Diplomatic dispatches from the Government-in-Exile.
๐ข๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ช๐ถ๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ต๐ธ๐ผ ๐ข๐พ๐ซ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ช๐ฝ๐ธ๐ผ ๐๐พ๐ท๐ฌ
What's bigger than some rogue CM or social media intern sh*posting on a small island nation's official Twitter account? The whole thing being fake. What's bigger than it being fake? It being real. What's bigger than it just being real? It being the second time I've done this. ๐งต
While ultimately entertaining, you need to understand that we're the ones that now have to explain to our boss memes like this, why everyone is talking about a fruit, what Minions are, and what the word phallic means.
In ๐
#Kiritimati
,
@UNICEFPacific
Representative, Jonathan Veitch met with the Kiribati Minister for Line & Phoenix Islands Development, Hon. Mikarite Temari, to discuss the progress of
@UNICEF
and
@spc_cps
supported and
@EUPasifika
-funded WASH programme in the Line Group ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ช๐บ
I'm not sure exactly who is running the new-ish official account for Kiribati
@KiribatiGov
(murmur is someone in Maamau's office, I'd welcome clarity from the author) but they've gone from a few hundred followers to 20K in a heartbeat and have comprehensively won the internet
Thank you for following the Republic of Kiribati. You are all now honorary citizens of our beautiful island nation.
Now let's talk about the back taxes you owe.
@MadUncleDeeJay
and Kiribati is a literal shithole. Only 30% of them have indoor plumbing they all shit in the lagoon which doesn't wash out so you can't use it for anything else and visitors commonly only eat rice and canned food so they don't die.
Wioska Poland na Kiribati zostaลa nazwana na czeลฤ Stanisลawa Peลczyลskiego, polskiego mechanika, ktรณry znaczฤ co ulepszyล plantacjฤ kokosowฤ na wyspie, wprowadzajฤ c zmodyfikowany system nawadniania, skuteczny podczas pory suchej.
@MirkoGerrits
Mirko this is a warning
We're not going to ban you but if you ever come here you will get full body cavity searched upon arrival by big islander men with rough hands.
@theworldindex
10 of the Least Visited Countries in the World :-
1.๐น๐ปTuvalu
2.๐ฐ๐ฎKiribati
3.๐ณ๐บNiue
4.๐ธ๐นSao Tome and Principe
5.๐ฒ๐ญMarshall Islands
6.๐ฐ๐ฒComoros
7.๐ซ๐ฒMicronesia
8.๐ฌ๐ณGuinea
9.๐ฌ๐ผGuinea-Bissau
10.๐ธ๐ฑSierra Leone
Immigration and customs will just be a polygraph vibe check and we show you this map:
You laugh- you can come in, but you'll get a stern talking to.
You don't laugh- we deport you to the Marshall Islands (you won't know the difference)
@tonberryplushie
Don't take no for an answer
They need you more than you need them
Find the biggest country in the joint and sucker punch them with a declaration of war
BRICS isn't even a real world, did they just forget the letter K or are they simply dyslexic?
I suggest adding the republic of Kiribati to the alliance to fix this mistake and make it BRICKS.
I'm sorry I can't help you. We both are working for different governments. You're working for America and I'm already working for Kiribati government.
I'm sure you don't want to be a traitor.
@elonmusk
Yea sure, abolish the central bank and join forces with global superpowers such as
*checks notes*
- Andorra
- Isle of Man
- Kiribati
- Marshall Islands
- Micronesia
- Monaco
- Nauru
- Palau
- Panama
- Tuvalu
๐ซ
Kiribati โ pronounced Kiribas โ is the only nation on Earth to permanently trespass into GMT+14. It's islands Samoa and Christmas islands are the earliest places on earth.
@_MukeshAmbani
On one of our corporate connections 9415042787 we have been receiving numerous fake calls from +960 Maldives & +686 Kiribati. In spite of repeated complaints no remedial action is taken by Jio. Please intervene. Sushil Sharma ,Director, Precitex Equipments Pvt Ltd.
Contrary to map sh*tposters beliefs, normal people do not have beliefs or conversations about whether or not you can sail from London to Paris in a straight line. It's easy to win arguments that never happened in the first place.
Students at the University of Waterloo discovered that their candy machines were covertly collecting facial recognition data when 'Vending.FacialRecognitionApp.exe' crashed.
Immigration and customs will just be a polygraph vibe check and we show you this map:
You laugh- you can come in, but you'll get a stern talking to.
You don't laugh- we deport you to the Marshall Islands (you won't know the difference)
I say this, from the bottom of my heart of hearts: Thank You. Seeing the interest that so many of you have expressed to better know my home country, my people, our language, land, and food- it has lifted my spirits to no end.
But more importantly we all seemed to arrive at the same conclusion: it's just super funny when an 'official' account lets its hair down a little. We all want to believe that even on an island paradise there's a dude who kinda hates his job and cares less and less about formality
Fast waaayy forward to more recent times and I'm going to school in Utah. In 2019, I would go back to the homeland for a four month internship (to teach business classes and offer microfinancing to mothers) where I was reunited with my birth family.
I was born in Antebuka, Tarawa, Kiribati, full blood, 100% Gilbertese. When I was almost 7 months old I was adopted by loving, very American family. While I was young we moved around a lot but we would eventually call Seattle home.
@KiribatiGov
If the Australians stand up-side-down, and the Canadians stand correct-side-up, then the Kiribati people stand sideways! Best way to stand.
I think Kiribati must have had a competition to name their cities and were then drunk when they made the decisions.
Tho to be fair if the British were involved it'd likely have been called something like Kiribati McBatiFace
As a proof of concept, I think we've done something great together, confirming what so many other brands have proven time and time again: that social media users deserve BETTER interaction. Not the corporate sanitized Engagementโข but banter with culture and shared experiences.
The AIs have gone crazy. Reddit is letting redditors into its IPO. Momfluencers are going to jail and somehow Kiribati is the new hotness. It's the Weekly Scroll:
As luck would also have it I had also been recently appointed as Liaison to the Kiribati Government for a Singapore Seasteading firm called Blue Frontiers. In both of these roles I would experience how laid back local governance could be. It was both frustrating and aspirational
The way that I accrued a critical mass of followers for both rounds was by following a simple but strict regimen:
I first followed academics and journalists who orbited larger institutions and figures within International Relations, Pacific, Indigenous, and Climate Change circles