Will Close @Will2Close Twitter profile

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Will Close

@Will2Close

1 month

The eyes of a man who has not slept. But, we did in fact make it off the bench. Dreamland.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

To all those going up to Edinburgh; May your anxiety be manageable, your reviewers be older than 17 and your portions from Mosque Kitchen always plentiful. You’re all very brave little soldiers 🙏

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

Bill Posters is innocent.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 months

Oliviers 2024 tonight. Big game. Biggest of the season. Not expected to make it off the bench, but delighted to have made the squad. Come on (Dear) England…!!

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Will Close

@Will2Close

1 month

One week on. Thank you for all the lovely messages. I have eaten a lot of pizza. 📸 Danny Kaan

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 months

Well. That’s something I never thought I’d see. What a bloody dream. ❤️ thank you Harry.

Olivier Awards

@OlivierAwards

3 months

The nominees for Best Actor in a Supporting Role are: @Will2Close for @DearEnglandPlay #PaulHilton for @EnemyPlayLDN @GilesTerera for Clyde’s #LukeThompson for @ALittleLifePlay #ZubinVarla for @ALittleLifePlay #OlivierAwards

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Will Close

@Will2Close

9 months

Joy to say I’m officially sliding back into Kane’s boots for the West End. Achtung baby. Let’s get in the mixer.

National Theatre

@NationalTheatre

9 months

We're delighted to announce the cast for @DearEnglandPlay as it transfers to the West End ⚽ #DearEngland opens at the Prince Edward Theatre from 9 October.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

This is a very nice list to be on. I shall be celebrating by inhaling a reduced to clear Easter egg.

BBC Writers

@bbcwritersroom

4 years

We are delighted to announce the 50 scripts and their writers which have made the longlist for our #InterConnected opportunity. Full details over on our blog

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 months

Merry Christmassss from Dressing Room 11, Dear England Towers. 4 days of gravy begins. Now.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 months

What fucking lovely news on a festive Thursday. Privilege to be a name among so many excellent people. ✌️

WhatsOnStage

@WhatsOnStage

6 months

The #WOSAwards nominees for Best Supporting Performer in a Play are... ▪️ Michele Austin for The Effect ▪️ Will Close for Dear England ▪️ Bryony Corrigan for I, Daniel Blake ▪️ Luke Thompson for A Little Life ▪️ Zubin Varla for A Little Life ▪️ Anjana Vasan for A Streetcar Named

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Will Close

@Will2Close

14 days

Palace (away) on a Wednesday afternoon.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 days

Thank you to Rankin and Fujifilm for the @OlivierAwards portrait. 🙌 (This is how I always look now.)

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Will Close

@Will2Close

1 year

Intrinsically delighted to say I get to be that Harry Kane. Roll on a big summer. Will try and do you proud, King Kane. 💪

Time Out Theatre

@TimeOutTheatre

1 year

Casting has been announced for the National Theatre’s James Graham-penned Gareth Southgate opus Dear England and on some level it’s just intrinsically funny that Harry Kane is going to be a character in a play

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 months

Well. After 170-ish shows and 200,000-ish tickets sold, @DearEnglandPlay came to a close on Saturday. What a joy. Thank you for having me @NationalTheatre @mrJamesGraham It was just the best. And in true penalty style, I will miss it…❤️

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

@baddanadanabad Phallic bag is strong

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 months

Delighted that Mediocre White Male is having its debut on @BBCRadio4 as play of the day this afternoon. What a journey for the bastard. Here’s me getting ready to perform it in a cupboard a couple of years ago. LISTEN AT 2:15pm. (Or anytime afterwards)

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

Well, my wife is 8 months pregnant and has just covered up a picture of us with a photograph of her and Cobra from Gladiators in 1995. So I think I’m doing great.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 months

Went to the @WhatsOnStage Awards last night. We didn’t win, but I did get a really big tin of crisps and took this picture in the Palladium toilets. This. Is. Glamour.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 months

Very lovely indeed. 🥃

National Theatre Live

@NTLive

4 months

Congrats to Dear England and Vanya for their @BroadwayWorldUK award wins🏆🎭 🌟Dear England (Best New Production of a Play) 🌟Will Close (Best Supporting Performer in a New Production of a Play) 🌟Andrew Scott (Best Leading Performer in a New Production of a Play)

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

OLD WHITE GUYS. THE MOVIE. “You’ve seen them in everything else, now see them in a movie. Again.”

