@TertuliaTweets
@MarjanKamali
One of my favorite deposition moments:
Q:Please state your name.
A: Mohammad _______
Q: What is the origin of your name?
A: It’s literally the most popular name in the entire world
@JonahDispatch
@Popehat
The leader of our military for four years thought we were launching an amphibious attack on Ukraine. It’s a miracle we are all still alive.
@benshapiro
lmao imagine your tweets if:
1. Saudi Arabia invests 2 billion dollars with Obama's son in law
2. Obama is paid millions by Saudi Arabia to play in and host a golf tournament
3. The FBI obtains a search warrant and raids Obama's estate for highly classified nuclear documents.
@CurrentRevolt
@chartreusewahoo
This reminds me way too much of my mom's midlife crisis. She tattooed a quote from Cesar Millan on herself and something in French that isn't conjugated correctly.
@KenPaxtonTX
In case you were wondering where Ken Paxton stood on the matter, he has come out in favor of fraudulently concealing hush money payments to pornstars.
@NotJoshBlackman
@Popehat
Me getting raided: “Ooooooh the post office inspector. Did I forget to lick my stamps? Ooooh. Is someone upset they didn’t get into FBI school?”
Me 6 months later:
@RexChapman
@DrOz
@POTUS
My charcuterie board cost over $65 last weekend and don't even get me started on the foie gras. I understand that it has to be shipped fresh to the vineyard from the mainland, but even still, it's outrageous. I just want to enjoy the yacht races like a normal American.
@RexChapman
I love how the guy has committed literal fraud for 40 years and he is like "I'm donating my salary", and the media was like "YES HE'S DONATING HIS SALARY".
@theserfstv
@jordanbpeterson
picking up chicks: *fake British accent*
“Hey female, your ass is extremely overweight.”
“Wtf”
“No. I am engaging in courtship ritual. Your buttocks is unique like a bent antler on a lesser kudu. Please assume your subservient gender role and meet my needs.”
@The_Master_Yeti
@crazyclipsonly
So I don't know if you've been outside lately but society has sort of made pact where people who are driving typically try to avoid hitting people who are not driving.
Hope this helps you understand what the lady walking might have been thinking.
@KevinMKruse
Remember when he had the police break into a woman’s house to steal her laptop at gunpoint in front of her small children because he didn’t like her COVID numbers?
@SloHoopsFan
Just fun stats about getting guys touches...
Luka has 962 assists if you count last year and his first 44 games this year.
Kyle Kuzma has 696 in his entire career.
@Klonick
1. You are way too nice
2. I sued similar BIG LARGE COMPANY (not a rental car company) with *ridiculous* customer service and settled it for over 10x what you are asking for
3. Attorney for BIG LARGE COMPANY just knowingly chuckled at the insane customer service fact scenario
@BiasedSlightly
Dude is averaging 34/9/9 and playing the most minutes in the league and is ranked behind Pat Beverly in the MVP ladder, he doesn’t owe anyone shit imo.
@ItsMattsLaw
This is awesome. I once had a Judge go "well we can't schedule trial over Christmas, not the 1st of the year , that's New Years..." then he kept going through the whole year and the excuses got funnier... "that's the first day of deer season".
@ZTPetrizzo
@Popehat
I love how the dude who got ARRESTED ON A YACHT and does not appear to have ever had a job where you work is claiming he's the "working class"
@nickgillespie
@Popehat
As a cheese lover, I think I'd just be very confused as to why I've been locked in this room and why there was ever cheese available in the first place.
@Wheezy4Lyfe
@KendrickPerkins
Perk just has PTSD from Dirk averaging 49 points against him. I hope he gets the help that his team never gave him in defense.
@EricKleefeld
@KevinMKruse
Every time Ken Paxton is mentioned, this needs to be included:
“Ken Paxton, who has been indicted for fraud and is awaiting trial,”
@zuves35
Draymond Green averages 4 points and 2 rebounds so he just runs around doing shit like this all game and then Steph Curry scores 49 points and Draymond is the 75th best player in NBA history.
@RileyRuby2
Congrats to Phil Mickelson. Indeed, I was a hater, but his 15th place finish out of 47 competitors in the Bangkok Mena Tour event in front of 1,700 fans streaming on youtube has shut me right up.
@fodderyfodder
I got to depose someone who was surveilling a client one time. I asked lots of questions intended to make them sound pathetic. "Did you hide in the bushes?" "Did you duck behind the steering wheel when they appeared?" "Were you wearing an overcoat?"
@maxhoma23
@blackburngolf
Me sitting in the window seat next to you: “hey so how far do you shoot your 7 iron” and then your getting the play by play of my round yesterday.
@BasebaIlKing
He even points at both dugouts 😂
The problem at this point is Angel's reputation is completely cooked. He has no margin for error to ever miss a call and we all know he's the one who misses the most calls, so I don't see how it ever gets fixed.
@DougJBalloon
I am tired of these rich guys acting like they are one of us. They don’t represent me. They have no idea what it’s like to have only 1 stable and 1 pool.