Gary Shteyngart @Shteyngart Twitter profile

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 years

Wait, what the hell is happening now? Whatever it is, it's bullshit.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Dear France, we love you. Don’t fuck this up like we did.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Update: The fly has just checked into Walter Reed.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Sweden stood with us after Bowling Green. Today we stand with Sweden.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Audio recordings now detail Russian soldiers going on "safari" in Mariupol, hunting down children and shooting them in the legs "just for fun." Europeans, tell your leaders you don't want Russian energy in your homes, offices and cars. You are paying for Holocaust II.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Woke up to a New York Times op-ed about one group being intellectually superior to others and citing a paper co-authored by a white supremacist as evidence. The 2020s will be the most difficult decade in modern history. I hope we can face it with laughter and love.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Russian gas out of Germany. Hungary out of the EU. Ukraine into the EU.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Being on Post after Twitter is like coming over to a new friend's house in 5th grade and his Nice Mom serves you milk and cookies and you start to cry and she's like "What's wrong, honey?" and you're like "Nothing" and then her and Nice Dad shoot each other a look and

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Either the history books will teach the brief troubled presidency of Donald Trump as an object lesson or there will be no history books.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

What's interesting is that Russia officially has a GDP per capita that's much higher than Ukraine's. But common people live like shit because it's all stolen by the Putin gang.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Grandpa, I have to explain the GOP in 2020 for class, but I only have 14 seconds. Me:

Aaron Rupar

@atrupar

4 years

This is @RepGrothman *today* at the Wisconsin Republican convention (which was held in-person)

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

One of my strongest memories is the feeling of safety and warmth upon finally reaching JFK airport in 1979 as a Soviet refugee.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Stress-eating holubtsy, my favorite of my Ukrainian-born grandma’s dishes. Girl next to me wearing blue coveralls and yellow bandanna. Older waitress looks like she’s been crying all morning. Everyone is being super nice to her. NYC stands with Ukraine.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

S&P downgrades Russia's credit rating to CCCP.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Vitaliy Kim is the second coolest Ukrainian after Zelensky. So cool to see folks of Jewish and Korean descent taking out the Russian trash.

olexander scherba🇺🇦

@olex_scherba

2 years

#Mykolaiv governor: no orcs (Russians) in sight! That’s what I call a real Sunday! #StandWithUkraine #RussiaGoHome #россияоставайсядома #нетвойне

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

I had bigger crowds at my colonoscopy.

David Weigel

@daveweigel

4 years

Rally programming starting now. Here’s the scene outside.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

11 months

Honored to be promoted to Full Professor at the Columbia joint uptown. According to academic conventions I must now be addressed as Big Knowledge Daddy or the more archaic Your Fullness. And now back to grooming students…for success!

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

but it's the life you know, it's your family.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

A woke mob just burst into my well-cared-for split-level, took away my gas stove and my Tahoe, and injected me with the CRT. It can happen to anyone.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 years

My family was resettled by @HIASrefugees , one of the greatest organizations that has ever existed. Today more than ever, they deserve your support.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

9 years

Leonard Nimoy has died. I've set my phaser on "weep."

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

How do you politely say “shut the fuck up” in French?

Visegrád 24

@visegrad24

2 years

Interviewed by AFP today, Macron repeated “Russia must not be humiliated because we need to leave a window for diplomacy”. He also stated that France will mediate in the relations between Russia and Western countries once the war is over.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

What I don't understand is how do you negotiate with people who destroy a maternity hospital and bomb a theater full of people? How can you trust anything they say?

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

I haven’t seen this much freedom of speech since the Soviet Union.

John Scott-Railton

@jsrailton

1 year

Also suspended, Drew Harwell. It is very clear: journalists that cover Musk are being kicked off.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Nice Dad is like "is everything okay at your house?" and you're crying and snotting and you got chocolate chip all over your school shirt and Nice Mom is like "Listen, you can tell us anything" and you're like "it's nothing!" cause you don't want to get Elon in trouble, so you

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

When you get through all the lies, you simply have a president who is disloyal to his country.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Police in my hometown of St. Petersburg are beating women protestors in the middle of the street.

