J.J. @J_Dot_J Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Ayyyyy it’s us!

Law360

@Law360

1 year

aren Delaney and Jennifer Judge are the legal industry equivalent of true-crime junkies — but it's not serial killers they're interested in. Instead, the podcast the two started last year focuses on the kinds of messes that only lawyers can make.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Annual reminder that using thank you notes as a factor in hiring decisions disproportionately affects interviewees who were not raised to know unspoken norms like this

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

I was so prepared to hate this man but after reading the story, I have never supported a man’s decision more. A modern day hero.

New York Post

@nypost

8 months

I left my wife behind at the airport and I’m not sorry — she needs to learn time management

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 month

As the saying goes: They say we should only speak good of the dead. OJ Simpson is dead. Good.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

This is also zero, absolutely zero, connection to use of thank you notes and job performance

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

@cardinestwit It can. At the expense of excluding others who also have follow up and follow through, but didn't even know thank you notes are a thing.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

This firm wants to pay someone $14/hour to be a full time legal assistant and watch the lawyer’s children on afternoons, school breaks, and holidays. And they’ll complain how no one “wants to work anymore.”

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

@dyllyp Read the details of the report on him. He groomed his 18 yr old staffer, then made her so drunk she couldn’t consent and had sex with her until she bled all over his apartment and then bought her Plan B. So pro-life.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

20 days

Is this a picture of the crackdown on protests at UT-Austin, or is it a picture of law enforcement standing outside Robb Elementary School?

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Physically flinched when I read this in a lawyer's brief in federal court

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

@The_Law_Boy "Should we imply causation in our written violation?" "Fuck that, let's TELL them!"

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

So! Some personal news. Continuing my recent trend of rolling with very unexpected developments, I had an amazing job opportunity fall into my lap. And so, next month, I'll be going back in-house as the Chief Legal Officer at a really cool and growing company.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Incredible to me that there's not a way to pay $1 or $2 any time I want to read an article that's paywalled at a news site, but don't want to pay for the full subscription. I'd happily pay a la carte for articles (journalism deserves support!) on sites I don't subscribe to.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

So happy to live in age when we need an Uno Reverse card of judicial holdings

Mark Joseph Stern

@mjs_DC

1 year

Whoa—a Washington judge just issued a dueling injunction PROHIBITING the FDA from pulling mifepristone off the market. It directly conflicts with Kacsmaryk’s.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 month

I literally hire lawyers for a living and have done it the past 9 years. Just do the opposite of everything that guys says.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

“My ‘I didn’t fuck a corpse’ shirt is raising a lot of questions answered by my shirt”

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

This is incredibly brave and as a VERY remedial lesson: absolutely do not, under any fucking circumstance, try to ask out a job candidate on a date.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

4 months

No matter how much you love your job, it won’t love you back. No job is a dream job. No job is perfect. Every job has bullshit. Find something you enjoy with people you like working with.

dont let me get bangs again fr

@yoadri_n

4 months

30+ folks, what is your best piece of professional advice?

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

It’s just me, in a silent eternal scream about emotional labor

The Wall Street Journal

@WSJ

11 months

Who gets to have fun this summer? You, if you learn to carve out more leisure time.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

5 months

Practical practice tip: no matter how unsavory your (current or former) client is, you really, really, really shouldn't do this:

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Just remembered when I was the firm, we had a case at the 5th Cir. I was also close with the firm receptionist and saw she called me. I answered, "Hey bitch! What's up?" and realized when the receptionist received a call on the main line and sent it to me, it was her called ID.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Me to me, billing .5 today.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

So....any red flags with this business card or idea?

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

No Kobe scandals huh

Deron

@CallMe_Kratos

1 year

This Ja situation really makes you appreciate the Kobe's and Lebron's. 15+ years in the league with no scandals whatsoever. They just balled. Nothing but great loyal, black men. 🙏🏾

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Ordered the kids pizza for dinner last night. Got a notification that it was delivered, but no pizza arrived. Called the restaurant and they apologized, refunded the order, AND sent two new pizzas out. An hour later, a neighbor down the street brought the original pizzas to us.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

It’s a good thing that every single law student graduates and immediately starts arguing the judges at random, unpredictable times. Otherwise this would be a very silly and embarrassing post

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Law school won't be fully useful until it teaches litigators how to domesticate subpoenas in states different from where they're issued

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

6 months

Legal tech vendors have started calling my cell phone three times in a row in quick succession (like someone calling in an emergency would), and I cannot stress enough how much I hate this.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

Good news. The state bar investigated itself and found no misconduct by the state bar.

