Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Just saw the Will Smith slap. Anyone have a late night show I can borrow just for tomorrow?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

I can’t remember the last time I was this shocked by an NBC programming decision.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I am absolutely devastated about Norm Macdonald. Norm had the most unique comedic voice I have ever encountered and he was so relentlessly and uncompromisingly funny. I will never laugh that hard again. I'm so sad for all of us today.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

I'm ready for the all-female reboot of America.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

We should refer to this period in history simply as “The Circumstances.”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

I am going back on the air Monday, March 30th. All my staff will work from home, I will shoot at home using an iPhone, and my guests will Skype. This will not be pretty, but feel free to laugh at our attempt. Stay safe.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

In Hobi's defense, Curtain makes about as much sense as being named Conan.

방탄소년단

@BTS_twt

3 years

Sorry,,,,, Curtain😗😘 @ConanOBrien

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Good luck getting paid, Walter Reed.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Can we all agree to temporarily raise the bar for what’s considered an “alcoholic?”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

President Trump didn’t pardon the whole turkey, just the white meat.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

The “Nirvana Baby” lawsuit has inspired me to seek millions from my parents for this picture:

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Speaking of super bowls:

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

God is looking down on humans right now thinking, “Damn. Maybe I should try dinosaurs again?”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

Look, I’m not perfect but at least my obituary won’t say, “and in 2019, he defunded the Special Olympics.”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

If Trump wins in November, will he blame everything on the first Trump administration?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

Trump is already tweeting that Black Friday is the most ungrateful of all the Fridays.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Will I understand “House of the Dragon” if I haven’t seen “House of Gucci”?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

Someone is suing Canada Dry Ginger Ale because it contains no ginger, so I’d like to formally announce my lawsuit against Panda Express.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Personally, I think Elon Musk looks pretty tan.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Trump says Jesus could have avoided crucifixion by taking hydroxychloroquine.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

It just cost me $150,000 to fill up my Harrier fighter jet. Thanks a lot Biden.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Now Trump is asking Georgia to find a 7th season of Schitt's Creek.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Nothing stops illegal immigration like flying you to our country’s most exclusive island.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Great—my horse has worms and the pharmacy is out of everything except COVID vaccines.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Face masks should have a reflective surface, so people who aren’t wearing them can see what assholes they are.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Remember, you need to start quarantining TODAY for Thanksgiving, and then keep quarantining, and then not go.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Right now the FBI is Googling how to get ketchup off sensitive documents.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I'm not worried about a second lockdown, because I already know all the best places in my house to cry.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Didn't realize "bottomless" mimosas referred to the drink and not the dress code, my apologies to everyone in this airport.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Just read a fascinating New York Times piece that claimed I’ve reached my free article limit for the month.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

I just called the Emmy people and told them they need to find me 11,000 votes.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

China beating us economically is one thing, but Canada trying to steal our Crazy Crown is an act of war.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

The White House now says it’s only a recession if you see a salamander wearing a top hat.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Hey @POTUS , now do gambling debts. Please, these guys have my cat.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Dear White House Movers: Ask for the money up front.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Thank you Arnold -- this is the most powerful and uniquely personal statement I've heard from ANYONE on where we are right now as a country.

Arnold

@Schwarzenegger

3 years

My message to my fellow Americans and friends around the world following this week's attack on the Capitol.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I just learned that Tom Hiddleston initially auditioned to be Thor not Loki and that sounds exactly like something Loki would do.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Bill Tull, our prop master extraordinaire for 28 years, died this morning. We always asked the impossible of Bill, sometimes minutes before showtime, and he always delivered. He was a warrior and a legend. Rest In Peace, Bill, and eternal thanks.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I’d like to reassure my fellow celebrities that you don’t *have* to run for governor.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 months

This was the day I learned that 'Never Meet Your Heroes' is a stupid concept. John Candy was EVERYTHING I hoped.

Eric Alper 🎧

@ThatEricAlper

5 months

John Candy took this photo of Conan O'Brien while Conan was his tour guide at Harvard University in 1984.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

8 months

30 years ago today we launched an alleged talk show called “Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” We were on a mission to make the silly show of our immature dreams. My eternal thanks to Lorne Michaels, Jeff Ross, Robert Smigel, and countless disturbed, loyal, creative friends.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Today is Mother's Day. I celebrated by taking my wife to her favorite room in the house and leaving her alone.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

New drinking game: drink every time you feel anxious and sad.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

It's smart of Trudeau to hold the election before Halloween, I mean why even tempt yourself?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

FYI: when you end your talk show to spend more time with your family, you should probably check their availability first

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Just dropped off my ballot. Good luck, Kanye!

