ally @missmayn Twitter profile

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ally

@missmayn

8 months

don’t worry guys. the climate change hurricanes will put out the climate change fires.

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@Beko

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@missmayn

6 years

If I can’t go to Planned Parenthood for a routine pap smear without being screamed at and harassed by Christian protestors then Stephen Miller shouldn’t be able to eat his fucking salad without being called an asshole.

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@missmayn

1 year

it's actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing and so many people are still like, no thanks the suffering is what makes it special.

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@missmayn

5 years

I think Christian moms who abort their 14-year-old LGBT kids from their homes should go to prison for 99 years.

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@missmayn

1 year

Last year my boyfriend and I moved in together but we have our own bedrooms/bathrooms and I’d like to report it is fucking amazing.

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@missmayn

1 year

thanks to netflix everyone born after 1998 is about to learn what a torrent is.

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@missmayn

5 years

Hey, everyone in media, stop saying and printing "sex with underage women." Underage women are children.

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@missmayn

5 years

Last year lettuce killed more Americans than undocumented immigrants so it's a good thing we're halting food inspections over a wall that won't work.

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@missmayn

6 years

Kavanaugh was nominated by a candidate who lost the popular vote by 3 million+ votes. The 49 Senators who voted 'No' on Kavanaugh represent 181.8 million Americans. The 51 Senators who voted 'Yes' represent 143.2 million. Our political system is broken.

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@missmayn

1 year

meal prep is such a joke like who is spending their thursdays eating four-day-old leftovers.

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@missmayn

5 years

"Sex with underage women" is a weird way of saying "raping children."

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@missmayn

6 years

This may be my favorite.

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@missmayn

1 month

when I was 22 I was into this dude who was 36 and he said I was great but too young for him and I got so fucking mad and accused him of being patronizing and now that I’m 36 I owe that man an apology..

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@missmayn

6 years

There's been 32 days of peaceful protest outside the White House, but without twitter I wouldn't know they were happening. The 14 nazis who showed up in Charlottesville last week got weeks of breathless coverage. Journalists, do better.

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@AdamParkhomenko

6 years

32 days and still noisy as hell

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@missmayn

24 days

$70k/yr is considered low-income. $20/hr is only $41,600/yr if you work full-time and never take time off. $20/hr only sounds high because we’ve been told over and over it’s too high by the same businesses making record profits.

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@missmayn

5 years

I'm going to start addressing evangelical Christians like they talk at gay people: "Yeah, I just don't agree with your lifestyle." "Your beliefs are simply a phase." "I respect you, just not how you live your life." "You shouldn't be allowed to get married."

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@missmayn

1 year

I think a lot about how my grandpa was the sole provider for his wife and four kids, he built a 4-bedroom house with a vegetable garden on a hill in the New England suburbs, put his kids through college, took family vacations every year and retired at 62. and he was a mAiLmAN.

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@missmayn

3 months

i personally love open source flight tracking since i live in a low income part of LA where cops from other jurisdictions bring their helicopters and do low altitude joyrides that are banned in theirs. you bet your ass they stopped after i called and lit them up a few times.

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@missmayn

1 month

if you’re on a boeing flight it’s not cringe anymore to clap when the plane lands.

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@missmayn

6 years

Who wants to tell this bitch she’s in New Jersey

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@KaitMarieox

6 years

Thank you New York for being so awful that I can't even protect myself with my handgun in your crime-ridden city 🙃 At least your pizza is good though

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@missmayn

6 years

The most ridiculous tv trope is friends getting together for breakfast before work.

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@missmayn

5 years

I don't know how many times I"m going to have to repeat this: Fourteen-year-olds cannot be prostitutes Fourteen-year-olds cannot be prostitutes Fourteen-year-olds cannot be prostitutes Just because someone gave their rape victim money does not make them a sex worker.

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@missmayn

6 months

Norwegians making us look stupid as hell and we totally deserve it.

