David Hill @davehill77 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@Kuroyura

@Mh32843005H

@RipleyHS

David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

This guy on TikTok has been trying to get a hummingbird to land on his hand for two weeks now and he’s tried all kinds of stuff like pouring sugar all over his body but his latest idea has completely sent me

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 months

This is incredible. A Wisconsin bar offered free drinks if the Jets lost. After Rodgers went down, they started running up their tabs. The news was live when the jets won in overtime and everyone realized they had to pay.

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David Hill

@davehill77

6 years

First they came for Roseanne, and I said nothing, because Roseanne sucks. Then they came for Bill Maher, and I said nothing, because Bill Maher also sucks.

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

Stayed up last night trying to finish my bathroom floor. Watched a YouTube tutorial in desperation. In the middle of the YouTube the woman gets out her phone and watches a YouTube tutorial.

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

My daughter went to a sleepover and told the parents she was a vegetarian and the dad told her they have to kill more animals to make tofu than they do for beef. She asked him how tofu was made and he didn’t know.

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 months

My mentions whenever I talk shit about Dave Portnoy

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 months

My wife up early this morning to start day three of preparations to host her enormous catholic family at our house for Christmas Eve

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

The guy who found 160 bowling balls buried in his yard really seems like the right guy to have found 160 bowling balls buried in his yard

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

People with glasses: why don’t you wear contacts?

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

“The media never even asked for my side of the story”

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

A guilty verdict doesn’t mean the justice system works it means protest works

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

When Paramount forced Eddie Murphy to put a single white person in Coming to America, he chose Louie Anderson.

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David Hill

@davehill77

7 years

@LauraLoomer you are the dumbest human on planet earth

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@CollinRugg Collin this is quite possibly the stupidest thing ever posted on twitter dot com congratulations

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David Hill

@davehill77

6 years

There is power in a union

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

I feel very comforted by the responses to this tweet. I’ve always wondered if I’m just being a baby about sticking things in my eyes but if I am at least I’m not alone.

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David Hill

@davehill77

7 years

It's important in times like these to remember all the good things that civilians do with machine guns every day.

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

Love a good excuse to remind people what Bernie’s lake house looks like

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@BrandonDoughan The anti vegetarians always go after tofu for some reason.

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David Hill

@davehill77

9 years

#EricGarner 's last words http://t.co/jTNdQtSwjo

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

Andrew Yang explains why he doesn’t actually live in New York with “can you imagine actually living in New York?”

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David Hill

@davehill77

7 years

My go-to dad joke is to always call Pokémon Pokey-Man. I'll never stop. I'll never apologize.

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 years

The fact that you shoot things you don't agree with is kinda why someone needs to take your guns

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

That’s because we didn’t slaughter millions of Bennigan’s bartenders

Matt Walsh

@MattWalshBlog

3 years

I have never heard anyone ever complain about the Boston Celtics and their stereotypical mascot. If "Cleveland Indian" is offensive than so is this. But this isn't offensive to anyone with a brain and a shred of emotional maturity, and neither is Cleveland Indian.

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

@Joanwestenberg

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

This is the most Michael Scott thing I’ve ever heard

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

It was at this point I abandoned hope.

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

Today my 4yo went outside with a butter knife and scratched the entire drivers side of the car. When I saw it he said “does this make you curious or does this make you mad?” What kind of The Omen bullshit is this

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

One of the many sad things about Desus and Mero splitting up is they used to joke about how when they got rich and famous they’d have a falling out and split up and that shit came true

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 months

The NYT nuked the sports desk but they run shit like this on the opinion page. Who is the audience for this

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 years

We have over 40 bats in our attic. We paid a company $800 to get rid of them. The guy is up there now swatting them out with his hands.

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

My ex wife has stopped sleeping with me. Does she hate sex?

Elon Musk

@elonmusk

1 year

Apple has mostly stopped advertising on Twitter. Do they hate free speech in America?

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

Beautiful to see nyc returning to normal

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

I’m betting $1,000 on the GOP holding the senate as a hedge. If they do, I win $1,000. If they don’t, I lose $1,000 and get a $2,000 stimulus check. That’s what we call +EV

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

I’m updating my Xmas card list and need people to dm me their assassination coordinates if they’ve changed since last year

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

@CillizzaCNN Eat shit nerd

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

I went to Atlantic City with a backpack filled with $150,000 in cash. I came back with this 10,000 word story.