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Will Close

@Will2Close

9 years

Just saw Hamlet at the Barbican. The lad playing Hammy will be a big star in five years.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

I just changed my son’s nappy. He’d done a shit. Fine. He was then sick in his hair. He then shit again. He put his hand in the shit and rubbed it in his eyes. He was sick in his hair again. And then he pissed all over himself. How’s your day going?

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

So good to get up Arthur’s Seat on my day off and enjoy this legendary view. Really fills you with a sense of wonder.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 months

After 160 shows of Dear England, we’re into the final week… 8 games left. 😭

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Will Close

@Will2Close

10 months

Not a big fan of sincerity, but final time on the Olivier tonight with Dear England. Thank you @NationalTheatre for ticking this off my bucket list. Harry, it’s been an honour.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

8 years

@shaunwkeaveny Keaveny, Fiennes is cramping your style. Have a word mate.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

This car was parked under a tree near my house at the start of lockdown. It literally gets shittier everyday. We are all this car.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

We’re all going to feel so embarrassed if it turns out the meaning of life was written on the little instruction books you get in the paracetamol box.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 months

Thanks to everyone who has had nice things to say about MWM. It's a project which means a lot to me and @jovonmal . If you missed it, listen here: 👇 ALSO- delighted to say we have a new commission with @BBCRadio4 so expect a new show before too long..!

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Will Close

@Will2Close

10 months

Mediocre White Male recording at the BBC today. Thanks to @AssemblyFest @ParkTheatre @KingsHeadThtr and @metalrabbitprod for all supporting the show on the journey so far. Onward. Harrrrrrrrk?!

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

I am the titular tit in this new one man play. An actual, live show...And it's going to Edinburgh. MEDIOCRE WHITE MALE. 4th - 15th August @AssemblyFest Image by horrendously talented @_otherrichard PLS SEND PPL. IT COULD JUST BE ME & GREYFRIARS BOBBY.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

1 year

Well, 50 shows later, we’re at the last Mediocre White Male. Thank you to all the venues that backed this thing and all the people who came. One last blowout tonight @KingsHeadThtr before we adapt it for @BBCRadio4 🤍 Goodbye for now, you old bastard.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

this is getting a bit mad.

Broadway Baby

@broadwaybaby

3 years

REVIEW: Mediocre White Male ★★★★★ "This show is a candid and crumbling look at the male fragility, expertly brought forth in an hour of exceptional theatre. " #EdFringe

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

Very overexcited to say that Mediocre White Male will finally have its first London run @ParkTheatre in May!! Rearranged from @VAULTFestival . Got plinth. Got facepaint. Need audience. PLEASE BUY TKTS. 🙏🙏 (Or it's just me bollocking an empty room)

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Will Close

@Will2Close

11 months

A gent on and off the field.

Gary Lineker

@GaryLineker

11 months

Saw #DearEngland at @NationalTheatre last night and it’s a triumph. A thoughtful, moving and often hilarious story of @England ’s revival under Southgate. Great to meet the brilliant cast & playwright, James Graham after. And well played @ahungrycentaur on nailing east mids

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Will Close

@Will2Close

11 months

A new comedy show written by own cack hand and made with excellent people inc. @ThatGirlRose will be on @sohotheatre in August. I can only apologise in advance. Book tkts if you want to hear us chat solid bollocks for an hour. Olive & Teddy are BACK.

