the King of Flavortown, and even then Guy is a democratically elected mayor.

ashley fairbanks

@ziibiing

2 years

It's crazy that a King of England can even exist in 2022. You can't just go around having Kings of places, this is the future.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

I feel like Jason Sudeikis did all this shit.

Kat Tenbarge

@kattenbarge

1 year

I just want the Succession girlies to know that the scene of Kendall and Rava last night was *textbook* post-spousal separation abuse. Threatening to lie in front of the car, gaslighting, and saying he’s going to fight for full custody are hallmarks of this kind of abuse.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

This is like a college thesis on Nancy Meyers. Any director should be honored to get someone to pay attention to their work as thoughtfully as @rachel_handler does.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

Found this on TikTok last night and I am dead.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

The end of the pandemic is so close that my mind is finally like: Okay time to lose it.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

8 years

"You work at a market, right?" "No, marketing." Same thing. #GirlsHBO

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

If you're wondering why forced sterilizations are happening in the US and why it's still federally legal, I highly recommend @lmillernpr 's Why Fish Don't Exist for a primer on how eugenics became popular here. To say this is Nazi behavior distances us from actual US history.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@Noctilicious @GayJewbianLady @otherhappyplace it's the coughing for me

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Tess Malone

@temalone

7 years

@helfitzgerald Take all of your vacation days. If you cancel, you need to offer an alternate activity or time. Always donate to the office baby shower.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 months

@blgtylr Just saw a tiktok about this same thing happening and the girl concludes with “a flight is a not a group project”

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 months

@bmluse Kieran Culkin actively dying...god this such a French thing to say

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

I refuse to believe all these White women have never seen a subtitled movie. Like didn’t we all go through an Amélie phase?

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Tess Malone

@temalone

9 years

"We deserve a better world." We deserve better TV, HBO. #truedetective

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Tess Malone

@temalone

10 years

If people ask me what I did this weekend, I'll say I spent it laugh-crying while watching @nbcparenthood . This show couldn't be better.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

In the same hour I learned my therapist is resigning one week before the election, I also got into grad school for public policy. LOL.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

@KindaHagi how would you not have all sorts of digestive issues and nutritional deficiencies from this?

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

This week I bought a condo and a teenager told me I looked 15. I contain multitudes.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

I successfully negotiated down my rent and got a vaccine appointment in the same 5 minutes. I am all-powerful.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Oh no we are back at the pandemic with the Instagram chain letter book exchange.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

Hey, I wrote this!

Atlanta Magazine

@AtlantaMagazine

1 year

A love letter to Atlanta’s iconic arthouse cinema, which finally re-opened after a seven-month closure:

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

Cried for an hour about cancelling my birthday trip to Portugal (I was actually crying about a lot of other stuff this trip symbolizes). Then decided to order myself a Snoopy cake from Publix for my birthday instead. Because if that doesn't say 30, what does?

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Gotta be real I read this whole thing (which is a fantastically written piece of journalism) and thought, "Dawn is just pissed she's a bad writer."

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

"The idea of shopping your way out of monopoly capitalism is like recycling your way out of climate change. Don’t stop recycling, but don’t kid yourself that that’s where the work has to end." @doctorow

On living in the future while trying to create a better one

Writer Cory Doctorow on the restorative power of solidarity, how people talk themselves into doing the wrong things, and the dangerous monopoly of Amazon and Audible.

thecreativeindependent.com

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Tess Malone

@temalone

7 years

@robdelaney Rob, you've gone full Brit now because you use family as a plural noun (pay vs. pays).

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Also I love how the WaPo TikTok account is normally funny news memes but occasionally has reporters filming from Ukraine, and it's really cool to see the pivot and get real information with so much disinformation around. Hats off to @davejorgenson !

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

@pronounced_ing I’m about to start saying “He’s a ride.”

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

Humidity is at oppressive Southern Gothic novel levels.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

General life advice: Just say no to the thing early. Do it politely and respectfully without apologizing, and people will still like you—unlike when you bail last minute and let people down and hate yourself. Just say no first. No one is going to yell at you.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

I got it.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

7 years

A coworker just called me to ask why her oatmeal bars didn't turn out. I'm now a baking problem hotline.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 months

@imjasondiamond To be fair this man has always looked this old

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

"My brain is operating at airplane–Wi-Fi speeds. I work, and I cook dinner, and I take care of other assorted household tasks all while, essentially, buffering." @joshgondelman

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

I used to TA a diversity in journalism class. One of the questions was about how you would write about a police report. The right answer was don't mention race. Instead half the students wrote "mocha skin," and I had to give them a 0 then explain they were racist at office hours.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

3 years

@jduffyrice yes, because the show is less about him and more how he affects everyone around him so as the ensemble picks up, it gets richer

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 months

Thank you, Turtles All the Way Down, for dramatizing texting in a way that is actually readable.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

Make the @ericjoonho gochujang caramel cookies.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

9 months

@LouisPeitzman Has already died of TB

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Tess Malone

@temalone

1 year

@mariskreizman I’m whoever Mary is

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

Thank you for everything, @staceyabrams . I hadn't been this excited to vote for someone since 2008 and never been this civically engaged. You inspired me to get out there and meet Georgians and fight for the disenfranchised, and I'm not stopping now. I know you aren't either.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

4 years

@BourgeoisWells I have thought about law school this week and googled poli sci master's. WTF.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

6 years

ICYMI I'm bisexual! Happy #Pride !

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

@emilynussbaum I allow Jay Duplass and Kathryn Hahn in Transparent. They feel aggrieved enough.

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Tess Malone

@temalone

2 years

@lint_ax it's where the Mayo Clinic is!

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Tess Malone

@temalone

5 years

“There’s still a huge expanse between the ruined world inaction will leave and the best futures we can make starting now. The biggest fights are still ahead.” I needed this, ⁦ @AlexSteffen ⁩.

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