S. Bear Bergman @sbearbergman Twitter profile

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S. Bear Bergman

1 year

If you think you would like books that @TheRaDR @abechdel @rgay @katebornstein @carolqueen @ivancoyote @grease_bat @hanneblank @andreagibson and @CAwkward have liked, check these out (I wrote them):

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Last Seen Profiles

@rkzeeyu

@Ex_Manelkac

@MiNdofMiNe95

@francofreda1984

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@JUSTNINI__

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@chaeolyne

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@jnr8791

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

I was “in the newspapers as a youth activist” level of O-U-T as a queer student at 16yo in 1991. EVERY SINGLE ONE of the objections we now see about trans youth was made about me, and I am FURIOUS at all the gays and lesbians my age who are falling for this now. To them:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 months

When I teach professionals, I sometimes put them in groups to discuss and take notes. I specifically name that women are overwhelmingly called upon to serve as recorders, so I ask that every group assign a man to do this. The reactions are *wild*. Regularly, one man makes a 1/x

Izzy Jayasinghe

@i_jayas

3 months

A study on what many of us already know: over 75% of internal service work in academia is done by women. “We were surprised by how brazenly the male researchers described their priorities, for example that they actively didn’t respond to emails”

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

Sure, yes: let’s teach our young women to say “I’m speaking,” when they need to. BUT LETS PUT TRIPLE THAT ENERGY INTO TEACHING OUR YOUNG MEN NOT TO INTERRUPT PEOPLE OR SPEAK OVER THEM. STOP BURDENING WOMEN AND NONBINARY PEOPLE WITH THE FAILURES OF MASCULINITY, HOW ABOUT?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 months

Talk about everyone wants a revolution but no one wants to do the dishes. Feminist men, a word: learn to do all those things and DO them. Take the notes. Organize the group gift. Keep track of birthdays. Take the lunch order and call it in. DO a feminism, don’t just say it.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

When people ask me what I mean about wanting mutual aid a lot more than I want more self-care, this is (part of) what I mean:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 months

“joke” that his handwriting or note-taking (or both) are terrible, so not him, which gives me the moment to note that people who practice a skill will improve, which is why women seem to be better at it. It’s not mostly natural inclination, my dudes, it’s just practice.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Writers pro tip: if the punchline of your joke is “man in a dress” or “two dudes kiss,” you don’t have a joke, you have a contributing factor in an eventual hate crime.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

and mouth the SAME ARGUMENTS THEY USED AGAINST US? Make things harder, and not better, for trans and nonbinary and gender-noncompliant youth? I fought for you to be able to live, thrive, and succeed. NOT so you could shit on the kids who need us most now. Shame on you all.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

I fought for every student to have the equal right to attend school safely regardless of their gender or sexuality and I got hate mail, I got screamed at by crowds, I got condemned to death while most of you were still closeted. I testified at the statehouse; I visited

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

And to be clear: zero judgement about when or if you ever could be that out or do that work. It’s not for everyone, and I want all 2SLGBTQIA+ people to live well and be happy so make your own choices in love. But don’t use that choice as a cover to shit on trans kids. Not EVER.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

schools and talked to teachers, I let them print my picture and full name in the paper while my parents begged me not to, while the AIDS epidemic raged and Jesse Helms was still yelling for all the dirty queers to be rounded up and branded or sent to an island. At every turn,

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

I also had the benefit of queer adults in my life who took HUGE risks being there for me as a teenager because of these nonsense ideas about “grooming” and “recruiting.” They stood by me in every way and helped me to be scared but do the work anyway. They encouraged me and

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

Now here you fools are. Benefitting in every way from my work. If you ever joined a GSA (or modern equivalent), that was me and my friends. If your state ever passed a law or rule protecting students from homophobia at school. Out and fighting. Now you’re going to sit there

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

people said I was disgusting, perverted, sick. They asked their legislators if their innocent children would have to share a locker room with me, if I should be allowed to have my own children or if I would ruin them, if I should be segregated or locked up. Grown adults

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

spit at me, screamed at me, sent bibles smeared with “blood” to my school, announced that I was an actual Horseman of the apocalypse. And they ALL said I was too young, much too young, to know anything about my own gender or sexuality. That it was a phase. That I could be cured.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

I have been queer and out long enough to remember this vividly: straight people objecting to being called “straight.” The majority only wants to name the minority, never to be named by them, because that means the minority group also has agency (the real thing they don’t want).