Law360

@Law360

9 months

A State Bar of California investigation found no misconduct by the agency's immediate past chair, an Arnold & Porter partner who played a role in a highly publicized, and ultimately mishandled, disciplinary case against Tom Girardi.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

I am the biggest proponent for "adopt, don't shop" but dog rescue groups are on another level of insane and sometimes do more harm than good to their cause.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

Yesterday, my mother-in-law passed away, exactly two years to the day after she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She was one of the most badass and accomplished women I’ve ever known, wrapped in a 5’ and 90-pound body.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

I may not be a "law professor with a Twitter account," but I do know that drag shows are protected 1A conduct/speech and it's not even a close call

Mark Joseph Stern

@mjs_DC

8 months

Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk refuses to grant relief to Texas college students who may be punished for hosting a drag show. His condemns drag as “vulgar and lewd” “sexualized conduct” that harms children and is likely unprotected by the First Amendment.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

The audacity of being a 2018 law school grad and thinking you're the oracle on attorney licensing and practice

Coby DuBose | DuBose Defense

@DuBoseDefense

10 months

Stop coddling law students. Being a lawyer is not about you. It is about your clients. Stop reinforcing this weird weakness and treating these would-be professionals like infants. One day soon they'll be responsible for people's freedom, parental rights, money. This is sad.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

21 days

I wonder how many lawyers who have dealt with noncompetes extensively actually believe those agreements are necessary for reasons other than deterrence (outside exceptions like the sale of a business). Ever tried enforcing a noncompete? Do you have 500K to blow in 2 months?

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Lot of people telling on themselves in relation to this, but none more than this guy.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

If you think lawyers should be worried about AI replacing them, you’ve told on yourself about the quality and complexity of your legal work

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Here’s the thing: in certain careers, you will have to miss some dinners and practices. But somehow this is the absolute worst way to talk about that.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Anyway, that's how I greeted the 5th circuit clerk when they called with a question of some sort about our appeal.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

SHOCKED that the dude who famously hoards SCOTUS arguments and is almost singularly responsible for the overwhelmingly male SCOTUS argument practitioner's bar is also incorrectly crediting a dude with writing "much of" @taylorswift13 's new music

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

Imagine how amazing old Twitter would have been tonight

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

Preach it from the rooftops. I can’t tell you how many young SaaS and tech companies have the GC reporting to the CFO and it’s always a major red flag.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

5 months

Yes, I know it's Skip Bayless. But this is a wonderful example of how misogyny makes a woman responsible for 53 men playing subpar football.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

In one of the most completely random, shocking, and unexpected events in my life, I recently found out that D Magazine named me as the Best Twitter Feed in Dallas for 2023.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Having the time of my life advising companies that a decision related to entities taking public funds controls private corporate diversity policies, with all my other liberal lawyers. They're just out of frame, advising too.

Aaron Sibarium

@aaronsibarium

10 months

A lawyer in Big Law told me today that the firm’s corporate clients are all reaching out in the wake of Students For Fair Admissions to ask if their diversity policies are legal. In most cases, even liberal attorneys are telling them no.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

@bradford_hardin Of course I can afford it. I’m not okay with giving money to someone who enables and gives voices to the worst sorts of bigots, actual nazis, and conspiracy theorists.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

My Wachtell hot take is that clearly clients are willing to pay the bills and keep hiring the firm, so the time entries seem fine.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

When you go in-house and the partner you worked for and who sexually harassed you for years and told you that you shouldn’t have been lawyer tells tries to pitch you

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

What about when the equity partner head of the associate's committee takes you to Rick's Cabaret and buys you a lap dance in front of all the male associates and you have to awkwardly pretend to enjoy it? Asking for a friend.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

My dad has AFib and for years, we told him to get an Apple watch to help monitor his heart. We finally bought him one for Father's Day, set it up with his health history...and it's warned him several times already when his heart has been in AFib.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Anyone who scans a QR code from a commercial gets remedial cybersecurity training

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 month

Even time I make chicken thighs, I think about how wrong people are who think chicken breast is better than the thighs

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

5 months

I was not on law review, but I did do a journal. It was the biggest fucking waste of time. I hated every minute of doing it.

Alex Su

@heyitsalexsu

5 months

I'm so glad that everyone's talking about paying law review editors because it gives me a chance to let you all know that I used to be on law review too

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Not to get carceral on main, but that sounds fucking awesome.

The Intellectualist

@highbrow_nobrow

10 months

Fox's Mark Levin: "President Trump is 76 years old. If the Department of Justice gets its way, he will die in federal prison." @BadFoxGraphics , @brianstelter .

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Absolutely fucking not

KAKE News

@KAKEnews

1 year

Set your air conditioning to 78 degrees during the day, 82 at night, federal program suggests: #KAKEnews

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

If Stanford admitted C students, they’d be even better at sports than they are. Not a single college in the United States would accept her? BFFR

Peachy Keenan

@KeenanPeachy

1 year

College admission season update - From a friend: “Niece got 1450 SAT, 4.2 GPA, competitive athlete. She didn’t even get into her safety schools. Going to junior college this year and is very depressed. The POC kids in her class, C students at best, are all headed to Berkeley,…

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

This morning my executive function decided to kick in and I have accomplished all the things that I've procrastinated on and keep me up at night. It took 10 minutes.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

Morning was made when I was greeted by the littlest office puppy

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

Good luck to employers as well, who will now deal with employees who will tell refuse to perform their jobs if it means providing service to LGBTQ+ individuals.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

“Do you have time for a call this weekend?” “….yes”

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

Husband’s words of affirmation on my first day of the new job, as he walks out the door to work: “Don’t fuck it up!”