The Rise and Fall of the Professional Sports Bettor

Gambling on sports has never been more high-stakes or more accessible. But with the invasion of Europe-based companies in the game, the pros are feeling squeezed and routinely getting banned from...

www.theringer.com

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

Great to see democrats and republicans in the senate working together

Craig Caplan

@CraigCaplan

2 years

6-87: Senate rejected Sanders (I-VT) motion to instruct their negotiators with the House that semiconductor manufacturing companies receiving federal aid in the science and tech research funding bill don't block their employees from unionizing and outsource their jobs.

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@missmayn Did you know about the rides

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

@marcorubio

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

When I tweeted that The NY Times should endorse BOFA this is not what I meant

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

When I was a teenager the police raided my house in the middle of the night at gunpoint looking for an armed robbery suspect. They didn’t find him and my mom screamed at the cops for scaring her kids. He was in my closet the whole time. I gave him clean clothes in the morning.

Aidan Moher

@adribbleofink

4 years

Tell me a story about yourself the sounds like a lie but is absolutely true.

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

@vornietom @taylordotbiz @kickstarter It's illegal but the penalty, IF you can prove it, is that they have to give you your job back. And it could take literally years to work its way through the NLRB before there is a decision. This is why it happens so often. There's little downside to the company.

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 months

Me and the kids

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@sethweathers Why would a beer use the bathroom

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

I literally stood up at the end

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

@vornietom @taylordotbiz @kickstarter The best way for fired union leaders to get their jobs back is for the union to win and their coworkers to demand they be hired back - which works far more often and faster than using the useless and toothless labor laws that are supposed to protect us

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

My kids school accidentally left a kid out of the fifth grade yearbook so they gave the kids stickers of that kid and told them to stick them over another kid who left the school before the end of the year

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@JoshuaPHilll Just walked in on my kid googling hitler. He says it's for class but I think he's lying.

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 months

Pittsburgh Penguins

@penguins

2 months

The Penguins announced today that the shipment carrying the Jagr bobbleheads for tonight’s game has been stolen en route to Pittsburgh. As a result, the bobbleheads will not be distributed at tonight’s game, but will be distributed at a later date.

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

Sorry, Republicans. The litterboxes stay.

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David Hill

@davehill77

6 years

@Vannaboy2189 @stephenganthony @WCWWorldwide @nobody_stop_me @DudleyandBob you'll pay for my healthcare and you'll love it

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

And we: always and everywhere spectators, turned not toward the Open but to the stuff of our lives. It downs us. We set it in order. It falls apart. We order it again and fall apart ourselves.

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

Only 8,000 people voted for Mayor Pete in his last election

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

Seems appropriate that this game about constant tedious and mindless work in service of climbing out of immense financial debt is now also about electoral politics

Makena Kelly

@kellymakena

4 years

SCOOP: The Biden-Harris campaign is rolling out official yard signs for Animal Crossing: New Horizons today. It's part of the campaign's broader initiative to meet voters where they are online.

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David Hill

@davehill77

6 years

Oh my god the truck fires are going to be amazing

Indivisible Network 🇺🇦

@IndivisibleNet

6 years

BREAKING NEWS: @Ford says it stands by NFL players. They believe players have a right to protest and that this right should be respected.

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@oneunderscore__ Concerning

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

I'm convinced there is a mole in the Buttigieg campaign trying to destroy it from the inside

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

@bethbourdon put her ass back in the cabinet has me on the floor

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David Hill

@davehill77

10 months

Some context for this bit: when Letterman went to CBS he had a deal that granted him ownership of his show. While Leno was an NBC employee, Letterman paid his writers himself. He agreed to the union's proposals and they stayed on while everyone else was struck.

Todd Spence

@Todd_Spence

10 months

During the WGA Strike of '07/'08, David Letterman did a bit on the AMPTP. As relevant now as it was then.

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

When The Ringer asked me to write about GameStop, I went looking for someone to profile who wasn't from WallStreetBets, someone who was in early, someone like the Brownfield guys from The Big Short. I found @MWM76 . And his story blew me away.

The Beach Bum Who Beat Wall Street and Made Millions on GameStop

Mike McCaskill spent years scouring the stock market and betting on long shots. Then he found the opportunity that changed his life—and helped spark the mother of all short squeezes.

www.theringer.com

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David Hill

@davehill77

7 years

@uglemunn @shutupmikeginn @eivindtraedal Do you work for the torch company

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

The problem isn’t teens on TikTok the problem is parents on Facebook and I’ll die on this hill

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

Here's MF Doom when he was 19 years old testifying to the US Senate in defense of the National Voter Registration Act

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

@GraceGThomas I thought at first the math couldn't possibly be right but I ran the numbers myself and got the exact same answer so it checks out

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David Hill

@davehill77

9 months

@AndrewDLewis It’s shameful enough to cross the picket line but to brag about it seems particularly cruel and gross. Not sure who you’re hoping to impress with this

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

Nobody has ever been as good at their job as the person who wrote the unsolved mysteries theme song

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David Hill

@davehill77

6 years

@BenSasse the difference between America and most nations across history is we get to make up whatever happy horseshit we want to believe about our past

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 years

I love that Trump gave Cruz $5,000 and Rubio sent him a book to beg for money. These guys are all such slobs. They deserve each other.

