Kafka, esq. ⚾️ @metalgearobama Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@LaneyMTaylor

Kafka, esq. ⚾️

@metalgearobama

3 years

To not even wear a mask when it would protect your identity while committing crimes is so fucking funny

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@metalgearobama

1 year

I think you might have something else

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Reading Mein Kampf and shaking my head the whole time so the people on the bus know I disagree with it

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Archers and flanking cavalry cmon man do you even command a legion

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@metalgearobama

6 months

Charges for what, this is America not Israel lol

New York Post

@nypost

6 months

NY family who confronted potty-mouthed poster-rippers call for charges

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@metalgearobama

1 year

Brother is producing colors previously thought impossible

coupe

@pred1cts

1 year

had to pull out the grill on em

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@metalgearobama

1 month

It’s crazy that like 25% of the population is just her now

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@metalgearobama

3 years

POV: you have just walked past a million dollar home

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@metalgearobama

2 years

My wife screens my DMs ever since “the incident” (almost got groomed into joining ISIS)

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@metalgearobama

10 months

Europe: famously not into clubbing

Jonathan Chang

@thechangj

10 months

11pm in Europe - streets are bustling, there’s a crafts market still going on, people just starting their meals or grabbing drinks Wish the US had this sort of night culture that wasn’t just focused on clubbing and drinking in major cities

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@metalgearobama

3 months

Bro you are GAY

Ian Miles Cheong

@stillgray

3 months

When given pictures of thirst traps, AI imagines what could've been if they'd been raised by strong fathers.

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@metalgearobama

9 months

Let’s take a moment to honor a fallen first responder

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@metalgearobama

8 months

We never got an update on this. I assume they are still going at it in the ultimate contest of wills like Goku and Frieza

KRAZEE MEDIA ❼

@krazeetv_

1 year

Adult film star King Nasir is currently in Ghana to satisfy Ghanaian actress Shugatiti. She had publicly declared that no man allowed her to reach orgasm. They will compete live on a paid platform. Source: First Mag

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@metalgearobama

4 months

The US military has determined that Zoomer guys are attracted to what can only be described as Manic Pixie Retards

Mittens THE CATMAN (2022)

@JUSTcatmeme

4 months

Guys, I think I’ve fallen in love again

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Twitter beefs make a lot more sense when you realize almost everyone on here is an alcoholic making $12 an hour in a warehouse

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Men enjoying weed and not having a panic attack is a sign of weakness. Their mind is docile and unprepared for threats

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@metalgearobama

1 month

I think it’s cool that AI’s main application seems to be generating enjoyable content for people who can only be described as having GTA 5 NPC level sentience

shy kids

@shykids

1 month

'air head' is one of the first short films made using #Sora by @OpenAI . the response so far has left us floating.🎈

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@metalgearobama

4 months

It used to be that a man could support a family, as well as a second, secret family, on one income

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@metalgearobama

3 years

This is a masterpiece of American cinema

Alexis Pereira

@MrAlexisPereira

3 years

The first half of this video is already incredible. And then it kicks it into another gear.

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@metalgearobama

2 months

This is what white people looked like in 2008

T

@GuadagninoFilms

2 months

TIMOTHÉE AS BOB DYLAN ERAAAA

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@metalgearobama

8 months

He got beasted on

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@metalgearobama

4 months

Crying

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Picking up smoking at 24 to look cool is so fucking funny dude. We need to wall off Brooklyn

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@metalgearobama

3 years

im a 9/11 last responder, i just arrived on the scene today. looks like it’s already been taken care of

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@metalgearobama

7 months

Hitler:

Arty the Art Historian

@ArtyArtHistory

7 months

Controversial opinion: Jazz is simply failed music. It sounds like a child scribbling all over the page. Formless, meaningless, and unpleasant. Just a bunch of random noise that people trick themselves into liking, while they become numb to true musical quality in the process.…

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@metalgearobama

4 months

He’s fucking cooking

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@metalgearobama

2 months

Perfect Reddit post

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@metalgearobama

5 months

They made the body bulletproof because everyone within a 30 meter radius will want to hunt you down

Prestige Worldwide 🇨🇦

@DobackHuffInc

5 months

This is why you don’t remove the stalks. These fucking idiots are pressing the wrong button for the turn signal. $tsla

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@metalgearobama

1 year

This is a product out of 2007

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@metalgearobama

2 years

How do you attack an 82 year old with a hammer and not kill him lol

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@metalgearobama

7 months

It’s so crazy to me how much fascist propaganda just relies on telling everyone that the exact opposite of reality is actually happening to you.

