Zack Ferguson @zackferguson Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Zack Ferguson

1 year

Update: for those of you apprehensive about downloading dodgy files, the game is now available to play in browser! Sadly not optimised for mobile though. Don't forget to click the little cogwheel in the bottom right hand corner to go full screen.

Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Okay so this is niche AF, but I've always wanted to make an old school point'n'click adventure game set in a hospital. Inspired by how profoundly nerdy so many of you are, I've finally got round to it. It's very, VERY short but here it is: DOCTORS QUEST.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Don’t know what we were doing between 1997 and 2010 but maybe we should give it another go?

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

I know everyone’s attributing temperature of 38 °C to climate change but have we ruled out sepsis

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

People saying “NHS staff knew the pay when they took the job, if they don’t like it they should leave” have no plan for what to do when that actually happens. Spoilers: it’s already started

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

I’ve been meaning to write a thread about this for a while so here goes… for the benefit of anyone who’s struggling as a new dad, here’s a frank account of my first few weeks of parenthood. It was difficult to write so I’m afraid it’s a long one! 🧵 (TW: post-natal depression)

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

wow these rota emails are really escalating

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

10 months

If you see this guy on TV later trying to justify why NHS staff don’t deserve a decent pay rise, I want you to remind yourself that he owns 9 separate homes.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 months

I’m a medical registrar. I’ve been a qualified doctor for 10 years, in training for 16. Out of hours, I’m the most senior physician on site caring for acutely unwell patients. I recently returned from paternity to work 60% as it’s the only way we could make childcare work. (1/4)

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

The only way NHS staff could be more pissed off with Matt Hancock going into the jungle is if he’d accidentally taken the CD keys with him.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Those arguing that “junior” doctors like me shouldn’t be well paid because we’re still “in training” and don’t yet have the skills and knowledge to deserve it should realise that I’ve had a license to practise medicine for longer than the Prime Minister’s had MP after his name.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

remember guys your employer owns your downtime

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

I love these trust-wide emails

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Doctors are like “don’t worry sister I redressed the wound myself” and this is the dressing

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

next time she visits me at work I’m letting her hold the med reg bleep

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

omg as if they counted

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Gutted to learn we’re finally going to have to empty out that ward we’ve been keeping full of people who don’t actually need to be in hospital. I’m going to miss them.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

🚨BREAKING🚨 temperatures during next week’s heatwave now expected to top 40C, leading some NHS hospitals to consider turning off the central heating.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Get that consultant coming in on a Saturday look. The shirt says "I'll see anyone you're worried about", but the fleece says "I'm going home at lunchtime, here's my number if you need anything".

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

The question itself is absurd @guardian

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Nana babysitting for our first evening out in a while and honestly this (thankfully misspelled) text I got midway through dinner had me a little worried 😂

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

I don’t normally read the weekly trust email update from the corporate team but WOW

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

So glad my taxes are paying for the social media team at DHSC to brief against its workforce. Disgraceful.

Department of Health and Social Care

@DHSCgovuk

1 year

The BMA has demanded a 35% pay rise for junior doctors. Here's their current average pay rates at different levels.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

80% of people who think they have “difficult” veins have perfectly normal veins but a clinician missed a cannula once and blamed them to save face discuss

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

you just couldn’t make this up

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

wtf Rishi why

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Okay hear me out: make a hospital TV show with an American budget, beautiful American actors and thumping great doses of hyperbolic American melodrama… but set it on a UK AMU and deal exclusively with the everyday minutia of life on the NHS. Allow me to elaborate… 🧵

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Who could forget these heartwarming scenes? Last year - at the height of the pandemic - NHS staff across the country took a break from COVID to applaud Laurence Fox for paying income tax on the rare occasion he had an actual job. #TheREALNHSHero

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 months

Our current crop of foundation doctors are brilliant, dedicated professionals who would be much better off financially if they left the country or profession. We can’t afford to lose them. So if you don’t support the strike, I need to know: what should we do to keep them? (4/4)

