Feeling such comfort today after filling in the time capsule section in the
#Census2022
last night. Estlin never was counted in a census but 100+ yrs from now she will be remembered & our ancestors will be able to read about her. Just incredible.
6 yrs ago today I had the last normal day of my life. It was routine & mundane. The next day a knock on the door brought news that changed my world forever. A car crash. My child would die. It has never gotten easier. Her absence colours everything.
To see my daughter’s name trending on Irish Twitter…my god, I don’t have the words. I never imagined my tweet would touch so many people. But loss connects us all, we all understand that pain. We all want our loved ones remembered…
Yesterday, Estlin should’ve turned 10 yrs old. Instead, it was the 7th time we blew out her candles. She was such a spectacular human being. I would give anything to know her at this age. Here she is celebrating her 3rd & last bday, a sorrowful memory now.
7 yrs today since a truck driver drove so impatiently he took the life of my daughter. He never did a day in jail & was given back his license early as he “needed to work again”. There is no real justice in Ireland for victims of RTAs & it’s time that changes.
The truck driver responsible for my daughter’s death is back in the courts next week for the 2nd time requesting his license be reinstated early. This disgusting man still thinks 4 yrs off the road is too long for killing a 4 yr old. It fills me with rage.
2016. Our last Christmas with Estlin. 3 days later I gave birth to her beloved baby brother. 11 weeks later a dangerous driver stole her from us forever. It took us 3 yrs before we could celebrate the holiday again but it’ll never be the same without her💔
6 yrs ago today I felt my beautiful little girl’s heart stop beating as I held her after removing life support. I handed her over for organ donation. Then after, I held her cold & lifeless body for the last time. The loss of a child is unbearable.
Yesterday was World Day of Remembrance for road traffic victims. My daughter became one of those statistics 5.5 yrs ago due to a dangerous truck driver.His impatience stole everything from us. She deserved her life. Please drive safely.
#WDoR2022
And tonight, Estlin is remembered & thought of & my heart feels so full. Grief is our love, restless & relentless. I share Estlin because I have to. I am her only voice now. Thank you so much to everyone who listened.
We’re beyond devastated. The court treated Senan O’Flaherty as the victim today & it has left us reeling. The hardship caused by his driving ban was a consequence for killing a child, but apparently 3 yrs of that hardship was enough. I’m just heartbroken.
A truck driver convicted of careless driving causing the death of a three-year-old girl in Co Clare six years ago has successfully had his driving ban reduced following an application to Ennis Circuit Court
Thinking today on Mother’s Day, of this beautiful little girl, the one that made me a mom. Her life changed my world for the better & her death brought on a darkness I never thought I’d see through. My love for her & her 3 siblings keeps me afloat. 🩷Estlin🩷
I am a mess of anxiety today. Never did I think I’d be back in a courtroom with the man who killed my daughter 6 yrs later. But a mother will never stop fighting for her child & I plan on doing that today. No matter what happens my love for her wins, always.
This week has ripped me apart. I’m supposed to just keep going, cooking, cleaning, playing with the kids. I don’t want to do any of that. I want to cry & scream & hide in bed all day. It sometimes feels impossible to be a good mom after your child has died.
Really love this article because it’s not just me going on & on but Vinnie gets his voice heard too. He never does interviews because it’s so much harder for him to speak on his injury & grief. Im very proud of him for this ❤️
Today is my daughter’s 9th birthday but she’s not here to celebrate it. She died right before she would’ve turned 4. It’s also Mother’s Day. She’s the baby that made me a mom & I will celebrate her existence always. Estlin Luna 💖
But I bear it, because there is no other choice. In every moment she is missed. And I will never hide from sharing her with the world. She is my greatest love & my greatest loss. I’m honoured to grieve her so deeply.
#EstlinLuna
@dontlookdown_FB
Here’s my 2nd born Mannix on his 1st day of school. Big sister Estlin never made this milestone, died suddenly right b4 her 4th bday, he was 11 wks old. I sobbed as I dropped him off, wishing I could just be excited 4 him, instead just heartbroken 4 her 💔
@TrundleAlong
@peterdonaghy
So much comfort in knowing that throughout history, bereaved parents have always wanted their child to be remembered. Thanks for sharing that with me.
I’d like someone to explain how, if Irish law states that there is a MANDATORY MINIMUM of a 4yr driving ban after killing someone while careless driving, it is then possible to request your license back early if you didn’t go on to cause anymore crashes?
I shared a very vulnerable post on other social media yesterday but got very little engagement back. Almost 6 yrs on, it finally feels like everyone else is over hearing about the dead kid stuff. But I’ll never get over it & I’ll always need support 💔💔
@keanos12
I don’t believe in Heaven. A child so young should be with their parents. Perhaps an afterlife exists but it’s not where I imagine her. I keep her close in my heart instead.