Ari Drennen

@AriDrennen

1 year

Nothing is ever new

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

loved me and fed me and they met me at the back doors of government edifices away from the crowds and spirited me away from the protesters and they *listened* to me while I yelled and cried and yelled some more. Or they exchanged email/IMs for hours while I processed my feelings.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Took my kids for a swim and there was a lot of staring and snickering at my fat, tattooed, visibly scarred trans body today. I am feeling tender and angry, and at that complicated crossroads I'm sharing this:

Please Come And Be Fat

“Hey, um,” he says, obviously trying to hide some urgency, “can I ask you for kind of a weird favor?”

medium.com

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

Are you #trans or #nonbinary and stuck someplace they won’t call you by your name? DM me and we can talk on the phone and EVERY TIME MY KIDS INTERRUPT ME (estimate: eleventy trillion) to ask me who I’m talking to I will use your right name/pronoun. For real, though. I’m home.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

THE CIVIL WAR WAS SO RECENT THAT THE US GOVT JUST FINISHED PAYING ANY SOLDIER OR DECENDENT A PENSION FOR THE FIRST TIME AS OF YESTERDAY. YESTERDAY. DO NOT TELL ME ABOUT HOW SLAVERY WAS SO LONG AGO.

Jamie McGuire

@JamieMcGuire24P

4 years

1/2 The last child of a Union Veteran of the Civil War to still receive a federal pension, Irene Tripplet, passed away on May 31, 2020 at the age of 90. Yesterday was the first time since the late 1860s that the U.S. Government has not been paying a monthly pension to

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@runwithskizzers For everyone who has ever said that consent isn’t sexy: EXHIBIT MFing A, PEOPLE

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

Twitter, where do I find voice actors for small paid jobs who have real accents? I need voice actors with Caribbean, West African, Indian or Pakistani, and Chinese accents and the auditions I am getting are white people who YouTubed their way into sounding “Jamaican.” Any help?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

5 years

Been taking my kids to pride since they were zygotes. Here are the phrases you need: - that’s a way some adults like to play - because they feel good when they wear it - I hope they’re wearing sunscreen too - did you remember to say thank you for the pretty beads?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

What if - and I’m just spitballing here - but what if we raised the minimum wage and DIDN’T raise prices and CEOs just got paid less and so did stockholders? And everyone could afford to eat actual food and drink clean water and live somewhere safe? Is that anything?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 months

@devon_spier

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 month

17 years ago today, I got in my car and drove 9 hours to Canada to spend one night with a guy I’d had a conference fling with 6 weeks earlier. 2 weeks later I moved to Toronto for the summer to see about him. We will have been married 15 years next week. #t4tLoveStories

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

@james_f_thomas I am going to assume she means “this medication is contraindicated with pregnancy,” and not “this will prevent pregnancy,” yes?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

5 years

#Pride pro-tip for emcees: no need to say “ladies and gentlemen.” You can say LITERALLY ANYTHING in a welcoming, positive tone. Try it: - Friends and Visitors! - Lovers and Fighters! - Kiwis and Apricots! - Graters and Colanders! - T-squares and Protractors!

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Are you trans and too fucking sad and tired to cook today? Drop your Venmo or PayPal and I’ll send you $20 for dinner/a treat/wine/whatever. I’ve got the first 5; cis friends feel free to jump in after that.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

Excuse me but if Gd doesn’t love drag then please explain the maple moth:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

5 years

Dear cis women furious about menstrual products no longer made with a O+ on the package: 1. Really? 2. I’m the one you’re mad at, and my trans brothers/enby siblings. Not trans women. 3. Blaming everything gendery you don’t like on trans women is NOT A GOOD LOOK, LORNA.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

7 years

Please enjoy as the entire city of #Toronto trolls @seanspicer . cc @melissamccarthy