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@missmayn

6 years

Women's careers are hurt more by having babies than men's are for sexually assaulting coworkers.

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@missmayn

8 months

a fucked up scary thing about older christians is how a lot of them truly, deeply believe their big emotions and strong opinions come directly from god when they actually came from lead poisoning.

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@missmayn

6 years

If I'm a murderer for aborting a 5-week-old zygote then what do we call the people who enable mass shootings, let people die from lack of healthcare, pollute our environment, peddle oxycontin and shoot unarmed civilians?

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@missmayn

6 years

It would be nice if a Supreme Court nominee were scrutinized as hard a guy who was shot in his own apartment.

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@missmayn

6 years

In the running for best sign:

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@missmayn

5 months

Times twitter was the most fun, in no particular order: Queen’s death Covfefe Big boat stuck in canal Fake verified brands (free insulin) Titanic submersible Trump getting covid Alabama dock brawl

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@missmayn

1 year

my theory is suburbanites fucking love Disney World because it’s their chance to to enjoy walkable dining and entertainment experiences with convenient mass transit without having to see homeless people.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump has endorsed 11 Republicans running for Governor, 31 House candidates and 13 Senate candidates and I've screenshot every one of them and will let him know every one that loses.

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@missmayn

1 month

'people get more conservative as they get older' doesn't apply to the younger generations because the truth is 'people get more conservative as they get richer' and that's not us babe.

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@missmayn

6 years

Being denied a loan because of your race is worse. Having a higher maternal death rate because of your race is worse. Having your hands up and still getting murdered by police is worse.

John Whitehouse

@existentialfish

6 years

Fox News guest: "There is nothing worse than being called a racist. There is nothing worse for you career, there's nothing worse for you as a person"

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@missmayn

9 months

aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

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@missmayn

6 years

Maybe millennials aren't into Hooters because they're waiting to get married and use dating apps and have internet porn and weren't shepherded into a loveless marriage with 2.5 kids in the prime of their lives and now need to ogle hot waitresses to get their sad kicks.

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@missmayn

6 years

My friend just died from childbirth complications so don’t ever fucking tell a woman to “just have the baby.” Devastated.

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@missmayn

7 years

This is the best thing you’ll see today. God, I love the internet.

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@missmayn

2 months

we bailed out the major airlines to the tune of $53 BILLION and three years later their doors and landing gears are falling off. great job everybody.

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@missmayn

6 years

Today, Nike stock closed at $83/share, an all time high for the company.

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@missmayn

1 month

ten years ago making $50k was a good job and now it means you have to use a food bank but congrats on the stock market being up.

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@missmayn

9 months

i don’t have any good dating advice because i once met this guy who was younger than me and totally broke and not at all my type but he could fuck and had good weed and snacks so we kept hanging out and we just celebrated our ten year anniversary lol.

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@missmayn

1 year

railroad labor: we told you this was going to happen right-wing: this is a massive conspiracy! railroad labor: we predicted exactly this right-wing: nefarious forces are at play! railroad labor: this happens a lot and will keep happening. right-wing: too many coincidences!

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@missmayn

5 years

You might not believe this but when people of different genders come to my house they all have to use the same bathroom.

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@missmayn

1 year

@__mersace yeah people think they’re fake diamonds but it’s like no they’re totally real, the only difference is they’re sourced from someone in a lab coat instead of an exploited child.

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@missmayn

6 years

Tucker Carlson always looks like he’s getting sex explained to him for the first time.

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@missmayn

5 months

there hasn't been a new christmas movie good enough to watch every holiday season in over 20 years.

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@missmayn

5 years

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer went on vacation while AOC went to the border where she's currently forcing herself into the cages so she can hear migrants' stories. The Democratic Leadership needs to resign.

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@missmayn

5 years

There are eight Republican Senators running for re-election in 2020 who have **NO DEMOCRATIC CHALLENGER.** Democrats need to compete hard and compete everywhere. Depriving voters of a Democratic option is not acceptable.