Anyone else that’s experienced a traumatic event, do you relive it year after year when those dates come back around? Like I’m not here right now, I’m in the hospital with my daughter on life support waiting for her to die. I relive every detail every year.
What kind of parent would you be if you knew it was your last day with your child? 7 yrs ago today was the last day of my daughter’s life before a car crash put her on life support & she never woke up. I have so many regrets from that day…
It feels impossible to be continuing to move further away from my daughter Estlin but 2023 will be the 6th full year without her. She didn’t even live for 4. But those almost 4 years & her untimely death will shape & darken all of my remaining days.
@limerickmary76
Thank you. I’m blessed with her two little siblings, they keep us going & we talk about Estlin with them all the time. She will always be a part of our family & I’m so happy we got to include her in the census in this way.
On top of that the Court of Appeals ruled his first sentence of just that MANDATORY MINIMUM was unduly lenient & added on 18 months fully suspended, 3 yrs on another court will say he’s had enough punishment & reissue his license early? Make it make sense🤬
@Nicola13948374
Because you are selfish and delusional and don’t honestly believe it was your fault. He pled guilty at the last minute then continued blaming everyone else, including my own husband who’s been left with a brain injury from the crash. He’s vile.
My 2nd daughter, Lucie, turns 2 today. My 1st only celebrated 3 birthdays & died right before her 4th. We’re blessed for every happy moment with our surviving children, but it’s in those happy moments we miss Estlin the most.
Went out to Estlin’s favourite beach for a dip in the sea. Was good to feel only the cold for a bit & nothing else. It’s so hard seeing everyone celebrate
#StPatricksDay2023
knowing I’ll never feel right celebrating it myself, being the day before she died💔
“To be brought back into that court again, so many years later and to hear him [O’Flaherty] say, ‘it’s been too difficult having these consequences in my life’, and be rewarded for that – it’s ripped us apart,” she added.
@kim_amerie
My daughter died suddenly over 5 yrs ago just b4 her 4th bday. It’s only in the last yr or so that I’ve finally felt a bit of hope for my future. Time never heals, but you do become better at carrying the pain. Sending you love & solidarity ❤️💔❤️
Started my bday morning with a cuddle with my kids in bed. Two in my arms, one kicking away in my belly & my first held tightly in my heart. Birthdays hit different as a bereaved mother but I’m thankful for every moment I get with my surviving babies❤️
@kim_amerie
You will never move on. But time makes you stronger. Time helps you learn the patterns of your grieving process. You learn to mother your grief like you mother your child. The darkness eventually lets in light. I promise. But it takes time. Just hold on❤️
@shereehankir1
It doesn’t get easier, but life goes on regardless & so we learn how to carry it. You never know what you can survive until you are surviving it. My 2 other children bring me so much genuine joy, but in every joyful moment there is sorrow for their big sister
So please, put your phone down when your kids are talking to you. Make sure you hold them & tell them you love them every day. Be thankful for every milestone reached. It’s a luxury not every child gets, to grow up.
@tierney_ken
I’m so so sorry you know this pain. The crash happens on 15 March 2017 & we removed her life support on the 18th. She was an organ donor & saved 2 lives. It helps a little bit to know that ❤️
@keithjbradshaw_
I’m so so sorry you’ve joined this club, the worst in the whole world. I remember the 1st few yrs, just shock & disbelief. Unbearable physical pain. That does ease, you get better at bearing it. But you will never ever get over it. Sending you love & peace❤️
When my daughter died I wanted to die too. After the birth of our 3rd child, I realised how much I want to live to see her & her brother grow up. I’m beyond heartbroken for Vicky Phelan, who has said her final goodbyes to her babies. A massive loss💔
@HellieEngland
Nope. Even during his request to have his license reinstated, the judge offered him the opportunity to apologise to us & all he said was “It’s very sad but I’ve been driving 40 years.” He’s never showed an ounce of remorse or even looked us in the eye 🤬🤬
The night before the crash, I’d gone grocery shopping. I bought her a new type of flavoured yogurts. They stayed unopened in our fridge for YEARS. I just couldn’t throw them out. Then one day I could.We do what we can when grieving, to hold onto what was lost
I came back home 6 days after Estlin died, walked thru our house looking for the last signs of her life & found her bath toys still filled with water from her last bath. It was months before I cleaned them & I saved some of that water in a glass jar ❤️
@missmulrooney
My kids request bath mash. That’s where they don’t eat their mash potato at the dinner table but instead have me spoon feed them mash while they play in the bath. They’re 6 & 3 🤣🤣
@rtenews
Wow. Pathetic. And the truck driver responsible for killing my daughter only lost his license for 4 yrs then successfully got it reinstated early for “medical reasons”. Justice system is an absolute joke in Ireland.