Андрей Пивоваров

@brewerov

2 years

Полиция в Петербурге избивает женщин прямо на проезжей части. Звери в форме.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

run outside and you get on your bike, and now you're crying and pedaling and you hear a car start up behind you, but you gotta get up the hill even though you know Elon's going to slap you for getting chocolate on your shirt, because it's better to be at home, where it sucks,

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Fact: The Obelisk of Wokeness is the world's tallest and wokest obelisk. Originally called the Washington Monument it was renamed to celebrate the defeat of Donald Trump & his racist minions in 2020.

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

Sen. Tom Cotton: "Are we going to tear the Washington Monument down? Are we going to rename it the Obelisk of Wokeness?"

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 months

My review of a dull book about a silly but dangerous man.

Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson review – arrested development

Walter Isaacson’s insight-free doorstop makes at least one thing clear: the richest man in the world has a lot of growing up to do

www.theguardian.com

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Dear @SenJohnMcCain , when you vote for Tillerson, you vote against Ukraine, the Baltic states, and America, to which I fled from the USSR.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

We should definitely let them know all our passwords, just to make sure we're not being hacked.

Josh Marshall

@joshtpm

7 years

This interchange is amazing. They're setting up a US-Russia "cyber unit" to make sure Russia doesn't interfere in any more elections.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Is the president on the mend? Is he desperately ill? If you don't know the answers to these questions, you just might be living under an authoritarian regime.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

3 years

John LeCarre was one of the greatest and most influential writers of the 20th Century, full stop. RIP.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 months

NYT: "Israeli security officials spent months trying to warn Mr. Netanyahu that the political turmoil caused by his domestic policies was weakening the country’s security and emboldening Israel’s enemies. The prime minister continued to push those policies." Israel's Trump

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

If you're a US-based Russian spy and you weren't invited to the Junior/Kushner meeting, you got to ask yourself what you're doing wrong.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Had to shoot my way through a whole bunch of Antifa roadblocks but it was worth it to get this fruity drink. #NYC

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

5 years

Went to a bookstore, bought a book, read it, loved it, looked at the back and realized I had blurbed it.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

This is very good advice.

The Halfway Post

@HalfwayPost

2 years

BREAKING: Donald Trump is telling all his supporters to boycott the midterm elections because of how the DOJ is treating him so unfairly.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

It is insane to think that Russia may have lost nearly as many troops during 6 months in Ukraine as the US lost in the entire Vietnam era.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

23 days

Last night should remind the GOP of all the Ukrainian blood on their hands.

Paul Niland

@PaulNiland

23 days

So if modern fighter jets are the best response to Iranian drones why was Ukraine told that we don't need modern fighter jets when those same drones have been wreaking havoc and causing death and misery here for 18 months?

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

FOX should learn from Soviet TV. When a coup is in progress start playing Swan Lake on a continuous loop. Amateurs.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

The person Trump shoved out of the way was the PM of Montenegro. The country had recently defied Russia to join NATO.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Dear Mexico, As you may have noticed, your neighbor to the north is completely fucked up. Please don't take it personally -The Sane Majority

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 years

I totally get the Nobel committee. Reading books is hard.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Wiping out a half trillion dollars just because you want Nathan Fielder to like you.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

One of the first acts of the Biden administration should be a relief bill for satirists and all the income we've lost the last four years.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

5 months

Editor of Haaretz not mincing words.

Esther Solomon

@EstherSolomon

5 months

Blatant antisemite & publisher of antisemitism Elon Musk should be persona non grata in Israel. Instead, Netanyahu - plumbing new depths of amoral sycophancy - gifts him a PR visit to the kibbutzim devastated by Hamas. Profane, venal, bilious, both of them

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

A magazine asks if I want to travel on a train "in the manner of Anna Karenina?" Yes, up to a point.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

5 years

They call it "Fox & Friends."

Victor LaValle

@victorlavalle

5 years

I would love a show where white people talk the way they do when they think only white people are in earshot.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 month

There is a tenth circle of hell and it comes with fries.