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Pro tip for straight people: DO NOT ask queer people how or where they got their children, who carried, who’s the donor, none of it. Nothing. Ever. If you knew them well enough to ask that, you would already know the answer.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

Listen. LISTEN. If you know someone who is comfortable expressing their bigotry toward one marginalized group I GUARANTEE you there are others they just keep quiet about. It’s not possible to be a /little/ hateful. Love and kisses, a queer and transgender Jew.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

Please, I beg of you.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@clhubes Some of them are just like this (mine all were). Sometimes they chill out eventually, but if not teach them to bake as soon as possible. Sometimes I wake up to fresh pie w scratch crust baked by a 12yo who woke up at 6am and wanted to make pie. Everything has tradeoffs.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

10 months

@badinfinity2

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@DevonEllington @whsuleonard 9 books in, 2 more under contract, and a fairly decent career in devised theatre and storytelling - my grandmother’s most frequent comment is “who pays for this?”

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

Noting that @Lizzo has been uplifting and praising trans & nonbinary people since I first saw her in concert 5 years ago in a 1000 seat hall. Nothing about this is hype for her new gender-affirming clothing line. That work followed FROM her unequivocal support of t/nb/gq people.

Erin Reed

@ErinInTheMorn

1 year

Amazing. Lizzo, in front of thousands of people, confronts LB574 - a gender affirming care ban and abortion ban - in Nebraska tonight. "Don't let anyone tell you who you are. These laws aren't real. YOU are real."

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

YOUR REGULAR REMINDER THAT THE FULL SAYING IS: ONE BAD APPLE SPOILS THE BARREL.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

Good morning to @PadmaLakshmi who in 20 seasons of Top Chef has never ONCE makes a comment about calories, earning her food, being “bad”, working it off, or anything like that and to her only. 200+ episodes of nothing but enthusiasm and joy in food and eating. Spectacular vibes.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

I don’t know who need to hear this on the 29th Wednesday of pandemic restrictions but: survival is productivity. You’re already doing a lot just by making it through the day.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

If you’re trans or nonbinary or genderqueer and you got up this morning? You’re a fucking hero and somebody should buy you an ice cream cone, and honestly I wish it could be me.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

6 years

Zainab the Mighty (pictured below, age 2), requires blood from someone with type A or O who ALSO is missing the “Indian B” blood antigen, and the situation is quite dire. The donor must be of Iranian, Indian or Pakistani descent. Do your thing, Twitter.

WSVN 7 News

@wsvn

6 years

A worldwide search is on for some of the rarest blood in the world to help save the life of a 2-year-old South Florida girl battling an aggressive cancer. Help spread the word to find her a match!

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@kaitfeldmann She’s super popular, her app subscriptions are high, she’s trying to do something. Notably, when she was less known and had less money she was always very generous with her time and support, like Roxane Gay. The business case may not bear out but she’s values-forward.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@jordanzakarin

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

It occurred to me this morning that I could go to Tennessee, dress in the sparkliest drag imaginable, plunk my happy gay ass on the steps of the statehouse and read books to children and they couldn’t do shit about it because my assigned sex at birth was female.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

5 years

Parents: don’t just have a category of “bad words,” for your children. Differentiate into what’s a swear (a word considered rude, for adults only) and what’s a slur (a word that demeans or dehumanizes someone) Use of the former isn’t an issue of character; use of the latter is.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

When I buy a piece of art I often send a photo of it in our house to the artist if I can. Seems like it could be hard to make a thing and then have it travel off without you? So I like to show artists where their work lives now. Probably weird, but no complaints so far.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

8 years

If yr own father can't handle your queerness/gender/fabulousness, let me say that I'm a dad & I think you turned out great. #FathersDay

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

6 years

ABSOLUTELY NOT. DON’T FUCKING WATCH THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE. IT’S LITERALLY EVERYTHING THATS WRONG WITH CIS PEOPLE’S UNDERSTANDING OF TRANS-NESS WITH A CHILD PORNOGRAPHY GLAZE ON TOP. NO NO NO NO NO. ALSO:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