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@missmayn

6 years

Instead of a space force can we just get healthcare??

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@missmayn

1 month

I was correct to like him though. dude was a real one.

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@missmayn

7 months

absolutely fucked how California elected the most diverse, most liberal congress in our state’s history but all progress is being blocked by a governor who only cares about how it will play in Iowa five fucking years from now.

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@missmayn

1 year

future generations will be thinking about how both of their grandparents worked for billion-dollar corporate conglomerates, yet, could never afford to buy a house or take time off and are still working at 92.

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@missmayn

7 years

Fox News going to incredible lengths to make Steve Bannon look good.

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@missmayn

3 months

the air dispatches for LAPD, LASD, pasadena PD and long beach PD all know my voice now lol. *sigh* Hi, ally. Yeah, I'll take a look please hold.

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@missmayn

3 months

she says 'can you hold for a minute?' the copter IMMEDIATELY LEAVES and she comes back on to apologize and say 'sorry, they took off without notifying us.' bitch WHY ARE YOU EVEN DOWN HERE STAY IN PASADENA.

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@missmayn

3 months

this one was particularly egregious because when i called pasadena air control she said 'i don't have anyone in the air right now' and i said, 'huh that's weird because i'm outside looking at the tail right now and you can hear how loud it is through the phone.'

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@missmayn

6 years

Americans killed by Nazis in 2017: Heather Heyer Taliesin Namkai Meche Ricky Best Richard Collins III Timothy Caughman Srinivas Kuchibhotla Buckley Kuhn-Fricker Scott Fricker Americans killed by anti-fascists: 0

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@missmayn

7 years

Trump’s transition team is fourteen white guys, his daughter, and a black man who doesn’t believe in dinosaurs.

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@missmayn

5 years

Laura Loomer is currently screaming about the need for a border wall at Nancy Pelosi's house after illegally jumping her fence. You cannot make this shit up.

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@missmayn

3 months

@PerpetuallySMDH gotta use my white privilege to call out bad cop behavior with my full throat.

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@missmayn

7 days

the plan is to arrest everyone on the streets and then pay private prisons ten times what it would cost to house them.

The Associated Press

@AP

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Record numbers in the US are homeless. Can cities fine them for sleeping in parks and on sidewalks?

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@missmayn

5 years

Just scrolled through the "AOC Resign" hashtag and cannot figure out what she did to piss off so many anime characters.

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@missmayn

6 years

Women are only to be believed when they’re vouching for a man who’s been accused of sexual assault.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Leah Vukmir, has lost to Tammy Baldwin, the only out lesbian in the U.S. Senate. Womp womp @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

1 year

@RealRodSteel cubic zirconium is a synthetic diamond. lab-made diamonds are real diamonds, certified and everything.

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@missmayn

5 years

When I adopted my dog ten years ago we picked June 14th as her birthday. If you rather celebrate a very good girl today instead of bad old men, feel free to wish Tiva a Happy Birthday!

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@missmayn

5 years

I don’t want 80% off sneakers, I want affordable healthcare.

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@missmayn

6 years

Olivia Munn with the truth y'all

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Jim Renacci, has lost to Sherrod Brown in the Ohio Senate race. He got crushed. @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Kevin Yoder, has lost to Native American and openly gay attorney Sharice Davids in Kansas' 3rd District. #MAGA @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

7 years

@KendallHQ_ @MrsSOsbourne @KylieJenner @KendallJenner @KendallandKylie Also, learn what the hell "shade" is. Shade is subtle and diabolical. Sharon DRAAAAGGGGED them.

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@missmayn

5 years

What they don't teach you in college is no matter how smart or hardworking you are you'll never surpass the earning power of an absolute dumbass with one successful family member.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Keith Rothfus, has lost to Conor Lamb and Democrats flip the district blue. @realDonaldTrump called this race a "must win."