It feels different this time. There’s nothing more we can do. It feels like he’s won. And I’m right back to the beginning of disbelief that my baby is gone. This little thing of pure light & love. She’s gone & he’s still here, with no consequences. It’s wrong
@HeaneyDaily
I, too, know the pain of seeing a four foot box. Although my little girl was just days shy of 4 years when that box was lowered into the ground.
@edelno519207
We did. My husband was left with a permanent brain injury & most likely will never be able to work again. Yet the fact that the truck driver also couldn’t work seemed to upset the judge more & so he allowed him back on the road.
We desperately hope that the court will see how undeserving this man is for having his sentence reduced. He’s never apologised because he doesn’t think he is actually guilty, even tho he pled guilty yrs ago. He has hurt us more & more every chance he gets.
@colmstenson
She’s named after the poet EE Cummings, Edward Estlin. I’ve never seen the name anywhere else so not sure if it has a meaning! But I grew up loving his poetry & knew I wanted to name a daughter Estlin, as it sounded soft & feminine.
@criminographer
Started 5yr old in play therapy last year. Big sister died in a car crash when he was 3 months old, Dad has acquired brain injury, Mom deep in grief. It’s helping him work through trauma he cannot even identify yet. Def recommend it, never too early to start.
I will always wish I had given her my undivided attention & cuddled her more & kissed her all over. The shock & trauma of the next few days meant I wasn’t in my right mind to comprehend what was really happening. I have so many regrets from then too.
@Ettennables
Thank you Annette. What group was it? I’m not sure how I was even functioning in those initial days & weeks. Shock is an incredible gift our brain gives us during trauma.
Heading away for the night with just the hubby, kids staying with their aunt. Had a total panic attack this morning that we’ll get into a car crash & never return, leaving them as orphans. The fear & anxiety after sudden loss can be debilitating. I hate it.
The death of a loved one isn’t just one single earth-shattering loss. The reality is a tremendous loss followed by a lot of smaller losses in its aftermath.
#death
#Grief
#surviving
#poem
7 yrs today since a truck driver drove so impatiently he took the life of my daughter. He never did a day in jail & was given back his license early as he “needed to work again”. There is no real justice in Ireland for victims of RTAs & it’s time that changes.
5 yrs ago today my big brother Chris died. He had been sober for almost 18 months but the monster that is addiction overpowered him & he used again, for the last time. Loving an addict is hard work. Losing them to addiction is unbearable 💔
Feeling so low today. It’s surreal how even 5 1/2 years on, there can still be these kinds of grief days, out of nowhere. Always trying so hard to find the bits of joy in a life I did not choose. Today, there’s none to be found. Only an unrelenting ache 💔
“Grief makes you do some seemingly weird things. Or maybe grief makes us behave in a way that is our truest self, because every impulse I had felt completely organic.”
Boy, does this resonate with me & I’m sure anyone that’s experienced their child dying
My wife
@MaryKForrest
wrote an essay about grieving our son Henry that is sensitive, bold and above all brave, writing about the hardest thing a parent can ever do. The Week I Spent With Our Son Henry Before He Died: Essay
so mad to me that no billionaire has ever been like.. i’m going to do it. i’m going to fundamentally change the world for the good of the people. just the biggest flex in human history. but no they’re like okay go to space, paper over the cracks, & chill out until the oceans boil
Of course I never could’ve known it would be her last day but I wish I had played with her more. I wish I had looked up from my phone when she was telling me a story. I wish I had stayed home for dinner with her instead of rushing off to the grocery store.
@sas_yvonne
Not irrational at all. When my son reached the birthday that my daughter never made it to, I was filled with panic that something would go wrong. He’s now 2 yrs older than her, but I’m still filled with fear that I’ll lose him or his baby sister too someday.
@AoifeMcGreal1
Unfortunately Vinnie has been left with a permanent brain injury and has daily struggles resulting from it. He most likely will never be able to work or drive again. His life has been completely altered 💔
I wish I had been there for bedtime instead of caring for our new baby (who obviously needed me, but still). I know for sure though that the last words she heard me say to her was “I love you sweetie” & I kissed her goodnight before going to meet a friend.