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

Congratulations to all the people who took a proud and principled stand against guaranteeing health care as a right to all citizens because it would cost too much money. The future is yours. Go forth and prosper.

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

Bret Stephens is doing that whole “bet you won’t say it to my face” thing but if anyone did say it to his face he’d write a column about the left using violence to intimidate him or whatever

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

Here’s Bloomberg’s house in the hamptons

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

I’m catching up on Mare of Easttown and I’m pleased to see they are continuing the long proud tradition of tv shows depicting small towns with several media outlets and large press conferences for local news

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

Congratulations to the Phoenix Suns

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 months

My brother in law who thinks he’s funny

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

Nothing but respect for my president

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 years

So comforting to know there are 50 pissed off homeless bats flying around my neighborhood rn

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David Hill

@davehill77

7 years

If only we had another day for them but what would we even call it

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

Jason Rapert preaching about not being a “slave to fear” during a maskless service in arkansas weeks ago. Today he’s in the hospital with COVID-19 and pneumonia

Arkansans Against SHS

@ARCOVIdiots

4 years

Maskless State Senator @jasonrapert joined to preach hyper partisan nonsense... 🤦‍♂️ #ARCOVIdiot #ARCOVIDFail FULL VIDEO:

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David Hill

@davehill77

10 years

@realDonaldTrump run for mayor of Atlantic City

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

@atdanwhite You really need to wait two weeks first

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

@micsolana Coal mine owners didn’t think those miners were exploited and were pretty lucky to have their jobs too

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

I wrote about “5dimes Tony” aka Sean Creighton, a West Virginian who went to Costa Rica and became a major international bookmaker. Last year he was kidnapped and hasn’t been seen since.

five dimes | Victory Journal

Sean Creighton left West Virginia for Costa Rica and made a fortune as a bookie. Then he vanished without a trace.

victoryjournal.com

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

Sell the team

NEW YORK KNICKS

@nyknicks

3 years

Tell us you're a Knick fan without telling us you're a Knick fan.

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

They are playing “business” and I think it’s a job interview. She asked him “what is your biggest weakness” and he said “being tickled”

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David Hill

@davehill77

5 years

@benshapiro we don't follow you for sports please stick to racism

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

@O3jfrye @notgaetti @BobFile @twuench @RickWrona @GDBJr5 I think you may have posted the wrong video because this is a video of someone celebrating a home run

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 years

When I retweet myself

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

My 5yo got in trouble for saying "deez nuts" to kids on the bus today and Katie is currently downstairs explaining to him what deez nuts means. "deez like these." "these testicles?" "Yes. These testicles. It isn't very funny, is it?" "It's kinda funny."

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

It was only because of a planned film adaptation of Lucky that this man was exonerated. One of the films producers began to doubt he was guilty and hired a private investigator. Absolutely incredible.

Man Is Exonerated in Rape Case Described in Alice Sebold’s Memoir (Published 2021)

Anthony J. Broadwater was convicted of the 1981 attack in Syracuse, N.Y., in a case the district attorney and a state judge agreed was flawed.

www.nytimes.com

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David Hill

@davehill77

2 years

@emmma_camp_ @nytimes I’m sorry you went to college and felt uncomfortable. I dream of a world where no college student ever has to feel uncomfortable ever again.

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David Hill

@davehill77

8 years

I hope they get to keep the $800 and not share it with some jerk bat boss sitting on his ass somewhere.

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

No sports means The Ringer let me write about chess again. This is our moment, indoor kids.

The Quarantine Chess Tournament That Could Change the Game Forever

After the FIDE Candidates tournament was postponed due to the coronavirus, world champion Magnus Carlsen decided to take things into his own hands. His version of chess could speed the game up...

www.theringer.com

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David Hill

@davehill77

1 year

@McMullenForMO Do you twirl that thing while you wait for the train to run over the lady you tied to the tracks

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David Hill

@davehill77

4 years

My old boss sent me a dm on Facebook saying she was fifth in line to get my book at the library. Now don’t get me wrong I love libraries. But if you never let me use my PTO, took credit for all my ideas and then said no when I asked for a raise, I think you should pay full list

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David Hill

@davehill77

3 years

@AndrewFeinberg