Great British Mysteries: BAD ALTITUDE - Soho Theatre

sohotheatre.com

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

Mediocre White May has come to an end! After 10 shows across 3 venues. Thanks to @CORNERSTONEfun @ParkTheatre @WardrobeTheatre for having us and all the people who wanted to talk about it afterwards. I have a feeling The MWM will be back… @metalrabbitprod @jovonmal HARK.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

So the play we’ve been writing is having a rehearsed reading @ThePleasance on 10th Feb. If anyone could come along and see if it tickles some fancies that would be really rather useful.... 🙏👻

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 years

I am in Edinburgh for the month doing this silly thing about the Loch Ness Monster and Dyson hand-driers. Tkts baby:

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Very proud of an Offie nom and to be on this list. I will be toasting this success with cocktail sausages and gin in a can. I know how to live.

OffWestEnd / Offies / OffComm / OnFest / OneOff

@OffWestEndCom

3 years

#OffFest nom for theatre from Edinburgh Fringe @edfringe : #NewNoms for “Mediocre White Male” from Will Close @Will2Close & Joe von Malachowski @jovonmal at Assembly Roxy @assemblyfest @ShedinburghFest – congrats! More on OffFest at

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 months

Thank you ⁦ @Telegraph ⁩ 👻 🙏

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

My niece is playing King #2 in her Nativity show this week. Trying to work on her Meisner technique but she just wants to talk about myrrh and the size of her crown. Bet this is what running the National feels like.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Very pleased to say MEDIOCRE WHITE MALE will be getting its first London run @VAULTFestival 25th - 30th January 2022! Spread the word if you can..? 🙏 HARRRRRRK. ★★★★★ Broadway Baby ★★★★★ Ed Fringe Review ★★★★★ Gonzo ★★★★ Daily Mail

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

Found an old Mother’s Day card I wrote for mum approx age 7. She really was as funny as Eastenders, and as fresh as a fish. Maybe even fresher.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

10 years

Just saw Richard Armitage blow the roof off Old lady Vic. Proctor, Proctor. Best Crucible I've ever seen. @oldvictheatre

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 months

Got to the pub early but don’t want to be first to arrive so now browsing Sainsbury’s like it’s the lost library of Alexandria.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

In the Pleasance Courtyard. There is a boy with a Hot Dog bigger than his head and a woman weeping next to a pile of flyers. It has begun.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

Back from honeymoon. Back in London. A new year! Immediately sit in chewing gum on the bus. 2018- I’m concerned.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

The very serious (stupid) bit of comedy (nonsense) we made last year is coming to @sohotheatre in May!! (JESUS CHRIST) If some (all) of you could come that would be Loch Ness Marvellous (👌) Some (loads) tickets are available here: 🙏

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Will Close

@Will2Close

1 year

IT ENDS. Mediocre White Male is returning to @KingsHeadThtr for a final week of shows, 12th - 18th March. Last chance to see it. Let's give it some guts. @metalrabbitprod @jovonmal

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

Metropolitan fatherhood. Evening tableau.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

There’s a small boy with an adult’s briefcase on the bus next to me. He just opened it and the only thing inside is a large plastic Triceratops. I am incredibly jealous.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

10 months

📯 ONE WEEK until our shows @sohotheatre Is there a script? Very nearly! Have we rehearsed? We’re rehearsing! Will there be laxatives? You bet! 🎟️🎟️🎟️

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

The Big ‘Burgh Cometh. 1-27 in Pleasance Below at 4:45pm, I shall be here, baring my arse soul. I’VE LEARNT A TUDOR DANCE ROUTINE WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

A small klaxon 📯 For anyone who liked/tolerated the Great British Mysteries shows with @ThatGirlRose , we are confused and thrilled to say we’ve had an ACE grant to make a new show. And writing begins today. Expect obscure musical references and the cheeses of south west France.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

8 years

Great after 6 weeks away to come back to the uneasy embrace of the @shaunwkeaveny show. Proof, that if it's broken, don't bother fixing it.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

