a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷 @full_legal_name Twitter profile

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

1 year

sorry i never tweet any more. the 9 year old russian boy who lives below me is trying to ruin my life with a series of increasingly intricate pranks and ruses

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@RichardThale

a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

hung out with my boyfriend’s mom for too long. was like damn i love this bitchhhhhhhh we’re like LITERALLY the same person.. then i was like ohhhhhhhhhhhh

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

this is the most humiliating day of my life

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

can u believe that 50 first dates ends with drew barrymore waking up every day in the middle of the arctic with no idea how she got there and pregnant as fuck. like what the fuck

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

9 months

turned 25 yesterday

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

8 months

doctor told me my cortisol levels look like i’m constantly trying to save a baby from a burning building

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

gay men are anorexia’s little minions sent to prevent women from actualizing/developing a Self outside of their appearance

mauro henri

@xtinohenri

4 months

2000 2006 2024

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

feminist next door

@emrazz

2 years

Happy new year to my fellow witches. 2022 is for the difficult women.

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

i miss catholic school. i just remembered when a girl gave up mirrors for lent. she would duck and scurry into a stall every time we walked into the bathroom… you just don’t run into that kind of weird every day now

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

7 months

having a sister is something so amazing

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

it’s okay though. while i am like his mom (girlboss, loves to talk shit) he is just like my dad (6’3”)

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

i think about this every day

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

bisexuals are always like “i’m gay for every girl and hetero for one man only!!!” and then proceed to date any man that looks like the rat from flushed away

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 months

just saw a 9 year old on tiktok using drunk elephant moisturizer and it reminded me that when i was 9 my favorite hobby was putting ants on tortilla chips and eating them. i used to eat too much grass and throw up like a dog

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 months

go to JAIL

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

something i have discovered this christmas is that no one aged 27-35 has seen this movie

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

down so bad i started gentle parenting myself.. just in the bar bathroom talking to myself in the mirror like “now i know we’re experiencing a lot of big feelings right now”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

i’m obsessed with every historical account of eleanor roosevelt making sure to note that she was busted as fuck

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

hit one year in anorexia recovery on saturday and i really owe it all to my best friend annie for the time she sat me down and said “kennedy not being able to go out to eat or share a meal is deeply unchic”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

this moving shit easy as fuck

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

I’M FINALLY READY TO TALK ABOUT IT: like two weeks ago i slept with this rich tech guy in manhattan and he tried to get me off using his heated bidet

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

8 months

sorry but

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

green ribbon around my neck stays on during sex

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

brooklyn tinder is absolutely flooded with guys whose bios say “leftist. mfa. want a girl with big MOMMY MILKERS to BELITTLE me SEXUALLY”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

10 months

weed makes u stupid and lazy

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

day 17 of standing on a ladder in my leggings that make my ass look amazing to water the plants at work right in front of a group of firefighters and still no husband. when will my pain end

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

11 months

next time a guy self describes as a golden retriever i’m making him eat and drink from a bowl on the floor

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

1 year

being sober is fine and cool but mocktails do crack me tf up… like ppl r out here drinking 75g of pure sugar soda for no reason

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

this random acid montage in the middle of the movie is actually groundbreaking… it’s so beautiful

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 months

does anyone remember on my fitness pal when you'd end your day under 1000 calories and it would say like "WARNING! you may not be eating enough. but also if you ate like this every day you'll weigh 112 pounds in 2 weeks." ? everyone involved in that should be in jail

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

it was basically Scared Straight but for beautiful girls who care about preserving the vibescape

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

literally every nonfiction book about the great depression, new deal, or WWII has at least one sentence that starts with “FDR and his horse-faced wife, Eleanor,”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

don’t hear much about cows jumping over the moon these days. lost art

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

8 months

girlfriend who needs to be taken out to the barn and shot like an injured horse

clare

@sadderlizards

8 months

girlfriend who needs to be cared for like a sickly baby bird that fell out of its nest

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

probably once a day i think about how professional magician david blaine bagged fiona apple by levitating in front of her on their first date

ؘ

@visiondaya

5 months

that one random celeb relationship that everyone moved on from but you literally cant forget it and think about it every day

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

7 months

can someone tag that girl that was like “post your purses and what’s inside them and i’ll make a sculpture of them”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

“Although she wasn’t beautiful in the classic sense, and in fact was reported to have caused widespread bouts of nausea due to how violently unpleasantly she was to behold,”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

got punched in the face mood board

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

23 days

i actually cannot believe that the biggest earthquake since the 1800s hit nyc while i was getting a PAP SMEAR

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

1 year

i decided to quit smoking in one split second and dramatically flung my vape onto the subway tracks and i never smoked again .. i forget i even used to do that. sumtimes a little drama is all you need

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

everyone in new york is like “last week i did KETAMINE and QUIT MY JOB” and i’m like ok….. when is the last time you refused to walk past a coffee shop bc seeing ur reflection in the glass was dishonoring to god

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

6 months

four horseman of the sexting apocalypse

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

@hanfjob no bc i’m soon going to be walking out the door fr

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

25 days

telling my boss that something he said to me “really hurt my feelings”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 months

bodytuning SJP.. you should be put on a list. your family doesn’t love you. your man is cheating. you’re broke and you smell like earring backs

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

i used to think i was cool to look like unconventional and weird and then i realized it’s actually more cool to look like a sexual waitress at a buffalo wild wings in tampa florida

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

january 1st being a monday omfg.. chills

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

likeeeeeee

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

i’m so nervous for the first skinny adele album…. what if her voice was stored in a cankle……

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

6 months

just got the ick by imagining him going fishing and catching a boot

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

7 months

someone needs to get her ass into pick me conversion camp i literally can’t take this anymore