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

www.theatlantic.com

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Counterpoint: write whatever the fuck you want.

L.A. Times Opinion

@latimesopinion

2 years

Op-Ed: So you want to write a COVID novel? Here's an idea — don't

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Just drinking a Budweiser at Nordstrom while buying Boeing stock.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

16 days

Knife by @SalmanRushdie is a true miracle. Yes, it describes in painful detail the horror of what happened, but it’s also a mediation on happiness and love. Surviving the attack took strength, but this kind of writing takes wisdom.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Epidemiologists friends warn me that the novel coronavirus may soon be overtaken by the short story coronavirus, which will entail a briefer period of sickness but somehow be more devastating.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Biden was never my favorite candidate. But comparing Biden to Trump is like comparing an annoying ice cream headache to ass cancer.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 years

Trump took close to a billion dollars in write-offs from the government. If he wins, will that make him our first socialist president?

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Every morning I wake up to see how badly Elon and Putin are doing and I feel calm and ready to start the day.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Yesterday, a reader in a restaurant recognized me and bought me and my friend a round. I encourage such beautiful gestures. Drinks are expensive and writers need to drink.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 years

I took Bourdain out to Brighton Beach for Season 3 of No Reservations. He was gracious, brilliant and charmed every surly Russian in sight. Everyone struggles. Each life comes with a long catalogue of pain.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Tucker’s departure is a two martini day!

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

I would also like Obama to take the stand, if only to hear what a proper English sentence sounds like again.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 years

NYT: "So disorienting was Mr. Trump’s performance at times it fell to Mr. Putin to try to cushion the blow. When a reporter asked whether Mr. Trump had raised objections to Russia’s annexation of Crimea, Mr. Putin answered that of course [Trump] objected. Mr. Trump was silent."

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 years

It can happen here.

rodrigo castriota

@castriotar

6 years

More than 20 Brazilian universities were invaded by the military police in the past 2 days. They confiscated material on the history of fascism, interrupted classes due to 'ideological content', removed anti-fascist banners and posters claiming that it was electoral propaganda.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Your moment of Zen.

Keith Boykin

@keithboykin

4 years

Members of the exonerated Central Park Five help paint #BlackLivesMatter on the street in front of Trump Tower on New York’s Fifth Avenue.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

5 years

I'm sorry but what kind of sick parent lets their child talk to the president?

The Daily Beast

@thedailybeast

5 years

Donald Trump, answering phone call from 7-year-old on Christmas Eve: "Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at seven it's marginal, right?"

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

9 months

I’ll have three ounces of ketamine and some Bukowski.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

In a leaked transcript of tonight's speech, Putin was going to announce a retreat to the borders of Moscow, which he hoped would "soon become an important trading center between the Petersburg and Nizhny Novgorod Republics."

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

When a nation’s entire morality is in free fall.

olexander scherba🇺🇦

@olex_scherba

2 years

A #RussianArmy intercept. She: Ok, you can rape those Ukrainian women. He: Aha. She: Just use protection and don’t tell me! He: Really? Ok. #RussianWarCrimes #StopPutinNOW #StandWithUkraine #ArmUkraineNow #ArmUkraine

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

Hard-Line Position…by Ukraine? Asking a genocidal power to leave your territory is not hardline.

Hard-Line Positions by Russia and Ukraine Dim Hope for Peace Talks (Published 2022)

Both Moscow and Kyiv say they are ready to talk, but their terms for sitting down at a negotiating table suggest otherwise.

www.nytimes.com

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

1 year

I am proud to introduce myself as the @GOP candidate for the NY-19 seat in 2024. I am a unicorn who graduated Hosftra with a degree in business-ish studies and rose through the ranks to become head of Faerie Magick Potions at JP Morgan. Please give me $700 thousand.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 months

One of Netanyahu’s minister gets thrown out of a hospital by irate Israelis. I don’t know how they’re able to show their faces in public. Chutzpah is the last thing they have.