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@missmayn

5 years

Abortion is not KILLING A BABY. Abortions are only performed up until viability, before a fetus can survive outside of the womb. Fetuses are quite literally part of women's bodies because they *cannot exist* separate from her. No one is throwing full term babies in the trash.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate and disgraced Vice Chairman of the bogus Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity, Kris Kobach, has lost to Laura Kelly in the race for Kansas Governor. @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

6 years

Women: Please don't whip out your dick at the office. Some Men: I GUESS WE CAN'T BE IN THE SAME ROOMS AS WOMEN ANYMORE

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@missmayn

1 year

@firefire100 no debt and never needed a side hustle! wild.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Bob Hugin, has lost to Bob Menendez in the New Jersey Senate race. Sad. @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

1 year

@Awesomehylian see this is the correct way to do it. meanwhile ppl toss chicken enchiladas in a tupperware to eat five days later and are advising other people this is a good idea! I feel insane!

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@missmayn

6 years

Ted Cruz is one of those Men In Black space bugs struggling under its human skin

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Patrick Morrissey, has lost to Joe Manchin in the West Virginia Senate race. Trump's "Rally Speech" ineffective. @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

1 year

@MyGreenTears_ they’re about 40% cheaper than earth diamonds and are grown the same way but they’ve reduced the process to about a month vs. millions of years

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@missmayn

6 years

Those dads who flash their guns and threaten their daughters' boyfriends also wouldn't believe their daughters if they said they were assaulted.

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@missmayn

1 year

gotta share a few more pics because the house he built really was awesome.

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@missmayn

5 years

Make sure to teach your kids, especially your daughters, the difference between being nice and being kind. Kindness is a healthy form of empathy. Grooming girls to be “nice” is intended to make them passive, overly accommodating and quiet.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Dan Donovan, has lost to Max Rose in New York's 11th congressional district, another pickup for House Democrats. @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

5 years

Where does bailing on a ceremony to honor American soldiers who made the greatest sacrifice fall in relation to respectfully kneeling at a football game?

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@missmayn

3 months

@doink_dude I ask if there’s any major crime event in the area and if i should keep my kids inside (I don’t have kids). When they say no I ask what’s the reason for their helicopter circling at low altitude then? Gets them to leave every time.

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@missmayn

6 years

I honestly rather pay 10% more in taxes and get free healthcare than doing what I currently am which is paying 5%-10% of my income for health insurance and still playing the “am I really sick enough to go to the doctor because it’s so expensive” game.

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@missmayn

5 years

If you want to dramatically reduce abortions maybe start with a society that doesn’t let unplanned pregnancies ruin women’s lives.

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Erik Paulsen, has lost his MN-3 seat to Dean Phillips despite Trump's "Strong Endorsement." @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

6 years

When 17 kids and teachers are murdered at school the GOP does nothing. When a woman needs an abortion the GOP "cares" about life. Remember that.

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@missmayn

1 year

as requested:

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, John Cox, loses heavily to Gavin Newson for the California Governorship, despite Trump believing he could make a big impact in the state. Embarrassing. @realdonaldtrump

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Rod Blum, has lost to 29-year-old Abby Finkenauer in Iowa's 1st congressional district! Trump tweeted "We need Rod." @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, Randy Hultgren, has lost his seat in Illinois' 14th congressional district to Lauren Underwood. @realDonaldTrump

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed candidate, John James, doesn't have the stamina to beat U.S. Senator, Debbie Stabenow, in the state of Michigan. Another @realDonaldTrump -crowned Loser.

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@missmayn

5 years

"I'm not really into politics," is something people say when they're so privileged their daily lives won't change based on who's elected and it's not something they should be proud of or tell anyone.

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@missmayn

5 years

I’m glad social media platforms have been vigilant about our safety by flagging women’s nipples but can they please move on to curbing white nationalist murderers

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@missmayn

5 years

Trump-backed, "very special" Scott Walker loses re-election bid for Wisconsin Governor. Another losing pick by a confused Trump. @realDonaldTrump

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