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@metalgearobama

7 months

Hardest working Frenchman

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Laughing at the idea of a guy in a Lovecraftian situation and being too stupid to go insane. Like Rob Gronkowski seeing an eldrich horror and trying to get it to do a keg stand

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Forming a union? What are you, racist?

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@metalgearobama

3 months

POV you are driving at night in 2024

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Real men consume 90% of their calories in one meal at 5pm and then pass out

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Malcolm Gladwell is one of my favorite frauds. A “public intellectual” with no qualifications for being one, writing on topics he has no expertise on, declared as such because he says the things powerful people like to hear

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@metalgearobama

6 months

If you can be charged for telling people to fuck off in public I’m facing life

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@metalgearobama

3 years

What if I told you all fashion and subcultures are consumption signifiers

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@metalgearobama

5 months

Sorry Woke MIT students, if your plan was to make $50 an article after school you got another thing coming

New York Post

@nypost

5 months

Dave Portnoy vows not to hire from Harvard, MIT and Penn after presidents’ congressional testimony: ‘Unacceptable on every single level’

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@metalgearobama

5 months

Have the people who write for the Simpsons these days even watched the first 10 seasons? Have they ever laughed?

The Simpsons

@TheSimpsons

5 months

Homer's onto something here...

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@metalgearobama

2 years

In 2022 zoomers will discover the bud light WAZZAAAUP ad campaign and start repeating it incessantly

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@metalgearobama

2 years

I would pay $10,000 to watch you hang drywall

Dr Jordan B Peterson

@jordanbpeterson

2 years

"It's okay to be a man". It's not okay; It's necessary. You look around cities and see all these buildings go up. These men, they're doing impossible things. They're working on the sewers; they're up on the power lines in the storms and the rain. (1/4)

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@metalgearobama

7 months

Jesus Christ lol

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Just a regular every day Ukrainian with an American designated marksman rifle (MSRP with attachments: $4-5000)

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Okay, sure

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@metalgearobama

8 months

Travis Kelce tweet from 2011: Lurve that chiken from popeyes haha Swiftie: Taylor he is not good for you. Taylor you are in danger

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@metalgearobama

2 years

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@metalgearobama

3 years

I spent $300,000 to make our house look more “vaporwave” and now my wife is leaving me

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@metalgearobama

5 months

Walking into the weed shop to ask for the weed that makes TV funny but they only have the stuff they gave to the unabomber

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@metalgearobama

28 days

O.J. Simpson

@TheRealOJ32

3 years

Get your shot. I got mine!!!

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@metalgearobama

2 years

In my defense they seemed like they were going through a rough time and I am an empath

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@metalgearobama

2 years

A Saudi bone saw squad could not make me admit this

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@metalgearobama

10 months

Boys weekends are illegal now?

New York Post

@nypost

10 months

Hunter Biden filmed himself smoking crack behind the wheel, driving at 172mph on way to Vegas: photos

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@metalgearobama

2 months

I’m rarely a “you need to see this movie in theaters” guy but you gotta see Dune 2 just for the sound alone

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@metalgearobama

7 months

Eric Adams has articulated the Divine Right of Mayors

Annie McDonough

@Annie_McDonough

7 months

"I am mayor because God gave me the authority to be mayor," @NYCMayor Eric Adams says in interview on Radio Visíon Cristiana.

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@metalgearobama

1 year

Imagining how good the Trump speech would be in this scenario

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Beethoven’s “discography”

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@metalgearobama

10 months

Mom: What do you want to eat? Me, 8 years old:

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@metalgearobama

10 months

They should restore the monarchy for the fifth time, that’ll get it done

iamyesyouareno

@iamyesyouareno

10 months

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@metalgearobama

10 months

Going down on a woman to prove I’m straight:

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@metalgearobama

9 months

Do any of these guys understand what makes anything good. Do they understand the concept

Pomp 🌪

@APompliano

9 months

Better, cheaper haircuts are coming to a barber shop near you. Fighting technological progress is a losing strategy, so you are better off embracing it.