@2_Over_4
Wow. Truck driver that killed my daughter and left my husband brain injured only got fined €1500! Small price to pay. Also recently got his driving ban overturned so he can get back to work, doing the job he did when he killed someone 🤷🏻♀️🤬
Twitter is such a lovely place for people like this asshole. Honestly, can you imagine saying this to a grieving mother who’s been let down by the justice system? I should block him but I’m so outraged at the audacity to refer to my “self inflicted grieving”
@johnmeaghermuso
This is from Linda, his sister - Would love to tell John how he found love & lost love but gave so much love & joy to all who met him & what an amazing gentleman & brother & how we miss his infectious personality always dancing laughing & willing to help anyone ❤️
@LisaFly38175863
Thank you so much. It was an honour to be on an episode. It was very cathartic for me & I got such a lovely response from so many people. I never tire of talking about Estlin & sharing her/our story 🩷
@playingwithdust
I am also writing about our daughter, Estlin, who died 5 yrs ago shortly before her 4th birthday. Fascinating to think, she will be remembered 100 years from now. Gives me such comfort. Her name still spoken long after I’m gone.
@Independent_ie
4 yr ban? Same as the truck driver who killed my child & left my husband permanently brain injured. Oh except just last week a judge overturned that ban a year early so the trucker can get back on the road for work. What is wrong with this country?!?
@niamh_dr
I too lost my 4yr old daughter in a RTA on rural Clare rd. Truck driver charged with driving dangerously. Judge gave him a 4 yr ban & €1500 fine. Appeals court gave him 16 months suspended. Where is the value on the life of a child?
@chrissierussell
Thank you Chrissie, for always taking the time to put a spotlight on the loss of Estlin & the grief we carry since her death. You write with such empathy & you make me feel heard when talking about our nightmare. One of these days, we’ll meet ❤️
@KayeSteinsapir
My daughter died after a car crash. Truck driver to blame. I got to hold her as she took her last breaths, felt her heart beat for the last time. Can’t imagine the rage of these parents, who’s babies bled out scared & alone, no one coming to save them 💔😭
@ad00c34cfcac481
@hmm_isthatso
I knew it was the right thing to do & feel so much comfort knowing there are parts of my little girl still alive today. There was nothing we could do to save her, but so much we could do to save others. Two people living today because of her ❤️❤️
@criminographer
I know you get it. It’s all this anger though, how do I stay patient with my beautiful kids when they don’t understand why I am so angry? It’s so unfair how this man could still affect me like this.
The incredible legacy of organ donation ❤️❤️❤️
The Gift of Life to so many - from 💖Alyssa Marie💖
My heart breaks for her family, but it is unbelievable how many lives Alyssa saved & how selfless they were to share her with strangers 💞
@Brendango2021
@MevMav
@irish_racer
@iMoanBrutal
@rtenews
Won’t let you end it on that note you sick fuck. My “self inflicted grieving predicament” my “sense of victimhood”??? I know trolls exist but Jesus. You’re as disgusting as that driver, perhaps the same person, or a friend. Fuck all the way off now 👋🏻
Actually feel sick reading this & I know it will be mentioned in court on Tuesday when Senan O’Flaherty requests his driving ban overturned early. I cannot imagine who benefits from such a law? Not the victims. Not safe road users. Not you or me 🤬🤬
@MarcyShea8
I’m so sorry. Suddenly losing a loved one like that is so traumatic. The earth falls out from under you & it feels like it could happen again at any moment. My life now is full of anxiety & fear 💔💔
@CaraLevasseur
Thank you for taking the time to read our victim impact statements. Our lives have been impossibly altered forever by her loss & my husband’s brain injury. But it’s all worth having known her at all ❤️
@AilbheBosca1
So many truck drivers are absolute bullies on the road. They take unacceptable risks because they know they’re protected in such a massive vehicle. But they’re driving a weapon. An impatient trucker killed my child, only lost his license for 4 years.
@MsKimKaze
The English Lit degree in me is feeling all the cringe that I obviously used the wrong word & didn’t catch it before posting! 🤦🏻♀️ and of course it’s my first tweet that got any attention. Dying inside I can’t edit it 🤣😳🙈
@salticracker
The morning my daughter was killed in a car crash, I was so tired from being up with her baby brother all night. So I didn’t get up to help her get ready & my husband didn’t let her come up to say goodbye.I’ll never understand why that had to be her last day.
@Wonder_Jonboy
The evidence & witnesses clearly pointed to it being his fault alone. The judge sympathised that he wouldn’t be able to drive or work for 4 yrs. yet my husband will never drive or work again & our child is dead. It enraged me to hear the judge say that.
Trying to buy flights home for the summer. For whatever reason, the payment won’t go through. Been trying since yesterday! But every time we try & start over the price goes up. Wtf
@AerLingus
?! This seems so unfair.
Wow insanity! The courts have now decided you need to kill multiple people while driving before losing your license. No mandatory ban for careless driving causing death on first offence, court rules via
@breakingnewsie