26 days

Friday night and home alone… you know what that means.. 😈 That’s right…a whale shark documentary and bed by 9:20pm.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

my mate talks a lot about stamp duty a lot

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

#TweetTheMedia MEDIOCRE WHITE MALE @AssemblyFest Roxy, 6pm. A statue rises. A narrative falls apart. A new play about ancient history, recent past and lies, lies, lies.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

My wife took me to the Horniman Museum last week. I kept referring to it as the ‘Horny Man’ Museum, and that’s what I now call it when we talk about it. I can tell by the way my wife looks at me that she thinks it’s a really funny joke. I’m so cool. 😎

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Will Close

@Will2Close

8 years

Our new film has arrived! And I play God. This is not a healthy role for my ego.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

After a creative process of over two years, Mediocre White Male will open @AssemblyFest in @edfringe today, at 6pm. The road has been long…The post show pint will be sweet. HARK. @jovonmal

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

If you want to know what it’s like going to a party in your 30s, I’ve just spent 15 minutes talking to a guy I’d never met before about how easy it is to overwater succulents. 👍

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Well, it’s the final day of Mediocre White Male @AssemblyFest today. 6pm at the Roxy. It’s been an absolute ball. Once more.. 👻 HARK 👻

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 months

When I’m walking down the pavement just in front of somebody else and I turn a corner, I like to silently sprint for a few metres and then carry on walking again so that when they turn the corner it looks like I did a tiny time travel.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Just finished the first draft of my first novel. Distinct possibility that it’s total dross. But it’s my dross, all the same. I shall be having a mint cornetto to celebrate.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

my mate doesn't believe in June 21st

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 months

For Black Boys at the Garrick easily one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Fucking great. And when I grow up, I’m going to marry @albert_magashi

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 months

Pleasure to speak to @BritishComedy about all things Kane- with a wee bit of MWM and Mountain climbing sprinkled in for good measure ⚽️🧗🏼👻👌

Dear England's Will Close on becoming Harry Kane - Balls Etc - British Comedy Guide

He's taking the West End by storm - as a tragi-comic Harry Kane. Will Close reveals how he filled the boots of the England captain.

www.comedy.co.uk

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

if you've ever wondered what it's like trying to do a self-tape with your baby in the flat, this is my life.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

‘Your self tapes look great, you must have a really good setup at home.’ ‘...’

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Mediocre White Male is running for a couple of nights @WardrobeTheatre , on 29th & 30th October! First shows since our nomination for Best Live Show @edfringe !! ★★★★★ Broadway Baby ★★★★★ Ed Fringe Review ★★★★★ Gonzo ★★★★ Daily Mail

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

Here we arsing go..

Metal Rabbit Productions

@metalrabbitprod

2 years

We're so excited that #MediocreWhiteMale is playing at @CORNERSTONEfun next week, on Thursday 5th May! ‘A candid and crumbling look at male fragility expertly brought forth... exceptional theatre’ ★★★★★ - Broadway Baby Book now:

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

On the Metropolitan line heading to Chesham. A chicken just walked up the carriage. Not even weird anymore.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

2 WEEKS TO GO until MWM returns for what might be its final run @KingsHeadThtr For all those who have said kind things about this show during our time @AssemblyFest or @ParkTheatre - please do spread the word one last time! Let's burn this castle down.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

Very delighted to be a finalist in the Offies this year with Mediocre White Male. It just hurts that we should be on this week @VAULTFestival 😪 London venues! please step forward and sweep us up in your tender arms.

OffWestEnd / Offies / OffComm / OnFest / OneOff

@OffWestEndCom

2 years

#OFFFEST 2022 FINALISTS for live shows at Edinburgh Fringe 2020 @edfringe (2/2): MEDIOCRE WHITE MALE from Will Close @Will2Close & Joe von Malachowski @jovonmal at Assembly Roxy @AssemblyRoxy @assemblyfest @ShedinburghFest

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 years

Privilege to see the new Golem Squad @1927productions in action yesterday! Going to be bigger, better and more binary than ever before! 🐄🛎

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

My wife’s going for a haircut today and her appointment is 6 hours long. What do they do in there? ..You could get halfway through Mario 64 in that amount of time.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