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Overwhelmed with sadness and rage. London COVIDIot march passing the end of our road. After spending a sizeable chunk of the last year watching people die of COVID, having to watch these people walk past your house carrying banners that say “HOAX” on them is 👎 🙁

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 years

Things the NHS can’t do: - pay its staff on time - run its own car parks - use versions of Windows <10 years old Things the NHS (apparently) can do: - participate in an elaborate international public health conspiracy so fiendishly complex only Richard Madeley could rumble it

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

The things about consultants is: for every grandstanding narcissist there are 1000s of delightful bods, who show up still wearing their bike helmets, tell you the same boring story they told you yesterday and toddle off to buy everyone Costa once you’ve meandered round the ward.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

I’ll leave you with this video, taken when CJ was about 6 months old. The first time I made her properly laugh. It took six months longer than I thought it would but here it is - the greatest moment of my life. 🙂

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Medical student twitter bio: Fourth Year MBBS Uni of Nantwich | BSc Embryonic Gerontology (2.2) |VP/Treasurer Nantwich Fire Safety Soc | Future Interventional Pathologist | SJA Catastrophe Commander | Student Lead for MedTroSciBroFutureTech Consultant bio: i like bikes and gin

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Me at the OSCE rest station

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

ITU ward rounds:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Appreciate people are calling for more FY1 jobs, but let’s be real - what would we even DO with the extra FYs other than improve patient safety and doctor wellbeing by running a robustly-staffed service with more time for professional development and a greater buffer for illness?

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Alright so at the request of @DoctorFitz , here it is: Shaun Bailey’s annoying Christmas interns as the FY1 friends you’ll meet on your very first day of Foundation, a THREAD.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Later this week when Sunak tells us that austerity is now our only option, just remember that the tax his wife dodged would be enough to pay the salaries of 10 Band 5 nurses for 75 years.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Thérèse Coffey has announced that Women’s Health and Bowel Cancer Services will be her top priorities as health secretary “That’s why we’re dropping the Oxford comma” she told the BBC, “so we can focus all our attention on periods and colons.”

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

It says a lot about the UK that I left school knowing next-to-nothing about slavery but almost everything about how history’s most abusive husband disposed of each of his wives.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

We’re still seeing young, healthy unvaccinated patients dying of a now preventable disease. THAT clip will do big numbers. Thousands of vaccine hesitant people will see it and make a choice that may well kill them. Its impact is unimaginable I don’t have a joke for that today

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

You struggling through your first year of specialty training vs your mate doing FY3 in Australia:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 years

It's election time so get ready for... Current prominent UK politicians as NHS consultants: A THREAD

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

There are two types of junior doctor: those who run a half-marathon in the rain for fun after work and those who get chest pain carrying the two cheesecakes they bought for dinner home from the bus stop after work.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Seriously though has anyone seen it

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Instructor: okay Steve the patient’s not breathing what do you do Steve: no he’s ok I think Instructor: he’s in cardiac arrest Steve: I’ve acknowledged that winter will be difficult and I’m aware of the challenges he’s facing but I’m confident he’s fine Instructor: Steve pls

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

I’m just a med reg finishing an awful run of nights standing in front of a city overflowing with COVID asking it to consider whether Christmas dinner is even that nice

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

The first time we pit the oedema is to confirm its presence. The following 12 times are because we find it weirdly soothing and I’m the only one brave enough to say it

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Not getting the vaccine is a brave personal choice. But the man I once watched tell his labouring wife he thought the midwife was “quite fit” was also making a brave personal choice and sometimes brave personal choices have dire consequences.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Gutted these FY1s are missing out on ward Christmas party season. Watching your consultant recreate the routine from Dirty Dancing with the diabetes CNS while your reg snogs the ward pharmacist and the clinical director chunders all over Sister Sandra’s favourite shoes? Iconic.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Suggesting doctors should tolerate a 20%+ real terms pay cut because we get paid more than others is an interesting take on wealth redistribution from a political class who are too busy avoiding tax and defrauding the public to notice people are freezing to death but fine

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 months

You may not support the strike and that’s fair. But how do you suggest we convince young people to put in the many years of training to become doctors? NHS practice alone will never make them rich. Hell, it’s hard enough to buy a house without parental or spousal support. (3/4)