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

If you love the intersection of fun and terror that you get from oral argument, but you're an in-house lawyer, may I recommend board meetings?

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Wore this to the doctor’s office this morning and a little old lady stopped me to say something. I assume it will be something snarky (gestures broadly at where I live), and she says “You need to add ‘Respect Women’ and ‘Believe Women.’”

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Today I used my lawyer brain and years of legal practice experience to provide accurate and materially important prompts to ChatGPT and then refined those results with even more materially important and legally correct information and you'll never believe the result!

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

If you had given me 100 guesses, I would not have guessed that was Madonna

Dr. Jebra Faushay

@JebraFaushay

1 year

Life goals, to look like Madonna at age 64.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Maybe they meant “ChatGPT will replace all the bad, stupid lawyers.”

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Tired: LinkedIn rise and grind nonsense. Wired: “I’ll live 1,600 years so this makes sense” nonsense

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

We have a new member of the family today: Nike! Another Great Pyr pup and the kids are already obsessed.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

I don't know if I'm in favor of that deal

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

And there it is. The fix was in from the beginning. I’m in a bad mental place today.

Jason Wheeler

@jasonwheelertv

8 months

Lt. Gov. Patrick: In next legislative session, "We should amend the Constitution" on impeachment process "that allowed this to happen". "This is not a partisan issue, we owe it to future legislatures" to amend. Millions of taxpayer dollars have been wasted on this #impeachment "

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

Had a Who’s on First Situation getting my name tag at the conference. Host: “What’s your last name?” “Judge.” Host: “No. Last name?” “It’s Judge.” Host, exasperated: “Not your job. Your last name.” “It’s *literally* Judge. I promise.” We eventually figured it out.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Never change, mom groups on Facebook.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

11 months

I’m at the age of Millennial that all the koozies in my house were wedding favors for marriages that have already resulted in divorce

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

5 months

Michael Irvin stabbed a Cowboys teammate in the neck with a pair of scissors

Charles R Downs

@TheCharlesDowns

5 months

NFL greats Keyshawn Johnson and Michael Irvin say that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s antics are “a lot” and are contributing to the Kansas City Chiefs' recent losses on the field. The Chiefs are America’s 2024 warning. Don’t take anything Taylor Swift says seriously.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

My new kink is listening to this gasp over and over again

Brennan Murphy

@brenonade

1 year

Audible gasps let out in Fox News' studio as they announce the Trump indictment news

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

The thrill of seeing a very annoying former opposing counsel show up in the disciplinary section of the Texas Bar Journal

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Told Youngest I’d be able to play Minecraft with him on his next day off. Him, at 8 am today:

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@J_Dot_J

1 year

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

10 months

Behold Youngest's new LEWK. Considering this kid lives his life out loud, I was shocked that he wanted all-black Crocs. Turns out, he only wanted them so that his decorations would stand out.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

8 months

It's an absolute travesty and cruelty to force terminal cancer patients and their families to suffer in their final days.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Immediate, abject, visceral reaction to anything starting with "My husbands doesn't let me" and this one is also complete bullshit.

Decider

@decider

1 year

"My husband doesn't let me ride the subway anymore because of the fear of threat." #TheView 's Alyssa Farah Griffin and her family feels unsafe riding public transportation in New York City:

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

I love the smell of firing clients in the morning

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Raffi Melkonian

@RMFifthCircuit

1 year

I am doubting the “respectfully” part of that dissent. Wow.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

lol lmao lol

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Alito wrote something, huh

Steve Vladeck

@steve_vladeck

1 year

Thomas and Alito publicly dissent; Alito wrote an opinion to which I’ll link shortly.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

I sleep in my suit because The Law and The Grind will never be disrespected on my watch.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

More than one person I love and have loved has had pancreatic cancer. This is unimaginably huge.

The New York Times

@nytimes

1 year

Breaking News: A pancreatic cancer vaccine provoked an immune response in half of the patients treated in a small trial, a finding that experts described as very promising.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

@ashleyvh16 You can’t bill hours for managing people, so it’s (generally) never valued by firms. Lawyers are sent to trial training, depo training, and the like, but not given management training. It also requires a totally different approach to thinking than what lawyers are used to.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

It became much easier to eat a lot of protein with breakfast once I gave up trying to eat "breakfast food" for breakfast. No one says you have to!

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Hint: if you’re taking surreptitious pictures of minors to mock them on social media, you’re the evil and outrageous person.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

No wonder mediocre white men so naturally assumed ChatGPT can do legal work. They both have never met a female attorney, apparently.

Dan (BlueSky: izzos.us)

@Eodyne1

1 year

Well...this is...entirely expected

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

It’s done!! Moving some of my stuff back in tomorrow. I’m so happy with not being surrounded by 1990-suburban-home-office-wood-paneling anymore.

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

When you accidentally post the screen shot of the group chat to the group chat

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

1 year

Youngest just referred to an old Calvin and Hobbes book as "the book full of memes in straight lines" and I'd like to shuffle off this mortal coil now, thanks

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J.J.

@J_Dot_J

9 months

When opposing counsel is sanctioned