I did not write this! It’s a Tumblr post that’s going around, but Twitter cropped the image so you can’t see the attribution unless you expand, but it’s from Tumblr user QueerSpacePunk: and here’s the link to their original post:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

In honor of #NonBinaryPeoplesDay , allow me to share these pages about they/them pronouns from my forthcoming book SPECIAL TOPICS IN BEING A HUMAN, illustrated by @sfreedmanlawson , in hopes they’ll help anyone still resisting them. Preorder the book at

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@keffals Oh, yes! I remember. I hope you’re doing well, friend. All the best.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

@FallonTonight @theroots @Lin_Manuel @HamiltonMusical @disneyplus WHO EDITED THIS MASTERPIECE TELL US SO THE INTERNET CAN PRAISE THEM.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

8 years

Hate crimes against us a punchline in @BadMoms movie & straight people still "shocked" at violence twrds LGBTQ folk?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

The real-life antidote to that trans Starbucks ad: when your friends love you like this young fella’s friends love him.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

I am at my kids’ school watching the Grade 5/6 play, and original musical written by the students about climate change called The Last Straw, and however great you think it sounds I assure you: it’s better.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

Pro tip for cis people: if you see a trans person joking abt trans things with one specific cis person, it’s not an invitation to all cis ppl to join/repeat that joke. It’s a sign that one *specific* cis person has earned that trust. Seek to emulate the trust, not the joke.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

@gemmapeters @EliToYou I also have one like this. They will make splendid adults if we can let them live that long.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@taylorgarron

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

I just want to say today that if your original dad hasn’t been able to honor and celebrate your gender, sexuality, politics or just your general fabulousness? Well, I’m a dad, and I love you and I’m SO proud of you. #FathersDay

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Not for nothing but when I teach Sex Positive Trans Sex and start the trans/nonbinary/genderqueer ppl in the group making a big list of words we actually like for our bits and parts? Batcave is ALWAYS listed.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

8 years

This week on Ask Bear @BitchMedia , words for someone who finds herself in an abusive relationship and is struggling.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

What if we just didn’t make fun of how anyone looked, ever again? What if we didn’t stare at or titter over or speculate about or insult people’s appearances even a little at all anymore? How would that be for you?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

Pro tip: if a kid you know is into Paw Patrol, redirect them to Octonauts. You still get animals responding to distress calls and being helpful using wild technology, but science and many fish facts instead of… the other business.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

IT ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK IS NOT.

The Guardian Long Read

@gdnlongread

2 years

While you are considering your life choices and daily habits... The invisible addiction - is it time to give up caffeine?

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Oh hello, all of the Internet that has now also seen me half naked. If you liked the essay, it may interest you to know that I have also written a number of books:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Hey trans friends. You’re tired because this is all SO hard. It’s very reasonable to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed. All these feelings are valid. You’re not overreacting. Did you wake up today? Are you planning to do it again tomorrow? Then you’re doing a really good job.

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@sbearbergman

6 years

@SunandRainDay @anotheriain @Nataliealana87 @Rachel__Harper I walked dogs & chatted w the same guy at 7am in the park for THREE YEARS. One day a man I didn’t recognize greeted me very familiarly at the bank. I looked at him like he was undermedicated & turned away. Took seeing him the next morning for me to realize & apologize.

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@sbearbergman

3 years

I would just like to note that @lizzo has been absolutely on this for YEARS. Shouting out trans women in her live shows, using gender-inclusive language, being vocally about trans justice - all of it, from when her biggest hit was Phone.

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@them

3 years

This is what allyship looks like!

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Who would like to pay me to interview some dads about how the pandemic has changed their parenting because I’m ready with questions for the men.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

10 months

@KyleLukoff

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

1 year

@ambernoelle from the outline I’m working on for a movie set in Minnesota:

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

5 years

Honestly, if @SenWarren doesn’t start using “Let’s figure this out,” as her slogan/tagline all the time her comms team should be fired.

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@sbearbergman

4 years

@MarcSnetiker He’s not her boyfriend. If she didn’t know before, she should know now.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

@KaylaAncrum This is delightful and hella gay (and also I am going to laugh up my sleeve when it appears in five different gay YA novels in 2022 but it will be a happy laughter).