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Met a girl who said she wanted to be a doctor. Told her to forget it. Explained about the debt, the crap pay, the exams, the bureaucracy, the endless soul-crushing misery… Anyway she threw the toy stethoscope on the floor and ran crying to her mum now I’m banned from playgroup

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Me, hearing that hospitalisations are rising but fewer patients are needing ITU: wow that’s awesome news Me, remembering who has to look after hospitalised patients not sick enough to need ITU:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Shout out to Wes for snatching despair from the jaws of hope

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 months

Nursery fees eat up 65.7% of my take home salary, leaving me about £600 a month better off for having gone to work. The ONLY reason I can afford the luxury of being a doctor is because my wife works full time. That’s a privilege many of my colleagues simply do not have. (2/4)

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

A lot of new FY1s seem quite worried that their first job is Resp but they shouldn’t panic - two weeks from now every job will be Resp.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

just had this conversation with a rota admin from a previous job absolute state of this

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

My favourite phenotype of Med Reg is the exquisitely senior ST19 at the end of a night shift. Arms folded over ragged cardigan, she stares down the nervous post-take consultant who used to be her SHO with the cold glare of a woman whose patience for this bullshit ran out long ago

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

hang on sorry what

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Join us next week for “Tony Blair: how I would prevent the Iraq War”

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

When you’re already 20 minutes into evening handover and someone starts a debate about the choice of antibiotics

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Happy to render my services for free, provided: - my landlord - British Gas - any future mortgage providers - petrol stations - my daughter’s nursery - Pizza Express - Adobe Photoshop …do the same. Thank you @gnuseibeh for your tireless work building our new communist Utopia

Ghanem Nuseibeh

@gnuseibeh

1 year

Selfish. Junior doctors who risk lives aren’t fit to be doctors and I hope they don’t get any pay rise. Morality means you save lives regardless of pay. If you save lives to get paid, then you’re in the wrong profession #JuniorDoctorsStrike

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

My favourite phenotype of anti-strike keyboard warrior today is the bloke convinced that the union must be lying about fully qualified doctors earning £14/hr because it sounds absurdly low. Like my dude you are so close to understanding this

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

People say that NHS staff don’t get bonuses but actually if you work really, really hard you do get rewarded with even more work.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Next year I’ll be paying >£200pcm to park my car at work. I have to pay to be regulated, to be indemnified and to be trained. All before I earn a penny. Parking, childcare, food, gas… all these things have shot up. My pay hasn’t. We’re not unreasonable.

Junior doctor pay talks collapse as medics refuse to negotiate

Representatives from the British Medical Association told health secretary Steve Barclay they would be unwilling to accept anything less than a 35 per cent pay rise.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

I can't even believe some of these SJT questions are real

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Enjoying the media pontificating on how much we deserve a win after what England’s been through during COVID, hopelessly unaware of the irony in this statement when the other team is ITALY

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

6 months

When you’ve tried every antibiotic and none of them have worked so micro tell you to just put them back on Co-Amoxiclav and hope for the best

Sky News

@SkyNews

6 months

BREAKING: Former PM David Cameron has been seen entering Downing Street amid a government re-shuffle. Latest 🔗 📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Did a sick note today for a patient who otherwise would have gone back to their GP. As I sat thinking of the GP whose life I just changed forever, I feel this warm glow envelope me. I realise I’ve single handedly saved primary care from certain ruin. Am I a hero? No. Just a man.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Do you know what's weird? When you're lying between two broken wheelie chairs in a freezing cold office at 3am, eating stale custard creams under one of those uquitous blue NHS blankets and you just feel so blessed that nothing awful is happening at that particular moment.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Medical team when they find out the CT Head was done 5hrs59 mins after the onset of headache

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

No one: Absolute no one: Journalists writing an article featuring a female doctor:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

NHS: we will fix any part of your body for free, that’s a promise, any part of you that’s gone wrong we’ll fix it for free UK: seriously? any part? NHS: yep any part of you, any part at all, all for free we promise UK: even my teeth? NHS: …okay not teeth

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

I’d wax lyrical about the sacrifices our amazing nurses made during the pandemic… but I’m not sure that’s necessary. Nurses don’t need to be idolised as martyrs or applauded as heroes. They need to be paid fairly for the work they do. Absolute solidarity with the #NursesStrike .