Eylon Levy

@EylonALevy

7 months

"You've ruined this country! Get out of here! Now it's our turn. We're in charge. We'll govern here. Right, left! A nation united! Without you! You've ruined everything!" Environment minister @iditsilman gets banished from a hospital by a doctor.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

GOP is fine with the US becoming a Russian vassal state as long as its citizens don't have access to healthcare.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Only two generations ago, my ancestors in the Soviet Union lived in mortal fear of being shoved into an unmarked car. Remind me why the fuck we came to this county again?

Josh Marshall

@joshtpm

4 years

Deputy Secretary of DHS Ken Cuccinelli tells NPR not only are they not stopping the Portland tactics they're going to take them nationwide. via @TPM

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

Babushka, stay strong! We love you.

Alex Kokcharov

@AlexKokcharov

2 years

In #StPetersburg , #Russia , the police detained a well-known survivor of the Siege of Leningrad Yelena Osipova at an anti-war #protest :

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 years

It's time for the GOP to drop out of the race.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 months

Probably the best compliment I’m going to receive in 2023.

Timothy Snyder

@TimothyDSnyder

8 months

Thanking God softly today for the existence of Gary @Shteyngart .

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

5 years

Trumpism in a single image.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Jesus Christ, I was just making a joke. I didn’t think there would actually BE Joementum.

Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

Folks, is there going to be Joementum tonight? I really just want to use Joementum in a sentence. Joementum.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 months

Off to the airport tonight. Got my passport, boarding pass and $78.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

"it was Spicer’s portrayal by a woman that was most problematic in the president’s eyes." POLITICO. Which woman will play Bannon next week?

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

8 years

"How stupid is our country?" Not stupid enough to elect you.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

6 years

In 60 hours a major nation will decide whether or not it should continue.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

3 months

Meanwhile, American reporter Evan Gershkovich, who would have asked putin some real questions, is languishing in a russian prison. You subhuman piece of frozen siberian husky excrement.

Tucker Carlson

@TuckerCarlson

3 months

Why I'm interviewing Vladimir Putin.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

5 years

Yup, this is pretty much how I pictured it.

Matt Cameron

@matt_cam

6 years

In "Super Sad Super True Love Story," @Shteyngart predicted a dystopian near-future in which a bad credit score was enough to get an immigrant deported. 8 years later, it's about to be law.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

The problem with trying to write satire in 2017.

Peter Hamby

@PeterHamby

7 years

Crowd at CPAC waving these little pro-Trump flags that look exactly like the Russian flag. Staffers quickly come around to confiscate them.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

11 months

I’m slightly in awe. It’s hard to hit the entire Elders of Zion trifecta in one sentence. Fox is missing out.

Julia Ioffe

@juliaioffe

11 months

In which Tucker Carlson says that the first Jewish president of Ukraine is "sweaty and rat like, a persecutor of Christians, a friend of Blackrock."

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Super Bowl commercials super nostalgic for the America of eighteen days ago.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Russian relative to me: "Don't make fun of Trump. He belongs to Putin now. And you know how Putin can get."

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

7 years

Germany, France and Canada are now the leaders of the free world. "Danke" "Merci" and "Good luck, eh!"

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

GOP: We don't see Democrats as human. Democrats: Please get better, sir. We are all Americans.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

My grandfather was born in Ukraine and died defending Leningrad from the advancing fascists in the Second World War. Putin, a Leningrad-born fascist, will never desecrate his memory.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

3 years

I’m wearing my fucking mask indoors again. Because idiots.

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

4 years

I'm not @NateSilver538 but my forecast model shows Hillary at 0.0% chance of winning this election.

Jake Tapper

@jaketapper

4 years

Secretary Pompeo tells Fox he’s working to get more of @HillaryClinton ’s emails out before the election. PERINO: Will that happen before the election? POMPEO: Doing it as fast as we can. I certainly, I certainly think there'll be more to see before the election

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Gary Shteyngart

@Shteyngart

2 years

. @amnesty needs to clean house. This is disgusting.

Vorkoz

@Vorkoz

2 years

Board member of @amnestyfinland has made a thread accusing @amnesty of underreporting human rights abuses by the ukrainian armed forces etc. Recommends pro-russian disinfo site Grayzone as a source for this.