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@sbearbergman

2 years

@niresliah @babysnakebaby @SonyaBonczek Let’s just say that the heterosexually-couples dads who said the most about equally shared parenting did not map onto the dads who felt capable of handling a birthday invitation.

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@sbearbergman

3 years

I wish I could beam the feeling I’m having right now, watching my nonbinary 11yo advocate for themselves so calmly and bravely in the face of casual gender policing by a random dad at the park, right into the heart of every parent in the world.

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@sbearbergman

3 years

How it's started How it's going

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

4 years

@RadishHarmers

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@sbearbergman

2 years

Today I learned that in 2019 the Icelandic committee on naming established a gender-nonspecific last name suffix (-bur) to go along with -son or -dottir, in addition to naming formats for two-mom and two-dad families, and I felt such a jolt of joy.

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@sbearbergman

4 years

@ellle_em I also hosted a multi-gender 10yo sleepover last night, and I am here to tell you it was a DEN of sin. They drank tea and ate cookies! They played video games! They PLAYED PIANO DUETS WHAT IS THIS WORKS COMING TO WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

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@sbearbergman

2 years

Journalism pro-tip: If you write about the violenceTexas is doing to trans kids and talk only to the cis parents of trans kids? You’re doing it wrong. If your existing connections don’t include any trans young people, you’re not the right person to write the piece. Full stop.

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@sbearbergman

2 years

Uh hello friends, here is the breakdown and info to submit, thanks for your patience

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@sbearbergman

2 years

@k8bushofficial This is why straight people should not be put in charge of sex ed curricula. The idea that there’s such a thing as “foreplay” and that it is distinct and different from “sex” is exhausting.

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@sbearbergman

5 years

@rgay May his taint be infested with the itch of a thousand fleabites until two days after his death.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@twinkpeaks_ I find this a pleasing extension of the trend of trans guy names that are also occupations of the 17th century.

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S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

How am I? Well, yesterday Florida banned trans kids, the largest US Jewish gathering platformed someone who says it’s fine to hate trans people, and my new barber went on a little antisemitic rant while he was trimming my beard, literally with a scissors against my throat.

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@sbearbergman

3 years

@Karnythia

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@sbearbergman

4 years

@wordmixrr My ex and I got a foster puppy, super skinny w kennel cough and worms. Vet said “put an egg or two in his food, it’ll help. In my defence, she never actually said “crack a raw egg into the bowl.” So... kibble omelet. Right? But then you can never stop making them.

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@sbearbergman

2 years

If your dad couldn't (or still can't) handle your queerness, your gender, your politics, or just your general-duty fabulousness, I just want to say today that I'm a dad, and I think you turned out great (and I bet a bunch of other people think so too).

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@sbearbergman

4 years

@shaunna_harper @PinkNews

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@sbearbergman

3 years

@katherineschof8 @HesterBlum

2

415

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

6 years

WHAT IF gender reveal parties were thrown by the person whose gender it actually is, when they feel ready, instead of by parents making an event out of a cursory inspection of fetal genitals?

7

66

411

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

CORPORATIONS: before you’re allowed to add that rainbow logo, you must release your political contributions, health insurance policy, and provide an opportunity to interview the highest ranking queer woman of colour in your organization. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

4

107

409

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

5 years

Okay, listen, I am seeing a lot right now about “I don’t complain, I take action,” and as a Jew I need Twitter to know that “both at the same time” is a totally valid option.

5

59

399

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

Apparently an unpopular opinion but I’m not bothered by Lil Nas X and his pregnant photos because first of all let a queer have his gender in peace and good health but second, I’m not seeing mockery. I am seeing homage.

10

20

395

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

2 years

@PatMizzah @jacasiegel Weight loss might be a result of increased fitness (might not) but it is not in and of itself either indicative of better health or better fitness, and conflating the two supports a whole host of fatphobic attitudes and behaviours. Just get a crop top if you want to show off.

4

7

398

S. Bear Bergman

@sbearbergman

3 years

She’s clearly trying to call down the queer lightning and I for one wish her great success in all her endeavours.

3

38

395