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Latest from the palace:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

🚨BREAKING🚨 government in crisis as night team now 40 ministers down. Shifts have been put out to locum but I’m told most remain unfilled, allegedly because Sunak didn’t hand over his Allocate password so Zahawi is unable to escalate the rates.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

10 months

Shit. Just found my acceptance email from med school. Turns out I DID know what I was signing up for. Guess the strikes are cancelled 😞

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Star Trek if Starfleet was run by the NHS, a thread.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

If I had complete control: FY1: 6mo Surgery, 6mo Medicine FY2: 4mo ED, 4mo GP, 4mo a (guaranteed) supernumerary specialty of your choice Max 2 different hospitals. Abolish almost all ePortfolio requirements. Substitute teaching for weekly small group case debriefing.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

I feel like the pandemic will have given this generation of med regs a weirdly high threshold at which to panic. Like twenty years from now a rabid velociraptor will be loose in AMU and I’ll be that consultant calmly making his way round getting everyone’s Costa order.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Starting FY1 is a challenging time. Forget #TipsForNewDocs - here’s a selection of weird, awkward and embarrassing things that have happened to me since I qualified to make you feel better:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

A TFL worker just got on my bus and is politely asking people without masks to put one on unless they are exempt. Forget football, that’s real bravery and this dude deserves a stadium full of people cheering for him.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

In a delightfully on point metaphor for the NHS workforce, these two mice - one without a functioning left click and the other without a functioning right click - are together doing their best to keep going despite both being broken beyond repair. #NHSHeroes

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Okay so now obsessed with how all British politicians look like weird awkward medical students whenever they visit a hospital

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Weird that he retweeted me like this tbh

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Good evening to everyone except the genius who ruined NHS mail

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

You’d think pandemic medicine would be glamorous but it’s pretty much just calculating exactly how many minutes someone’s had COVID for so you can check whether they’re eligible for a medication that’s both less safe AND less effective than the vaccine they’re already refused.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Today is our weekly microbiology MDT. It’s not a social occasion. It’s a serious meeting to discuss clinical cases with a panel of experts: an acute physician, a microbiologist, a pharmacist, and my wife, who’s bringing a bottle of Pinot, an M&S cheeseboard and our newborn baby

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

The media this weekend:

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Re: physician recruitment. A reminder to medical consultants that if you lead a brand new FY1 on an unnecessary ten hour ward round this week you are literally writing an anaesthetist's origin story.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Every time I pass this hive of quackery, I wonder: if they can’t get the cannula in, do they bleep the anaesthetists? Or does their reg have to try first?

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

swabs from Thérèse Coffey’s friendship group are back and uh oh

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Every trainee emailing a consultant: “Noble sir, forgive my unforgivable insolence but I must beg you once again for a crumb of miniCEX. Should this request offend you I will gladly sever both my thumbs. You need but ask.” Every consultant reply: “hi mate yeh thats fine lol”

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

10 months

omg Rishi

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

2 years

Been a Dad 4 months today and have only just started to get my head around it so I guess it’s time to rotate round to a new baby?

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

1 year

Everyone saying medical students shouldn’t cross the picket lines but I think to maximise the disruptive impact of the strikes they should ALL show up to placement and demand teaching.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

3 years

Incoming FY1s spent the back half of med school in chaos mode, missed their electives, didn't get a graduation and are now being dropped into their first jobs just before the third wave hits. Anyone being anything other than supportive can do one.

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Zack Ferguson

@zackferguson

4 years

Cheeky locum shift on what would have been my wedding weekend. I’m not a hero. I’m just a man asking for a few 1000 retweets reassuring me that my sacrifice has redefined altruism for a generation. Maybe offering to name a postbox in Dunstable after me. I don’t ask for much.

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