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Instead of “concede” or “lost,” what if Trump was allowed to say, “My second term has filed for Chapter 11.”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 months

Just got to meet one of my favorite talk show hosts of all time, Graham Norton. He's as delightfully charming and funny in person as he is on his show. I hope I never see him again.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

Trump’s plan to save the environment is to arm the trees with pollution.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

The person who told me Ruth Bader Ginsburg had passed away was my daughter, Neve. I was terribly sad, but also filled with gratitude that my daughter could see first hand how much intelligent, brave women can change the world.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Don’t want to be a downer but so far, this year feels exactly like last year.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

One thing I’m going to miss about the pandemic is that it finally felt normal to eat takeout in my car while crying.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I’m puzzled why President Trump hasn’t called the new strain of Covid “The British Virus.”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Day 3 of unemployment: Slept till noon because I stayed up late bingeing 90 Day Fiancé.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Still processing the terrible news about Taylor Hawkins. Such a wonderful and crazily talented man. Thinking now about his family, his band, and his good friend Dave.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

Kenny G is in my living room right now, and he won’t leave until I answer his three riddles.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

I finally finished a Chapstick without losing it or putting it through the wash. Time to die.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

I saw Gilbert perform in 1985 and when he entered to applause he said, “Thank you, thank you very much.” He then continued to say “thank you” repeatedly for ten full minutes. It was the nerviest, funniest thing I had seen. So sorry to lose this sweet and delightfully funny man.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

9 months

No tweet can capture the magic, generosity, artistry, and devout silliness of Paul Reubens. Everyone I know received countless nonsensical memes from Paul on their birthday, and I mean EVERYONE. His surreal comedy and unrelenting kindness were a gift to us all. Damn, this hurts.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

Trump was right about running the government like one of his businesses - the employees don’t get paid.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

So NOW Trump wants to quarantine in the White House.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

23 days

My eternal thanks to Dr. Arroyo for his help during my episode of Hot Ones. He’s not the best, but you can pay him with lottery tickets.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

Win or lose at least the Toronto Raptors know they have healthcare.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

#Haiti is truly a beautiful country. #ConanHaiti

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

Still reeling from @realDonaldTrump ’s very negative Yelp review of Haiti, which means I’ll love it. Headed to Haiti later this week to explore and make some new friends. Stay tuned for my report. #ConanWithoutBorders

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

President Trump just demanded to see Twitter’s birth certificate.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Hey doctors, how about some habits for a shorter life. Let’s get this over with.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Damn you, Paul Rudd.

Team Coco

@TeamCoco

2 years

Paul Rudd plays Conan a clip from his upcoming scripted podcast 😉 #CONAF Check out the full episode here:

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

I already knew Kim and Pete broke up because Alex Jones’s lawyer sent me their text messages.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

I can't believe the pandemic was renewed for another season.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

Still waiting for Donald Trump to be downgraded to a tropical shit storm.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

I'm starting to miss things I hated.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

How to get a Netflix special the hard way: do stand up for a decade The easy way: be a serial killer

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

25 years ago today, I put on a terrible jacket and auditioned for Late Night on NBC. I haven't aged a day.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Why can’t a symptom of Omicron be the inability to gain weight after eating 9 lbs of Christmas ham?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I keep thinking of all the Super Bowl rings the Buffalo Bills would have if they’d stopped the game in the 3rd quarter.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

A friend of mine at a bar just overheard someone order a Conan O’Brien— whiskey with ginger ale. PLEASE LET THIS CATCH ON.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

I can’t wait until 2017 is over. And 2018, 19, and 20.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Lori Loughlin is wondering how the Coronavirus got into Princeton and her kid didn’t.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 is a slippery slope to giving other Black women the recognition they deserved a long time ago.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

I asked my doctor if I need to cancel my birthday party, but she said that's only for events over 10 people.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

A cargo ship full of Porshes is on fire in the Atlantic, threatening our supply of male menopause medication.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

7 years

Today, we Americans celebrate our independence from Britain while planning our escape to Canada.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

All my wife wants for Mother’s Day is two years of alone time.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I’m looking forward to sweating the small stuff again.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Raising two teenagers is a tough job. Kudos to my assistant.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Just think, we’re all just a few billion dollars away from hosting SNL.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

1 year

Just in case, I’m ConeBone69 on Yahoo! Groups

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Easy compromise: Lower the maximum wage to $15/hour.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

I dream of a day when space travel is available not only to billionaires, but to any person with a net worth of over $500 million.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Idea: we hire Jeff Goldblum to calmly talk this virus into chilling out.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

3 years

Sometimes I worry my murder won’t be interesting enough to be on a podcast.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 years

I told my kids that at their age I had to watch VHS tapes on school safety, and they said “what’s school safety?”

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Well, I’ve officially lived a long life because people are excited Germany is rearming.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

5 years

When I was a kid watching "The Carol Burnett Show," no one made me laugh harder than Tim Conway. What a sweet and effortlessly funny man.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 months

Here I am visiting the Wicklow Lighthouse in 1874.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

4 years

Years from now, historians will look back on this period of American History and move to Canada.

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

To all the girls in high school who thought I was a loser: how did you know?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

2 years

Feeling down. Can everyone send me pictures of me?

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Conan O'Brien

@ConanOBrien

6 months

Trying to enjoy myself in Buenos Aires, and THIS guy shows up.

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