There are office drinks taking place in the pub in which I’m standing. They just ordered 20 shots of tequila and 6 Jaegerbombs. Thank god for being a freelancer. We might not have much money but we don’t have to say: “Go on Gazza, have a Bomby” on a Wednesday night.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 years

Wearing a different deodorant under each armpit today. I bet this is what being a spy feels like.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

People say romance is dead but my wife text me this last night.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 years

What a lovely start for @ClubCloakDagger I'm having a Pukka Pie to celebrate. The sweet taste of optimism. 👌

Time Out Theatre

@TimeOutTheatre

7 years

Behold! Our top 14 comedians to see at this year's #edfringe

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Asked my one year old what his name is and he said ‘I am Crossiant Bucket’.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

10 months

My two year old instinctively recreating Remote Part artwork. So proud. @IdlewildtheBand @RoddyWoomble

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Will Close

@Will2Close

9 months

TONIGJT! TONIGHTUT! TONIGKT! Bad Altitude begins at @sohotheatre this very eve! And we run all week. Currently unsure on length of show or its quality! So come and find out with us!

Great British Mysteries: BAD ALTITUDE - Soho Theatre

sohotheatre.com

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Will Close

@Will2Close

8 years

Leaving Oz today with a fiancée and a rekindled passion for Neighbours. One of those 2 will play a significant role in my long term future.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

Just heard the Michael Jackson cover of Smooth Criminal. Leave it to Alien Ant Farm mate, that’s a classic.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 years

Edinburgh, goodbye again. You've been wonderful. But for now my liver, umbrella and rate of paracetamol consumption must rest. Adieu.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 months

Sort of right…right?

WhatsOnStage

@WhatsOnStage

7 months

We asked the Dear England cast and creatives to explain the offside rule, with varying levels of success! Watch our opening night video:

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Will Close

@Will2Close

3 years

Getting tiring seeing myself in the headlines erry damn day.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

Even if it’s for a gig, there’s only so many times you can carry around a Jacobean ruff before you come to the inescapable conclusion that you are in fact a dickhead.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

Was fortunate enough to be @KingsHeadThtr this week for press night of Outlying Islands. Hope it has a cracking run. Pagan sexual tension and @tommach dripping wet talking about guillemots. I really don’t know what else a production needs.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

6 years

Angela, I’m flattered but confused. How do I play? Is it like Zelda?

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Will Close

@Will2Close

1 year

Well, if the acting doesn’t work out I can always start a boyband with @LShep_Actor and @HandDarragh

Standard Culture

@ESCulture

1 year

James Graham’s latest play unearths the Shakespearean dramas within the great game, and finds an unlikely hero in Gareth Southgate ⚽

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Will Close

@Will2Close

7 years

Got married last week. Started a new Caffè Nero loyalty card this week. It's time to commit.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

I’ve got prepubescent facial hair, a humpback robe and a pig costume. It can only be @GBMysteries opening @ChiswickPlay this very eve. Come downnn!! We’re here all week. I’ll show you my curly tail.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

2 years

Final 5 performances of MWM @KingsHeadThtr this week. Don’t know when/if we will do this again live so this is your last chance to visit Frankie & Bennies..

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Will Close

@Will2Close

5 years

I am the titular tit.

PBJ Management

@pbjmanagement

5 years

PBJ's Will Close ( @Will2Close ) is bringing a show to Pleasance London! 'Mediocre White Male' is "A dark, comic monologue about ancient history and the lies we tell ourselves." Will takes the stage from the 12th November, and tickets are available here:

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Will Close

@Will2Close

8 years

Theatre bar. The 3 girls next to me have said 'we should do this more often' nine times in the last five minutes. I don't think they should.

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Will Close

@Will2Close

4 years

Hey UK Government- Just thinking, when this is all over, all of Europe needs to have like a central organisational body to protect us and represent us as a continent? And we should join it. And it could be called like the ‘Union of Europe’, or something like that?

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