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

7 months

Selena Gomez on being a relatable role model for girls: “I’m not unattainable. I look at someone like a Beyoncé, and I am amazed. My jaw drops. Every part of her is just impeccable, and it’s just so beautiful. I went to her show and was blown away. But I’m just not that, and…

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

@101stgec the point is that she got “back” to 2006 after being fat from 2007-2023 lmao

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

uncle gworl

@_uncle_gworl

4 months

i’m sorry, i’m not gagging. it’s cute! but we needed like three of these scenes

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

1 month

so over girls posting pictures of a little animal with the caption “me” ..girl that bunny rabbit does not have twelve thousand dollars of credit card debt

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

8 months

the first time i did poppers i was with hesse and we were trying to do the “lena dunham challenge” (where u do poppers and eat a whole cheesecake) and the moment i inhaled she said “you have no idea how many brain cells you just lost” and it was the worst 45 seconds of my life.

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

guys please stop yelling at me my sample size was cameron and a group of random millennials at my parents neighborhood christmas party last night

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

no one puts lampshades on their heads as a funny party trick any more. let’s change that

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

lice really fell off. don’t hear much about them these days

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

6 months

nothing has been the same since oomf told me that she found out her bf slept with his ex while they were on a break because she checked their letterboxd accounts and saw they both logged the same movie

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

rich people are so crazy

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

the west elm caleb thing is soooo embarrassing for these girls… imagine not being hot enough to get a second date and then publicly admitting that….

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

1 year

i want to sit across one of these with her

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

5 months

@andletmejustsay girl act like you’ve been here before

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 months

@bluebayoubb no exactly… at 9 you should be putting mashed avocado on your face and cucumbers on your eyes and playing pretend spa with your sister… u should be putting baking soda in your hair and forgetting to rinse it so ur mom freaks out and thinks you have lice

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

follow up i just got robbed at knifepoint in the subway wearing these bows

a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

what would you do in this situation

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

6 months

im not sober but im an ally to the community for sure

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

we need a disney princess who is addicted to stimulant drugs

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

i am exactly as hot as i need to be to get away with being as deranged as i am. work smart not hard

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 months

@GloamHallow they were actually a little spicy

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

this is my favorite video…. i’m him…… so delighted with the world and its mysteries …….

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 months

everyone hated me for being real

annika💒

@femaleweezerfan

3 months

hate when girls do those incredibly staged “what’s in my bag” pictures like they’re carrying around a full bottle of tom ford lost cherry and a didion paperback at all times

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

11 months

y’all ever left a relationship so bad you turned into this

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

at a party today like 10 minutes into our conversation this girl i met was like “you lowkey remind me of flat stanley. like you look so good from the front and then you turn around and you literally have the flattest ass i’ve ever seen.” and i was like maddie. thank you so much

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

hey quick question! what’s the point

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

@ohslaybigslay something about this week makes me brave + terrifying

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

10 months

cant remember the last time i met a daily weed smoker that was remotely interesting or intelligent or even conversationally capable. makes u think

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 months

that scam could never have happened to me because i am literally addicted to texting my 5 closest friends everything that happens to me .i would be in the groupchat 60 seconds into the call like “GUYSSSSSSSSS omfg i’m soo fucked.” in 25 mins at least two girls would be at my door

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

story 2 parts or something i guess

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 months

btw we see what you’re doing

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

6 months

i do think there’s something profoundly sick about being a person that wakes up and at 10am is like “what movie should i watch right now”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

do u think this person has EVER read a female author 🙄🙄🙄

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

just got hit on while wearing birkenstocks men will literally fuck anything

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

mom can you pick me up theyre watching broad city here

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 months

the worst person you know is reading this right now and nodding

chase

@sonnerly

2 months

Wow

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

me and who

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

guys turn 31 and all of a sudden their texts all sound like transcriptions of voice recordings from the movie SAW

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

NUMBER ONE WILL SHOCK YOU

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

@venusianshorty yeah i gotta keep stats bc my new thing is no longer having sex with men who don’t have 100 pounds on me

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

11 months

seeing your close friend around a guy she likes for the first time is soo harrowing.. wtf is “hahaha stopppp” bitch use your words!!!!

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

me right now

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

9 months

just remembered the time in 2021 when i was at the peak of my anorexia and had a 16.5 BMI and found out someone was catfishing as me on hinge and THIS was the prompt answer

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

once a greek old man came 2 my store and showed me pics of his village and i said “pretty! my friend’s from sicily, her grandma was the first woman in sicily to ride a motorcycle” and he said “psh, every woman in sicily says she was the first woman in sicily to ride a motorcycle”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

straight women will see a picture of harry styles with two buttons undone and suddenly be like “you know i think i might be bisexual”

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

nicki minaj: cousin’s testicles became swollen

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

shut the fuck up

ermer

@itme_ermer

4 months

Ozempic really came and saved the girls. I want Lana on it so baddddddd

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

wishing you all a very Dianetic christmas 🚹👽🛸

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

god complex gf

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

1 year

i might not be as hot as i used to be now that i’m recovered from anorexia but i do look like i could carry a pregnancy to term. and the baby might even have all its fingers

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

4 months

@afraidofwasps i did this last night at my parents’ neighborhood christmas party and was met with blank stares from like 8 young millennials. it was so harrowing

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

3 years

i got a lot hotter during covid and being back on campus is so weird …. the guy at my corner store asked me if i was a model and in my head i was like dude u know me… i cried in here once bc i couldn’t get my tamagotchi open to put new batteries in and you gave me a screwdriver

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a beautiful woman 💕✨👄🦷

@full_legal_name

2 years

you turn 23 and all of a sudden salad is like so good

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