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Everyone roasting the guy in shotgun as if it would be smart to roll down the bulletproof glass to return fire

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@metalgearobama

10 months

Plate carrier over a hoodie this fuckin guy

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@metalgearobama

6 months

You can’t be a conservative and not have the balls to say it man that’s just pathetic lol

Rufus

@prometheus233

6 months

Ugh. I hate lying about my political views for the sake of dating. @millennialergy

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@metalgearobama

17 days

Woke bullshit in Colorado today. Disgusting

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@metalgearobama

2 months

Friendly reminder that if you criticize Baron Harkonnen you are only helping Paul Atreides and his jihadists win

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@metalgearobama

4 months

What if instead of anything interesting there was an evil hotel

DepressedBergman

@DannyDrinksWine

4 months

"Stanley Kubrick just couldn’t grasp the sheer inhuman evil of the Overlook Hotel. So he looked, instead, for evil in the characters & made 'The Shining' (1980) into a domestic tragedy with only vaguely supernatural overtones." --- Stephen King

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@metalgearobama

4 months

There is no excuse for how much Doordash discourse goes on in here you all need to go to the grocery store

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@metalgearobama

2 months

It’s so funny how much Trump broke liberals. This is a Mormon private investment billionaire who called 47% of all Americans leeches lol

Micah Erfan

@micah_erfan

3 months

Y’all remember when Republicans were normal???

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@metalgearobama

3 months

@whitefeelimgs

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@metalgearobama

1 year

VantaRed

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Fucking hilarious that formula 1 decided to cancel the Russian race but continued with the Saudi race and whoops looks like the Houthis just bombed Jeddah lol

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Do not post about White Boy Summer if you are not a white boy Do not post about White Boy Summer if you are not a white boy Do not post about White Boy Summer if you are not a white boy Do not post about White Boy Summer if you are not a white boy

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@metalgearobama

11 months

r/socialism is really good

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Boys night

PaX

@paxknc

3 years

What is happening here?

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@metalgearobama

3 years

So true queen. Your husband runs a hedge fund.

saira rao 🍉

@sairasameerarao

3 years

If you are white and your Black and brown friends are not regularly challenging your whiteness, chances are they don't trust you and are absolutely talking about your whiteness. Just not to you.

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@metalgearobama

2 years

(Marvel’s Saving Private Ryan) Tom Hanks, landing at Normandy: What the freaking heck, how bad is it? Androgynous and ethnically ambiguous Private: Like, all the bad sir!

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Tfw you have no allegations out there and you’re completely innocent even if there were

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@metalgearobama

5 months

Homer shouldn’t be talking like someone in a tiktok rant

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@metalgearobama

3 years

POV: you have just made a good post

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@metalgearobama

7 months

Bill man what are you DOING

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Stoners want indica and sativa to be different so bad

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@metalgearobama

1 year

They’re gatekeeping a city 8 million people live in again

Gabe

@gabeolivero

1 year

When New Yorkers say “the city”

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@metalgearobama

8 months

Bro thought he was him. He came into the court room like Dillon Brooks

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@metalgearobama

2 months

Not even the Hillary team was this arrogant man they are walking into a buzzsaw lol

ettingermentum🥥🌴

@ettingermentum

2 months

I’m so sick of this shit man

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@metalgearobama

3 years

My favorite platitude on here is “science is real”, utterly meaningless

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@metalgearobama

20 days

@tinylittlehomie She’s so powerful she’s already got a copy of GTA 6

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@metalgearobama

2 months

cc: . @CIA

NBC News

@NBCNews

2 months

BREAKING: Senate Majority Leader Schumer says Israeli PM Netanyahu's government "no longer fits the needs of Israel after Oct. 7."

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@metalgearobama

2 years

This is why they killed him

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@metalgearobama

7 months

@my__name__was Homeless guys are becoming more tactical, and the Left is making excuses

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Is it

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@metalgearobama

2 years

“Ethereal 1980s revival” I will never touch a nicotine containing product for the rest of my life

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@metalgearobama

3 years

Unrelated but every day he looks more and more like Mussolini

Zach Schwartz

@zachzachzach

3 years

Joe Rogan got Covid and decided to take Ivermectin Jfc Stop taking horse dewormer and get vaccinated

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@metalgearobama

3 months

You can’t be an epic constitution guy and then jettison it the moment it doesn’t break your way

Ted Cruz

@tedcruz

3 months

Come and take it.

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@metalgearobama

2 years

Lol imagine you’re in traffic for this bullshit

KCAL News

@kcalnews

2 years

Dozens of police cars in El Monte traveled together to County USC Hospital to join in the procession to escort the two fallen officers to the Coroner's Office